造人计划

体外受精
Ivf.
嗯 你的保险公♥司♥有让你
Huh, did your insurance company make you
在体外受精前先进行3次宫内人工授精吗
go through three rounds of IUI before the IVF?
-是啊 -我跟你说
- Yeah. - Because I'm tellin' you
我跟我妻子打了无数个电♥话♥
right now, my wife and I were on the phone for hours and hours,
我都想飞去哥斯达黎加
hell I was gonna fly down to Costa Rica,
找个孩子 放在盒子里
get a kid, put it in a box
然后带回来给她了
and then bring it back here.
这听起来很怪也不正确 但凡事
Which is weird and probably wrong but anything--
-警官 警官 - 让黛比开心
- Sir, sir, sir. - to keep Debbie happy.
-我不想失礼打断你 -啥
- I don't wanna be rude, - Huh?
但我未来孩子的生命就
but the life of my potential child
坐在你的仪表盘上 但如果我没有
is sitting on your dashboard and if I am not
在七分钟内到医院 我的孩子就没了
at the hospital in the next seven minutes all is lost.
呃 我有消息要告诉你
Well, son, I got some news for ya,
这里离医院15分钟路程
the hospital is 15 minutes away.
好吧 坐稳了
All right, hold on to your shit.
我五分钟内送你过去
I'll get you there in five.
谢谢 先生
Thank you, sir.
快 快 快 好吧
Yeah, yeah, okay.
哦 算了
Oh, come on.
让路 让我过去
Make way, comin' through.
嗨 嗨 我是约翰 凯利
Hi, hi, I'm John Kelly.
这是我的精♥液♥
This is my semen.
对不起 凯利先生 你太迟了
Sorry, Mr. Kelly, you're too late.
-啥 -嗯哼
- What? - Mm-hm.
错过了大约两分钟
Missed it by about two minutes.
不 不
No, no.
我只是开玩笑 你没迟到
I'm just kidding, you fine.
看看你的脸
Look at your face.
就像 哦
It was like, oh...
我妻子在哪里
Where's my wife?
哦 他们正在送她下楼
Oh, they puttin' her under right now.
我想和她在一起
I wanna be with her.
哦 好吧 但是你得在这儿等
Oh, well, you'll have to wait here.
医生做完后会和你一起出去
The doctor will be out with you when he's done.
不会太久的
It won't be too long.
约翰马丁
John.
医生 她怎么样 顺利吗
Doctor, how is she, is everything okay?
我们需要谈谈
We need to talk.
有什么问题吗
Is something wrong?
请坐
Have a seat.
我有一些不好的事情要告诉你
I have some hard things to tell you.
我会非常直接的告诉你
And I'm not gonna sugar coat it for ya.
怎么了 怎么了
What is it, what's the matter?
是关于你的淡啤酒
It's about your IPA.
什么
What?
我和妻子都非常喜欢
My wife and I had the pleasure of indulging
在你送过来的啤酒样品
in the beer sample you sent over,
-约翰 你真是个艺术家 -谢谢您
- You're truly an artist, John. - Thank you,
-但凯蒂 -我一般不喜欢小麦啤
- But how's Katie? - I don't normally enjoy a wheat beer,
但啤酒配苹果脆真的让人满足
but that Hefeweizen was a true delight, it was apple crisp.
太好了 凯蒂怎么样了
That's wonderful, but how is Katie.
-我说手术 她没事吧 -非常顺利
- The surgery, is she okay? - Oh, that couldn't have gone smoother.
-和以前一样强壮有活力 -谢天谢地
- She's vibrant and strong as ever. - Oh, thank god.
希望我也能这么说你的印度啤酒
Wish I could say the same about your India Pale Ale.
我认为它还是保守了一点
It lacked the customary boldness I've come to expect in an IPA.
疲软得像小猫的叫声一样
Weak as a kitten's meow.
我会注意的
Noted.
不过 凯蒂的卵已经送去受精
Anyway, Katie's eggs have been sent to the lab for fertilization.
一旦他们准备好了 我们就把她带回来
Once they're ready, we'll bring her back in,
把它们植入她的子♥宫♥
implant them in her uterus.
应该不超过几天
Shouldn't take more than a couple days.
同时 你应该考虑
In the meantime, you should consider
使用更多的啤酒花油
using a more potent hop oil.
