圣诞坏公公2（2016）

I even got minis for the midget - Don't you ever fucking call me that
侏儒也有份 - 别再这么叫我
Hey, listen, little man, I don't speak politically correct,
听好了 小人 我说话比较糙
so if you got a problem with that, you take it up with the Lollipop Guild
如果你有意见 尽管去棒棒糖公会投诉(绿野仙踪里的矮人公会)
Shut the hell up! Just break it down for him, Sunny
闭乌鸦嘴 把任务交代给他
I'll break it down, all right
我来交代任务 好吧
Giving City is a charity at 98 cents every dollar
感恩之城这个慈善组织每募得1美元
goes to this A-hole at the top
最多有0.98元被黑掉
Regent Hastings
雷金特哈斯丁
He takes in tens of thousands in donations,
他吞了上万的善款
and he squirrels them away in an offshore account
并将之存入离岸账户内
And how are you supposed to get it? - You mean, how are we supposed to get it?
你想怎么办? - 你是说我们想怎么办?
These little buckets here, they're filled with cash,
这些小罐子 装满了现金
up to the brim, every day
每天都快要溢出来
And then at night, they store that cash in the safe in Regent's office
入夜后 他们会将现金存入雷金特办公室的保险箱
And that's our target. Right here
我们的目标 在这里
Christmas Eve, they have a big charity concert
圣诞夜 他们要举♥行♥一场大型慈善音乐会
So while the kids and volunteers are all singing,
趁孩子们和志愿者唱歌♥的时候
the money's just sitting there, waiting for an armored transfer
钱款就在这里 等候装运转移
That's our take window. Last year, the haul was almost 2 mil
这是我们的机会 去年运了200万
And how do you know all this shit? - Because I work there, dumb-ass
你怎么知道的? - 因为我在此间工作
It's a part of my release from the joint. I've been there 3 months
我也是链条上的一份子 已经三个月了
Just did a little digging, a little Googling,
只做了一点挖掘工作 GOOGLE一下
a dry hand job to Isaac in Accounting. Boom
手工稍微核对了一下进出账目
The concert's in five days
音乐会五天后举♥行♥
Meantime, we wear the suit, hit the pavement,
到时候 我们穿上套装 上街
we ring the bell, just like the rest of the volunteers
敲铃铛 和别的志愿者一样
All right
很好
Well, it looks to me like you jackals already got the whole job figured out
听起来你已经算计好了一切
What do you need me for? You can crack a fucking safe
你还要我♥干♥什么?你自己也会开保险箱
Well, I'd like to say it's because I've missed you, my angel
我不得不说 我想你了 我的小天使
But I got a touch of the Parkinson's and my hearing ain't what it used to be,
实际上我得了帕金森病 听力也大不如前
so I'm gonna need you on the safe
所以我需要你来开保险箱
Mmm
唔
And when do you pull your little Roy Rogers pistol out on me again?
你什么时候再把你的小鸡枪掏出来对着我?
I said I was sorry. You gotta let that shit go, Willie!
我说过抱歉了 往事就随风吧 威利
No, I think I'll hang on to it
不行 这事我记你一辈子
Oh, Christ
老天哪
If I cut ties with every numbnut who tried to shoot me,
如果我和拿枪对我的人全都断绝关系的话
I never would've gotten pregnant with you
我就不会怀上你
Come on, boy. Be just like old times
行了孩子 和过去一样吧
Old times? - Mm-hmm
过去 - 嗯
You mean a living fucking nightmare? Why didn't you say so? I'm in
你指的是过去的噩梦? 你之前为什么不说?
You gotta be shitting me. Good luck with the shakes
你别玩我了 祝你们好运
Willie, come on. Just give it a chance
威利 得了 来试一次吧
What, you don't trust your mother?
你不信任你妈?
Yeah, I trust her about as far as I can throw you
信她还不如信你
And I trust you about as far as I can throw her
信你还不如信她
Come on, Willie, I need this
拜托 威利 我需要这单
And I know your sorry ass does too. Look at you, man
你不也是吗 看看你自己
Okay, if you want me in on this, it's you and me against her
OK 如果要我参加 必须你我联手对付她
You got it?
明白吗?
She don't get a fucking nickel of what's in that safe. Get me?
她别想从保险箱拿到一个子儿 听懂我吗?
We'll cut her out after the grab - Damn right
完事后我们甩掉她 - 正确
I knew you couldn't stay away. You always were your mama's boy
我就知道你不会袖手旁观 孩子永远是妈妈的儿子
You just pipe down about the family stuff, okay?
别再啰嗦家里的事 OK?
I'm in this for the dough, period. You get me?
是看在钱的面子上 句号♥ 听懂了吗?
Well, it's starting to feel like Christmas
感觉有圣诞节的气氛了
Spare some change
多余的零钱
Think about somebody besides your fucking selves
想想那些悲惨的别人
We gotta get eyes on that safe. Need to know the make
我们必须看下保险箱 了解流程
Now you're asking the right questions, shitstick
你终于问到点子上了 搅屎棍
The trash chute's the best way in
垃圾道是最佳进入方式
I'm gonna need a hand getting into position
我需要有人帮助我就位
Recon. Good. We'll go tonight
火力侦查 不错 我们今晚就去
Look at those cheeks!
看这小脸颊
That's the ugliest fucking baby on the planet
这绝对是地球上最丑的婴儿
I guess the abortion didn't take
感觉是流产没有成功
Well, bless your heart. Cheap little fucker
保佑你的心灵 你♥妈♥的♥小气鬼
Fucking dimes? Are you shitting me?
