关于史蒂夫的一切（2009）

在那里你会用你大部分的时间
Where you'll be spending most of your days
处理小孩的鼻涕
Taking close-up shots of kids' snot sicles.
说点好的事吧 丹尼
Well, give us something good, Danny.
我的意思是 我们都是战斗机飞行员
I mean- we're fighter pilots, man.
是的 我们的确是
Yeah, we really are.
比如开着F16去杀你邻居的狗
It's like sending an F16 to kill your neighbor's dog.
这是在浪费精力
It's a waste of our energy.
我需要头条 能上演播桌的头条
And I need one big report, man, to get that anchor desk.
都出去
Get out of my office.
这就是个大头条
This is a big report,
所以这次别再
So don't screw it up
被你那些愚蠢的胡闹搞砸了 哈特曼
With any more stupid pranks this time, Hartman.
还有你 安格斯 这次你来负责
And you, Angus, you're responsible for these guys.
保证他们不会在图森给我惹麻烦
Make sure they don't embarrass me in Tucson.
要是他们搞砸了 你也被解雇了
They screw around, you're out.
-是的 先生 -记得凯雷德哦
-Yes, sir. - Remember the escalade.
八哥 你好吗
Starling, how you doing?
-杰基 很漂亮 宝拉 -在你的梦里
- Jackie, looking sweet. Paula. - In your dreams.
我能感觉你的丘比特之剑就这么射过来了
I can feel your love darts coming over this way.
妈妈 我在工作 什么事
Mom. I'm working. What's up?
你就是哈特曼·休斯
You're the man, hartman hughes.
不 我还没看 怎么了
No, I haven't read it. Why?
好 谁有《萨克拉门托先驱报》
Uh, okay. Hey. Does anybody have a Sacramento Herald?
-给你 -我找到一份了
- Yeah. Right here. - Right. Yeah, I got it.
我吃过午饭了 哪一版
Yes, I ate lunch. What section?
这都是关于我的
Oh, wow. This is all about me.
等等 这都是关于我的
Wait. This is all about me.
没错
Yes.
不疼 不疼 不疼
Doesn't hurt, doesn't hurt, doesn't hurt.
但很明显上帝看到了
But obviously the gods have seen-
你们在哪
Where are you?
你们在这儿 你们知道现在我想到什么了吗
Ooh. Hi. There you are. Okay. Do you know what's at work here?
曲目 坐标 证据
Pistas. Indicios. Anhaltspunkte.
暗示 它们 它们无处不在
Clues. They're just-they're-they're everywhere.
第一 我本来是不打算赴约的
One, I was thinking of not going on the date
但那些好孩子们
But then the good children..
学院的孩子们
Of, uh, youngstrum academy kindly- you know,
他们说服我去
They-they persuaded me to go.
第二 我的约会对象按时来了
Two, my date duly arrives.
他不但长的帅 还很喜欢我的靴子
And lo, not only is he, uh, muy caliente, but he likes my red boots.
第三 史蒂夫说这会很好
Three, Steve says it would be great...
如果我能跟他一起出差
If I could be on the road with him.
但是 当然 我不能因为我要工作
But, of course, I cannot because I have a job.
第四 不久之后 我发现我没工作了
Four, only days later, I learn I no longer have a job...
很明显这就是答案的
Which is obviously just the final clue
最后一个提示
Leading to the blindingly simple answer
前进 玛丽·霍洛维兹
Onward, Mary Horowitz.
前进 去跟史蒂夫一起
Onward. Go be with Steve.
你说你没工作了是什么意思
What do you mean you don't have a job?
你错过重点了 老爸
Missing the point, father.
线索已经被破解了
Uh, the clues have been deciphered.
我要开始我的旅程了
I must journey forth.
到哪的旅程
Journey forth where?
老爸 你会把我弄疯的
Father, you're making me crazy.
这样就对了 爸爸
Aah. Voil? Papa.
如果是新闻 就会有史蒂夫 再见
If it is news, Steve is there. Auf wiedersehen.
这是哈特曼·休斯从现场发回的报道
This is Hartman Hughes reporting from the edge.
谁看到瓦兹奎兹了吗
Anybody seen Vasquez? Huh?
-谁看到瓦兹奎兹了吗 -没有
- Anybody seen vasquez? - No.
太多小猫来报道这场危险的人♥质♥危机了
Too much of a pussy to come to a dangerous hostage crisis.
30秒倒计时
Thirty seconds.
你只拍左边就好
Just gonna bring you around on the left.
我想拍一点灰尘
Well, I wanna open up on the dust,
那我们就在你右边45度
Then we're gonna hit a 45 up to your right side.
好吧 史蒂夫 那我就去街那边
All right. Steve, but I'm gonna indicate down the street.
我会慢慢从左边过来
I'm gonna come around the left.
-就这里 -10以后你跟宝拉连线
- And right here. - Ten seconds-you're on with Paula.
