意外杀手2：杀手假期（2022）

不，不，你没有错。
No, no, you're not wrong.
这真的是一个疯狂的杀手小丑
That really is a maniacal killer clown
试图用棍子上的砖头砸我的头。
trying to smash my head in with a brick on a stick.
那么我是如何发现自己处于这种境地的呢你问。
So how did I find myself in this situationYou ask.
好吧，为此...我需要带你回去。
Well, for that... I'm gonna need to take you back.
你曾经度假过
You ever been on holiday
而你只是想在阳光下喝酒，
and you're just trying to drink in some sunshine,
喝一瓶或 12 瓶啤酒，
knock back a beer or 12,
只为淹没了属于自己的那一小片香格里拉
only to have your own little slice of Shangri-la drowned out
由一群旋转的药丸头组成
by a gyrating colony of gurning pillheads
嗯，我有。
Well, I have.
我在这里责怪那些像这个一样的 iPod shuffle DJ dickheads。
I blame those iPod shuffling DJ dickheads like this one here.
我可以吵点吗
Can I have some noise
这些螺旋是他妈的狗屎。给我更好的，更大的。
These spirals are fucking shit. Give me something better, something bigger.
别以为这是个好主意，老板。
Don't think that's a good idea, boss.
气体压力太大。可能是丹——
There's too much gas pressure. It could be dan--
现在做。 DJ Remy 不喜欢一直等待。
Do it now. DJ Remy doesn't like to be kept waiting.
任何。
Whatever.
-我们可以走了。 -该死的时间。
-We're good to go. -The fucking time.
谁准备好迎接一些大乐队了
Who's ready for some big bands
我们可以起飞吗三、二、一……
Can we have a liftoffIn three, two, one...
所以当这个特别的 DJ 白♥痴♥的发起人
So when this particular DJ dickhead's promoter
决定悬赏他的头
decided to put a bounty on his head
因为他与比赛签约，
because he signed with the competition,
我非常乐意接受。
I was more than happy to oblige.
是的，这是一份肮脏的工作。
Yeah, it's a dirty job.
-但万一你忘记了...
-But in case you've forgotten...
...我很高兴得到我的手
...I'm happy to get my hands
以合适的价格流血污秽。
bleeding filthy for the right price.
如果有一件事我认为我们都可以达成一致，
And if there's one thing I think we can all agree on,
是不是有些混♥蛋♥真的该死。
is that some arseholes really do deserve to die.
在伦敦发生的事情之后，我需要保持低调。
Needed to keep my head down after what happened back in London.
所以我抓起我的假护照和糟糕的信♥用♥卡♥，直奔希思罗机场
So I grabbed my fake passports, and dicky credit cards, rode straight to Heathrow
跳上第一班飞往任何地方的航♥班♥，
and hopped on the first flight to anywhere,
原来是马耳他，
which turned out to be Malta,
这对于一些古老的灵魂探索来说非常棒。
which was great for a bit of the old soul searching.
不过我不得不承认，
I've got to confess, though,
我知道后有点生气
I was a bit pissed off when I found out
Maltesers 甚至不是来自这里，
that Maltesers weren't even from here,
他们甚至不流血'卖♥♥'他们...
and they don't even bleedin' sell 'em...
这是马耳他！
This is Malta!
……胡说八道。
...which is bullshit.
但是，除此之外，我非常喜欢这个小小的地中海果酱。
But, that aside, I bloody love this little Mediterranean jam.
太阳总是照耀着。啤酒自♥由♥流动。
The sun always shines. The beer flows freely.
与中东、欧洲和北非仅一步之遥，
And with the Middle East, Europe, and North Africa just a puddle jump away,
我可以在迪拜撞到人，
I can bump someone off in Dubai,
并在当天的比赛开始前回家。
and be back home before match of the day starts.
是啊是啊是啊是啊
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
是的，是的，是的，是的，是吗
Aa, aa, aa, aa
哦好的。
Oh, okay.
我有一种感觉，今晚会是这样。
I had a feeling it was going to be tonight.
所以让我们他妈的拥有它！
So let's fucking have it!
好的。是的。
Good. Yeah.
哇，哇，哇，耶稣基♥督♥，
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jesus Christ,
电视是全新的，还可以！拿住！
it's a brand new TV, it is still okay! Hold it!
仍然有八集 Bake Off 要看。
Still got eight episodes of Bake Off to watch.
-喂！ -火烈鸟！
-Hiyah! -Flamingo!
火烈鸟，火烈鸟！
Flamingo, flamingo!
天哪，小玲！
Jesus Christ, Siu-ling!
你得到报酬是为了粉碎我，而不是公♥寓♥。
You're paid to smash me up, but not the apartment.
我的意思是，看看这个地方的状态。这是一个烂摊子。
I mean, look at the state of this place. It's a rotten mess.
