岳父大人（2022）

我的工作就是当你们的财务顾问
My job is to be your financial advisor,
家庭咨♥询♥师还有造型师
family therapist, and stylist.
你们的工作就是享受婚礼
Your job is to enjoy the event.
给我客人名单跟订金就好
So give me a guest list and a deposit.
可以选择分期吗？
Do you have a layaway plan?
想要分期？
"Layaway plan."
我爱老爸的笑话，真无厘头
I love dad jokes. So random.
好了，别管什么主题
Okay. Let's forget the theme...
趁这个时候我们先找场地吧
and in the meantime, let's go find us a venue.
你要场地？
You want a venue?
我也有手♥机♥
I got a phone too.
这里
Aquí.
欢迎
Thank you.
－谢谢 －不客气
Thank you.
不会吧？毕尔特摩？
Really? The Biltmore?
你父亲向来一成不变
Creature of habit, your father.
－我是改建委员会的成员 －我们知道，老爸
I was on the remodeling committee.
－我是改建委员会的成员 －我们知道，老爸
We know, Dad. You tell us every time we come.
－每次来你都会说一遍 －好了，我们走
We know, Dad. You tell us every time we come.
－每次来你都会说一遍 －好了，我们走
All right. Let's go.
你好
Good to see you.
－对了，看看这个地方，真棒 －真的好漂亮
Hey! What do you think? Look at this place. Amazing.
不错吧？
Hey! What do you think? Look at this place. Amazing.
嘿，柯林
Hey, Colin. - Mr. Herrera.
赫雷拉先生
Hey, Colin. - Mr. Herrera.
嗨，你好
Hi. Good to see you.
麻烦你通知蜜雪儿 她最喜欢的建筑师来找她了
Will you let Michelle know that her favorite architect is here to see her?
你好吗？
How are you? Good?
所以你们比较喜欢绿扁豆 还是冬南瓜汤呢？
So do you prefer the green lentil
所以你们比较喜欢绿扁豆 还是冬南瓜汤呢？
or the butternut squash soup?
冬南瓜吧，很美味
Butternut squash.
冬南瓜吧，很美味
Delicious, huh? Butternut squash, right?
冬南瓜，对吧？
Delicious, huh? Butternut squash, right?
好
Okay.
我的计划是这样
Here's the idea.
乐团会在这里
We got an orchestra right here.
好，演奏音乐
Bang! Orchestra.
舞池
Dance floor.
然后这边是亲友桌
And then we're over here, family table.
亲友桌，长型的
Family table. Long family.
来，这边一组
One set of tables here.
赫雷拉家、卡斯提洛家
Herreras. Castillos. Wedding.
婚礼
Herreras. Castillos. Wedding.
在这个庄园，美轮美奂
Biltmore. Splendor.
你会请神仙乐团吗？
Are you gonna have Los Inmortales?
当然要请了
Course we're gonna have Inmortales.
华特舅舅跟神仙乐团 演奏经典曲目
Course we're gonna have Inmortales.
华特舅舅跟神仙乐团 演奏经典曲目
Tío Walter and the Inmortales breaking out the classics. Everybody's happy.
－爸，你知道我很爱华特舅舅 －皆大欢喜
Wait, Dad. You know I love Tío Walter,
也没有要冒犯神仙乐团的意思
and no offense to Los Inmortales...
可是这个婚礼上不是只有古巴人
but there's not only Cubans at this wedding, there's also Adán's family,
还有亚当的家人、我们的朋友
but there's not only Cubans at this wedding, there's also Adán's family,
还有亚当的家人、我们的朋友
our friends, and we don't want an orchestra.
我们不想要乐队 我们想要唱片骑师
our friends, and we don't want an orchestra.
我们不想要乐队 我们想要唱片骑师
We want a DJ.
－唱片骑师？－对，唱片骑师
Yeah, a DJ.
而且这间房♥间 对50个人来说太大了
And this room is too big for 50 guests.
50个人？光亲戚就超过了
Fifty guests? Try 50 cousins.
而且我们还有朋友、客户
Plus, we have friends, my clients.
爸，我不想结婚的时候 还要应付陌生人
Dad, I don't wanna get married with 200 strangers I haven't seen in, what,
而且十多年没见
ten years?
你的亲戚我都不认识
Plus, I barely know half your cousins.
我自己都不认识
I barely know half my cousins.
可是有什么方式比家庭婚礼 更适合联络感情？
What better situation than to reconnect with them at a family wedding?
我必须要澄清一点
Let me just get one thing straight.
这是我们的婚礼，老爸
This is our wedding, Dad.
说真的，是，也不是
Well, yes and no.
什么叫是，也不是？
Yes and no?
