第三者

这是科林·沃尔科特的语♥音♥留言信箱
You've reached the voicemail of Colin Walcott.
请留言 我会及时回电
Please leave me a message and I'll call you back.
怎么了 什么紧急情况
What? What's the emergency?
我本该在8分钟内送一份泰式炒河粉
I'm supposed to be dropping a pad Thai off in eight minutes.
这里臭死了
Really stinks of farts in here.
-我需要知道新情况 凯特 -你搞笑呢
- I need an update, Cat. - Are you serious?
让我跨越整个镇告诉帮你刷图享
You got me all across town for Instagram?
搞毛啊 凯茜
'Kin' hell, Cath.
他们的帐号♥上多了两张新照片
OK, so there's two new photos and an Insta story
和一个新帖子
about them feeding turtles.
他在按我的行程表走
So he's sticking to my itinerary.
是我预定了去乌龟保护区的旅行
I was the one that booked the trip to the turtle sanctuary.
天呐 那是我的水杯吗
Oh, my God, is that my water bottle?
真是个大猪蹄子
What a kick in the tits.
我♥干♥了什么 凯特
What have I done, Cat?
我本该去海滩上喂乌龟
I'm supposed to be on the beach feeding turtles,
而不是在网上跟踪我的前未婚夫和他的前任前台
not cyberstalking my ex-fiance and his ex-receptionist
在我的前蜜月上享受
on MY ex-honeymoon.
你难道忘了马库斯就是人形鸡♥巴♥吧
Are you forgetting that Marcus is a complete cockrocket?
来吧 我们走 起床
Come on, let's go. Up.
你和我一起去度蜜月
Me and you are going on our honeymoon.
我们开走爸爸的游艇 吃一大堆薯条
We'll take Dad's yacht, we'll eat a shit-tonne of crisps
然后像戴安娜和多迪一样双宿双飞
and we'll hit the deck like Di and Dodi.
戴安娜王妃曾与多迪·法耶兹相恋 最后一同死于车祸
凯茜 看着我
Cathy, look at me.
你欠自己一个蜜月 还有我
You owe it to yourself. And me.
但主要是你自己 好吗
But mainly to yourself, OK?
-好吧 -好极了
- Fine. - Wicked.
我们去度蜜月吧
Let's honeymoon!
第三者
第一季 第六集
[本季终]
凯茜 关于结婚礼物
Cathy, about the wedding gifts,
我已经把所有的都还了
I managed to return everything
除了法国LC厨具的小猪盐罐
except for the Le Creuset salt pig.
因为比尔和简在兰萨罗特
Because Bill and Jane are in Lanzarote.
凯茜
Cathy?
得离开家一阵 几天后回来
凯茜
至少给我个线索我们去哪吧 哪个方向
At least give me a clue as to where we're going. What direction?
我只能告诉你 你想和爸爸在一起
All I'm going to say is that you wanted to be with Dad,
我们就去找爸爸
so that's what we're going to do.
-我们要自杀吗 -当然不是 傻冒 你搞完了吗
- We're going to kill ourselves? - No, knobhead. Have you finished?
没有什么能下载的使用手册吗
Isn't there some sort of manual we can download for this?
让开 我来
Get out the way. Let me do it.
好了 凯茜 你走运了
Here you are, Cathy, you're in luck -
把东西弄到洞里是我的专长
getting things into holes is my speciality.
-你听到了吗 妈 -什么
- Did you hear that, Mum? - What?
我说 "把东西弄到洞里是我的专长"
I said, "Getting things into holes is my speciality."
妙啊 你怎么想出这些机灵话的
Oh, brilliant. Where do you get all this stuff from?
我不知道 自然而然张口就来
I don't know, it just arrives out my mouth like that.
凯茜 你介意我打电♥话♥给马库斯的妈妈吗
Here, Cathy, love, do you mind if I give Marcus' mum a ring?
我不知道当新郎
I don't know what the etiquette
把新娘甩了后有什么礼仪
is when the groom dumps the bride.
-她甩了他 -我甩了他
- She dumped him. - I dumped him.
无论如何 没关系 你打吧 玛丽莲
Anyway, no, knock yourself out, Marilyn.
-米什蒂不是坏人 -那就好
- Mishti is not the villain of this piece. - Oh, cool.
我想着或许坐个巴士去看她呢
I thought I might even get the bus down to see her.
真不错 妈
Oh, nice one, Mum.
至少算个努力的方向
Something to work towards, anyway.
谁知道呢 也许有一天我能跟她跑马拉松
Who knows? One day, I might even run a marathon.
-你可以加入我妈的越野行走 -不要
- Oh, you could join my mum's Nordic walking group. - No.
好极了 走吧 凯茜 我们出发
Wicked. All right, come on, Cath, let's rock and roll.
妈 记得接老爸的电♥话♥ 好吗
Oh, Mum, keep an ear out for Dad's phone, yeah?
棒极了
Wicked.
一路顺风 亲爱的们
Bon voyage, mis amores.