你需要早点说安全话
You need to say the safe word sooner
如果你想让我停下来。你以为我会读
if you want me to stop. You think I can read
你的想法还是什么
your mind or something
你这个笨蛋！
You stupid!
但是，正如你所看到的，她有一些严重的愤怒管理问题，
But, as you can see, she's got some serious anger management issues,
在她的尾巴上被正确的血腥刺痛。
and a right bloody sting in her tail.
再加上，她可能是
Add to this, she's probably
我曾经纠缠过的最好的武术家。
the best martial artist I've ever tangled with.
嘿，放开我！
Hey, get off me!
我第一次见到她是在她
I first met her when she was
当地潜水酒吧的女服务员。
a waitress at the local dive bar.
现在，显然，她长大了
Now, apparently, she grew up
在香港的主要街道上
on the main streets of Hong Kong
是伟大的黄飞鸿的后裔。
and is a descendant of the great Wong Fei-hung.
比我吃过热腾腾的晚餐还要精通更多的武术。
Skilled in more martial disciplines than I've had hot dinners.
如果她早上从错误的床边起床，
If she gets out of the wrong side of bed in the morning,
不知道她能造成什么样的伤害。
there's no telling what damage she's capable of.
打扰一下。
Excuse me.
他们在这里付给你多少钱
How much they're paying you here
想加薪
Wanna a raise
我不会说粤语。
I don't speak Cantonese.
你在说什么用英语说。
What are you sayingSay it in English.
混♥蛋♥！
Motherfucker!
你需要说出来，法♥伦♥。你知道这笔交易。
You need to speak up, Fallon. You know the deal.
你不会说“火烈鸟”，我不会停下来。
You don't say "Flamingo," I don't stop.
我以为我们同意了，对，没有疯子。
And I thought we agreed, right, no nut shots.
你是否记得嗯，你做了什么
Do you remember thatWell, what did you do
你试图将它们送入轨道。你还做了什么
You tried to put them up into orbit. And what else did you do
你打碎了我花盆上流血的花瓶。
You smashed the bleeding vase off my pots.
看看那该死的电视。你疯了吗
Look at the bloody TV. You're out of your mind
防守，你这个笨蛋！你需要时刻保护自己。
Defense, you idiot! You need to defend yourself at all times.
不要碰我。
Don't touch me.
好吧，听着，你得帮我清理这个地方，
Well, look, you're going to have to help me clean this place up,
因为我一个人做不到，没时间——
because I can't do it on my own, haven't got time--
什么你自己清洗。
WhatYou clean it yourself.
我不是你的女仆。我不在这儿
I'm not your maid. I'm not here
清洁你的脏床单。
to clean your dirty sheets.
我是来打架的。而已！
I come here to fight. That's it!
现在，我的钱在哪里，gweilo
Now, where is my money, gweilo
美好的。
Fine.
很好，很好。
Good, fine.
大概下周中旬见吧
Probably see you middle of next week, then, yeah
也许。或者，也许你会早点见到我。
Maybe. Or maybe you'll see me sooner.
你永远不会知道。再见。
You never know. Bye-bye.
我得说实话。我失去了应有的睡眠
I gotta be honest. I lost my fair share of sleep
关于我在英国对我的朋友所做的事情。
over what I did to my mates back in England.
我有时想知道我是否每周都被小玲踢
I sometimes wonder if me taking a weekly kicking from Siu-ling
不只是另一个培训课程，更像是我在忏悔
isn't just another training session and more like me paying penance
对于我所坚持的所有内疚。
for all that guilt I'm holding on to.
滚出我的酒吧。
Get the fuck out of my pub.
啊，嗯，就是那个时候。这是现在。
Ah, well, that was then. This is now.
反正我一个人过得更好。
I'm better off alone anyway.
是我，我自己，从现在开始他妈的我。
It's me, myself, and fucking I from now on.
没有伙伴，没有鸟，
No mates, no birds,
没有心怀不满的刺客父亲形象，
no disgruntled assassin father figure,
没有人让我失望或妨碍我。
and no one to let me down or get in my way.
-走吧。 -让我走！
-Just leave. -Let go of me!
- 葛 - 得到他的腿。
-Ge-- get his legs.
-某人……别管我！
-Someone... Leave me alone!
-弗雷德
-Fred
今晚炒！
Fry tonight!
-拉屎。
-Shit.
-弗雷德，你好像走错了路。
-Looks like you pissed down the wrong alley, Fred.
麦克风！你在这里做什么
Mike! What are you doing here
-我觉得你是对的。 -来吧。
-I think you're right. -Come on.
哦！
Oh!
幸运的是你出现的时候出现了。
Lucky you turned up when you did.
- 我正准备做另外两个。 -是的，看起来像。
-I was just about to do the other two. -Yeah, looked like it.
所以你为什么不告诉我你在中间做什么
So why don't you tell me what you're doing in the middle