第三者

That wasn't the plan, Cat.
那又怎样 这是你的单身派对
So? This is your bachelorette party,
你最后一次感受自♥由♥
your last stab at freedom.
别管计划了 我们走哪是哪不好吗
Balls to plans. Let's just see where the night takes us.
我们就自♥由♥地单身吧
Let's be free-range hens.
如果你照着行程来
If you'd stuck to the itinerary,
没有坚持让我穿这愚蠢的猴子装
and not insisted I wear this stupid monkey costume,
我就不会被卡住了
I wouldn't have got stuck.
-你笑什么 -因为好笑
- Why are you laughing? - Because it's funny.
太好笑了 凯茜
It's hilarious, Cath.
我等不及要回去帐篷告诉她们了
I can't wait to get back to the tent and tell the others.
告诉她们什么
Tell them what?
你搞砸了我的单身派对吗
That you ruined my hen do?
还是我被吊在绳上一个小时
That I was hanging from a wire for an hour
跟他妈鲍里斯·约翰逊似的
like Boris bloody Johnson
现任英国首相 曾因滑索卡住挂在空中被市民围观
就因为你坚持让我穿这套破衣服
because you insisted I wear this stupid costume?
等等 我可没搞砸什么
Hang on, hang on, no, I didn't ruin anything.
那不是受我控制的
That was out of my control.
烂事会发生 意外会发生
Shit happens, accidents happen.
但你知道吗 你有的吹了
But you know what? You got a great story out of it.
你为什么就不能承认事情很糟糕
Why can't you just admit that things are crap?
因为事情不全是糟糕的 总有积极的一面
Because it's not all crap. Like, there's always a positive.
我说不清 比如说这个
Like, I don't know... Like, here's one.
爸爸有外遇 很不好
So, dad had an affair, not great,
但正因如此 你有了一个妹妹 你有了我
but because of it, you got a sister, you got me.
你知道了吗 开心起来
So you know what? Chin up.
我只想要个有范儿 有意义的单身派对
I just wanted to have a classy, edifying hen party.
-你是凯瑟琳·沃尔科特吗 -我们是
- Are you Catherine Walcott? - Yes.
抱歉 这位是凯茜
Oh, sorry. Sorry, this is Cathy.
我有理由相信
I have reason to believe
一场森林大火正在向你袭来
there's a forest fire heading your way,
所以准备好变得非常非常 火热
so prepare to get very, very hot.
天呐 凯茜 快看
Oh, my God, Cathy, look.
-谢了哥们 -女士们 祝今晚愉快
- Cheers, mate. - Ladies, have a good night, yeah?
小伙跳得不错
Nice one, bruv.
回来啦
Oh, hello.
鸭子喜欢的天气
Nice weather for ducks.
疯狂探险好玩吗
So, how was Go Ape?
坦白说我感觉身心都轻松了
I can honestly say I feel physically and spiritually lighter.
现在有点饿了 除此以外都还不错
A bit peckish now. Apart from that, hunky-dory.
我们彻底错过了预订好的晚餐
Well, we've completely missed our reservation for supper,
而且在这种天气下
and there's no way I'm driving round
我不可能开车出去到处找商店
trying to find a shop in this weather.
好吧 说的也是
Right, that's...
-好吧 -等等 我妈去哪里了
- Yeah, all right. - Hang on. Where's me mum?
妈
Mum!
玛丽莲
Marilyn!
-妈 -玛丽莲
- Mum! - Marilyn!
玛丽莲
Marilyn!
妈
Mum!
不要担心 亲爱的 我们会找到你妈妈的
Oh, don't worry, darling, we'll find your mum.
这简直太扯了
This is bullshit.
我在丛林里把我妈弄丢了
I've lost me mum in the jungle,
凯茜说我搞砸了她的单身派对
Cathy says that I've ruined her hen do.
我只是想让大家笑笑 现在却变成这个鬼样子
I just wanted it to be a laugh, and now it's just dead shit.
不用担心凯茜 姐妹就是这样的
Oh, don't worry about Cathy. That's what sisters are like.
我和苔丝以前打得可凶了
Me and Tess used to fight like cats.
她做过一些很过分的事
She did some awful things.
她把荨麻放进我的睡袋里
She put nettles in my sleeping bag,
还有一次 她收买♥♥了一个表弟
and another time she paid a cousin
让他用木柱打我的奶♥子♥
to hit me in the tit with a skittle,
但我依然爱她到死
but I still love her to death.