法律规定
There's-there's laws that...
我不用啤酒花油
I don't use a hop oil.
加上啤酒花 让味道迸发 宝贝
Add that hop, make it pop, baby.
告诉我点好消息
Tell me something good.
凯蒂 我们准备好了
Katie, we're ready for ya.
约翰 你去外面等把
John, why don't you wait outside?
不 我想和凯蒂在一起
No, I wanna stay with Katie.
不会太久的 请坐在大厅里
It won't be long. Have a seat in the lobby.
医生 我不会离开凯蒂身边的
Doctor, I'm not gonna leave Katie's side.
我要和她在一起
I'm gonna stay with her.
很好 凯利先生
Very well, Mr. Kelly.
穿上你的手术服
Put your gown on.
好的 给你
Okay, there you go.
我们还要多久才能得到结果
How long till we get the results.
就几分钟
Just a couple of minutes.
医生会在他的办公室告诉你的
The doctor will tell you in his office.
祈祷好运把
Fingers crossed.
谢谢
Thanks.
从我们离开了雷姆斯的办公室
You haven't really said anything
到现在你一句话还没说呢
since we left Remis's office.
尝尝吧
Taste it.
哦 天哪 太好了
Oh, my God, that is so good.
你做到了
You did it.
西海岸风格的淡啤酒 人人都爱的口味
A west coast IPA, it's what everybody likes.
我得承认 这很好
And I gotta admit, it's pretty good.
你应该感到骄傲
You should be really proud.
你很努力
You worked hard.
我们应该庆祝一下
We should celebrate.
-我们可以继续省钱 -哦 天哪
- We can save more money. - Oh, God,
我现在不想谈这个
I don't wanna talk about that now.
好吧 你很难过
Okay, you're upset.
不 我不难过
No, I'm not upset.
我只是 我只是 很失望
I'm just-- I'm just... I'm disappointed.
对我吗
Well, in me?
不是你 是这一摊子烂事
No, not in you, in the situation.
-这话什么意思 -我刚刚
- What does that mean? - Look, I just had
失去了我这么多年以来
everything taken away from me that I've been working for
为之奋斗的一切
for all these years,
我还不能沮丧一下了嘛
I think I'm allowed to be disappointed, right?
所以怪我咯 你觉得都是我的错吗
And it's my fault, you think it's my fault?
当初又不是我想搞这个的
I didn't wanna do this.
我根本就没想把我们的钱都投进来
I didn't wanna take all of our money and put it...
不说了
Whatever.
-就这样吧 我不干了 -不行
- You know what, fuck it, okay? - No, no, you can't do this.
这是我们的选择 我们共同的选择
Because we both chose, we both chose this.
你说得对 一点都没错
Okay, you're right, you're absolutely right,
我也想要孩子 真心的 可我没想到
and I want to have kids, I do, but I didn't know
要小孩意味着不能和你上♥床♥
that having babies with you meant not having sex with you.
意味着我要在
Or it meant getting hand jobs
特伦特·雷泽诺的犯罪现场里打手♥枪♥
in Trent Reznor's kill room
吃墨斯卡灵 被抓到局子里
or taking Mescaline or getting fucking arrested.
墨斯卡灵 致幻剂
你说的这些我一个字都不相信
No, I don't believe any of this, because you know what?
因为你从来没有在乎过这一切
You actually never cared about having this
-扯淡 -你在乎的就只有
- That's bullshit. - All you cared about,
你现在还想让我也跟着你一蹶不振
now you're trying to make me feel like shit.
是是是 你开心就好
Okay, you keep tellin' yourself that.
我说的不对吗 我一直一步一步拖着你
It's true, I have had to drag you through every step
现在你还想把你这垃圾啤酒厂的屎盆子
of this and now you're just using your dumb brewery
往我头上扣 怪我吗
as something to make me, I don't know, somehow I'm wrong now.
我现在觉得 这一切发生的真是时候
You know what, I'm really happy that this all happened
让我有机会能看清楚
because I learned something about myself.
看清什么 你酿的啤酒像尿一样吗
What, that you're a shitty fucking beer maker?
是我不能跟生不出孩子的女人在一起
No, that I can't be with a woman who can't have kids.
妈的
Shit.
凯蒂 让我进去吧