疯狂保姆

Her screaming's better than her singing, though.
把腿合拢 在我看来她自作自受
Close your legs. She brought it on herself, in my opinion.
当然这些女孩可以使任何人发疯
Of course, those girls are enough to drive anyone around the bend.
谁让他们变成这样的
But who let them get that way?
就是她
She did.
-腿 -是
-Legs. -Yeah.
有一次...有一次他们买♥♥了这个泳池
Once, um... Once they bought this pool. Oh!
这个是
Oh! This is...
不 不 是这个
No... No, this...
太糟糕了
This is terrible!
不不不 你不能告诉她那个
Oh, no, no, no, you can't tell her that,
-我不会 -你不能
-I won't! -You can't!
他们搞了这个简易泳池
They got this upright pool.
然后把它放在了后院
And they put it in their backyard,
但他们家后院在一块斜坡上
and their backyard's on a slant.
然后所有穆曲穆尔家的人他们都进去了
So all the Moochmores, they all get in,
然后
and then...
也不是全部了 巴瑞当然没进 因为你永远见不着他
Well, not all of them. Not Barry, of course, 'cause you never see him.
不过因为那在一块斜坡上 所以他们好像只能洗一边
But because it's on a slant, they just go, like, whooshing to one side,
然后再洗另一边 然后那个池子就裂了
and then the side... And then the side just, like, breaks.
裂了
Side breaks!
所以他们漏了一院子
So they spill out all over the yard...
-然后漂浮 -就像一串香蕉一样推出
-And they float... -They're rolling out like a bunch of bananas.
雪莉·穆曲穆尔 她又开始尖叫了
Shirley Moochmore, she just starts screaming again.
就像隔壁住的是原住民似的
It's like living next to an Aboriginal encampment.
因为老妈讨厌土著
'Cause Mum hates Abos.
那雪莉·穆曲穆尔这几天去哪里了
And where is Shirley Moochmore these days?
这是个悬赏百万的问题
There's the million dollar question.
你真笨
You're such an idiot!
科拉 救我
Coral, help!
我活这么些年 从来没见过这么悲剧的
In all me life, I have never witnessed a sorrier display.
-谁 -雪莉
-Yep? -Shirley?
不是 你是谁
No, who's this?
我是朵莉丝·查尔斯
This is Doris Charles speaking.
你是朵莉丝·查尔斯阿姨吗
Ah, would this be Auntie Doris Charles?
谁啊
Who's this?
我是夏兹阿姨
This is Auntie Shaz speaking.
夏兹阿姨
Auntie Shaz?
我不知道巴瑞有个妹妹
I didn't know Barry had a sister.
我比其它的保姆强多了
Yeah, well, I'm more the auntie you earn than the other kind.
什么其它类型
What other kind?
你的口味 恋发癖型
Your kind. The hairdressing kind.
我没有恋发癖
I'm not a hairdresser.
那你最好把珍的头发还给她
Oh. Well, you'd better give Jane her hair back, then, hadn't you?
好吧 另一个
OK. Another one.
还是我
It's still me.
你知道在城里他们都怎么说你们吗
You know what they say about youse in this town?
他们说你们是一群疯子 他们说你们不属于这里
They say youse are freaks. They say you don't belong.
说你们是一无是处 做什么都成不了事的无业游民
They say you're good-for-nothing layabouts who never achieve nothing.
如果有人这么说我 我一定割了他们的喉咙
If someone said that about me, I'd cut their throats.
你们为什么不出去割了他们的喉咙
Why aren't youse out there, cutting their throats?
因为他们说的是真的
Because it's true.
有人在外面看着我们啊
There's someone outside watching us.
哈啰
Hello?
哈啰
Hello?
哈啰
Hello?
哈啰
Hello?
哈啰
Hello!
我觉得他们挂了
I think they hung up.
米歇尔 你电♥话♥没拿对 亲爱的
Michelle. You're holding the phone the wrong way, my darl.
说话
Hello?
米歇尔
Michelle?
是啊
Yeah?
能说话吗
Can you talk?
能啊
Yeah.
我是朵丽丝阿姨 你们一切还好吧
It's Auntie Doris. ls everything all right?
是你在外面的车上吗
Oh, is that you outside in the car?
你妈呢
Where's your mother?
度假去了
On holiday.