这种家庭闹剧 很复杂 不是吗
Well, it's complicated, you know, this family lark, innit?
我只是习惯了当独生女
I'm just used to being an only child.
妈
Mum!
玛丽莲
Marilyn!
玛丽
Yoo-hoo! Mari...!
天呐
Oh, God.
有只蛾子飞进我嘴里了
Oh, a moth went in my mouth.
有只蛾子飞进我嘴里了
A moth went in my mouth!
我把它吞下去了
I've swallowed it. Yup.
我吞了一只蛾子
I've swallowed a moth.
看来我是需要吃零食了
I needed a snack, eh?
我要回去帐篷看看
Right, listen, I'm going to go back to the tent and have a look.
玛丽莲
Marilyn!
玛丽莲
Marilyn!
玛丽莲
Marilyn!
请不要有事
Please be OK.
我真的感觉好像认识你很久了
I honestly feel like I've known you my whole life.
我打赌我们肯定还有很多相似点
I bet we were at so many of the same 21sts,
只是我们还没发现
and we didn't even realise.
迪拜的带I克莱尔 你看到我妈了吗
Right, you, Claire with an I from Dubai, have you seen me mum?
她不是在你们的帐篷里吗
Um, no, isn't she in your tent?
是我们的帐篷 而且她失踪了
No, OUR tent, and she's gone missing, right.
首先 你现在要做的是
So first, this is what's going to happen -
你得出来淋着雨
you're going to get out into the rain
然后你要帮忙找我妈
and you're going to come help find me mum.
之后你要回到帐篷里
Then you're going to get back into the tent
喝贝利尼酒直到凯茜喝晕过去
and you're going to drink Bellinis until Cathy passes out.
不然我向天发誓 我会把你拖进树林里
Or I swear to God I will drag you to the woods
把你喂獾吃
and I'll feed you to the badgers.
你不能就这么闯进来 这样跟我朋友说话
OK, you can't just come in here and speak to my friend...
-克莱尔 -克莱尔
- Claire. - Claire...
闭嘴 你这个装逼的白♥痴♥
Shut up, you la-di-da dipshit.
带上你的酒一起滚蛋
You with that box of wine.
玛丽莲
Marilyn!
玛丽莲
Marilyn!
玛丽莲
Marilyn?
玛丽莲
Marilyn.
我看到你父亲了
I saw your dad.
不是科林本人
I mean, it wasn't Colin.
是一头鹿 但我知道就是科林
It was a deer, but it was Colin.
就像我梦里的一样
It was just like in my dreams,
但我们还没来得及说话 它就跑走了
but he ran away before we could talk.
它看起来美极了 凯茜
He looked beautiful, Cathy.
它看起来很威武
He looked majestic.
各位 我找到玛丽莲了
Guys, I found Marilyn.
我们这就回帐篷 完毕
We're heading back to the tent. Over.
来吧 玛丽莲 我们走
Come on, Marilyn, let's go.
至少这样省得我去洗澡了
Oh, at least that saves me having to have a shower!
希望没有信息量太大
Oh, tell me if this is TMI,
但我的内♥裤♥已经湿透了
but I am soaked through to the knickers.
我也是
Hm, me too.
而且不是好的那种湿
And not in a good way.
克莱尔 你箱子里带了什么保暖外套
Claire, have you got any warm gear
可以借我们吗
in your suitcase we could borrow?
我住在迪拜
I live in Dubai.
等着 我来解决
Right, hang on, I'll sort it.
谁想再来点老二意面
Who's up for some more penis pasta?
这个开了吗
Is this thing on?
开玩笑
Jokes. Um...
我只是想对凯特说声感谢
I just wanted to say thank you so much to Cat
谢谢你搞来了老二意面和性♥爱♥青蒜酱
for rustling up the penis pasta and sex pesto
远远超越了首席伴娘应做的
and going above and beyond as my maid of honour.
为凯茜和马库斯干杯
A toast to Cathy and Marcus.
愿他们桃华灼灼 白首永偕
May they have a long and love-filled marriage.
也敬姐妹
And to sisters.
姐妹
Sisters.
-敬姐妹 -干杯
- To sisters. - Cheers.
这个你还有吗
Actually, is there any more of this?