虚度光阴（2016）

伙计们 我请客 别傻了
These are on the house. I can pay for my fucking drinks, I'm penguin master
我请客 老子是企鹅大♥师♥ 付得起这酒钱
Bloody hell! Come on. Take a drink from an old friend
我去他妈的 别客气 老朋友请你喝一杯
You're not our friend! You're a fucking Moomin.
你不是我朋友 你♥他♥妈♥是个姆明
Blackwell!
Blackwell
I will have all the shots, please.
请给我所有的酒
He's not even that fit, is he?
他也不是那么帅 是不是
Delete. Delete.
删除 删除
Revenge porn.
复仇A片
Delete.
删除
So...about the holy man.
关于那个神棍
Not sure he was ever right for you.
不知道适不适合你
Maybe I was punching above my weight.
也许是我高估了自己
He's so sophisticated.
他太成熟了
Whatever he is, he's history.
不管怎么样 他是过去式了
I think you should jump straight back on the horse.
我觉得你应该马上重回情场
Maybe a big sturdy horse
找个更大更状的
Like a rebound? Exactly!
像备胎一样 没错
Well, to begin with. It starts with a rebound,and then you slowly realize
一开始是备胎 然后慢慢地你会发现
Right in the holy man's face! What...?
正好当着神棍的面 啥
Sorry, Morph. I just want to see that skinny bastard suffer.
抱歉 Morph 我就想让那个混♥蛋♥难受
Oh, right, see that skinny bastard suffer, yeah.
哦 好吧 让那个混♥蛋♥难受
Could you pretend to be my boyfriend?
你能假装我的男朋友吗
Yes, please. With all of my heart, yes!
好啊 全身心的帮你 我愿意
Cheers Mate
谢啦
So what happens now another kiss? He's coming over.
所以现在该干嘛 再亲一个吗 他走过来了
put your arm on me Ok One arm Got it.
搂着我 好的 一只手就行 好的
Er...
呃
So, you are, um...
所以你现在
with him now. Absolutely.
跟他在一起了 是啊
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
不要针对任何人 怪就怪爱情
In fact, we're engaged. We're not engaged.
其实 我们已经订婚了 没有订婚
We're engaged to be engaged. Mmm.
我们订了要订婚了 嗯
Seems...A bit quick.
挺 快的啊
Actually, Morpheus always had feelings for me, didn't you?
事实上 Morpheus一直对我有意思 是不
Since the first day I met you.
从第一天遇到你就开始了
So there you have it.
所以你就接受现实吧
And I would do anything for her.
我愿意为她做任何事
I would walk through hell for this woman
我愿意为了她赴汤蹈火
and fight Satan in bare-knuckle combat
与撒旦赤手对决
until his fiery hooves tore the skin from my hands!
直到他火热的蹄子烫掉了我手上的皮肤
Fair enough.
好吧
What is wrong with that guy?! I just don't know.
那男人到底什么毛病 我也不知道
He's gone now, mate.
他已经走了
Cool, yeah.
嗯 好吧
Would you recommend the merlot or the rioj-er?
墨尔乐红酒和这个Rio啥的怎么样
Sold all that. Get some ale down your neck, lad.
都卖♥♥光了 来一杯麦芽酒吧
Sure.
好吧
Thanks.
谢谢
Is that a full pint? Aye.
这是一整杯吗 是的
A bit surprised to see you here.
在这看到你有点意外
Didn't know you could appear
我都不知道你还可以出现在真实世界
in the real world. Thought we had to meet in that magic forest
我以为我们只能在那个魔法森林碰面
Wish I hadn't now. This fucking place!
我有点后悔来这 这破地方
There's a fella over there sat with no socks on.
那边有个傻♥逼♥不♥穿♥袜子
If he did that in the tavern, he'd be cut from nave to chaps.
如果在我们那时候 他会被砍死的
Twat! Cool.
傻♥逼♥ 酷
So, why are you here, spirit guide?
你来这干嘛 精神导师
I know what you're up to, Morpheus.
我知道你在干嘛 Morpheus
But do you really want to be the rebound guy?
你确实想成为那个备胎吗
Well, if I get through the door as the rebound guy,
如果我成为了那个备胎
it gives me something to build on.
我就在那个基础上努力
Then, over time, we phase out the rebound
时间久了 就不是备胎
and I just become the guy
可以转正了
or the husband.
或者还能结婚
It never works, man.
这招没用
Take it from somebody who knows a bit about women.
我对女人还是略知一二的
With all due respect, you and Catelyn Stark,
我非常尊重你 但你和Catelyn Stark
that wasn't exactly fireworks, mate.
根本不来电啊 兄弟
Watch Lady Chatterley's Lover then come back to me.