度假去了 那 那巴瑞呢 你老爸呢
On holiday? Well, where's Barry? Where's your father?
我不知道啊 他从不在家的
I don't know. He's never here, is he?
可能他死了 但他们忘了告诉我们了
Maybe he's dead and they forgot to tell us.
你能从窗户看见我吗
Can you see me at the window?
我在向你招手啊 干嘛不进来
I'm waving at you. Why don't you come in?
不 我不能进来
No, no, I can't come in.
她从不进来 她认为我们是猪
She never comes in. She thinks we're pigs.
真的
Really?
我们现在不是猪啊 这里很干净啊 看见没
We're not pigs now. It's all tidy, see?
你是不是车抛锚了
Did you break down, or something?
我们可以出来帮你推一把
We could come out and give you a push.
米歇尔 夏兹这女的是谁
Michelle, look, who is this Shaz woman?
你好啊
G'day!
我就是一路从塔斯马尼亚来的 夏侬·索恩班德
Sharon Thornbender, all the way from Tassie.
用免提听筒 用免提听筒
Put it on speaker, put it on speaker!
别做任何惊讶的举动 朵莉丝
Don't make any sudden moves, Doris,
他只是过来看看你是不是性变♥态♥
he's checking to see if you're a sex pervert.
莱泼可以在十步之内嗅出一个疯子
Can't be too careful. And Ripper here can sniff out a psycho at 10 paces.
它一定不喜欢你的味道 朵莉丝
Oh, he doesn't like the smell of you, Doris.
你不是性变♥态♥吧
You're not a sex pervert, are ya?
不是啊
No!
那你坐在这儿黑不拉叽的干什么
Then what are you doing sitting out here in the dark, then?
你是老蕾丝边在找无轻女孩约炮啊
You some old lezzy on the prowl for young girls?
当然不是 我结婚了
Certainly not! I'm married!
证明一下啊
Prove it.
我有戴戒指啊
I have a ring.
切 是个人都可以给你个戒指
Anyone could've given you that.
说不定是另外一个蕾丝边给你的呢
Another lezzy could've given you that.
你可能是一个伪装成
You could be the head of a coven of lezzies
已婚黄脸婆的蕾丝边啊 天啊
masquerading as old married women. Jesus!
莱泼 它们在后面
Ripper, they're in the back!
不 他们是我的孩子 别伤害他们
No! Oh, no! Not my girls, don't hurt them!
他们是什么
What are they?
他们是我的娃娃 为了比赛做的
They're dolls! I make them for competitions,
很贵的啦 求你了
they're very expensive, now, please!
请快点让狗放开那些娃娃
Just get your dog off!
莱泼 放开他们
Ripper, get off them!
真扯啊 我以为它们是奇怪的矮人 而你是他们的头目呢
Oh, spun out! I thought they was wee dwarves and you was their leader.
我的娃娃得过奖呢
I've won prizes for my dolls.
天啊 我看到的这是什么呀
God, look at them staring!
把他们盖上 我都要吓死了
Cover them up, I'm gonna freak out!
你剪了珍的头发做了它们中的一个是吗
You skinned Jane for one of them, didn't you?
你亲外甥女啊 就为了你能得奖
Your own niece, so you could win prizes.
我有雪莉的许可
I had Shirley's permission.
雪莉说你可以割掉她女儿的头发
Oh, Shirley said you could chop off her daughter's hair
接到一个秃头娃娃上吗
and put it on some bald doll?
你怎么认识雪莉的
How do you know Shirley?
她在哪儿 你对她干了什么
Where is she? What have you done with her?
她在卧龙岗啊
She's in Wollongong.
是吗
Oh.
她原来去过卧龙岗不是吗
Been to Wollongong before, has she?
是啊
Yeah.
我在这边经常听到雪莉的事呢
I've been hearing a lot about Shirley around here.
没什么好事
None of it flattering.
说起来她像一个极品奇葩主妇
Sounds like she was a shocking housekeeper
但却为她的女儿的事操心
but thought the world of her daughters.
对吧
That right?
在家庭情感和家务之间挣扎很难呢
It's hard to juggle a home and a family.
我是说我知道我自己也有两个孩子
I should know, I have two children myself.
你有吗
Do you?
我承认有的孩子比较让人放心
Some children are less trouble than others, I reckon.
我很幸运我的孩子天生就爱干净