比尔和泰德畅游鬼门关（1991）

是时候了
It is time.
他们迎来了第二个关键的
They've reached the second crucial turning point
命运转折点
in their destiny.
他们的信息即将被百万人知晓
Their message is about to reach millions.
但是 我们会改变这一切
But... we will change all that.
当我们完成任务之时
When our mission is successful...
世界将不再由这两个蠢货
...no longer will the world be dominated...
留下来的破烂所统治
...by the legacy of these two fooIs!
我们也不再会听到这些
No longer will we hear this:
我们将阻止他们
We will stop them now!
兄弟姐♥妹♥们♥
Brothers and sisters...
准备好了吗
...are we ready?
-我优秀的学生们 你们好 -基站
- Greetings, my excellent pupiIs. - Station.
我们今天继续学习
Today we continue our study
声学混响物理
of the physics of acoustical reverberation.
我来向各位介绍今天最不冒牌的嘉宾
Meet today's most non-bogus guest speakers.
和我们的朋友托马斯·爱迪生打个招呼
Say hello to our friend Thomas Edison.
大家好
Hello there.
为了能在音乐方面对大家有所帮助
To help us on the musical side of things:
这是约翰·塞巴斯蒂安·巴♥赫♥
Johann Sebastian Bach.
然后是来自"不再信仰"的詹姆斯·马丁爵士
And Sir James Martin of Faith No More...
他是"不再信仰"精神与神学中心的创始人
...founder of the Faith No More Spiritual and Theological Center.
-基站 -基站
- Station! - Station!
还有来自23世纪的特邀嘉宾
And a special treat from the 23rd century:
莉亚·帕切尔小姐
Miss Ria Paschelle.
你们都知道 帕切尔小姐发明了
Miss Paschelle, as you all know, is the inventor of the...
时空站声音氧化放大电♥话♥传送器
...statiophonicoxygeneticamp-lifiagraphiphonideliverberator.
实在很难想象没有它们的世界 对吧
Kind of hard to imagine the world before we have them, isn't it?
大家记住 这周五
Remember, this Friday,
本·富兰克林和艾瑞莎·富兰克林会过来
Ben Franklin and Aretha Franklin will be here.
周六是去巴比伦实地考察 还有强调一点
Saturday is the field trip to Babylonia. And very important:
请务必戴上耳机做作业 再重复一遍
Do not do your homework without wearing headphones. Repeat...
德·诺默勒斯 我曾经的老师
De Nomolos. My old teacher.
鲁弗斯 我的得意门生
Rufus. My favorite pupil.
-我还以为你已经... -死了
- I thought you were... - Dead?
不
No.
只是在准备
Just in preparation.
我再也受不了这个体制了
I worked within the system until I could stand it no longer.
很快
And soon...
很快 这个体制也将不复存在
...soon the system will never have existed.
-你摆脱不了它的 -时间会证明一切
- You won't get away with it. - Time will tell.
时间已经证明了
Time has told.
那我就回到过去 改写历史
I'll go back and change that,
借助我的秘密武器
with the aid of my secret weapons!
你们好吗 兄弟们
How's it going, dudes?
朋友们 他们都是机器人
Friends, friends, friends. These are automatons.
复♥制♥品而已 内置有我的命令
Replicas only. Furnished with my agenda.
你们的任务是什么
Now, what is your mission?
首先 我们将完全消灭比尔和泰德
First, we totally kill Bill and Ted.
对 然后我们接管他们的生活
Yeah. Then we take over their lives.
然后我们彻底毁灭他们
Then we utterly destroy them.
在乐队大战中
At the Battle of the Bands,
我们会做他们要做的演说
we give their speech they are gonna give,
只是完全不一样
except totally different.
我们将开创新的未来 伟大的未来
And thus a new future is born. A great future.
那还用说 老兄 你设计了我们
Don't tell us, dude. You programmed us.
-他就是个机器人 -你也是啊 老弟
- He's totally a robot! - So are you, dude!
我们都是金属脑袋
We're total metal heads!
给我停下
Do shut up.
那么
Now.
-何为能量 -恐惧
- What is the fuel? - Fear!
-何为动力 -纪律
- What is the engine? - Discipline!
-何为目标 -秩序
- What is the ideal? - Order!
如何达到目标
And how do we achieve it?
杀死比尔和泰德
Death to Bill and Ted!
待会见 坏蛋
Catch you later, evil dude.
