亚历山大和他最糟糕的一天

简直就是我最倒霉的一天
It was a totally wrecked bad day.
不单单是今天
And it's not just today!
每天 天天如此
It is every single day. Every day!
你们一点都不鸟我 因为你们都比我过的好
You don't even care because your lives are all so perfect!
我们关心 关心 亲爱的
No, we care. We care, honey.
-什么 -甜心
-What? -Sweetie.
大黄蜂飞哪了
Where's Bumble Bee?
被亚历山大杀了 他要哭一晚上咯
Alexander murdered it, so now he's going to cry all night.
-就不能给买♥♥个新的吗 -不行
-Can't you just get him a new one? -No.
没得选 只有大黄蜂
It's only Bumble Bee. It's the only one he likes.
必须得是大黄蜂
It's gotta be Bumble Bee.
我可真受不了
I can't deal with this.
我得去车里练歌♥
I'm going to rehearse in the car.
或许是时候让他把奶嘴戒了
Maybe this is the time to wean him from the pacifier.
亲爱的 你说的倒简单
Honey, easy for you to say.
又不是你整天跟他一起
You're not here with him all day.
愿我去追寻梦想 一个美丽的梦想
Think of a wonderful thought Any merry little thought
像云朵天上飘啊飘
Think of Christmas, think of snow
也像雪花飞啊飞
Think of sleigh bells, off you go
来啊 随我一起飞
Like reindeer in the sky
飞啊飞 飞啊飞
You can fly, you can fly You can fly
安东尼
Anthony?
我感觉没人懂我
I feel like no one understands me.
我啊 我懂你
I do. I get you.
是吗
You do?
是啊 你很不可思议
Yeah. Come on, you're amazing.
真的
Really?
你觉得我不可思议
You think I'm amazing?
实话说 我挺爱你
Honestly, I love you so much.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
我更爱你
I love you more.
才不 是我更爱你
No, I love you more.
别勾引我过去抱你的小屁屁哦
And don't get me started on that cute little butt of yours.
说啥
What?
咋了
What?
为啥要对我说"咋了"
Why are you "what" -ing me?
你什么情况
What's your problem?
-你说啥 -你不知道我很讨厌你吗
-Excuse me? -You know what? You're so annoying.
你能不能哪怕冷静一秒钟
Why can't you just chill out? For one second?
你真讨厌
You're exhausting.
你开玩笑呢
Are you kidding?
西莉娅 抱歉 刚是我的傻♥逼♥弟弟
Sorry, Celia. That was my idiot brother.
西莉娅
Celia?
不会吧
Seriously?
她不接电♥话♥了
Now she won't pick up!
我很担心亚历山大
I'm worried about Alexander.
这些年 他生日派对 所有人都放了他鸽子
I mean, of all the years for everyone to bail on his birthday.
自从有了特雷佛 重新上班后 他总是喜怒无常的
He's been so moody since I had Trevor and started work.
他都12岁了 不用担心
Don't worry about it. He's 12.
每个人这时候都这样
Everybody's moody at that age.
他都12岁了
How's he already 12?
对啊 过得真快
I know. Just happened.
这就是重点 一切都太快了
That's the problem. Everything is just happening so fast.
是啊
Yeah.
这屋子就像个火车站
This house is like a train station.
人们进进出出
Everyone's coming and going...
特雷弗第一句话竟然是爸比
and Trevor's first word was "Fommy."
-我也许听错了 -我不那么想
-Maybe I misheard that. -I don't think you did.
好了 亲爱的
Honey, come on.
家和孩子我全包了
I got the kids covered. I got the house covered.
你在外面赚银子
You're killing it at work.
还有比这更好的了
Things have never been better.
得了吧
Oh, please.
-没有比这更好的了 -是啊
-Never been better? -It's true.
本
Ben...
你都宅家7个月了
you've been unemployed for the past seven months.
有压力吗
Aren't you stressed out?
一点
Yeah. A little bit.
那你为啥不紧张
Why aren't you freaking out more?
紧张能有什么好的
What good would freaking out do?
要有的话 我早就紧张了
Then I'd just be freaked out and unemployed.
明天我会搞定面试的
Tomorrow I'm gonna nail that interview.
马到成功
Big day tomorrow.
现在是12:01 梅尔文
It's 12:01, Melvin.
我生日
It's my birthday.
你在这世上感觉到孤独吗
You ever feel alone in the world?
我就是想让他们明白
I just wish they understood!
只是想让他们知道
I just wish they knew what it felt like...
可怕 糟糕又倒霉的一天是个什么样子
to have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!
你们貌似该起床了
Shouldn't you guys be up?
谁把闹钟按了
Who hit snooze?
-现在几点了 -到底谁按的
-What time is it? -Who hit snooze?
-早上了 -好好 快点
-It's morning. It's morning. -Okay, okay. Go, go, go.
-我得洗个澡 -好 快去
-I have to take a shower. -All right. Okay, okay.
好啦 没事儿
All right, okay. All right.
尿不湿死哪去啦
Does anyone know where the diapers are?
有人
I'm in here!
亲爱的
Honey?
你咋了 没事吧你
Wow! You look terrible. Are you okay?
不 我很不好 彼得·潘是不能感冒的 老爸
No, I'm not okay. Peter Pan can't have a cold, Dad.
好
Okay.
操
Come...
真糟
Harsh.
老弟 我要冲澡
Bro, I gotta take a shower.
我必须去学校 西莉娅不会给我打电♥话♥了
I gotta get to school. Celia won't call me back.
不 别这样啊 尤其是今天
No! No way, not today!
滚出去
Get out, dude.
出去
Get out!
为啥要今天 真糟糕
Why today? This is the worst day! No!
我要晚了 艾米丽
I am so late. Emily?
我要拿剃刀 亲爱的
I'm coming in for a razor, honey.
-妈妈 -老妈
-Mom! -Mom!
-老妈 出去啊 -对不起
-Mom, get out! -I'm sorry!
对不起 我穿裤子好了
Sorry. Sorry. I'll wear pants!
操
Mother!
-早上好啊 -跟你自己打招呼吧
-Good morning. -Speak for yourself.
-老爸 -啥事
-Dad? -Yeah!
特雷弗在放水 尿布呢
Trevor's peeing! Where's his diaper?
我也在找
I'm looking!
小寿星好啊
There's the birthday boy.
好 来这
Okay, come here.
你今天得开心呢 知道吗
Okay, you know what? I want you to have a great day.
你又长大了
You are the captain of your ship.
积极 开朗 乐观一点
Steer your ship with positivity.
拜托
Come on!
你们到底什么情况
What is wrong with you people?
安东尼
Anthony!
老爸 你没事吧
Dad, are you okay?
看看 你都长大了
Look, you're older already.
抱歉 我得走了 今儿有个大任务
I'm sorry, honey, I have to run. I have a huge event...
脚疼死了 我要晚了
and my foot is killing me. I'm already late.
本 尿不湿
Ben, put a diaper on it.
我们晚上一起庆祝 好吗
We'll celebrate tonight, okay?
我在找呢
I'm trying.
艾米丽
Emily!
艾米丽 艾米丽
Emily? Emily!
你忘了关车灯 亮了一晚上
You left the light on in my car all night.
没电啦
The battery's dead.
我在车里练歌♥ 都冻感冒了 我也是受害者
I'm the one who had to rehearse in a cold car, and now I'm sick!
彼得·潘
Peter Pan!