上班族妈妈

-为什么 你手坏了吗 -好没礼貌啊
- Why, your hands broken? - How rude.
你可以叫她的名字试试
Well, you could try using her name.
我会的 但我不知道她的名字
Well, I would but I don't know it.
我不敢相信我们竟然被那个家伙吸引过
I can't believe we were ever attracted to that guy.
-我们吗 -是你 他可真是个混♥蛋♥
- We? - You. He's such a jerk.
-我知道 -是啊
- I know. - Yeah.
你去给克雷格打电♥话♥告诉他
Would you call Craig and tell him
我今天会去见他
I'm gonna come to him today?
我要去好好发泄一下
I'm gonna go blow off some steam.
爽
Yes, ooh.
-我要的就是这个 -我也是
- Oh I needed that. - Oh me too.
我的天啊
Oh my God.
我们要像现在这样保持新鲜感
We gotta keep it fresh like this, you know,
就在车里 公园里做
just cars, parks,
偶尔去移♥动♥厕所里做
the occasional Port-A-John.
为什么不换换花样
Why stop there,
我们应该去狂欢节做 然后收门票
we should do it at a carnival and charge admission.
我不想让我们把彼此视为理所应得
I just don't want us to take each other for granted.
我也不想
Hey, me neither.
你准备好参加今晚的活动了吗
So you feeling ready for tonight?
做好了 我准备好做菠菜起司蘸酱的材料了
I think so, I got all the ingredients for my spin dib,
我会带几瓶红酒
I'm gonna grab some wine,
你还想在暖房♥派对上提供其他的东西吗
what else are you supposed to serve at these housewarming things?
我的意思是你会感到紧张吗
I guess I meant more like do you feel nervous?
-不会 我该紧张吗 -不 不
- Not really, should I be? - No, no.
只是 这算是我们的官宣派对
It's just, it's sort of like our coming out party.
我们的朋友已经知道我们在一起几个月了 所以
Our friends know we've already been together for months, so.
是啊 他们已经知道了
No, yeah, they know that already
因为我们现在的感情很牢固
'cause we're in this together, solid.
是啊
Yeah.
如果他们不这么想 就去他们的 对吧
And screw 'em if they think otherwise, right?
-你没事吧 -没事 我很好
- You okay? - Yeah, no, I'm good,
我很好
I am good.
如果我继续和我偷♥情♥的老公在一起
我还会受到尊重吗
请原谅我迟到了 好吗
Oh, can you forgive me for being late?
我办公室窗户外有两只鸟在打架
These two birds were fighting outside my office window
我猜肯定是因为私人恩怨
and I could tell it was personal.
有没有一只鸟被另一只打死
Did one of the birds kill the other bird?
什么 不 你难道不知道
What? No, no, have you no idea,
-鸟儿们是怎样交流的吗 它们 -我知道
- how birds communicate, they - Oh no, no I do, I do.
它们
They uh,
它们通过鸟喙交流
they speak with their beaks.
这次的转变对你们影响怎样
How has the shift been for you, guys?
老上将会担心公众对这次转变的接受度吗
Is Admiral concerned how the public will take the transition?
你开玩笑吗
Are you kidding?
他们是全国最大的啤酒公♥司♥
Biggest beer company in the country
而且是我让他们在啤酒里放大♥麻♥
and I pitched them on putting weed inside their beer.
天才
Genius.
整个公♥司♥的声誉
Oh the reputation of this entire company
都在我肩上 凯特 你无法想象
is on my shoulders, Kate, you can't imagine.
其实我可以想象
I can imagine actually.
我能理解那种害怕别人
I know what it's like to worry that people
会因为你的一个选择而不尊重你
will respect you less for a choice you've made.
-是的 -你还是那个你
- Yes. - You're still you, you know,
你最聪明的地方在于 你会坚持你的立场
and the smartest thing you can do, stand your ground,
让公众知道你依然还是那个混♥蛋♥
let the public know you're still the same bad ass.
也许他们会担心
Maybe they're worried that like, you know,
你做了错误的决定
you're making the wrong choice,
或者你退步了
or that you're moving backwards,
他们会把你当成一个变♥态♥
and they think of you as a creep.
等等 什么 你什么意思
Sorry wait, what, what does that mean?
忘了我刚刚说的 你坚持你的立场 好吗
Forget that part. You stay solid, okay?