是也不是
Yes and no.
你的名字在喜帖上 但支票簿是我的
Your name is on the invitation, but my name is on the checks.
好啊，就因为办婚礼是你付钱
Okay. So, because your name's on the check,
所以你有权作主咯？
you get to call all the shots?
是的，按照传统是这样没错
Yes. Traditionally that's the way it works.
出钱的人最大
The one with the gold makes the rules.
我只是想在
Sofi, please. I just want to give you away
亲朋好友与 社交圈的人面前送你出阁
Sofi, please. I just want to give you away
亲朋好友与 社交圈的人面前送你出阁
in front of my community, my friends. This is important to me.
－这对我很重要 －你是不是说送我出阁？
Did you just say, "Give me away"?
－爸，我不是一个买♥♥卖♥♥的物品 －我们不要吵了，好吗？
Dad, I'm not something you could just sell off.
我漂洋过海来美国
I didn't come across the Atlantic Ocean
睡在华特舅舅家地板上
to sleep on Tío Walter's floor
半工半读完成学业，创建公♥司♥
to put myself through school, to build the firm
不就是为了 可以负担这样的婚礼？
so I can afford something like this...
而你却站在那里告诉我
for you to stand there and tell me I can't celebrate
我不能跟亲朋好友一起庆祝
this extraordinary moment with our family, our friends.
－在非凡的一刻 －爸…主角是我跟他
Dad, Dad, Dad. This is about us.
好，我要出手了
Okay. I'm gonna interject.
有一天我在听德瑞克的精彩播客
The other day, I was listening to this incredible podcast
讨论移♥民♥经验 我打算跟你们分享
with Drake talking about the immigrant experience.
－你们有听过吗？－没有
-Did you guys hear this? -No.
总之，我知道他是加拿大人 你们是拉丁世代
Anyway, I know that he is Canadian and you guys are Latinx...
可是我却想起了移♥民♥
but it got me thinking about immigrants.
－是流亡 －是流亡，我很抱歉
Exiles. I'm so sorry.
重点其实只有一个，对吧？
The point is, it's always the same, right?
家长想要维护传统，孩子却拒绝
The parents wanna preserve their traditions and their kids don't.
一直以来都这样，我感同深受
Tale as old as time.
一直以来都这样，我感同深受
And I relate, you know.
以前我的犹太成人礼 想要《欲望城市》主题
I wanted a Sex and the City theme for my bat mitzvah
可是我爸妈不同意
and my parents wouldn't let me.
－我是夏绿蒂 －我是莎曼珊
I'm a Charlotte.
－我是夏绿蒂 －我是莎曼珊
I'm a Samantha.
而你，小姐 在这里要多学学凯莉
And you, missy, need to be a little Carrie in this narrative
另外，这位大人物
while Mr. Big over here needs to stop mansplaining how to throw a wedding.
不要再用男性的角度 来诠释如何举办婚礼了
while Mr. Big over here needs to stop mansplaining how to throw a wedding.
好，老爸，听好了
Okay, papi. Check it.
我们要合作，好吗？
It's a collab, right?
你要开心…
You gotta be happy, you gotta be happy. And we're gonna make it work.
携手共度这一关，同意？
You gotta be happy, you gotta be happy. And we're gonna make it work.
携手共度这一关，同意？
Deal? Let's go find a wedding dress.
那我们去看婚纱吧
Deal? Let's go find a wedding dress.
好，各位，再15分钟就到了
Okay, guys, the appointment is in 15 minutes.
我到底是付礼服钱还是付房♥租？
Am I paying for the dress or the rent?
白色婚纱，蛋糕
Meringue...
白色婚纱，蛋糕
cake...
无趣
boring...
太新娘子了
too bridal.
不好意思
Excuse me?
嗨，请问你们还有其他品牌吗？
Hi. What other designers do you carry?
非常抱歉，这里的服饰不适合你
I'm afraid we don't have anything for you here.
我想你可能来错地方了
I think you might be in the wrong store.
请你离开好吗？
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
我可不是这里的员工
I'm just messing with ya. I don't work here.
天啊，拜托你别闹了
My God, I can't take you anywhere.
柯拉，这位是凡妮莎 亚当的亲戚
Cora, this is Vanessa, Adán's cousin.
她也是我在纽约的好朋友
Also a very good friend of mine from New York.
－嗨 －嗨
-Hi.
好，家人们，重点来了
All right, fam, here is the scoop.
我们没有时间订做婚纱
We won't have time to customize a dress,
所以只能拿现成的来改
so we're gonna have to alter one that's off the rack.
老爸，请问我们的 预算有多少呢？
Daddy, what is the budget that we're working with?