虚度光阴（2016）

第一季 第四集
I've always wanted to be the Berry Man.
我就一直想要当浆果人
Half man, half tree.
半人 半树
Utterly pure of sin and immune to all temptation.
全无罪恶 不受诱惑
Why are you so obsessed with the Berry Man?
你为什么对浆果人这么着迷
It's just some toss pot in a costume. Alison!
不就是个穿着戏服的醉汉而已 Alison
The Berry Man Festival is a Neston tradition.
浆果人节是内斯顿的传统
It's been going on for hundreds of years.
几百年来一直都有啊
Yeah, so's Fast & Furious. It doesn't mean it's any good.
<速度与激♥情♥>也一样 并不代表那就不烂了
That is absolute blasphemy.
那完全是渎神
I'm skipping the fete this year. What?
我今年不去游乐会了 什么
We always get pissed together. It's not that fun, though, is it?
可是我们一直是一起去喝酒的 但是挺没劲的 是吧
I thought you two had plenty of fun last year.
我以为你们俩去年玩得挺欢的
Behind the petting zoo.
在宠物园后面
Alison, you'll get pissed with me, right?
Alison 你会跟我一起去醉酒的吧
Love to, I promised I'd do this charity tarot tent
我想去来着 但是我答应了要去帐篷里解塔罗牌
for cancer or some shit.
为癌症还是什么鬼病筹善款
Fuck's sake! Does nobody want to get pissed with me?
卧♥槽♥ 就没人想跟我一起喝酒吗
I will, good sir, but only after...
我跟你一起 但是得在
You wank yourself off to the dance of the Berry Man?
在你对着浆果人舞蹈自♥慰♥完以后
He's an ancient wood spirit and utterly chaste,
他是个古老的树灵 可纯洁了
so he wouldn't appreciate a wank.
他可不会喜欢有人自♥慰♥
So fucking joke's on you, isn't it?
出洋相的可是你
Think that barmaid will be on the kissing booth again this year?
你觉得那个酒吧女招待今年还会负责亲吻亭吗
No, she did it last year,
不会 她去年弄过头了
and put it this way - Co-op found out some Zovirax.
这么给你说吧 警♥察♥找到了"药"
Great turnout on the scarecrows this year, Verian. Oh, thanks.
今年稻草人弄得不错啊Verian 谢谢
Listen, a bit of a disaster.
听着 出了点乱子
You know Terry Bennett bought all those llamas? Alpacas, yeah.
你们知道Terry Bennett买♥♥了好多羊驼吧 草泥马对吧
Well, they got into Mockers' field and,
羊驼跑进Mocker家的地里了
basically, they've killed his horse.
把他的马给弄死了
Oh, he loved that horse.
噢 他可喜欢那匹马了
I know. Mark's distraught and he's pulled out, so...
我知道 Mark心烦意乱 他退出了
You mean we don't have a Berry Man?
你的意思是 我们现在没有浆果人了
You can't have a Berry Man festival without a Berry Man. I know.
没有浆果人怎么算是浆果人节呢 就是说啊
It hasn't happened since 1795. 1795.
1795年以来就再没发生这样的事了 1795年
Fucking hell, guys! What are we going to do? I don't know.
完蛋了 我们怎么办啊 我不知道
I was going to ask you if you'd do it, Morpheus.
我想问问 你能不能当浆果人 Morpheus
Me?
我
Yes! Ooh! Fucking...fucking yes!
好 我勒个去 当然好了
High five. No, fuck it - high ten.
击个掌 去他的 击双掌
Come and see me about the...fucking costume.
一会儿来找我 商量一下该死的服装
Yes! Bosh!
太好了 棒呆
You're in there, mate. What? Verian?
你有戏啊 谁 Verian吗
Well, obviously I won't be pursuing that. Why?
我才不会追她呢 为什么
Cos you're saving yourself for Alison? No, I don't fancy Alison.
你要为Alison守身如玉吗 才不是 我不喜欢她
Why? Has she said something? Of course she fucking hasn't.
你为什么这么说 她说什么了吗 她当然没有
She never will, so just go over there and sausage Verian.
她永远也不会对你感兴趣的 所以你还是去讨好Verian吧
I will not be sausaging anyone.
我才不要撩任何人
Because I've been charged
因为我现在可是承担了
with the sacred office of the Berry Man.
浆果人的神圣职责
And I will not abuse that power.
我是不会滥用这项权力的
Innit just dressing up like a twat and mooching about?
不就是穿成个傻♥逼♥ 然后到处乱逛吗
He's an ancient wood spirit!
他可是个古老的树灵
Closed.
我们关门了
Sorry. I just need some milk for this little guy.
不好意思 我只是想给这个小家伙要点牛奶
He's a common pipistrelle bat.
是个伏翼蝙蝠
He's hurt his wing so I'm
它的翅膀受伤了
nursing him back to health. It's what I do.
我得照顾它恢复健康 我就是干这个的
I rescue bats.
拯救蝙蝠
I have, uh, soya milk. It's for my brother. Stops him farting.
我有豆奶 给我哥喝的 他喝了不会放屁
Oh, no. It's got to be dairy. I can buy you some.