你的产品很棒
Your product is great,
公众最终会买♥♥单的
and the public will get on board eventually,
他们永远都是这样
they always do.
现在你的任务就是强调立场
Right now your job is to project strength.
为强调立场干杯
hey, to projecting strength.
敬强调立场
To projecting strength.
你给我们看的这张成绩单
So it's quite the uh, fancy report card
-相当优秀啊 -上面这些"1"代表什么
- you've come up with. - What are all the ones?
很明显代表第一名 内森
Oh, well one is obviously for being number one, Nathan,
最好的
the best.
实际上 "1"是最低分
Actually, one is the lowest score.
还真不容易让人误会
Oh, that seems unnecessarily confusing.
大多数跟他同龄的孩子都能
Most children at his age can
完成三到四个动作
handle a list of up to three, even four action items
而且还是在没有指导的情况下
without requiring step by step instructions.
你们得锻炼他的独♥立♥性
You need to encourage his independence.
试着给他安排一些家务 比如起床后自己收拾床
Try giving him a chore like making his bed every morning.
查理还睡婴儿床
Charlie's still in his crib.
真的吗 他都四岁了
Really? He's four.
他老做噩梦
He gets nightmares.
一做噩梦就整晚都不睡了
Oh yeah, and working with no sleep.
-是的 -然后就会变成我的噩梦
- Yeah. - That's my nightmare, so.
需要的就是这个
Well, that is the process
他们建立自信心的过程
until they grow some confidence.
我知道你们认为这是在帮忙
I know you think you're helping,
但每次你们帮他扣上扣子
but every time you button up for him,
或帮他穿鞋 或把他放进婴儿床
or slide his shoes on, or put him in the crib,
都是在告诉他 我觉得你不聪明
you're saying, I don't think you're smart,
没有能力 没有勇气
or capable, or brave.
该死
Shit.
要不你们先试着问下查理
Why don't you start by having a conversation with Charlie.
我敢打赌他一定很想听到
I bet he would love to hear how excited you are
你们多想他能睡在自己的大床上
about him sleeping in his big boy bed.
这张床怎样 很酷哦
How about this bed, so cool.
-他不会睡这上面的 -他肯定会的
- He's not gonna stay in here. - Of course he is,
他会睡这上面因为这真的是张又酷又舒服的床
he's gonna stay in here cause it's a really cool cozy bed,
是吧 小伙子
right man?
爸爸妈妈得出去了
Look, your mommy and daddy are gonna slip out
然后你会做个超级美梦
now and you're just gonna have super sweet dreams
因为这是一张史上最酷的床
'cause this is the coolest bed anyone's ever seen.
-你可以的 -好吧
- You got this. - Okay, okay.
我来吧
I got it.
不不不 这种事交给爸爸
No, no, no, no, let daddy do his thing.
你过来
Come here you...
你要睡觉了
you're going to bed.
从前有个老太婆住在一只鞋里
"There once was an old woman who lived in a shoe..."
-他睡下了 -干得漂亮
- He's down. - Nicely done.
-我很厉害 对吧 -天
- Seriously good, right? - Oh God.
你不说爸爸搞定吗
What happened to daddy doing his thing?
你营地里的小伙伴们都睡着了
I talked to all your friends at camp, they're all asleep,
如果想追上他们 你得闭上眼睛 好吗
so if you wanna catch up you gotta close your eyes, deal?
你看 当妈妈的天生就有
You see, something mothers are gifted with
谈判的天赋 内森
is the power of negotiations, Nathan,
去查查吧 天哪
look it up. Oh gee.
我们来数羊吧 好吗 宝贝
Let's count some sheep, okay, buddy?
一只羊
One...
42...
67...
69...
别动
Stay.
-凯特 什么要这么久 -没什么
- Kate, what's taking so long? - Nothing.
-你在给他下药吗 -没有
- Are you drugging him? - No.
他对睡觉...过敏
He's allergic um... to sleep.
-而且这不合法 -是啊
- And it wasn't legal. - No.
好吧 合法
Okay, it was.
物色一个愿意干这活的合适人选
Looking for the, the right one who would wanna do it.
-幽默啊 梅尔真幽默 -大家好
- She's funny, Mel's funny. - Hey guys.
你真了不起
I am impressed.
-怎么说 -你邀请了内森
- Why? - That you invited Nathan.
我住这里啊