糟糕历史：逍遥音乐节专场（2011）

我是《糟糕新闻》记者 麦克·皮博迪
This is Mike Peabody for HHTV News.
我曾在历史上最残酷的战区进行过报道
I've reported from some of the worst war zones in history,
但今天却注定是我一生中最为恐怖的一天
but today has to be one of THE most terrifying of my life.
没错 我在皇家阿尔伯特音乐厅前的红毯上
Yes, I'm at the red carpet at the Royal Albert Hall
为您报道逍遥音乐会《糟糕历史》专场
for the Horrible Histories Prom.
这里有维京人 有瘟疫患者
We've got Vikings, we've got plague victims,
有克里奥帕特拉 还有亨利八世 大家齐聚一堂
we've got Cleopatra and Henry VIII, all under the same roof.
现场一定极其惨烈
It's going to be absolute carnage.
我觉得我看到了... 没错 是查理二世
And I think I can see... Yes, it's Charles II.
-陛下 能采访您一下吗 -当然可以
- Your Majesty, may we have a quick word? - Ah, yes, of course.
怎么样了 派对在哪里
How's it going? Where's the party at?
其实今晚并不是什么派对 而是音乐会
I think it's going to be more of a concert than a party.
相信我 有我的地方 一定有派对
Trust me, wherever I am, there's a party!
维多利亚女王来了 真妖娆啊
Ooh, there's Queen Victoria, she's a fox -
而且自从丈夫去世后就恢复单身了
and single since the death of her husband.
单身是没错 但她一直在哀悼亡夫
Single, yes, but permanently in mourning.
无论如何
Whatever you do,
千万不要提起阿尔伯特亲王的名字
do not mention Albert.
了解
Good, yes.
陛下
Your Majesty.
女王陛下 欢迎来到皇家阿尔伯特音乐厅
Your Majesty, welcome to the Royal Albert Hall.
阿尔伯特
Albert?!
阿尔伯特
Albert!
真有你的 麦克 我本来有机会的
Good one, Mike. I was in there.
糟糕历史
逍遥音乐会专场
表演好像要开始了
Well, it looks like the show is about to start,
我要尽快入座 今晚一定会极度混乱
so I have to take my seat for what promises to be absolute chaos.
不敢相信我竟然迟到了
Oh, I can't believe I'm late!
身为老鼠 连叫计程车都那么难
It's very hard to get a taxi when you're a rat.
看来得按经典模式走了
I'm going to have to do this old-school.
不知道的还以为
You'd think
她此前从没见过厕所里钻出老鼠呢
she's never seen a rat come out of a toilet before!
我听到了施特劳斯的《查拉图斯特拉如是说》
Ooh, I can hear Also Sprach Zarathustra by Strauss.
一定是表演开始了
The show must be starting.
不好 表演开始了
Oh, the show must be starting!
[理查德·施特劳斯 - 《查拉图斯特拉如是说》引子]
恐怖都铎 华丽乔治*
*Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
卑劣斯图亚特 邪恶维多利亚*
*Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
悲惨战役 凶残争斗*
*Woeful wars, ferocious fights
昏暗古堡 英勇骑士*
*Dingy castles, daring knights
恐怖难以言表*
*Horrors that defy description
凶狠凯尔特 可怕古埃及*
*Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
凶残维京 冷血罪行 远古的惩罚*
*Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times
罗马人 堕落恶心又冷血*
*Romans, rotten, rank, and ruthless
穴居人 野蛮残酷不长牙*
*Caveman, savage, fierce and toothless
绝妙古希腊 聪明大圣人*
*Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
卑鄙又卑微 就是中世纪*
*Mean and measly Middle Ages
血腥故事无限多*
*Gory stories we do that
且听鼠君对你说*
*And your host a talking rat
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
欢迎收看*
*Welcome to
《糟糕历史》*
*Horrible Histories
大家好 欢迎收看《糟糕新闻》
Hello, and welcome to HHTV News.
今天的头条新闻是
The headlines today...
上千人齐聚皇家阿尔伯特音乐厅
Thousands gather at the Royal Albert Hall
观赏逍遥音乐会《糟糕历史》专场
for a special Horrible Histories Prom.
亨利八世和查理二世也亲临现场
Henry VIII and Charles II arrive
参加这场不寻常的皇家综艺演出
for this unusual Royal Variety Performance,
许多皇室人员将参与这场演出
in which a variety of royals will perform.
埃塞尔雷德二世国王
King Ethelred The Unready
完全忘记了音乐会的举办日期
totally forgets what day the concert's on.
今天的主要内容是一场特别的音乐会
Our lead story is the special concert
极光管弦乐团及其指挥尼克·科隆
in which the Aurora Orchestra and their conducted Nick Collon
将带领我们
are ready to guide us
领略音乐史上最优秀的作品
through the best bits of the history of music.
