蜜月

我可能是第一个做这个的
I guess I'm the first one to do this.
好吧 我不知道该不该说
Well, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say.
我是新媳妇儿了
I'm now a wife.
好吧 结婚录像
Okay, wedding video.
让我介绍一下都有什么好吃的东西
Let me introduce you to our delicious food.
我们这里有素食咖喱
We got veggie korma,
咖喱羊肉 萨莫萨三角饺
lamb curry, samosas.
我正坐在个帐篷似的地方
Oh, I am sitting inside a tent of sorts,
因为这个地方有点
because it is inside a tent
像你推荐的那个地方
similar to this one where you proposed.
因为我们的第一次约会
For our first date,
Bea选择了一个印度餐馆
Bea chose an Indian restaurant,
第六大道上那种小餐馆
you know, one of those little places on Sixth Street
点缀着五颜六色的霓虹灯
with the colored lights and the fiber-optic lamps.
除了吃了一半的时候
Yum, except that halfway through the meal,
我开始觉得胃里
I start feeling my stomach
翻江倒海了
gurgle in this horrible food-poisoning-type way,
我甚至没有时间向她撒谎
and I didn't even have time to lie to her.
我在那个脏兮兮的餐厅厕所里吐了20分钟
I spend 20 minutes in the dirty restaurant toilet
然后那个晚上其余的时间
and the rest of the night
都在Bea家里浴室的地板上
on Bea's bathroom floor,
因为我实在没劲儿去坐地铁了
because I couldn't make it to the subway, let alone Brooklyn.
我们一直计划着去露营好久了
Well, we'd been planning on going camping upstate for weeks,
但是 我病了
but, as you know, I got sick,
所以我们没法去了
so we couldn't go.
我觉得你很难过 因为你的举止变得很奇怪
I thought you were upset, because you were acting really weird,
但是然后你 你在床上用毯子
but then you... you built, like,
搭起来这个帐篷
this tent over our bed out of blankets,
还弄了个小炉子
and we made s'mores on the stove,
在这个小堡垒里 你说
and then inside the fort on our bed, you said,
Bea 这应该有点浪漫了
"Bea, this was supposed to be romantic"
在星光下 而不是床单下
"and under the stars, not sheets,"
但是你让我觉得无比幸福
"but you make me the happiest.
你愿意嫁给我吗
Will you marry me?"
所以现在我们结婚了
And now we're married.
所以这是
So this,
这是 去死吧 印度饭
this is our, "Fuck you, Indian food."
你想要拆散我们
You tried to keep us apart,
但是去你的
but fuck you.
我们赢了
We win.
所以我们没有弄一个传统的订婚蛋糕
So we didn't get a regular wedding cake.
我们决定来点儿特别的
We decided on something that was special for us instead.
-特别而且便宜 -什么
-Special and cheap. -What?
不 我觉得有些人因为没有蛋糕有点意见
No, I think some people are annoyed by no cake.
管他呢 这是我们的婚礼
Who cares? It's our wedding.
以前 我孤单一个人 现在不是了
Before, I was alone, but now I'm not.
我爱你 蜜蜂蜂
I love you, honeybee.
并不梦幻 怎么样
It's not fancy. Is it okay?
你喜欢吗
Do you like it?
我所看到的
Here's what I see...
不是城市
not the city,
树林
woods.
我只是想要完美一些
I just want it to be perfect.
我只是想要和你在一起
And I just want to be with you.
好吧 来吧
All right, come on.
所以这就是著名的家族小院
So this is the famous family cottage.
等等 等等 别那么猴急 行不
Wait, wait, wait. Not so fast, okay?
什么 什么
What? What? What? What?
先介绍一下环境
First, the grand tour.
这里是客厅 注意脚下
So this is the living room. Watch your step.
你可能注意那个小斜坡
You may notice a slight tilt.
这可不怎么安全
This is definitely unsafe.
啊哦 你就是不安全的
Oh, yeah? Well, you're unsafe.
