糟糕历史：逍遥音乐节专场（2011）

然后就去世了
and then dies.
是被妒忌他才华的同行萨列里害死的
Killed by rival composer Salieri in a jealous rage.
也许并非如此 没人知道
Or possibly not, no-one really knows.
但我们确实知道
But we do know that
虽然莫扎特在乐坛上名声大噪
while Mozart made a big noise in the music world,
但名声还是不如贝多芬的响
it wasn't as big a noise as Beethoven.
他部分由于自己耳聋的原因
Who, partly because he's deaf,
扩大了管弦乐团的规模 使其声音更为响亮
makes the orchestra bigger and louder than before.
也就是说 浪漫主义时期开始时
Which means, as we enter the Romantic period,
有些管弦乐团内已经有多达百余件乐器
some orchestras have swollen to a whopping 100 pieces,
乐团庞大笨重 没有冒犯你们的意思
which is so big and unwieldy - no offence -
这时就需要有人让他们协调配合
that they need someone to keep them all in time.
于是指挥就出现了
So conductors appear -
你好 不久之后
hello - and in no time at all,
指挥本人的名气就盖过了乐团
becomes bigger and more famous than the orchestra themselves.
差不多就行了 别抢戏
All right, mate. Don't build your part.
随着一切的扩大化 包括某人的虚荣心
With everything getting bigger, including somebody's ego,
演出场地也要随之扩大
the venues have to get bigger too.
再见 皇宫
So it's goodbye to royal palaces
你好 宽敞的新音乐厅
and hello to enormous new concert halls.
在音乐厅内 现代音乐疯狂发展
And in these huge halls, modern music goes absolutely crazy!
现在 我希望在座的各位也疯狂起来
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like you to go crazy.
因为在我这部分的结尾
As, for my big finale,
要献给大家我最爱的现代音乐杰作
I present my favourite modern musical masterpiece,
仅为在座的你呈现
played with aplomb for you, and you only,
演出者是独一无二
by the one, the only,
饱经沧桑 激动人心
time-straddling, foot-pumping,
声势浩大的管弦乐团
heart-pumping, hit-making orchestra
开始吧
Take it away, guys!
鲍勃
Bob!
鲍勃 鲍勃 鲍勃
Bob! Bob, Bob...
我什么都听不到
I can't hear anything.
当然听不到
Of course you can't.
这是约翰·凯奇的传世名作《4分33秒》
This is John Cage's classic Four Minutes And 33 Seconds -
四分半钟 一点声音都没有
four and a half of absolute silence.
你喜欢这个吗
And you enjoy that?
等等 这段最精彩了
Wait, this is the best bit!
棒极了
Aw, so good.
多谢乐团 感谢在座的各位
Thank you, boys, thank you for listening.
画面交还给你 萨姆
And back to you, Sam!
看起来 我们所熟知的管弦乐团
So, it seems that the orchestra as we know it,
诞生于中世纪
began life in Medieval times,
-和鲍勃差不多 -我听见了
- which is around the same time as Bob. - I heard that!
就是说给你听的
And you were meant to.
下一时段的《糟糕新闻》
Coming up next in HHTV News,
将带您直击中世纪 等一下
we go over to the Medieval era for.. Oh, no, wait...
我这边有爆♥炸♥性新闻
I have some breaking news.
上面通知我不能开始中世纪的部分
It seems I'm being told I'm not allowed to start yet,
因为有几位乔治时期的国王想要先唱
because some Georgian kings want to be allowed to sing first.
现在就带大家亲临现场
So, I will hand you over now, live,
欢迎乔治王 乔治王 乔治王和乔治王
to Kings George, George, George and George,
为我们讲述四位乔治王的故事
for the story of The Four Georges.
