上班族妈妈

准备好出发了吗
Hey, you ready to go?
-你脸上那是什么 -妆容
- What's on your face? - Makeup.
-看起来很蠢吗 -有点
- Does it look stupid? - Kinda.
爱丽丝
Alice!
我专程过来接你去这个派对
I came all this way to drive you to this party.
算了吧 我不想去了
Whatever. I don't wanna go anymore.
-什么 怎么了 -没什么
- What? What's wrong? - Nothing.
我只是不想去了 行吗
I just... don't wanna go, okay?
-怎么着 -别跟我说"怎么着"
- What? - Don't "what" me.
-够了 把手♥机♥给我 -别
- That's it, give me the phone! - Don't!
你为什么不告诉我发生了什么
Why won't you just tell me what's going on?
你为什么不想去派对了
Why don't you wanna go to the party?
他们都管我叫荡♥妇♥
They're all calling me a slut!
你说什么
Excuse me?
职场老妈
第四季 第七集
爱丽丝 你必须去那个派对
All right, Alice, you are going to that party
因为你掌控着权力
because you hold the power.
掌控权力意味着
And the best part about having power
你来发号♥施令 你来做决定
is that you get to call the shots, make the choices.
没错 现在我正在考虑
Yes, exactly. Like right now I'm making the choice
不对你妈妈的奇怪妆容作出评价
not comment on how insane your mother looks.
你已经评价完了
You literally just did.
你今早是去试镜《魔女游戏》了吗
Did you audition for "The Craft" this morning?
得了吧 你觉得这样很酷吧
Come on, you think this is cool.
我们现在先解决爱丽丝的事
Let's just focus on Alice right now?
-好吧 -好
- Fine. - Okay.
你想让这件事结束
You wanna to this end,
你就得掌控舆♥论♥
you gotta change the conversation.
-把你手♥机♥给我 -为什么
- Now give me your phone. - Why?
因为我们要看完这些肮脏的言论
Because we are gonna read all those dirty messages
而你要让他们闭嘴
and you are gonna shut them down.
这是为了你好
It's for your own good.
第一条
Okay, the first one:
"你真的让史蒂文尿在你的屁♥股♥里了吗"
"Is it true you let Steven pee in your butt?"
什么东西
The hell?
好吧 这有点恶心
Okay. That's gross!
你对此有什么想说的
Um, what do you have to say about that?
-没人在我屁♥股♥里尿尿 -当然
- No one peed in my butt. - Yes. Obviously.
但是你回复的语气得让他们觉得
But you gotta spin this to make them feel like
你在用他们的话来反击他们
you're using their words against them.
好吧
Okay. Um...
"或许你才是厕所 因为你满嘴喷粪"
"Maybe you're the toilet, 'cause you're full of shit!"
这很好 很好
Hmm. Yeah. That's good. That's good.
我没感受到被伤害
Okay. Fine. I mean, I'm not hurting,
-但这是个好的开始 -我来读一条
- but... good start. - Let me try.
好
All right.
克里斯蒂说 "我表哥告诉我
Okay. Christie says: "My cousin told me
如果你给别人打飞机 你的胸会变大
that if you jerk off guys your boobs'll get bigger.
这是你给史蒂文打飞机的原因吗"
Is that why you jerked off Steven?"
这种说法根本就说不通
No. This literally makes no sense.
这孩子是奶♥子♥精灵吗
Now what is that kid like a boob genie?
你把他撸射了之后 奶♥子♥就会突然变大吗
You just rub one out, and poof... cans?
-太好笑了 -傻子
- Ridiculous. - Stupid.
你怎么回应
Okay. What do you say?
我没这么做
Well, I didn't do that...
但如果这么做能让胸变大的话
but if that gave you big boobs
克里斯蒂就会变成D杯
Christie would have double D's!
没错 因为克里斯蒂才是那个打飞机...
Yeah, because Christie is going around jerking off--
行了 这句话已经暗示了
Okay. It's implied. It's implied.
给我
Give me this.
史蒂文写到 "如果你今晚过来 我们能
Steven writes: "Maybe if you come tonight, we can...
再做一次爱"
have sex again?"
不 不是
No! No!
因为我们从没做过
Because we never did that!
如果你觉得和女孩亲嘴就算做♥爱♥ 那很抱歉
And I'm sorry that you think sex is kissing a girl,
你这个射♥精♥的小屁孩
You stupid jizz baby!
我们去派对吧
Let's go to a party!
走吧 宝贝
Come on, baby!
你没问题的
You got this.
她没问题的 我们走
Okay, she's got this. Let's go.
如果她不行的话 我的包里常备有防狼喷雾
Yep, and if she doesn't I always have pepper spray in my purse.