-你不安全 -你才不安全
-You're unsafe. -You're unsafe.
这里是电视和录像机
Here we have a TV and VCR
1991年就有了
from 1991.
好吧 我的意思是
Well, I mean,
谁会需要手♥机♥或者网络呢
who needs cell service or Internet
当你看着你喜欢的VHS录像带的时候
when you can keep busy watching your favourite VHS tape?
这里 是厨房♥
Over here, we have the kitchen,
还配置了一台威力巨大的微波炉
complete with, yes, a radioactive microwave
和一个需要炭火的烤箱
and an oven that probably still uses hot coals.
-就要切入主题了 -我想要和你做♥爱♥
-You may be noticing a theme. -I want to have sex with you.
变化就是坏事
Change is bad.
似乎是个信♥号♥♥
Looks like a sign.
不 是接触不良的电线
No, looks like bad wiring.
这里是熊窝
This is the bear room.
-很好 -yeah
-Very good. -Yeah.
还有
And...
-为什么这里叫做熊窝呢 -不
-why is it called the bear room? -No.
这是浴室
This is the bathroom.
绿色的
It's green,
很绿
very green.
这里 这里可以停一艘潜水艇
This is... This is where you almost drowned playing submarine.
-是的 -是的
-Yeah. -Yeah.
你是我的菜
You're my favourite.
-哪一个是我们的房♥间 -隔壁
-Which one is ours? -Next door.
木头房♥子
The woods room...
-好吧 -因为它有窗户
-All right. -...because it has windows
面朝
facing...
树林
the woods.
漆黑一片 那里好可怕
It's dark and scary out there.
是很黑 在里面也很可怕
It's dark and scary in here.
那些鸭子是怎么回事
What's with the ducks?
他们是假的 中空的
They're fake and hollow, empty inside.
我小的时候常常在里面藏东西
I used to hide things in 'em with I was little.
-嗯 -那你在这里藏了什么
-Yeah. -What are you hiding under here?
我的非常特别的蜜月睡衣
My very super-special honeymoon nightgown.
我爱你 蜜蜂蜂
I love you, honeybee.
对不起 对比起
Sorry. Sorry.
-你吓了我一跳 -我睡不着了
-You are pretty creepo. -I was done sleeping.
看我找到了什么
Look what I found.
亲爱的鸭子
"Dear ducks,
我的名字是Mallard P. Quack.
my name is Mallard P. Quack.
我不是一只真鸭子 走开
"I am not a real duck. Stay away.
翻译 呱呱
"Translation: Quack, quack.
呱 呱 呱 呱 呱
Honk, quack, quack, quack, honk."
有牛奶吗
Did we get milk?
你在放在这里了 对吗
You put it in here, right?
是 不 在冰箱里
Yeah, no, it's in the fridge.
现在 然后 嗨嗨
Now, then... Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
-老婆 -嗯 相敬如宾啊 官人
-Wife... -Oh, how gracious of you, husband.
折腾一晚上了 你应该休息了
After last night, you deserve to relax.
歇歇你的子♥宫♥
Rest your womb.
什么 子♥宫♥
What, my womb?
是啊
Yeah.
-为什么你会这么说 -我不知道 我
-Why did you say that? -I don't know. I don't know. I'm...
没有什么特别的意思
I didn't mean anything.
我要做煎饼了
I'm gonna make the pancakes now.
-只是 -什么
-It's just... -What?
好吧 我不知道
Well, I don't know.
脱口而出了 什么
Just say it. What?
你想要孩子吗
Do you want to have a baby?
不 什么 不
No. What? No.
我不知道我为什么那么说 子♥宫♥
I don't know why I said, "Womb."
我只是 我只是想要调侃一下干♥你♥太猛了
I was... I was just teasing about how hard I fucked you.
好了吗
Okay?
好吧
All right.
怎么了
What is it?
-我不知道 -好吧 行
-I don't know. -Okay. Cool.