我是比尔·S·普雷斯顿
I am Bill S. Preston...
先生
...Esquire!
这是泰德·西奥多·洛根
This is Ted "Theodore" Logan!
鼓手和键盘手
On drums and keyboards...
来自中世纪英国的美丽公主
...celebrating their fifth year in the 20th century...
正在庆祝她们来到20世纪的第五年
...the beautiful princesses from medieval England.
乔安娜和伊丽莎白
Joanna and Elizabeth.
我们是
And we are...
怀尔德-史泰林
...Wyld Stallyns.
你们老是说你们是世上最伟大的乐队
You keep telling me you're the greatest band in the world,
但你们糟透了
but you stink.
是啊 我们也不懂为什么
Yeah, we don't understand it either.
你们根本不会唱歌♥
I mean, you can't sing.
女生们都弹得很好 可你们呢
The girIs can play. But you guys?
女生比男生成熟得更早
GirIs mature faster than guys.
而且 她们从15世纪就开始练习了
Plus, they started in the 15th century.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
-她们来自中世纪英国 -泰德 闭嘴
- They're from medieval England. - Ted, shut up.
中世纪英国 爱荷华州
Medieval England, Iowa.
重点是 乐队大战
Guys, the point is the Battle of the Bands
是这里最重大的赛事
is the biggest event in the area.
一等奖有两万五千美元
We're talking about a $25,000 first prize...
两年的唱片合约
...a two-year record deal
以及被重要商业人士发掘的机会
and chances to be seen by the most important people in the business..
我们甚至在12频道有直播
I mean, we're even got live on Channel 12.
如果你们是我 你们会让自己上台吗
Now, if you were me, would you put you guys on?
没门
No way.
看在你们为脆饼奶酪工作的份上
Since you work for PretzeIs 'N' Cheese,
我就给你们一次机会
I'll give you a shot.
太好了
Excellent!
但排在最后一个 午夜时分
But last. Midnight.
那时可能已经没人了
Probably by that time, everyone will be gone.
没关系的 我们已经习惯了
That's all right. I mean, we're used to that.
我们在泰德弟弟初中舞会时赶走了所有人
Yeah, we fully cleaned out Ted's brother's junior high school dance.
他独奏时 他们把《拉邦巴》声音调到最大
They fully turned on "La Bamba" while he was playing his solo.
墨西哥著名民谣
泰德 闭嘴
Shut up, Ted!
小伙子们 帮帮你们自己吧 稍微准备一下
Guys, do yourseIf a favor. Prepare a little.
打磨你们的表演 想一些点子
Work on your act. Think of something.
别担心 沃尔卓小姐 我们不会让你失望的
Don't worry, Miss Wardrobe. We won't let you down.
老弟 我们必须赢得那场比赛
Dude, we gotta win that concert.
市政礼堂
对 然后我们就能向姑娘们求婚了
Yeah, then we could finally propose to the ladies.
我们在脆饼奶酪挣的钱
No. There is no way we can raise a family
没办法养家糊口
on the money we make from PretzeIs 'N' Cheese.
圣迪马斯市政礼堂
我给米茜打个电♥话♥ 说我们已经上路了
I'll call Missy, tell her we're on our way.
这应该是个最华丽的生日聚会
Should be a most resplendent birthday party.
-准备好了吗 姑娘们 -当然
- Shall we, ladies? - Great, sure.
怀尔德-史泰林
521岁生日快乐
521岁生日快乐
我听说你俩今晚有别的事要庆祝
I understand you two have something eIse to celebrate tonight.
我们要参加乐队大战了
We got into the Battle of the Bands.
如果我们赢了 我就还清向你借的钱
If we win, I'll totally pay you back your money.
那如果你们没赢呢
What if you don't win?
那样的话 我猜
Well, uh, I guess...
可能再去卖♥♥点血
Maybe sell more blood.
不如你考虑卖♥♥掉几样乐器吧
Perhaps you should think about selling a couple of instruments.
我们永远都为你留了位置 泰德
Of course, we've always got a spot for you, Ted.
还记得我的老朋友
Remember my old friend,
来自阿♥拉♥斯加军校的奥茨上校
Colonel Oats from the Alaskan Military School?
-是要问我近来如何吗 泰德 -是的
- "How's it going", Ted? - Yeah.
非常棒
Splendidly.
记住
Remember...
泰德 对你而言还不算太晚
...it's not too late for you, Ted.
也对你们俩都是
For either of you.