这么长时间正常吗
Is it supposed to take this long?
妈妈 我... 等等 我知道你很生气
Mom, I... Wait. I-I know you're mad.
但 妈 我 不是我想要做这个的
But, Mom, I-I didn't even want to do it.
求你了 妈
Please. Mom.
妈 妈 妈
Mom... Mom... Mom!
哦 该死 不 不...
Oh, fuck. No, no, no, no.
不 不 不...
No, no, no, no, no.
撒旦的恐慌
袋鼠听着歌♥
♪ Kangaroos are listening ♪
旁边的考拉也侧耳
♪ Some koala bears are, too ♪
他们听不到我的心跳
♪ They can't hear my heartbeat ♪
也不知道我在想你
♪ They don't know I miss you ♪
你嗑药 你吸毒
♪ You got pills, you got drugs ♪
但你其实只需要一个拥抱
♪ What you need is a hug ♪
在你的伪装之下 我无法看清你
♪ I can't see you behind your paraphernalia ♪
但我还在澳大利亚
♪ But I'm waiting for you ♪
等着你
♪ In Australia ♪
这他妈 这是啥呀
What the... What is that?
跟你说了吧
I told you.
在澳大利亚
♪ In Australia ♪
就不该给你们看的
I shouldn't have shown you guys.
哦
Oh.
送披萨这份行当的技巧是
Delivering pizza is a calling whose techniques
-一代一代 -靠"身体"学习
- are passed down orally... - And anally.
口口相传下来的
...from generation to generation.
这就是入学仪式
This is hazing.
真棒
Great.
有两份送去邻镇的 三份送去西边
Got a double going to S Town, triple going west,
长老派的人还点了留堂餐
and the Presbyterians are having a lock-in.
哦 我去给长老会的老家伙们送
Ooh! I get the pesky Presbies.
嘿 卡里姆 你去西边
Hey, Karim, you're west.
小姑娘 去邻镇
Young lady, S Town.
宝贝 邻镇可不会有什么好事
Ain't nothing good happening in S Town, baby.
在澳大利亚
♪ In Australia ♪
萨姆斯特
Samster.
嗯
Yeah?
你欠我5美元
You owe me $5.
为什么
For what?
保温袋的押金
Deposit on the thermal bag.
哦 但我得用这5美元加油
Oh. But I need that $5 for gas.
听好了 等你送完 它还会在这儿等着你
Look. It'll be right there when you're done.
嘿 我可不想让我的女朋友哭个不停
Hey. I don't want my girlfriend crying.
我才不是你女朋友
I'm not your girlfriend.
你可一直找我呢
You keep calling me.
那是为了找工作
For a job.
你得到工作了啊
And here you are.
谢谢 这可太棒了
Thanks. It's great.
你欠我个人情
You owe me.
请挪开 我要淋湿了
Please move. I'm getting wet.
我对所有女人都有这个魔力
I have that effect on all women.
你该多做做冥想
You should meditate.
真正的宇宙 就在这儿
Real universe? It's in there.
噗
Boop!
等等 为什么你们管它叫邻镇
Wait. Why did you call it S Town?
吝啬鬼小镇
Scrooge Town.
从来不给小费
Never tips.
该死
Shit.
两只小白兔
Two fuzzy bunnies.
两只小白兔 两只小白兔
Two fuzzy bunnies. Two fuzzy bunnies.
两只小白兔
Two fuzzy bunnies.
呃 您点了宅急送的订单吗
Um, did you order from Home Run?
没错 你能帮我抬一下这边吗
Righteous. Can you grab one end?
哦 我 我还有别的单要送
Oh, I-I have another delivery.
-你叫什么 -萨姆
- What's your name? - Sam.
我也是 多巧啊
Mine too. What are the chances?
你必须得给我搭把手
You have to give me a hand.
-这是萨姆的约定 -还有这东西
- It's the code of the Sams. - Is that a thing?
全美国有七百万个叫萨姆的
There are 7 million Sams in America,
你是我遇见的第一个居然
and you're the first one I've ever met
都不知道萨姆的约定的
who doesn't know the code of the Sams?