不行 必须得是乳制品 我可以给你买♥♥点
I can go to the shop right now and
我现在就去商店买♥♥
bring it to you in your house. Where's your house?
然后送到你家 你家在哪啊
Well, I'd only come if I was invited. Am I invited?
当然 你邀请我我才去 你邀请我吗
It's not like I need an invite. I'm not a vampire.
不是说我得要邀请才能进屋 我又不是吸血鬼
But I would if I had your consent.
但是如果得到了你的允许我会进屋的
I always check for consent.
我一向会征求主人同意的
I'm sure there'll be some at the fete.
游乐园那边肯定会有牛奶的
Perhaps I'll see you there.
我们那边见吧
Top bananas!
好极了
Fuck's sake.
我♥操♥
You all right? Yeah. Fine.
你还好吗 挺好的
Look, I'll catch you later, you know, if I've got the time.
我一会儿去找你啊 如果我有时间的话
Holy shit. I thought you weren't coming. I'm...not. I'm...
卧♥槽♥ 我以为你不来呢 我本来不想来的
I'm just checking out the sexy man at the bat tent.
我就是来勾搭一下蝙蝠帐篷里面的帅哥
You seen him? Yeah, but I
你看见他了吗 看见了
reckon he's got poo under his fingernails.
但是我估计他指甲缝里有粪便啊
Yeah. And I'd clean out every one of them. Eugh.
我给他每个都清理得干干净净
Look after my tent for me while I go for a piss?
帮我看下帐篷 我去上个厕所
No. You tried this last year.
不行 你去年就使过这招了
You'll leave me here while you go and get drunk.
把我扔下 你就去喝酒去了
No, I'm just going to go to the loo. Do you want anything?
我就是去趟厕所 要不要给你带点什么东西
From the loo? Yes.
从厕所带啊 对啊
Get me a cider. From the toilet? Drop the act.
给我带点苹果酒 从厕所带 别装了你
Can you at least show me how you do it?
你至少给我演示一下怎么做吧
So, do you need to ordain me or give me a turban or something?
你要给我任个命 还是给我个头巾什么的
Nah, it's just a load of bollocks.
用不着 就说一堆废话就行了
Just turn over the cards and come up with some bullshit like...
就把卡片翻过来 然后编点话说 比如
"You tried to dodge the fate
"你试着躲避命运
because you're afraid of fucking Kent again."
因为你不想再跟Kent上♥床♥了"
That's what the spirits said.
神灵就是这么说的
Yeah, well, the spirits can go...suck on...my tits, then.
那 神灵就去 吸老娘的奶吧
Now I'm off for that piss.
我去上厕所了
You just winked at the person you're lying to. I'm not lying!
你在骗我还敢对我抛媚眼 我没骗你
Oh. So you came in the end. Yeah. To help Alison.
你最后还是来了 对啊 帮Alison的忙
Give us a turn, then. All right.
给我来测测 好
You got the twat card.
你这张是傻缺卡
It means you're a massive twat.
含义是 你是个大傻缺
Yeah, but you dealt the cards so she who dealt it is the twat.
是你抽的卡 谁抽的谁是傻缺
Yeah, but it's more on
但是更靠近你那边
your side of the table, so you're the twat!
所以你是傻缺
Actually, you're the twat. You're the twat! Fine.
事实上 你才是傻缺 你是傻缺 行了
If I say I'm the twat, can we just please go and get a beer?
如果我承认我是傻缺 你能不能跟我去喝罐啤酒
Let's see what the spirits have to say.
让我们听听神灵怎么说
It says you're a twat again. Nice one.
还是说你是个傻缺 漂亮
Want a beer? Get me a pint.
要不要啤酒 给我带一杯
Will do.
好的
It's looking really, really good.
看起来真是非常不错
It's such an honour to be asked.
叫我做这个真是荣幸
Looking forward to the ceremony?
你期待仪式吗
A gift of food and wine from the villagers.
村民们送来食物和酒
It's more than that, Verian. It's what the Berry Man stands for.
不只是为了这些 Verian 而是浆果人的象征意义
He reminds us there's more
他提醒我们
to life than the basic human vices of greed,
生活不仅仅只有人类的贪婪
desire and...temptation.
欲望 和诱惑
You make it all sound very noble.
你让这些听起来好高尚
I...I'm a bit worried about the face paint.
我有点担心脸上的油彩
I've...I've got some eczema behind... Behind your ear?
我有些湿疹 在耳朵后面吗
Yeah. Me too.
对 我也是
I've actually got some moisturiser. Don't...don't worry about it.
我有保湿霜 不用了 别担心
Really. No, please. I'm fine.
真的 我没事
I don't need any moisturiser. Hey. Honestly, I...
我不用保湿霜
Run me through the itinerary again, yeah?
再给我讲一遍计划吧
Nice, safe, innocent logistics.
顺顺利利的流程
Oh, no, you don't need to worry about that.
这个你不用担心
I'll be right by your side all day, whispering in your ear.
我会一直在你旁边 给你耳语提示
The Berry Man would prefer a printout.
浆果人更喜欢打印出来的资料
Oh, no. It says your bat's going to die!
噢 不 卡片说你的蝙蝠要死了
Really? Oh, God.
真的吗 天哪
Oh, no. No, I'm joking.