比尔和泰德畅游鬼门关（1991）

I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire!
我是泰德·"西奥多"·洛根
And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan!
我们一起组成了怀尔德-史泰林
Together, we are Wyld Stallyns!
等等
Hold it right there!
我们才是怀尔德-史泰林
We're Wyld Stallyns!
不 哥们 我们是怀尔德-史泰林
No, dudes. We're Wyld Stallyns!
你们杀了我们 邪恶的金属混♥蛋♥
You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweeds!
没错 而且我们会再杀一次
Yeah, and we're gonna do it again!
而且 我们还会杀了你们的女友
Plus, we're gonna totally kill your girIfriends.
别担心 宝贝 我们会救你们
Don't worry, babes! We'll save you.
各位 欢迎基站的创造物
Everybody, say hello to Station's creation!
正义机器人比尔和泰德
Good Robot Bill and Ted!
哥们 我们遇见对手了
Dude, we may have met our match.
向你致敬 好人分身
Kudos to you, good human usses.
-回见了 比尔和泰德 -回见了 比尔和泰德
- Catch you later, Bill and Ted! - Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
-伊丽莎白 -西奥多
- Elizabeth! - Theodore!
-乔安娜 -威廉
- Joanna! - William!
那是谁
Who is that?
你是说
Who are you?
我是谁
Who am I?
我是德·诺默勒斯
I am De Nomolos.
我是他们的主人
I am their master.
我必须确保你们死
And I must see to it that you die.
但首先
But first...
我们现在通过世界各地的所有频道现场直播
We are now transmitting on every channel throughout the world.
我的话
My word!
我想让整个宇宙都见证这一刻
I want the whole universe to behold this...
权力的更迭
... transfer of power.
我们未来的社会
No longer will our future society...
不会再建立于这两个白♥痴♥的
... be based on the ideas and the music...
想法和音乐了
... of these two fooIs!
而是会建立于我的想法
They will be based on my ideas...
只有我的想法
...and my ideas alone!
哥们 这情况怎么办 我们没时间了
Dude, how do we get out of this? We don't got any time.
有的 哥们 听着 等我们从他身边逃走后
Yeah, we do, dude. Look, after we get away from this guy...
我们就用电♥话♥亭 时间旅行到比赛前
...we use the booth, we time-travel back to before the concert
然后布置一些能抓住他的陷进
and set up the things we need to get him now.
好啊 比如什么
Yeah, like what?
比如沙袋
Like a sandbag.
妙啊
Excellent!
然后再来个笼子
Then we'll get a cage.
我的朋友们
My friends.
我也可以玩时间旅行的游戏
I too can play the time game.
如果你这么做 等我击败你们后
If you do that, once I have vanquished you...
我就回去准备这把钥匙
...I'll go back and set up this key.
还有另一把枪
And another gun.
怀尔德-史泰林最酷炫
没错 老哥 只是你没想到一件事
Right, dude. Only there's one thing you didn't think of.
对 只有赢家能回到过去准备这些
Yeah, only the winners' gonna go back and set things up.
没错 那将会是我们 老哥
Yeah, and that's gonna be us, dude.
我们准备了钥匙 还准备了枪
We set up the key, and we set up the gun.
不好意思
Excuse me.
你的鞋带散开了
Your shoelaces are untied.
拉到裤裆了
Melvined.
你被捕了 伙计
You're under arrest, pal.
干得漂亮 爸
Way to go, Dad!
逮捕他 丹诺
Book him, Danno.
好样的 死神
Good job, Death.
那是谁
Who was that guy?
也许我能回答这个问题 先生们
Perhaps I can answer that question, gentlemen.
沃尔卓小姐 谢谢帮忙
Ms. Wardroe, thanks for the help.
我们绝对...
You know, we definitely...
来吧宝贝 脱掉脱掉
Yeah, take it off, baby!
鲁弗斯
Rufus!
你来这多久了 兄弟
How long you been here, dude?