英格兰成我领土 只因我是新教♥徒♥*
*I took the throne of England just cos I was protestant
德国王子英语糟*
*A German prince whose English stank
乔治一世就是吾*
*King George number one
喜欢争论很明显*
*I like to argue, now that's clear
尤其父王坐这边*
*especially with my father, here
在我死于腹泻前*
*Before I died of diarrhoea
我儿跟我也在辩*
*I fought with my son
打破纪录 专业做王六十年*
*I broke records with my 60 year reign
压坏磅秤 身材肥硕美名传*
*And I broke the scales with my giant frame
生而为王统治你*
*Born to rule over you
乔治王四世 三世 一世 和二世*
*King George Four. Three. One. And Two
人人都要遵圣旨*
*You had to do what we told you to
血统高贵掌权势*
*Just because our blood was blue
健壮美男人人爱*
*I was a hunk, girls adored me
迷倒众生享青睐*
*Ladies all swooned before me
为我愿做任何事*
*They would do anything for me
不从丧夫划不来*
*or I'd have their husbands killed
和小王子查理杀个痛快*
*Had a war with Prince Charles, Bonnie
大家都说我爱搞怪*
*Everyone said that I was f-f-funny
花钱就是我最爱*
*I spent everyone's money
我们的臣民不大开心*
*Our subjects were not thrilled
我很忧郁*
*I was the sad one
我很坏*
*And I was the bad one
我很疯癫*
*I was the mad one
我很胖*
*And I was the fat one
生而为王统治你*
*We were born to rule over you
乔治一世 三世 四世 和二世*
*Georges One. Three. Four. And two
英王 尽管德国裔*
*England's kings, though we were German, too
他 然后是他 然后是我*
*Him. Then him. Then me
然后是你*
*Then you
生而*
*We were born...
为王统治你 统治你*
*Born to rule over you. All over you
吃果如厕死期至*
*Gorged on fruit then I died on the loo
被人憎恶 也厌世*
*People hated us and we hated them, too
生而为王统治你*
*Born to rule over you
生而为王统治你*
*Born to rule over you
我似袋鼠很疯癫*
*Me, I was as batty as a bonkers kangaroo
我在动物园更有归属感*
*Me, I would have been more at home in a zoo
我们的歌♥已唱完*
*Now, now our song is through, yeah
香蕉蕉
Banana.
没想到还要跟我老爸共享化妆间
Can't believe I have to share a dressing room with my dad.
就不能别把内♥裤♥到处乱丢吗
Must you leave your pants lying around?
这才不是我的内♥裤♥ 是你的
They're not my pants. They're yours.
瞧这尺寸就知道了
Look at the size of them!
-你块头比我大多了 -对 名气也比你大
- You're much bigger than me. - That's right, I am bigger than you.
别忘了这点 所以我才有独唱
Don't you forget it. That's why I have a solo and you don't.
-我什么时候上场 老爸 -早着呢
- What time am I on, Pops? - Oh, not for ages.
先有一段代表中世纪的音乐
First, we have music to represent the Middle Ages,
圣桑的《骷髅之舞》 主题是死亡
Danse Macabre by Saint-Saens. It's all about death
里面还有被小提琴手起死回生的骷髅
and features skeletons being brought to life by a fiddler.
真不容易
Well, this is a rare treat -
我们之间竟然能正常交谈
us having an actual conversation,
而不是你一味地发痴
rather than you just being mad.
乐团成员是柠檬和小鸡
It's being played by an orchestra of lemons and chickens.
疯子老爹又回来了
And he's back.
[卡米尔·圣桑 - 《骷髅之舞》]
我还以为这场音乐会能逗我开心呢
I thought this concert was supposed to cheer me up,
弗特斯鸠
Fortescue.
演奏的居然是以死亡为主题的音乐
They're playing music about death.
我好想阿尔伯特
I miss Albert!
我得吃点东西 慰藉一下自己
I think I need more comfort food.
-给您买♥♥的爆米花呢 陛下 -吃完了
- What happened to the popcorn, Ma'am? - Oh, it's finished.
你该给我买♥♥个大份的 这份太小了
You should have bought me a large tub instead of this tiny one.
这可是两个人才搬得动的份量 陛下
It did take two of us to carry it, Ma'am.
下面是什么节目
Right, what's next?
理查三世
Oh, Richard III.
他于1483到1485年在位 才两年
He only reigned from 1483 to 1485, that's two years.
我可是在位了63年
I reigned for 63.
要是只在位两年的话
He shouldn't even be able to call himself a king
都不该管自己叫"国王"
if he only reigned for two years.
应该叫"国吾" 或者"国哇"
He should be called a... A kin. Or a ki.
您说什么就是什么 陛下
As you say, Ma'am.
看看理查"国哇"有什么要说的
Let's see what "Ki" Richard has to say for himself.
听说他是个下流坯
You know, I've heard he's a nasty piece of work.
说实话 有些人好像误会我了
Honestly, some people just seem to have the wrong idea about me.
他们都认为我是个凶残的驼背杀人狂
They all seem to think I'm this vicious, murdering hunchback.
是说出事实的时候了
Well, it's about time I set them straight.
我确信你们爱我 对此我深信不疑*
*I was sure that you'd love me To that hope I did cling
只因我乃理查三世 民爱君王合情合理*