追杀胖老爹（2020）

Would you like a cookie, Captain Jacobs?
当然
Indeed.
牛逼的团队管理方法
A hell of a way to run a crew.
失陪了
Excuse me.
哇噢
Wow.
你还好吗 伙计
You all right, buddy?
仓鼠吊床是最畅销的 这个是滚轮
The hamster hammock is a top seller and this, the roller.
我们还有跷跷板
Then we have the seesaw.
零食还有小宠玩耍屋
Nibblers and the pet playhouse.
没有地方放玩耍屋
There's no room for the pet playhouse.
你知道吗 有趣的是
You know, it's funny.
你看起来不像会养仓鼠的人
You don't strike me as a hamster person.
我是
Well, I am.
你看上去更像养爬行动物的人
You seem more like a... a reptile person.
你喜欢蜥蜴吗
Do you like lizards?
我有各种优质的变色龙
I have a great selection of chameleons.
我不想要变色龙
I don't want a chameleon.
蛇
Snakes.
没错 你是应该养蛇的人
That's it. You're a snake person.
蛇会吃仓鼠
Snakes eat hamsters.
你知道吗 很多人不知道
You know, lots of people don't know
自己是适合什么的人
what kind of pet person they are,
但我很擅长这些
but I'm really good at this.
你知道吗 你让我想起了我母亲
You know, you remind me a lot of my mother.
-真的吗 -对
-Really? -Yeah.
她不善于倾听
She wasn't a good listener,
并且从来不知道什么时候该闭嘴
and she never knew when to shut the fuck up.
谢谢
Thank you.
来吧 伙计们
Here you go, fellas.
-嗨 -嗨
-Hi. -Hey.
克林格先生
Mr. Cringle.
要找到这个地方可太艰难了
We had a hell of a time finding this place.
在镇子上四处打听 谁也不知道
Asked around town, but no one had a clue.
你们也能想象为什么必须这样
Yeah, as you can imagine, it has to be that way.
我们认为这是一件好事
And we think it's a good thing.
极好的事 我是莱克斯泰勒
Great thing. Yeah, I'm Lex Taylor.
这位是卡特马普尔索普
This is, uh, Carter Mapplethorpe.
圣诞老人认识世界上所有人
我知道你是谁
I know who you are.
对的 他们提醒过我这一点
Right. They warned us about that.
近几年情况都不太好
Things were a little touch-and-go for a couple of years.
是不是 卡特
Weren't they, Carter?
那是雷 他有时会一惊一乍的
Oh, that's Donner. He gets a mite nippy.
算你运气好那不是闪电
You're lucky it wasn't Blitzer.
她能把你的包扯个稀碎
She'd tear your package right off.
来吧 随便看看 伙计们
Well, have a look around, fellas.
小七是我工厂的领班
7, my shop foreman,
他可以展示你们想看的东西
will show you anything you might need to see.
我们不用参观 克里斯
We, uh, don't need to have a look around, Chris.
我们已经看了那些数据和样品
No, we've seen the numbers, we've seen the samples,
您的工作非常卓越
and the work you do is exceptional.
军方愿意今后每年都
The military would like to procure
购买♥♥您的服务
your services on an annual basis.
还是先别谈以后的事
Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.
我们准备和您订下十五年的补助金
We are prepared to guarantee your subsidization for 15 years.
我知道你们什么意思
I hear what you're saying,
但这是一锤子买♥♥卖♥♥ 先生们
but this is a one-time deal, gentlemen.
不如先等等 下个月1号♥
How about you wait until you get that
您拿到那张支票
check on the first of next month,
再想想要不要改变主意
and then we'll see if you don't have a change of heart.
那是不可能的
That's not gonna happen.
我很欣赏您的乐观 先生 真的
I appreciate your optimism, sir, I-I really do,
但恕我直言 我想我们都知道
but with all due respect, I think both of us know
有很大的可能您明年
that there's a very good chance you're
还是会沦落到这一步
gonna end up right back here next year.
