蠢蛋进化论

啊 该死 他太大了 是吧
Oh, shit. I think it was too big, huh?
似乎 发生了点...
We seem to be 'experimenting'...
技术上的问题...
some 'techmological'differences...
所以 呃 妈的
so, uh, shit.
弗里托 看那
Frito, look!
-到处都发芽了 -哈
-It's working everywhere! -Huh.
该死 那一大堆石头
Well, shit. That's a big pile of rocks.
-似乎让我想起有一次我...-可恶
-Kinda reminds me of this one time that I was--Man.
-嘿 -哦 哦 好的
-Hey! -Oh, oh, okay.
-快他妈的开始 -即使没有至高毕夫我们也要开始了
-Get this shit started! -We're gonna start without Beef Supreme.
再改造开始
Let the rehabilitation beginI
可恶
Oh, shit.
快点 快点
Come on. Come on.
走吧 弗里托 赶快
Come on, Frito. HurryI
该死的
Goddamn it.
-耶 -天哪 真悬
-Yeah! -Jesus, that was close.
总统先生 总统先生 我得跟你谈谈
Mr. President! Mr. President, I need to talk to you.
你得让他们赶快停止 他关于水的理论是对的
You gotta stop this thing. He was right about the water.
我们来这的路上看到许多庄稼 它们开始生长了
We passed some crops on the way here. They're growing.
我没看见什么庄稼
I didn't see no crops.
他们正在包围他
They're circling around.
他们准备从他身上碾过去
They're gonna do the Malachi Crunch on himI
-这是违法行为 知道吗 所以不要声张 -啊
-This is an illegal move, okay? So don't tell nobody. -Oh!
那么 呃...最终获胜的是 呃
So, uh-So the winner is, uh-
-简直是在开玩笑 -他赢了吗
You gotta be shittin'me. -Did he win?
呃...啊 看那
Uh-oh. Look.
难以置信 是至高毕夫
Holy shitI It's Beef SupremeI
至高毕夫 耶 是他
Beef SupremeI YeahI YeahI
嘿 弗里托 弗里托你还记得 我们在路边的...
Hey, Frito. Frito, you remember those crops we saw off the road...
-星巴客旁边看到的那些庄稼吗 -恩
-right by the Starbucks? -Uh-huh.
-嘿 想挣点外快吗 -我喜欢钱
-Hey. Wanna make some money? -I like money.
嘿 恩 大...呃...大屏幕 出故障了...
Hey, um, the, uh-the main screen is malfunctioning...
他们让你现在去一趟
and they gonna need you outside immediately.
过道里有一大群妓♥女♥
There's a bunch of whores in the hallway.
快 弗里托 赶快
Come on, Frito. Hurry.
真不敢相信你也喜欢钱
Can't believe you like money too.
-我们应该成为朋友 -没错
-We should hang out. -Totally.
他在卡车后面
He's behind the truckI
对 对
Yes! Yes!
-他在那个该死的卡车后面 -他在那
-He's behind the fucking truck! -He's over there!
卡车后面 傻子
Behind the truck, stupidI
看那
Look!
"男士咖啡屋 五折优♥惠♥" 妈的 真便宜
Shit. That's a good deal.
-小插曲 -我也有一大♥比♥钱
Extra foam. -I got a bunch of money too.
-忘了是干什么用的了 -哈
-Forgot what it was for. -Huh.
-你觉得是喝咖啡用的吗 -可能是吧
-You think it was for lattes? -Yeah. Probably.
-你喜欢钱和性吗 你请客 -究竟在干什么
You like money and sex? You're trippin'me out. -What the fuck?
-对 -对
-Yeah! -Yeah!
等一下 大家都放松点 好吗
Just hold on, okay? Everyone just take it easy, okay?
我能说两句吗
Can I just say something here?
我都不知道我到底犯了什么罪
I don't even know what I'm guilty of here.
我从没说过我是世界上最聪明的人 是你们说的
I never said that I was the smartest person on earth. You people did.
我并不知道你们会失业和破产...
I didn't know that you'd lose your jobs and all your money...
而我对于这种结果感到非常的遗憾
and I'm very sorry that that happened.
但是我跟你们说...
But I'm tellin'you...
如果你们用水浇灌庄稼 可能真的会...
if you put water on the crops, it might actually-
不 应该是一定会有用 我向你们保证
No, it will work. I promise you!
你们只需要相信我就行了 我只是想帮你们 仅此而已
You just have to believe me. I just wanted to help you. That's all.
所以你们可以开枪打我
So you can try and shoot me.
你们也可以用车碾我 随便你们
You can try and run me over, whatever.
但我希望你们先问自己一个问题
But I just want you to ask yourselves one question first.
你们真的愿意生活在一个...
Do you really want to live in a world...
人们只懂得恩将仇报的世界里吗
where you try to blow up the one person that's tryin' to help you?
等等 再等一下
Hold on.Just hold on.
哥们 刚才感觉真棒
Oh, man. That was great.
嘿 我们进去时我穿裤子了吗
Hey, was I wearing pants when we went in there?
