造人计划

Katie, please let me in.
来接我一下
Hey, I need you to come pick me up.
小兄弟 你还好吗
Hey, little bro, how you doin'?
简直不能更好
Yeah, never been better.
看着确实不赖
Yeah, looks like it.
你怎么没穿短裤
You're supposed to be wearin' boxers.
无所谓了
It doesn't matter anymore.
打乒乓球吗
Hey, wanna play some ping pong?
不了不了
No, no, I'm good.
那个
Uh... Listen,
我跟玛利亚有客人 是公♥司♥的财务总监
Maria and I have some people comin' over, new CFO from work.
你能不能进屋来先洗洗
Love to get ya to come inside and clean ya up a little bit.
你嫌我丢人了
You're ashamed of me.
没有 怎么会呢
I could never be ashamed of you, Bro,
是玛利亚嫌你丢人 不过没关系
Maria is ashamed of you, but you're fine.
戈登 让他把裤子穿上
Gordon, tell him to put his pants on.
别说了 我都嫌自己丢人
Well, I'm ashamed of myself.
我说了一些无可挽回的话
I said things that cannot be unsaid.
不会的 只要你想 一定可以挽回
That's not true, everything can be unsaid.
-这话说得跟放屁一样 -我知道
- That doesn't make any sense. - I know.
进来洗洗干净好吗
Why don't we get you inside and clean you up.
-戈登 快点 -我已经在叫了
- Gordon, now! - I'm bringing him inside!
对不起哥们 我一会就来陪你
Sorry. I'll be right down.
好吧 记得拿拍子
All right, bring your paddle.
咱们打会儿乒乓球
We'll play some ping pong.
我准备了小玉米
So I put baby corn,
小萝卜 小桃子 小番茄
baby carrots, baby peaches,
他说 这是我吃过的最奇怪的
baby potatoes and he was like, "This is the strangest dinner
一顿晚餐了 我说 亲爱的
I've ever had," and I said, "Darling,
我有话跟你说
I have something to tell you..."
这是 怎么回事
What's, uh, what's all this?
我怀孕了
Oh, I'm pregnant.
我们都没特意备孕 自然而然就怀上了
We weren't even trying, it just happened.
你敢相信吗
Can you believe it?
去你♥妈♥的♥你个怀孕婊
Fuck you and your fucking fertile face!
你不替我开心吗 凯蒂
Aren't you happy for me, Katie.
我从来没有任何时刻
I have never been more happy
能比现在这一刻更开心
than I am in this moment right now.
真是太好了
It's so great.
如果是男孩 我们准备
If it's a boy we're thinking that
叫他布兰多 要是女孩 就叫塔尔科
we're gonna name him Brendo and if it's a girl, Talc.
可爱死了
So cute. Yeah.
塔尔科 是滑石粉的那个塔尔科吗
Talc, like the powder Talc, like Talc powder?
拼法是一样的
Um, it's spelled the same way,
但是在葡萄牙语里 塔尔科的意思是歌♥声
but it actually means song in Portuguese, I think.
是嘛
Oh.
我不是来吵架的
I don't wanna fight.
来的不是时候 老妈
Bad timing, Mom.
约翰ny都跟我说了
Johnny told me what happened.
是吗 你说得对 我就
Yeah, well, you were right, I'm not...
我就不配怀孩子
I'm not meant to have kids.
不 对不起我那么说你
No, I'm sorry I said that.
我只希望你能明白 亲爱的
I just, I want you to know, honey,
你现在经历的痛苦
that I really do understand the pain
我都感同身受
that you're going through.
你不可能明白我的感受
No, you don't know how I feel.
-你不懂 -我懂 凯蒂
- You have no idea. - Yeah, I do, Katie.
跟你♥爸♥爸结婚以后 我们一直都在备孕
I mean, after Dad and I got married we tried forever.
折腾了好几年才怀上你
I mean, God, it was years to get pregnant.
那不是因为爸爸想等几年
Right, but that was different because dad wanted
等他退伍了再要孩子吗
to wait till he was out of the service to have kids.
这不过是他跟别人的说辞
No, no, that is what we told people,
不是真的
but it wasn't the truth, okay?
我们试了好多年才怀上你
We tried for years before you came along
真的很难
and it was really hard.
我们几乎要崩溃了
I mean, it tore us apart.
妈妈 我不知道该怎么办
Oh, Mom, I don't know what to do.
我不想这样
I don't wanna feel like this.
我知道 小可怜
I know, I'm sorry.