而到那时 克林格先生
And then maybe, Mr. Cringle,
可能就没有这么好的条件了
the deal we offer won't be so sweet.
我会在手边放一些润滑油
I'll keep some axle grease handy
万一我改变想法了呢
just in case I change my mind.
好吧
Okay.
但总统会那样做吗
But will the president do that?
我猜他已经做了
I think he already is.
坐好别乱跑 我马上回来
Sit tight. Be right back.
这是你的圣诞节礼物吗
You get this for Christmas?
对 圣诞老人给我的
Yeah, Santa gave it to me.
你一定是个乖孩子
You must be a good kid.
我想是的
I guess so.
你知道我像你这么大时的
You know what I got for Christmas
圣诞节礼物是什么吗
when I was your age?
永远忘不掉烧焦的皮肉和清凉油的味道
You never forget the smell of burning flesh and menthols.
100块买♥♥你的飞机
Give you a hundred bucks for it.
150块
150.
你的员工胃口真好
Your workers sure have healthy appetites.
你知道吗 我不住地想身高和肤色
You know, I can't help but think the smallness and discoloration
是不良饮食导致的直接结果
is a direct result of an inadequate diet.
不良吗
Inadequate?
多丰盛啊
Please elaborate.
我认为你需要些
Well, I think what you need is some...
蛋白质 蔬菜 粗纤维
protein, vegetables, fiber.
我打赌如果给这些人正经的食物
I bet if we gave some real food to these people,
他们会像豌豆茎一样疯长的
they would shoot up like bean stalks.
上校 我们已经发现了
Captain, we have discovered the most
最高效和营养的饮食就是
efficient and productive way to eat
只吃碳水化合物和糖
is simple carbs and sugars
一天六顿
six times a day.
但这不正常
But that's unnatural.
人体需要四种营养源组合
The body needs four food groups,
日常锻炼和至少6小时的睡眠
regular exercise, a minimum of six hours of sleep.
精灵每八个小时睡20分钟
Every elf takes a 20-minute nap every eight hours.
那能让我们充满活力并且
That keeps our bodies fresh and
保持工作24小时运转
allows us to work on a 24-hour rotation.
你们能坚持那样多久
How long can you keep that up?
无穷无尽
Indefinitely.
这就是为什么精灵比人类寿命长多了
It's why elves live much longer than humans.
那么克里斯呢 他也一样吗
And Chris? He does the same?
不 是付出让他保持年轻
No. It's the giving that keeps him young.
珍妮很喜欢她的五辆小卡车
谢谢圣诞老人
我想明天进城查一下信箱
Thought I'd head into town tomorrow to check the PO box.
把支票握在手里会让我更舒服些
I'm gonna feel a lot better with that check in my hand.
有我呢
I'm with you there.
谢谢这个
Thanks for these.
我们相互扶持
We have each other's backs.
本来就是这样的
That's how this works.
还记得我之前做烘焙
Remember when my baking went through
中了素食无糖的邪的时候吗
the vegan, sugar-free phase?
哦对
Oh, yeah.
差点要了我的命
I was lucky to survive it.
体重掉了12磅
Must've lost 12 pounds.
但你还是跟我说了实话 即使你知道
But you told me, even though you knew
我听了不会高兴
I wouldn't be thrilled to hear it.
其实更像是求生欲占了上风
That may have been more of a self-preservation thing.
重点是 我们我们都有顺利和不顺的时候
Point is, we both have good days and bad days.
我们有分歧 惹对方生气
We disagree. We tick each other off.
比如有一次你进了家门
Like when you come into the house
把汗水撒得满地都是
dripping sweat all over the floor,
然后拿我的好毛巾当汗巾
using my good towels for sweat rags.
但我爱你
But I love you.
所以问题会解决的
So we figure it out,
我们一起度过去
we work through it,
我们会互相扶持
we lift each other up.
我感觉醍醐灌顶
I'm feeling downright inspired.