角币?你她妈开什么玩笑?
This ain't no strip joint - What a fucking Sokes family
这里又不是脱衣俱乐部 - 这丑陋的一家
This is what happens when you screw your cousins
这就是表兄妹近亲胡搞的结果
I taught this muskrat everything he knows
他所有的一切都是我教会的
Well, you don't know shit, then, do you? - Hey, listen, before we had midget...
你还蒙在鼓里吧? - 听好了 在我们有侏儒之前...
Excuse me... little people, we had Willie
不好意思...是小人 也就是威利
He was my original elf. Remember those times, Willie?
他是我的快乐精灵 还记得以前吗 威利?
There ain't enough booze to forget it
喝多少酒都不能忘记
Well, he'd get panic attacks. It was embarrassing
他患有无端恐惧症 好尴尬
I had to make him stay outside when I was turning a trick or bowling
当我去行骗的时候 我只能把他放在外边
Wait a fucking minute, you were embarrassed?
等一下 你还会犯尴尬?
Isn't that kind of like the pot calling the other cot a fuck kettle,
你这不是贼喊捉贼嘛 还是掩耳盗铃什么的?
or whatever it was? - What the fuck you say?
反正就是这意思 - 你特娘说什么?
He's home-schooled
他是家里蹲大学毕业的
I need a refill
我得去灌点酒
And another fucking corner - Stop it, Willie
在角落里蹲一会儿 - 住手 威利
What? We're gonna steal this shit any fucking way. Who cares?
干嘛?这些钱迟早都是我们的 谁关心啊
But if we get fired, we got no access to the building
我们被炒鱿鱼的话 就无权进屋了
And if we got no access to the building, we got no access to the safe
进不了屋的话 就不能接触保险箱
And if we got no access to the safe,
接触不到保险箱的话
there's no reason for me to be standing out here, freezing my fucking nuts off
我还有什么必要站在这里 冻得我蛋蛋的忧伤
You mean your nuts haven't been scraped off
你的蛋还没有被磨掉吗?
because they're so low to the ground already?
据说矮子的蛋离地面比较近
You know every time you're passed out,
每次你醉的不省人事的时候
I lay them on your forehead and take a picture of it
我都坐在你的前额孵蛋 拍照
I got a whole Instagram of that shit of me tea-bagging you
我在朋友圈里发了一大堆我孵你的照片
Four thousand followers and counting, motherfucker. Ha-ha!
足足4000个赞 你老母 哈哈
Well, knock yourselves out. I'm getting the fuck out of here
你们请自便 反正我得离开一下
Aw, come on, we're having family time here
拜托 现在是家庭团聚时间
He's always been too goddamn soft. Probably because he was born early
他总是那么的疲软 也许是因为早产的缘故
Hell, I didn't even know I'd given birth until I tripped over him
乖乖 我被他绊了一跤才意识到我生了个小孩
Hello - Hi, Willie
你好 - Hi, 威利
Kid, how'd you get my number?
孩子 怎么有我的号♥码?
The cherry pop lady gave it to me
破处♥女♥狼给我的
Oh, Jesus
天啦噜
I cleaned your apartment, Willie. And I fed your insects
我替你的公♥寓♥打扫卫生 威利 给宠物昆虫喂食
They're getting really big
它们长得好大
Do you want me to get you a Christmas tree?
要不要我替你弄棵圣诞树?
What? Why would I want a tree? - So we can spend Christmas together
啥?我要树干什么? - 以便我俩一起过圣诞节
I'm in fucking Chicago, kid
我在芝加哥 孩子
So you're not coming back for Christmas?
那你不回来过圣诞节喽?
No, I'm not coming home for Christmas - Chicago's in the Midwest, Willie
对 我不回来过圣诞节 - 芝加哥在美国的中西部 威利
They have Hungry Hoagies there too
也有饥饿英雄三明治店
Well, good. I'll tell them you said hello, okay?
那我替你向他们问好 OK?
Except I don't know anyone at that Hungry Hoagies
那家三明治店我谁都不认识
All right, listen, you gotta quit fucking calling me, okay?
别没事给我打电♥话♥ OK?
You're burning my minutes - But what if it's an emergency?
你在燃烧我的时间 - 万一有紧急电♥话♥呢
Fine! If it's an emergency, call me, all right?
好吧 如果是紧急电♥话♥才打给我 了解吗?
Otherwise, leave me the fuck alone, okay?
不然让我的电♥话♥保持安静 OK?
Okay. I'll only call if it's an emergency
OK 我只在紧急的时候打
Bye
拜
Okay, feed the kids. Come on. Give it up
OK 给孩子们食物 给钱吧
You've seen them babies with beer bellies
看看那些将军肚的孩子们
Ho, ho! Come on, you got Jesus and the lambikins watching over you,
人在做 天在看
checking their list twice
再看看他们的购物清单
Here you go, lady, how about a little money?
说你呢女士 捐赠一点小钱怎么样?
You know what, you'd better hope the orphans don't riot
你一定不希望孤儿们暴♥动♥
They'll eat your fat ass right off the bat
他们饿到要立马啃吃你们的屁♥股♥
You know, a lot of these kids don't got any arms and legs and shit
很多孩子断手断脚 什么都断
You're lucky. See, ma'am? Yours got all their parts
真走运 妈咪 你的小孩身体健全
There you go - There you go. Thank you. See you later
这就对了 - 这就对了 谢谢 回头见
Damn. Mama ain't bad - Whoa!
还是做妈的靠谱