妈妈爱你 会永远陪在你身边的
You know, I love you so much and I'll always be here.
-你踢不踢了 -我热热身
- Are you gonna kick it? - No, just warmin' up.
-还踢吗 -不踢
- You are gonna kick it? - Nope.
你要是够不着这里 我就再往低一点
You can't get higher than here, so I gotta put it down--
我不踢
I'm not kickin' it, man.
戈登 你们干什么呢
Gordon, stop, what are you doing?
玛利亚 你带手♥机♥没
Oh hey, Maria, if you got your camera phone,
见证一下我击碎这块板子的时刻
you're just in time to watch me break this board.
-你的手会断的 -我又不用拳头
- You're gonna break your hand. - I'm not gonna punch it.
不是要用拳头砸 这块板子太厚了
He's not gonna punch it, it's way too thick to punch.
没错 我是要用头撞 铁头功
Yeah, I'm gonna use my forehead. Titanium.
-没错 铁头功 -不行不行
- Yeah, his forehead. - No, no, no,
别天天想着搞死你自己了好吗 傻♥逼♥
stop trying to kill yourself, you dumbass.
听我说 你是个好爸爸 好丈夫
Listen to me, you're a great dad, you're a great husband.
你有三个健康的孩子 一个爱你的妻子
You have three healthy kids, a great wife that loves you.
你拥有男人所能要求的一切
You have everything a man could ever ask for,
你却不好好珍惜
and you're taking it for granted.
玛利亚 我明白你说的
Maria, I hear what you're saying.
你是好妻子 好妈妈 孩子们都爱你
You're an amazing wife, a wonderful mother, kids love you,
我对他们的爱 对你的爱 至死不渝
I love them to death, I love you to death,
所以我需要你现在从我面前闪开
which is why I need you to move out of the way
别挡着我用铁头功砸开这块板子
and let me break this board with my face.
好了 等一下 等一下
Okay, all right, wait, wait, wait.
要我不拦着你也行
If I let you do that,
你得把那辆傻了吧唧的自行车退掉
will you take back that stupid bike?
好 成交
Okay, fine.
如果你们不想让我骑自行车 无所谓
If you guys don't want me to have bike, I don't care.
但这件事 我一定要做
I'm doin' this.
来吧
Go for it.
怎么样 牛逼吧
That's what I'm talkin' about.
怎么样 就跟你说了我能行吧
Ha ha, told you I could do it.
现在是谁看起来比较傻呢 反正不是我
Who looks stupid now? Not me.
-拿来 我给你换块冰 -好
- I'm gonna get you new ice. - Okay.
-约翰 你来点什么吗 -不用了谢谢
- John, you need anything? - No, I'm good thanks.
-我一会儿就走了 -你要走吗
- I'm gonna take off pretty soon. - Oh, you're leaving?
是啊 我得回家了
Yeah, I gotta go home.
跪求凯蒂的原谅
Beg Katie for forgiveness.
这个主意不错
That's a good idea.
回见了兄弟
I'll see ya later, man.
那个
Hey, um...
我想找个合伙人
I'm lookin' for a partner.
商业头脑敏锐一点 能帮我让啤酒厂
Someone with a keen business sense, somebody that's gonna
起死回生的人
help me get this brewery off the ground.
你要是有合适的人 记得推荐给我
So, if you know anybody, can you let me know?
明白你的意思
I see where you're going.
我的确有合适的人选 他应该能来
Yeah, I think I do somebody and I think he's available.
太好了 让他给我回个电♥话♥ 好吗
Good, have him give me a call, all right?
-没问题 -还有
- I will do that. - And you know,
玛利亚说的没错 你是个幸运的人
Maria's right, you are a lucky guy.
你也不差
Makes two of us.
没错
All right.
我们都
We never, uh...
我们都没讨论过 科博拉这个名字
we never discussed... Cobra.
男孩叫这个名字应该挺酷的
Thought it'd be cool if a boy was named Cobra,
女孩也行
or a girl.
凯蒂 我真的很抱歉
Katie, I am so sorry.
我说的那些都是气头上的屁话
I did not mean any of those things I said.
-真的很抱歉 -我也是
- I am so sorry. - No, I didn't either.
我希望你明白
I want you to understand something.
就算我们跟孩子没有缘分 我也没关系
I'm okay if it doesn't happen for us.
-你不是真心的 -我是
- You don't mean that. - Yes, I do.
如果没有你 有没有孩子又有什么要紧