姑娘们 你们忘记船了
Girls, y-you forgot the boat.
船 你们大概需要船
The boat. You might need the boat.
-我想我们忘记带船了 -开玩笑 妈的
- I think we might have forgotten the boat. - Oh, you're kidding. Shit.
我正式宣布女王陛下的船凯特穗开业了
I hereby declare HMS Catkin open.
让瓶子为游艇欢呼吧
Let the bottle see the yacht.
这算是自♥制♥香槟的一个缺点吧
Well, that's one drawback to SodaStreaming your own champagne.
傻♥逼♥ 别再看我的手♥机♥了
Oi, dickhead, stop looking at my phone.
真是个贱♥人♥ 我本来打算点剑鱼的
What a bitch. I was going to order the swordfish.
她最好别点巴扬通心粉派
She better not have ordered the Bajan macaroni pie.
她点了巴扬通心粉派 她毫无廉耻心吗
She's ordered the Bajan macaroni pie. Has she no shame?
什么
What?
你在干什么
What are you doing?
这是我的手♥机♥ 我想干什么就干什么
Well, it's my phone. I can do what I want with it.
-天呐 你疯了 -我疯了
- Oh, my God. You're mental. - I'm mental?
是你纠结于两个土包子
You're the one who's obsessing over what two fanny packs
-吃午餐 -行 知道吗
- are having for their lunch. - Fine. Do you know what?
-我在自己手♥机♥上下载图享 -行
- I'll just download Instagram on my phone. - OK.
天呐
Oh, my God!
那是我的工作手♥机♥ 见鬼
That was a work phone. Shit!
我们在度蜜月 好吗
We're on our honeymoon, OK?
没有邮件 更新 前任 就你和我
No e-mails, no updates, no exes. Just you and me
在游艇上享受高质量姐妹时光
having some quality sister time on a yacht.
首先 这只是个两舱的小船
OK, one, it's a two-berth cruiser.
其次 如果我们需要地图或手电 我说不好
And two, what if we need a map or a torch or - I don't know -
个人健康应用呢
the Headspace app?
你最好别整个蜜月期都这幅德性
You better not be like this all honeymoon.
好吧 把你的车调成开船模式
Right, come on, shift your car for the boat drive.
-那东西叫船台 -真假的 你怎么会知道
- It's a slipway. - Are you serious? How do you know all this shit?
你的高级学校教的游艇课吗
Did they teach you yacht lessons at your posh school?
我又没上伊顿
I didn't go to Eton.
好吗 我的学校就是个普通
OK? My school was just a run-of-the-mill,
平常的私校
bog-standard private school
刚好有皮划艇俱乐部
that just so happened to have a rowing club.
对 是我在高级学校学的
Yes, I learned it at my posh school.
好 我去换衣服 你给车变换模式
Right. Well, I'm going to get changed. You go and shift your car.
好 希望你带了合适的坐船衣服
OK. Well, I hope you've bought appropriate boat wear.
我带了完美的游艇裙子
Oh, I've got the perfect yacht frock.
科林
Hello, Colin.
我知道我们很久没说话了 大部分是你的错
I know we haven't spoken for a while, which is mostly your fault,
但我就不深究了
but I'm not going to get into that.
总之
Anyway...
长话短说
..the long and the short of it is...
我恨你
..I hate you.
我太恨你了
I hate you so much.
而且这感觉糟透了
And it's horrible.
然后今天 我终于没有可以分心的事了
And then, today, I finally ran out of distractions.
我坐在沙发上 突然顿悟了
And I was sitting on the sofa and I had an epiphany.
我意识到我恨对你的恨意 胜过我恨你
I realised I hate the hate more than I hate you.
所以
So...
我来了这里
..that's why I'm here...
因为我只有一条出路
..because there's really only one way out.
我原谅你了 科林·沃尔科特
I forgive you, Colin Walcott!
没关系
That's OK.
混账玩意
Prat.
-喂 -你好 我是肯德里克房♥地♥产♥的经纪人凯莉
- Hello. - Oh, g'day, it's Kelly from Kendrick Estate Agents.
请问是凯特·沃尔科特吗
Am I talking to Cat Walcott?
不 我是她妈妈 玛丽莲
No, I'm her mum. I'm Marilyn.
抱歉 昨晚有点喝大了
OK. Sorry. Had a bit of a big one last night.
我们把一个校足球场卖♥♥给了赌场
We flogged a school football pitch to a casino
现在我出的汗都有酒味
and I am sweating Sambuca.
总之 我来电是为了完成秸秆山的
Anyway, I'm calling about the completion arrangements
房♥产销♥售♥安排
for the Stalks Hill property.
凯茜把钥匙留给了她妹妹对吗
I believe Cathy left the keys with her sister?
-对 在我们这里 -完美
- Yes, we've got them. - Ah, top banana.
秸秆山
那我们就十一点在屋子见
Can I meet you at the property at 11?
我本来想开车去接你 但我刚做了
I would pop over to yours, but I've just done one of those
网上的酒精测试 晚上七点前都不能开车