但在此之前 管弦乐的起源
But first, the origins of the orchestra
可谓一波三折
involve a tuneful tale full of twists and turns.
详细内容 请看本台记者鲍勃·黑尔
So here with a summary is Bob Hale,
带来的管弦乐报道 鲍勃
with the Orchestra Report. Bob.
多谢 非常感谢
Thank you! Thank you so much!
别别别 行了 行了 差不多了
No, no, no. Come on now, come on now. Enough, enough!
谢谢萨姆 也感谢在座的各位
Thank you, Sam, and thank you ladies and gentlemen.
据可靠来源透露 我身后是一支管弦乐团
Well, behind me, I am reliably informed, is an orchestra.
没错 就是他们
Yep, there they are.
一大群人共同演奏音乐
A big group of people all playing music together.
但他们是从哪来的呢
But where did they come from?
有人来自千里之外的吉尔福德
Some came from as far away as Guildford.
你好 西蒙
Hello, Simon!
但"管弦乐"这一概念来自更遥远的地方
But the concept of an orchestra comes form even further away.
这一概念可远溯至古希腊
In fact, it existed as far back as Ancient Greece -
不消说 那里是古希腊人的故乡
home, unsurprisingly, of the Ancient Greeks,
他们不仅造出了"管弦乐"这个词
who came up not only with the word "Orchestra",
还有史上第一个音阶
but with the first musical scales...
还有一些乐器
AND some instruments to play them on.
比如排箫
Things like the pan pipes...
打击乐
Percussion...
还有名为"里拉"的乐器
And something called a lyre...
[音同liar骗子]
虽然我觉得看上去挺可信的
though it looks pretty trustworthy to me!
管弦乐团逐渐成形
And just when we have something approaching an orchestra,
此时黑暗时代却降临了
along come the Dark Ages,
教会禁止了乐器 故事到此为止
the Church bans instruments and that's the end of that.
但没持续多久
But not for long!
中世纪时 乐团归来了
In the Medieval Era, groups make a comeback,
这次出现了许多名字诡异的乐器
this time with ridiculously-named instruments,
比如蛇状管
such as the serpent...
雷克管
the racket...
双簧弯管
the crumhorn...
还有萨克布号♥
and the sackbut.
[发音类似"布袋屁♥股♥
你刚刚吹的是萨克布号♥
You just blew down a sackbut!
如果这些乐器合奏的话 效果是这样的
And if you play them all together, they sound like this...
糟糕透顶
Absolutely awful.
大概就是因为这个
Which is probably why
现代管弦乐团中才没有这些乐器
modern orchestras don't use them any more.
但现代人用这个
But they do use this -
多谢 这就是乐谱
thank you very much - written music.
多亏文艺复兴时期印刷术的发明
Which, thanks to the invention of the printing press, during the Renaissance,
乐谱得以广泛地流传
can now be shared around.
还给你
There you go.
这就意味着我们能听到同样的乐曲了
Meaning we can all now "Get down" To the same "Banging tunes".
随着舞曲的流行 管弦乐团也逐渐发展起来
And as dance music's popularity grows, so does the orchestra,
其中加入了小号♥
as they add a trumpet.
就是这个 还有铃鼓
Oh, there it is! And a tambourine.
还有一批木管乐器
And a big bag of woodwind.
抱歉 部分原因在我 不该吃肉酱的...
Sorry, part of that was me. Shouldn't have had the Bolognese...
实际上 当巴洛克时代到来时
In fact, by the time we enter the so-called Baroque period,
有些管弦乐团已经有多达三十名的成员了
some orchestras have as many as 30 people in -
而且鼓也出现了
now including drums.
别这样
Don't do that!
随着巴洛克逐渐向古典主义时期过渡
Then as the Baroque period merges into the classical one,
拥有私人作曲家成了一件很酷的事情
having your own personal composer becomes the "In" Thing.
所有一流的作曲家
All the best composers
都受雇于欧洲的王室
are hired by the kings and queens of Europe,
这就意味着如果你不想为王室工作
meaning if you don't want to work for the royals,
那么基本上就处于进退两难的地步了
you're basically stuck between Baroque and a hard place!
[音似the rock and a hard place]
小段子 包袱甩得不错 鲍勃
Little joke there. Nice one, Bobsy.
说到"小" 莫扎特登上乐坛
And talking of little, along comes Mozart,
他两岁时就开始作曲了
who starts writing music at just two years old,
说明他是个天才 还超级爱现
proving he's a complete genius and a horrible show-off.
然后他长大了 写了一千多首曲子 发现了单簧管
Then he grows up, writes 1,000 tunes, discovers the clarinet...