刚好赶上你们的试镜
Just in time for your audition.
所以你一直是沃尔卓小姐
So you were Ms. Wardroe all along.
还有别人能让你们参加这个比赛吗
Hey, would anyone eIse have let you in this contest?
-不 -朋友们
- No! - Now amigos,
那是查克·德·诺默勒斯 我以前的体育老师
That was Chuck De Nomolos, my old gym teacher.
对了 他是27世纪的仰卧起坐冠军
And, by the way, sit-up champion of the 27th century.
先生 我想该你们登台表演了
And now, gentlemen, I believe the stage belongs to you.
谢了 鲁弗斯
Thanks, Rufus.
哥们 我们还是不会弹
Dude, we stilI don't know how to play.
也许我们该变得强点 泰德
Maybe we ought to get good, Ted.
怎么做
How?
真是个高♥强♥度的16个月吉他快速入门课啊 哥们
That was a fast 16 months of intensive guitar training, dude.
是啊 除了两周中世纪蜜月
Yeah, except for the two-week medieval honeymoon.
大家好 圣迪马斯
Hello, San Dimas!
我给大家介绍个小朋友
Let me introduce you to a little friend.
这是小泰德
This is little Ted.
你好 小泰德
Hello, little Ted!
这是小比尔
This is little Bill.
你好 小比尔
Hello, little Bill!
还有我们乐队的其他成员 泰德
Now for the rest of our band, Ted.
康茄舞和邦戈鼓高手 证明了
On conga and bongos, proof that
不能以貌取人
you can't tell a book by its cover...
一个能用一个词表达一切的哥们
...the dude who can make one word mean anything...
基站
...Station!
我们的伴舞
Our backup dancers...
基站最大胆的发明创造
...Station's most bodacious creations...
正义机器人分身
...the Good Robot Usses!
这边
And over here...
是我们的贝斯手 恐怖伯爵
...our bass player, the Duke of Spooks...
吓人博士 一点不黑的男人
...the Doc of Shocks, the Man With No Tan...
请向死亡本尊问好
...please say hello to Death himseIf...
死神
...the Grim Reaper!
无论你是国王或清洁工
You might be a king or a little street sweeper
总有一天你要与死共舞
But sooner or later you dance with the Reaper
释放自己的邪恶天性吧
Get down with your bad seIf!
我真喜欢演艺界
I love show business.
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen...
我们造访了过去
...we've been to the past.
我们瞥见了未来
We've been to the future.
我们甚至探索了来生
We've been all around the afterlife.
但你知道吗
And you know...
最好的地方
The best place to be...
就是这里
...is here.
最精彩的时刻
And the best time to be...
就是现在
...is now.
我们只想说
And all we can say is...
燥起来吧
...let's rock!
一 二
One! Two!
一二三四
One, two, three, four!
很好 很好
Right good! Right good!
《圣迪马斯报》
世界见证了怀尔德-史泰林获胜
《旧金山编年报》
怀尔德-史泰林中西部巡演
音乐排行榜
怀尔德-史泰林新专辑排名第一
《伦敦日报》
怀尔德-史泰林在温布尔登体育场演出
《奥斯卡邮报》
怀尔德-史泰林在亚利桑那州大峡谷演出
《华盛顿日报》
比尔和泰德中东巡演 和平成就达成
《科学发现》
怀尔德-史泰林用核武器使用功放
《全球》
空气吉他能消除雾霾
《公路杂♥志♥》
死神在印第安那波利斯式赛车中获胜
《体育明星》
比尔和泰德 十年间最佳体育人
《马戏团》
死神录制个人专辑
死神夏日装扮引领新潮流
《每日公报》
查克·德·诺默勒斯与米茜完婚
比尔和泰德走向分♥裂♥了吗
《每日新闻》
传言怀尔德-史泰林分♥裂♥
道琼斯指数下跌600点
《芝加哥公报》
怀尔德-史泰林分♥裂♥为假消息
道琼斯指数报新高