该死 我看起来像裤子精灵吗
Shit. What do I look like, a pants goblin?
等一下 这个让我想起了什么
Wait. This reminds me of something.
星期一晚上再改造场 男人的盛宴
呃 再...再改造
Uh, 'Rehabil-Rehabilate-
-再改造惩罚 -你为什么老是读那个词
-Rehabilation.'-Why do you keep trying to read that word?
-你晕了吗 -我要让你晕
-You a fag? -I'll fag your face!
-快点 弗里托 -好的 就是这样
-Come on, Frito. -Yeah. I don't think so.
啊 对了
Oh, yeah.
这家伙被赦免了
This guy just got his ass a pardon!
耶
Yeah!
那个 丽塔 我是说 我不知道该说什么
Man, Rita. I mean, I don't know what to say.
你救了我一命 从没人这么对待过我
You saved my life. No one's ever done anything like that for me.
是啊 那个...
Yeah, well...
你在为全世界做事 所以 你知道的...
you were looking out for the whole world so, you know...
-我觉得也应该有人为你做点事 -谢谢
-I thought someone should look out for you too. -Thanks.
我都不能相信我自己会这么说 但是...
I can't believe I'm even saying this, but...
虽然知道这些人曾经想要我的命...
even though these people tried to kill me...
-知道吗 我想我还是会想念他们的 -是啊
-you know, I think I'm actually gonna kinda miss 'em. -Yeah.
弗里托会带我们去时间机器那
Frito-he's gonna give us a ride back to the time machine.
我只是 呃...我希望他还能开车
I just, uh-I hope he's okay to drive.
是你啊 啊 伙计 我真的很喜欢你的表演
It's you. Oh, man, I really love your show.
非常感谢
Thank you so much.
-啊 乔 我不走了 -什么
-Uh,Joe, I'm not going. -What?
我过去有些非常不好的习惯
I had some pretty bad habits back there
我不想再变成那样了
that I don't want to fall into again.
可能是时候从新开始了
Maybe it's time I got a new start.
此外 他们在星巴客给我找了 一份非常不错的工作
Besides, they offered me a pretty good job at Starbucks here.
-我就要变成首席执行官了 -在星巴客
-I'm gonna be a C.E.O. -At Starbucks?
-对 -是么 但你还会继续画画吧
-Yeah. -Yeah? You're still gonna paint though, right?
对 当然
Yeah. Sure.
我想这就意味着我们要说再见了
I guess this is good-bye then.
嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿
Hey, hey, hey, heyI
我要宣布几项总统的法令
I got a couple presidential decrees to make!
我要宣布几项总统的法令
I got a couple presidential decrees to make!
"不确定" 不管你在哪 赶快给我滚过来
Not Sure, get your ass up here, wherever you is.
我要把这个小花生头弄上来
Let me get that little peanut head up here.
嘿 嘿
Yo. Yo.
我决定...
I have decided...
让这个人...
to make this man-
这个解决了我们所有问题的人...
the man who solved all our problems-
我决定让他当...
I have decided to make him...
我新任副总统
my new vice president.
总统先生 谢谢 你对我真是太好了 先生...
Mr. President, thanks. That's real cool of you, sir...
-但是先生 我不能接受 -什么 为什么
-but I can't accept it, sir. -What? Why?
要知道 我得回家了
You know, I gotta get home.
但我们还有这么多问题有待解决呢
But we still got all these problems.
瞧 要知道 你们必须自己去 解决他们
Look, you know, you're just gonna have to solve 'em yourselves.
-怎么解决 -开动脑筋
-How? -Think about it, you know?
你们必须想出对策来 就像我们对待庄稼问题时那样
You're just gonna have to figure it out like we did with the crops.
但我们如何解决垃圾和经济的问题
But how are we gonna figure out about the garbage 'ambulanches'and the 'comony'?
还有佛罗里达州的核...核反应堆问题
And what about the nuc-'nucular'reactor in Florida?
它泄漏了并发生了事故
It's broke and leaky and something's happening.
我记得是在乔治亚州
I thought it was in Georgia.
乔治亚在佛罗里达州内 傻子
Georgia's in Florida, dumb ass.
嘿 嘿 我知道了 咱们用厕所的水去浇它 对吧
Hey. Hey, I know. Let's put toilet water on it. Huh?
-对 -好 很好 真是个好主意
-Yeah! -Good, good. That's a good idea.
-就像我们解决庄稼问题时那样 -来吧 伙计
Like we did on the crops. -Come on, vato.
嘿 你不能走
Hey, you can't leave.
你还继续说那些"领路或是跟着
Whatever happened to all that 'lead, follow,
或者滚出去"什么的 好吗
or get outta the way'shit, huh?
我想我不能再置身事外了 对吧 知道吗
I guess I just can't get outta the way anymore, can I? You know what?
-忘了时间机器吧 -耶
-Forget about the time machine. -Yeah!
而且那个电动车感觉糟透了
That ride sucks anyways.
电动车
Ride?
欢迎乘坐时间机器