你去看完<查特莱夫人的情人>再回来找我
You were in Lady Chatterley's Lover? - IMDB, mate.
<查特莱夫人的情人>里有你 上IMDB看看吧 拜托
Fucking hell GoldenEye!
我♥操♥ <黄金眼>
Wow! There's a lot of sharp.
哇偶 好多有名的角色
Morpheus...
Morpheus
Heed my advice. If you go after Alison,
听我劝 如果你去追Alison
it will end in sorrow.
结局只会是悲剧
Sorrow!
悲剧
Sorrow!
悲伤
OK, so you know your VAT return? Yeah.
你知道你的增值税退回来了么 是的
What is that?
那是什么啊
Oh, right, OK. So, basically, every quarter,
哦是这样的 基本上 对于每一块钱呢
what you want to do is just compile all your invoices and receipts.
你要做的就是收集你所有的发♥票♥跟收据
Right... Make sure they're safe and sound.If you have a safe...
这样啊 保证它们完好无缺 如果你有个安全的
Big words, big words, grown-up stuff.
装逼 装逼 净说听不懂的事情
Adult, adult, real man.
成熟 成熟 你是真正的男人
Business stuff, financial words, impressive things.
生意事宜 金融词汇 精彩经历
Impressed, impressed.
太帅了 太帅了
Better than Kent.
甩Kent几条街
Witty anecdote, 50 pound note...
好玩的事和五十英镑
Spotify Premium? Didn't think so!
Spotify的高级会员 我可不这么认为
I like to keep all my invoices in a pillow case, cos it...
我习惯把我所有的发♥票♥放在一个枕头里 因为它
Remember when you shat yourself in Physics?
你记得你在物理课上把屎拉在裤子里的事情么
God! Yeah, I haven't thought about that in a while.
天哪 我已经有一阵没想这件事情了
I think about it all the time and it's still just as funny.
我一直想着 实在是太好笑了
Right. He was 11, though.
是啊 不过他那个时候才11岁啊
Yeah, and he filled his pants with shit,
对 然后他裤子里全是屎
in front of the whole class!
当着全班人啊
It's classic! You never lived that one down, did you?
太经典了 你从没释怀这件事 是吧
No, I guess not.
嗯 我估计没有
No.
没有吗
Kent shat himself in a cab last week.
Kent上周在出租车上也把屎拉裤子里了
No, that was different.
不 那不一样好吧
I was on drugs.
我当时嗑药了
Game of pool? No, you'll probably just whip me as used to
来局台球么 别了吧 你估计还会像以前一样把我打趴
Don't worry. I'll go easy on ya.
别担心 我会下手轻点的
So, just to clarify, Kent, you are the yellow balls, right? Yes!
额 我就问一下 Kent 你打的是黄球对吧 是的
I cannot believe I'm seven balls up on Blackwell. Flukey or what?
真不敢相信我居然领先Blackwell七个球 是狗屎运还是啥
Or blatant cheating!
或者就是作弊
Come on, Maradona. Your shot. OK.
快点 马拉多纳 到你了 好的
Ha! Touched the white! Two shots to me.
哈 你碰到白球了 我打两次
Shut that face up! He's right.I did touch it.
别跟我摆这个表情 他是对的 我的确碰到了
I'm gonna need a rest.
我觉得我需要架杆
Oh, we don't have a rest.
噢 我们这里没用架杆
You haven't got a rest?! He hasn't got a rest!
你没架杆 他连个架杆都没有
Yeah, he's got a pool table, though, in the pub he owns.
对啊 不过他有个台球桌 在他开的酒吧里
Yeah, but he hasn't got a rest, have you? You prick!
对啊 但是他没用架杆 是吧你 你个贱♥人♥
Come on, Morph, it's now or never. Just book it.
快点 Morph 机不可失时不再来了 快点订
Just book it.
就订了吧
**I wanna wake up*
*我想苏醒
**In a city that doesn't sleep...*
*在一个不眠之城
Don't do it, Morpheus! Jesus!
不要 Morpheus 天哪
You're appearing on posters now? So what?
你现在又出现在海报上了 那又怎么样
Just seems like your rules are really loose.
好像看起来你的规定很随意啊
I'm Sean bean. I can do what I like.
我是肖恩宾 我想干嘛就干嘛
About Alison - you're thinking wi' your...
关于Alison 你在用你的
It's quite an eyeful!
太辣眼睛了
But Alison wants a man who knows what he wants
但是Alison喜欢的是有主见的男人
and I want to take her to the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day
情人节的时候我想带她去帝国大厦的顶端
and then to that big sandwich place from When Harry Met Sally.
然后去<当哈利遇见莎莉>里面那个卖♥♥三明治的地方
I'm telling you, Morpheus... don't book it!
我跟你说 Morpheus 别订
You need to check Groupon first.