吸血鬼生活

What We Do in the Shadows S03E08

Part 4 Nov. 8, 2021, 12:42 p.m.

你是来监视我的对吧? -不我只是想..
You're here to spy on me, aren't you? - No, I just wanted--
好! -妈的操
All righty! - Shit. Fuck.
我们来点刺♥激♥的! -耶！
Let's make it hot! Yeah!
那么大家都准备好了吗？
Yes! Who is ready to burn?
开始
Let's do this.
五六七八
Five, six, seven, eight.
上上快点让我刮目相看
Up, up. Come on. Give me something.
小南自然点
Ooh, Nandy, becoming a natural.
漂亮宝贝
Looking good, baby.
漂亮继续
Looking good, come on.
给点火花
Put some stank on it.
停止音乐！
Stop the music!
噢糟糕
Oh, shit.
你..
You...
你是谁？
Who are you?
我我是吉尔莫
Oh, I'm-I'm just Guillermo.
你♥他♥妈♥的在这里干什么吉尔莫？
What the fuck are you doing here, Guillermo?
我只是..
Um, I'm, uh, just...
我不认识他
I don't know him.
只是在锻炼身体
Just working on my fitness.
嗯 -检查他的行李
Mm-hmm. - Check his bags.
那是我的包你不能那么做
Well, that's my bag, so you can't do that.
那是我的私人物品 -噢不你没有告诉我你没有
That's my property. - Oh, no. You didn't. Tell me you didn't.
对就是毛巾之类的
Yeah, just like towels and stuff.
武器！
Weapons!
糟了
Shit. - Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.
不是这样的... 不是这样的
That's just not what it... that's not what it looks like.
我没有... 那只是为了以防万一..
I wasn't gonna-- That was just in case something...
不不不不不不吉尔莫
Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, Guillermo.
我不会伤害任何人
I'm not gonna hurt anyone.
我不会伤害任何人
I'm not gonna hurt anyone.
我的孩子们！
My children!
我的人类同胞们
My fellow human children,
有人潜进来了
we have been infiltrated.
不我... -有个闯入者想毁了我们
No, I'm... - An interloper is here to ruin us.
他是来谋杀我们也是来毁灭我们的梦想的
He is here to kill us and our dreams.
他不能离开这里
He must not leave here.
他会带来更多像他一样的人
He will bring more like him.
我的孩子们我们正在遭受攻击
My children, we are under attack.
我们不能让这个吉尔莫逍遥法外
We cannot let this Guillermo go unpunished.
你做了什么吉尔莫? -捂住你的脸
What did you do, Guillermo? - Cover your face.
什么? -遮住你的脸！
What? - Cover your face!
啊! 啊! -马上！
Ay! Aah! - Now!
快点我们走！
Come on, let's go!
你把大蒜粉涂在我朋友身上！
You covered my friends in garlic powder!
对不起！
I'm sorry!
那是... -快点！
That's... - Come on!
对不起珍妮特
Sorry, Janet.
放手
Hey, let go.
你口袋里有十字架吗？
You have a crucifix in your pocket?
这可不好 -闭嘴! 我们走！
That's not nice. - Shut up! Let's go!
你需要放松！
You need to chillax!
我的朋友们! -这边！
My friends! - This way!
不要伤害我的朋友！
Don't hurt my friends!
你磕到头了吗？
Ow! Did you bang your head?
我不知道他怎么了
I don't know what's come over him.
咪♥咪♥！
Mimi!
咪♥咪♥ 我很抱歉！
Mimi, I'm sorry about this!
快点快点! -放手！
Come on! Come on! - Let go!
对不起咪♥咪♥ -跟着我！
Sorry, Mimi. - Stay with me!
拜托! -你刚刚打了杰里米
Come on! - You just punched Jeremy.
管他杰里米!
Fuck Jeremy!
我们走 -你在干什么！
Let's go. - What are you doing?!
我是来救你的主人 -如果我不是人类
I'm rescuing you, Master. - If I wasn't a human,
我会捏碎你的小♥弟♥弟♥然后把它摔在地上
I'd be crushing your dick and slamming it on the floor.
你本来就不是人类 -放开我啊好痒
You're not a human. - Get off me! Ah! That tickles.
你被洗♥脑♥了
You've been brainwashed.
你要带我去哪儿？
Where are you taking me?
