斧头狂魔（2014）

看看这诱人的煎饼
Look at those flapjacks.
注意礼貌 Kellenberger 先生
Have decorum, Mr. Kellenberger.
我们在去教堂露营的路上
We are on our way to church camp.
主啊 感谢您赐予我们这么丰盛的煎饼
Lord, I thank Thee for this awesome bounty of flapjacks.
好多了
Much better.
她是哪里人
Where is she from?
有人知道吗
Does anybody know?
我不知道
I don't know.
来自附近 某个地方
From around, somewhere.
我想知道她是否来自单亲家庭
I wonder if she comes from a single-parent home.
到时候你们俩可有得聊了
You two would have a lot to talk about then.
对吧 杰奎琳
Right, Jacqueline?
你去问问怎么样
How about you go find out?
如果你♥他♥妈♥的闭嘴 也许我会的
Maybe I will if you shut the fuck up.
别这样 丹妮尔
Please don't, Danielle.
你好
Hi, there.
哦 嗨
Oh, hi.
我是 Danielle
I'm Danielle.
我是 Faith
I'm Faith.
我知道
I know.
如果可以的话 我真的很想和你谈谈
Look, I-I really wanted to talk to you about something, if that's all right.
当然
Sure.
好吧
Okay, well...
我希望你记住 我说这些的时候 心里充满了善意
I want you to remember that I'm saying this with all the kindness in my heart.
但是 呃..
But, uh...
自从你上了这趟车 你就一直在吸引男生的注意力
ever since you got on this bus you've
been attracting the wrong sort of attention.
你说什么
Excuse me?
亲爱的 你不觉得那件衬衫穿在你身上有点紧吗
Sweetie, don't you think that blouse is a little snug on you?
如果你想的话 我得提醒你一下
You know, if you want I can try and scare you up, uh --
你穿几号♥
what size are you?
特大号♥的
Extra large?
不用了 谢谢
Yeah, no thank you.
我很好
I'm good.
好吧 如果你改变主意了就告诉我
Okay, well, let me know if you change your mind.
我会的
Will do.
你还记得你的箴言吧
Oh, and-and you do remember your Proverbs, don't you?
美丽的姑娘不谨慎 如同猪鼻上的金戒指
Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful girl without discretion.
太对了
So true.
你当然还记得你的《俄比亚书》
And you of course remember your Book of Obadiah:
只能把平胸带到宴会上的女人是孤独的
Lonely is the woman who only has flat cakes to bring to the banquet.
再见
'Bye now.
太棒了
That was so awesome.
你很勇敢
Like you are so brave.
这不算什么 相信我
It was nothing, believe me.
我是杰奎琳
I'm Jacqueline.
我是 Faith
I'm Faith.
只是想让你知道那段经♥文♥不在《俄巴底亚书》里
Y-y -- um, just so you know, that verse is not in the Book of Obadiah.
哦 我知道
Oh, I know.
好吧
Okay.
你能来真是太好了
Um, well, it's really cool that you're here.
我..
I'm...
帮我跟她谈谈 兄弟
Talk to her for me, bro.
哥们 你自己跟她说
Dude, talk to her yourself.
杰夫 别这样
Jeff, come on.
帮我让她热热身 伙计
Just get her warmed up for me, man.
她已经很辣了
She's plenty warm.
去跟她打个招呼
Just go fuckin' talk to her and say hello.
我不能永远为你做这个 伙计
I can't do this for you forever, man.
好吧 算了 当我没问
- All right, never mind. Forget I asked.
别这样
Don't do that.
朋友
Friend.
-别这样 -朋友
- Don't do that. - Friend.
-别叫我... -朋友
- Don't call me -- - Friend.
-伙计 -朋友
- Dude. - Friend.
-我是你的朋友 -最好的朋友
- I am your friend. - Best friend.
去你的 伙计
Oh, fuck you, dude.
真的吗
Really?
你觉得我会永远做你的僚机吗
You think I'm going to be your wing man forever?
你打算什么时候飞
When are you going to fly?
你什么时候飞 -我每天都在飞
When do you fly? - I fly every day.
-让我看看你的翅膀 -不 别这样
- But let me see those wings. - No. Stop.
让我看看你的翅膀
Let me see those wings.
-飞 -我在飞
- Fly. - I am flying.
-飞吧 飞吧 -我在飞
- Fly. Fly. - I'm flying.
那就飞吧
Then fuckin' fly.
好了 滚下来
All right, get off my ass --
耶稣对摩西说
uh, said Jesus to Moses, um --
没错
That's right.
当摩西试图爬上耶稣的..
when Moses tried to climb aboard Jesus's --
驴
Donkey.
-驴 -没错
- -- donkey -- - Yep. Mm-hmm.
在他喝了太多酒之后
after, um, he drank too many natty ice --
是的
Yes.
捣蛋鬼
pounders.
阿门 兄弟
Amen, brother.
对不起
Sorry.
进展不错
That went well.
是啊 我觉得挺好的
Yeah, I think that was good.
嘿 伙计们
Hey, gang.
好吧
All right.
让我们试着平静下来
Let's try to settle down.
我们来做五次深呼吸怎么样
How about we try five deep breaths?
我先来
I'm going to go first.
闭嘴
SHUT UP!
好吧
All right.
我知道今年有很多新面孔 所以我们要谈谈规则
Well, I know that we have a lot of new faces
this year, so we're going to get to the rules.
但首先让我们做一些介绍
But first let's do some introductions.
我是营地主管 道格
I'm the camp director, Doug...
道格
Doug.
我很高兴今年能与你们一起工作
And I am so excited to be working with you this year to ensure that our campers
以确保我们的营员在离开好朋
友教会营地时 能被他可怕的信息所改变
are going to leave Good Friends Church Camp transformed by His awesome message.
阿门
Amen.
你们是一个特殊的团体 所以
我为你们准备了一些特别的东西
You guys are a special group, so I have something special for you.
看到这个了吗
See this?
是个罐子 一个罐子
It's a jar, a jar.
但里面什么都没有
But there's nothing in it.
但是如果你做了一些好事
But if you do something good, like following the rules or showing
比如遵守规则或者表现出强有
力的领导能力 我会把一个弹珠放进罐子里
strong leadership, I am going to take a marble and put it in the jar.
如果你做错了什么 比如不遵守规则
Now, if we have a situation where you do
something wrong, like not following the rules...
弹珠就要出来了
the marble is going to come out.
哦 不
Oh, no.
我们该怎么办
What do we do?
我稍后再跟你解释 考特尼
I'll explain it later to you, Courtney.
现在 在周末 如果我们有一
个装满弹珠的罐子 你猜怎么着
Now, at the end of the week if we have a jar full of marbles, guess what?
我们就开个披萨派对
We're going to have a pizza party.
人人都爱披萨 对吧
Everybody loves pizza, right?
兴奋吗
Excited?
听起来像同性恋
Sounds fucking gay.
好极了
Nailed it.
我是说..
I mean ...
披萨派对
pizza party?
太棒了
Awesome.
Kellenberger 先生 是吗
Mr. Kellenberger, is it?
我想让你知道 在好朋友教会营地
I would like to let you know that there is nothing gay nor
没有任何同性恋 也没有同性恋或任何形式的偏差
homosexual or deviant of any kind at Good Friends Church Camp.
例如 规则一:
For example, rule number one:
不准打飞机