她仍然对你给她礼品券很生气吗
She still mad at you for giving those jenny craig gift certificates?
5秒倒计时 4秒
And five, Four
实际上我每次都是看着她的屁♥股♥恭维她
Fact I was looking at her ass to begin with is a compliment.
宝拉 我刚到维尔德·威利所在的西部小镇
Paula, i've just arrived at Wild Willy's old western town...
亚利桑那图森的旅游胜地
Beloved tourist attraction in Tucson, Arizona.
在典型的工作日 这条街道本来很繁华
On a typical day, this street would be busy...
很多家庭来这儿体验西部的户外生活
With families eager to enjoy the wild west life experience.
悲哀的是 今天这位叫维尔德·威利的歹徒
Tragically, today, the man who plays Wild Willy the outlaw...
表演得太投入了
Has taken his role to heart...
抓捕了八个工人 并把他们作为人♥质♥
And captured eight of his coworkers, taking them hostage...
控制在大厅里
And holding them in the saloon...
离我现在站的地方只有85码
A mere 85 yards away from where I stand now.
开枪了 宝拉
Shots have been fired, Paula!
我们匍匐前进 史蒂夫
Let's go handheld, Steve!
现在还不清楚谁中枪了
It's unclear at this moment who the shot was intended for...
或者是又死了多少人
Or how many lives have perhaps been lost.
爆♥炸♥新闻 宝拉
Okay. Breaking news, Paula.
出现了首位死亡者
We have a first confirmed kill
一匹马
A horse.
生活在维尔德·威利的西部小镇上的一匹马
One of many that live here at Wild Willy's old western town.
这场悲剧的第一个受害者
First victim of this senseless tragedy.
此刻 我相信
It's at moments like this I'd like to believe that
一定会有属于马的天堂
There's a heaven just for horses-
起伏的草地 丰富的牧草
Rolling meadows, lush grasses...
死去的马的灵魂在来来回♥回♥地飞驰
The spirits of deceased horses galloping to and fro.
长时间的徘徊
Long may you roam...
在天堂 成为高贵的马
In heaven, o noble horse.
没死
Not dead.
那匹马还没有完全死亡 宝拉
And yet, the horse not quite dead, Paula.
还没完全死亡
Not quite dead at all.
这明显是一匹受过训练的马 宝拉
He's apparently a trained horse, Paula.
训练过卧倒
Trained to drop down-
在维尔德·威利的西部枪战时期
During Wild Willy's old west shoot-out routine.
这匹特别的马
This particular horse...
连卡车的内燃机逆火都会伤害到它
Also sensitive to trucks backfiring on route 20.
所以在这场灾难中 它的生还是个恩赐的奇迹
In the midst of tragedy, a blessed miracle.
-停 -该死 史蒂夫 你觉得这好笑吗
-Cut. -Damn it, Steve! Do you think this is funny?
你们能看到马还活着
You guys could see the horse is alive,
还让我说服观众为它默哀
And you're giving me the "bring 'em the tears" signal?
不 不 这才是让观众落泪的暗号♥
No, no. This is the "bring the tears" signal.
这个暗号♥是马站起来了 在飞驰
This is "hey, the horse is up. It's galloping."
你们知道我最喜欢的答案吗
You know my favorite answer?
矽肺病
"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis."
是肺病 到加利福利亚的丰塔纳了
It's a lung disease. Ooh! Fontana, California.
你们知道这里盛产什么吗 不知道吗
Y-you know what they make there? No?
不知道吗 盛产钢铁
No? They make-they make steel.
你们知道钢铁如何锻造出来吗 不知道吗
Yeah. Do you know how they make it? No?
我不会拿整个故事烦你们的
I won't bore you with the whole story
我只讲最精彩的部分
Just the-just the best parts...
就像 就像原料是熔融的生铁
Like- like how it's made from, uh, molten pig iron, which-
这不是大家想的那样
Which does not, as everyone might think,
跟猪什么的有关
Have anything to do with pigs or swines or hogs.
是由烙铁和焦炭制♥造♥的生铁
It's -it's a raw iron made from iron and coke.
我说的焦炭
And by coke, I mean the, uh,
是碳质残渣 不是可乐
Carbonaceous residue, not the-not the cola.
或者鼻粘糖
Or the booger sugar.
这种工艺被一个叫亨利·贝赛麦的英国人改进
It's-it's a method perfected by sir Henry Bessemer, a brit.
阿♥拉♥巴马州有个小镇也叫贝赛麦
Oh, and Bessemer is also a town in Alabama. Yea!
你们知道那里有什么吗 不知道吗
Yep. And you know what they have there? No? No?
希♥特♥勒♥的打字机 希♥特♥勒♥的打字机
Hitler's typewriter. Hitler's typewriter.
那家伙是个混♥蛋♥
That guy was such an asshole.
有谁想去洗手间吗 憋尿对身体不好哦
Anyone up for a potty break? It's not good to hold it.
我们在这停留五分钟
We're gonna take five minutes here.