我要带你回家！
I'm taking you home!
我不想在这里我想和简在一起！
Don't want to be out here. I want to be in there with Jan!
你想和我们一起回家上车
You want to be home with us. Get in the van.
那才是你想要的好吗
That's where you want to be, okay?
我不需要拯救
I didn't need rescuing.
我在那玩得很开心
I was having a great time back there
直到你出现把所有人都打得落花流水
till you came and kicked everyone's ass.
他们想杀我
They were trying to kill me!
他们拔掉了所有的尖牙
They pulled all their fangs out.
没有人会咬你
No one's going to bite you.
我们都是温和善良的人
We're a gentle people, a gentle human people.
你不是人类主人！
You're not a human, Master!
我不是? 那你怎么解释这个？
I'm not? Then how do you explain this?
♪ 你看着我已经一个星期了
♪ It's been one week since you looked at me♪
♪ 把你的头歪向一边说 “我很生气”
♪ Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"♪
♪ 自从你嘲笑我已经五天了♪
♪ Five days since you laughed at me.♪
我整首歌♥都会
I know the whole fucking song.
我得说那真是个该死的人类你说呢？
I'd say that was pretty gosh-darn human, wouldn't you?
你被洗♥脑♥了
You've been brainwashed.
被洗♥脑♥了被洗♥脑♥了
Brainwashed, "shmain-washed."
这正是简警告我们的
You know, this is exactly what Jan warned us
那些无神论者会指责我们
that the nonbelievers would accuse us of.
你被洗♥脑♥了不过没关系
You've been brainwashed, but it's okay,
因为我们要给你洗♥脑♥
because we are going to deprogram you.
住手算了吧
Stop. Let it go.
你就没想过听我说！听我说
Did you not think for a second-- Listen to me!
你有曾想过我
Did you ever consider for one moment
可能几十年来第一次感到前所未有的快乐？
that I might be happy for the first time in decades?
几十年了！
Decades!
我找到了属于我的地方
That I found somewhere where I feel that I belong.
这让我觉得自己很有价值很强大
That makes me feel useful and powerful
以我从未感受过的方式
in ways I've never felt.
从来没过！
Never!
700年来都没有
Not in 700 years.
你有没有想过？
Did you ever consider that?
没有 -没
No. - No.
现在我要做的是
So what I'm going to do now is
我要下车
I'm going to get out of this car,
我要去叫辆出租车或者公交车
and I'm going to go and get a taxi or a bus
或者地铁或者优步
or subway or Lyft or Uber,
我要回到我的人类社区
and I'm gonna go back to my human community.
就是这样
And that is that.
你什么时候在这个小破地方安装了
When did you install silver rope-lined seat belts
银色的座位安全带？
in this little shitbox?
对不起主人这是为了你好
Sorry, Master. It's for your own good.
各位各位
You guys, you guys.
喘口气孩子
Catch your breath, boy.
我想我做了一些非常激烈的事情
I think I did something really drastic.
噢你在你的小鸡鸡上打了个洞？
Oh, you pierce your pee-pee?
没有但是... -给你的小♥弟♥弟♥纹身？
No, but-- Tattoo your pee-pee?
你们... -跟我们说说你的小鸡鸡
You guys-- - Tell us more about your pee-pee.
你从来没这么有趣过
You've never been so interesting.
别再说我的小鸡鸡了好吗？
Stop talking about my pee-pee, okay?
我没有对我的小♥弟♥弟♥做任何事！
I didn't do anything to my pee-pee!
得了就相信我的做的
Okay, just trust that what I did
我不得不这么做你相信我吗？
I had to do, okay? Do you trust me?
不不不
No. No. No.
那他妈的是谁? 喔天啊恶心！
Who the fuck is that? Oh, my-- ew!
搞什么？
What the hell?
我得说他被洗♥脑♥了
I'd say he's been brainwashed.
行了柯林鲁宾逊
Right, okay, Colin Robinson,
去议会图书馆看看有没有
go to the council library and see if there's