彩蛋大屠杀（2020）

不过
About that.
那是不可能的
That ain't gonna happen.
西蒙刚刚表明了立场
Simon's just signed you up in his place.
他说你会做好准备的
He said you'd be well up for it.
同意吧
Allow it,yeah.
西蒙不在这里,我们没得玩
Simon ain't here,we're fucked.
没人帮你开车门
You're not gonna get someone to come out
你今晚也回不去了,对吗?
for your car tonight,are you?
西蒙把房♥间订到了BNB
Simon had the room booked to the BNB
所以你有地方住了
so you got somewhere to stay.
杰西说真的你能高兴点吗?
Jess,seriously, live it up a little,will ya?
这只是一场彩弹游戏
It's just a game of paintball.
会很有趣的
It'll be fun.
你真的没有计划
You really weren't planning
来玩彩弹游戏是不是?
on coming paintballing,were ya?
没有
No.
我的其他衣服和钥匙都在车里
My other clothes are in the car with my keys.
来穿这个吧
Here,have this.
谢谢
Thanks.
没关系
That's all right.
给你
Here.
西蒙的事很遗憾
It's a shame about Simon.
很可能现在要等到州政♥府♥了才能见到他
Probably won't see him now until well the state.
演讲准备得怎么样了?
How's the speech coming along?
没准备
It's not.
不管怎样我可能只会即兴发挥一下
I'll probably just wing it anyway.
哦,我们走吧
Oh,here we go.
早上好,队员们
Morning,team.
今天都好吗?
How we all doing today?
这家伙看起来不太适合
This one looks a little bit the worst for wear.
昨晚太嗨了,是吗?
Heavy one last night, was it?
我很好
I'm fine.
我可以打败那堆流浪汉
I can beat the bum.
我来报到,长官
Reporting for duty,sir.
好的,要开一段路
Right,it's a bit of a drive,
不过幸运的是我有一些阅读材料给你们
but luckily I've got some reading material for ya.
免责声明你们可以通过此找到
Disclaimers,so you can find out all the ways
所有可能让你们受伤的方式
in which you are about to be injured.
受伤
Injured.
等等,等一下
Wait,wait no minute.
只要在那张表格上签字就行了
Just sign the bastard forms.
天啊
Geez.
不知道昨晚的咖喱里有什么
Don't know what was in that curry last night,
但我今天早上拉稀了
but I just shit this morning.
看起来像豌豆汤和猫粮混合在一起
It looked like pea soup mixed with cat food.
你应该喝点果汁什么的
You should try juice or something.
姜汁汽水通常对我来说很管用
Ginger ale worked for me.
有多久没见了?
How long has it been?
快一年了
Coming on to a year.
这是西蒙的主意
It was Simon's idea.
他看得出来我太心力交瘁了
He can see I was overdoing it.
你想辞职吗?
Do you want to quit?
或者只是他想让你辞职?
Or is it just he wants you to quit?
抱歉
Sorry.
这不关我的事
It's none of my business.
谁会想住在那里呢?
Who would want to live there?
迷人的乡村小屋
Charming countryside cottage.
我可以把它卖♥♥了
I could sell that.
好了
Right.
谁以前玩过彩弹?
Who's done paintballing before?
来看看你们的内德·凯利
Well check you out Ned Kelly.
你可以向其他人展示是怎么玩的
You can show the others how it's done.
现在你们把手♥机♥给加里
Now,you pass your phones to Gary.
为什么?
Why?
不然手♥机♥如果损坏了你不能说是我们的错
So if they get damaged,you can't say it was our fault.
如果我未婚夫打电♥话♥来怎么办?
What if my fiance calls?
电♥话♥
Phones.
交出来
Now.
全部交出来
All of you.
好的,今天早上有没有人喝点什么?
Right,has anyone had anything to drink this morning?
我喝了拿铁
I had chai tea latte.
你当然这么做了
Course you did.
酒精饮料
Alcoholic drinks.
好的,有人身上有毒品或酒精吗?
Right,anyone got any drugs or alcohol on their person?
没,我们没有
No,we're okay.
马特体内还有不少酒精呢
Matt's still got a couple of pints in him.
不是吗,伙计?
Don't you,mate?
我很好
I'm all right.
可以跟他们玩
Compete with them.
好的,很好
Right,very good.
你们的工具箱在那边的更衣室里
Your kit is in the changing room over there.
你们自便吧,我要走了
I am gonna love ya and leave ya
去接另一队人
and go and pick up the other team.
好的
All right.
伙计们你们对队长有什么想法吗?
So,any thoughts on the team captain then,lads?
我是队长
I'm captain.
我他妈的是这里的老大
I'm the fucking boss of this.
我的队伍是冠军
My team are champions.
地区冠军,连续三年
Regional champions,three years running.
这是我的特长
This is my thing.
丹在阿富汗的三次任务中幸存下来
Dan survived three tours in Afghanistan.
没错
That's right.
那不代表什么,兄弟
That means nothing,bro.
我和少年犯一起生活了六个月
I survived six months with young offenders.
彩弹游戏是阻止我回去那的原因
Paintball is what stopped me going back.
这是我的特长
This is my thing.
我可是布里尔
This is Brill.
你真的觉得
You actually think that getting shot
这装满油漆的塑料炸♥弹♥比真枪真弹还真实吗?
by plastic bombs full of paint is more real than this?
这就是我们的不同之处
That's where we're different.
你中弹了
You got hit.
好的,好的,好的
All right,all right,all right.
谁想让丹当队长?
Who wants Dan as captain?
请举手
Raise of hands.
一目了然
Sorted.
不,我他妈的才不♥穿♥这该死的衣服
No,I'm not fucking wearing this shit.
至少你会合身的
At least yours will fit.
这是他们最小的了
This is the smallest they have.
你♥他♥妈♥的刚才对我说了什么?
What the fuck did you just say to me?
你说我他妈的胖吗?
You calling me fucking fat?
至少有足够的口袋
Least they have plenty of pockets.
哦妈的
Oh shit.
你看清楚了吗,是吗,嗯?
You get a good look,did you,hm?
你这个该死的变♥态♥
You fucking perv.
我在系我该死的鞋带
I was tying my fucking shoelaces.
如果你想知道她长什么样
If you wanted to know what she looked like,
你可以问我
you could ask me.
休斯先生不是经常抓到你吗
Didn't Mr.Hughes used to catch you
每隔一周都会在女更衣室偷看一次?
like peeping in the girls changing room every other week?
你们能不能别再胡闹了我们得干正事了?
Can you guys stop fucking around so we can do this?
来吧
Come on in.
- 不. - 哇
- No. - Whoa.
他们会杀了我们的
They're gonna murder us.
他们都是秃子
They're all bald.
等一等
Hold on.
你不能这样出去
You're not going out like that.
你♥他♥妈♥的以为你是谁,我妈妈?
Who the fuck do you think you are,my mom?
喔
Ow.
你这么做干嘛,你这个婊♥子♥?
What'd you do that for,you cunt?
想象一下光着身子中弹是什么感觉
Imagine how that feels on bare flesh,yeah.