你说什么
What did you say?
等等 就是他
Oh wait that's him.
你好啊 爱丽丝
Choo choo, Alice.
拜托 你根本没胆[蛋]上我这列车
Please. You don't have the balls to ride this train.
-好样的 -羞辱他
- Atta girl! - Humiliate him!
你妈妈给你洗弄脏的裤子
Is your laundry machine pregnant
有没有让洗衣机怀孕啊
from all the crusty khakis your mom washes?
去你♥妈♥的♥
Man, fuck you.
不可理喻 这个臭小子 不可理喻
Unbelievable, this guy. Unbelievable.
-安妮 -什么鬼
- Anne! Hey... - What the hell!
-我们还是溜吧 -我们得走了 跑跑跑
- Maybe we should go! - We gotta go. Go-go-go-go!
你做得很棒 孩子
You're doing so great, buddy.
-接着系 给妈妈看看 -好 就这样
- Keep going. Show mommy. - Okay, just--
-这就对了 -你行的 查理 专注点
- There you go. - You got it, Charlie. Focus.
如果你把这边向左打开一点
If you open this side to the left a little--
-凯特 别帮他 -好 对不起
- Kate, stop helping him. - Okay. I'm sorry.
他整个周末都是自己系的
He's been doing it all weekend by himself.
对 在我去纽约的时候
Oh, right. While I was in New York.
没错 在你去纽约的时候
Yes, while you were in New York.
做得好 内森
Oh, well, great job, Nathan.
在我费尽心思想留住真航这个客户的时候
Thrilled you've made such progress with buttons
你在系扣子方面取得这么大的进步
while I was bending over backwards to get Tru Air
-我感到很激动 -凯特
- to stick around-- - Kate,
心理医生说过必须让他自己做
the therapist said you have to let him do it on his own.
拜托 不会因为我帮他一次
Oh, come on. He's not gonna be some pant-less hobo,
他就变成30岁还穿着尿布不♥穿♥裤子的流浪汉
still rocking a diaper in his 30s if I help him once!
来 查理 把裤子穿上 好吗
Okay? Come on, Charlie, pants on. Okay?
瞧 你现在就是在告诉他他什么都做不了
Okay. See. Right now you're telling him he's incapable.
不 我是在告诉他 我很着急
No, I'm telling him that I'm in a rush.
时间管理也是一项技能
Time management: also a skill.
我们一会儿再系扣子 好吗 孩子
We'll work on buttons later. Okay, buddy?
他只需要你相信他
He just needs you to believe in him.
是的 我需要他赶紧坐在车后座上
Yeah. Well, I need his ass in the back of my car,
否则我们就赶不上公交了
or we're gonna miss the bus,
然后查理就不能去摘草莓了
and then Charlie is not gonna get to go strawberry picking.
现在你开始担心错过活动了
Oh now you're worried about missing things,
错过我们的旅行也没看你这么担心过
you didn't seem so concerned about missing our trip.
天呐 你知道吗
Oh, for God sakes! You know what?
维系[穿好]我们的感情[裤子]不是我的责任
I cannot be responsible for keeping the pants on our relationship.
保持[系好]我们的婚姻[鞋带]也不是我的责任
For tying the shoe laces of our, of our marriage!
拉好拉链...
For zipping the zipper on the --
-这个类比太累人了 -是你太累人了
- This analogy is exhausting. - You're exhausting!
送埃拉去幼儿园 轮到你去了 我得走了
Get Ella to daycare! It's your turn. I gotta go.
好了 小猴子 走了
It's okay, Monkey, let's go!
-走了 走了 -拜 小伙 我爱你
- Let's go. Let's go. - Good bye, buddy. I love you.
-爸爸会... -天呐
- And your daddy can be-- - Oh my God.
但愿我不会什么事都帮你做
God forbid I help you with anything!
喂 罗茜
Hey Rose.
克雷格打电♥话♥过来了 我现在帮你转接
I've got Craig on the line, connecting you now.
谢谢
Thank you.
-克雷格 你好吗 -我好吗
- Craig, how are you? - How am I?
凯特 你没看到新闻吗
Kate, have you not seen the news?
没有 我一直在忙扣子的事
No, I've been a little preoccupied with buttons.
什么 凯特
What? Kate,
一名高中篮球员喝了6罐事后啤酒
a high school basketball player drank six cans of Après
然后冲到了马路上
and ran into traffic!
我的天呐 他死了吗
Oh my God, did he die?!
没有 但他说他喝这么多
No, but he said he drank that much
是因为他想和他最喜欢的球员
because he wanted to win just like his favorite player,