-我 我 -萨姆要帮助萨姆
- I-I... - Sams helping Sams.
我们都这么干
That's our jam.
好吧
All right.
好了 真棒 来抓住这边
All right. Sweet. Grab this end.
没有上帝
呃 一共是24.75美元
Uh, that'll be $24.75.
-谢谢 -你要走[上厕所]吗
- Thank you. - Do you have to go?
呃 你付完钱 我就走啊
Well, after you pay, I go.
我是说尿尿 你要撒尿吗
Piss. Do you have to piss?
-什么 -我这儿有个家伙
- What? - I have this guy in here,
他想让我往他脸上撒尿 但我尿过了
and he wants me to piss on his face, but I already went.
我付你12美元
I'll pay you $12.
呃 不要吧
Uh... no?
假正经
Prude.
我还以为你是墨西哥人
I thought you was Mexicans.
呃 一共是8.98美元
Um, that'll be $8.98.
我的找零呢
My change?
今天是洗衣日
It's laundry day.
我的理查德在天堂里用不到这些了
My Richard doesn't need this in heaven.
-哦 哦 不 不 不要了 -看起来你穿合适极了
- Oh. Oh, no, no, no. - And it's exactly your size.
-我 我不需要这个 -祝福你
- I-I don't need this. - Bless your heart.
哦
Oh!
这可是萨姆之间的交情 给你了
From one Sam to another, you rule.
过期了
It's expired.
整整四个小时 我的收获就只有
In four hours, my total earnings
一张过期的苹果蜂优♥惠♥券 鼻伤风
are an expired Applebee's coupon, a head cold,
还有一件有种族歧视味道的毛衣
and a sweater that smells like racism.
你才第一天干这个
It's your first day.
我♥干♥这个是为了拿小费的
I took this job for the tips.
你需要一个能确保你拿到最丰厚的订单的人
You need someone to make sure you get the fat orders.
你吗
You?
我看的电影只有纪录片
The only movies I watch are documentaries,
我去健身房♥的时候 我会听有声书籍
and when I go to the gym, I listen to books.
我可以满足你所有的生理和心理需求
I can satisfy all your physical and intellectual needs.
我没有什么需求
I don't have any needs.
你接受不了我的直接
You're uncomfortable because I'm authentic.
往磨坊盆地送的 五个披萨 分五份装
Delivery for Mill Basin. Five pies in five.
那已经出了我们的配送区了
That's outside our zone.
我♥干♥
I'll do it.
-你去哪儿 疯狂的麦克斯 -呃 磨坊盆地
- Where to, Mad Max? - Uh, Mill Basin.
五年前 我接了一个往磨坊盆地送的单子
Five years ago, I took an order to Mill Basin.
那帮混♥蛋♥不仅没给我小费
The fuckers stiffed me for the tip
还当着我面把门摔上了
and slammed the door in my face.
所以我从窗户那里进去 看到好多人乱七八糟的聚在一起
So I went through the window, and everybody's boning...
有男的 小妞 阿猫阿狗啊 还有个青蛙什么玩意的
like, dudes, chicks, dogs and cats, a frog and shit.
然后我进去 就像这样 呱 呱
So I'm in there getting it, like, "Ribbit!"
然后所有人就 啊 啊
Like everybody's all, "Unh! Unh!"
然后我把帽子挨个传过去
And I passed the hat.
装了32美元回来
Made $32.
你去磨坊盆地之前还是个外卖♥♥小哥
You go to Mill Basin a delivery boy,
等你回来 就是个外卖♥♥老哥了
but you come back a delivery man.
磨坊盆地
你好
Hello?
宅急送披萨
Home Run Pizza.
嗨
Hi.
我今天第一天送
It's my first night.
抱歉
Sorry.
好了
Okay.
给你
Here you go.
谢谢你
Thank you.
哦 等等 如果你不签了这个的话我老板会很生气的
Oh, wait. My boss gets mad if you don't sign.
谢谢你 先生 祝你晚上好
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