第三者

就这样 接着倒 倒
That's it. A bit more. A bit more.
-还能倒多远 -还有老多空间了 宝贝
- How much room do I have? - You've got tonnes of room, babe.
接着倒
Bit more.
老多了不是测量距离的单位...
Tonnes isn't really a measurement of distance, so...
-宝贝 你开得非常好 -谢谢你 我...
- Baby, you're doing really, really well. - Thank you, I...
如果你想让我替你开...
If at any point you want me to take over...
-我不会看不起你 -不不不 我可以的
- No judgment. - No, no. No, I'm OK,
我只需要你安静一会
I just actually need you to be quiet for a sec.
你在把这个拍下来传图享吧 妈妈
You getting this on the Insta story, Mum?
我姐送了我一艘游艇
My sister got me a yacht!
我的亲娘啊
For the love of the Lord!
然后加主题标签 同父异母姐妹
And then type hashtag, #Sisterfromthesamemister
然后加主题标签 送上热搜
and then hashtag #Brapbrap
再加一个笑哭的表情
with the crying laughing faces.
-要三个表情 -车离墙还有多远
- Three of them, yeah? - How far am I from the wall?
凯特 你能告诉我什么时候刹车吗
Cat, can you tell me when to stop, please?
老天 我撞上什么了
Oh, my God, what did I hit?
-妈的 -我真是丢死人了
- Shit. - I am mortified.
你把那段传到图享上了吧 妈妈
You got that on the Insta story, haven't you, Mum?
干得漂亮
Wicked!
第三者
第一季 第一集
我得说 船本身不算是生日礼物
I have to say, the boat isn't a birthday present per se,
只是妈妈觉得车道上
it's just Mum's finding it weird
停着船感觉很奇怪
having it in the driveway,
除非我们找到爸爸的遗嘱...
and until we find Dad's will...
老天 凯茜 这可真让我松了一口气
Oh, God, Cathy, that is such a relief,
因为我当时正想尽办法
because I was struggling
想送你一件和游艇一样棒的礼物
as what I could get you as good as a yacht.
那是一艘两舱的小船
Oh, it's a two-berth cruiser,
但别担心 别为我费心
but don't worry, don't get me anything.
你是我姐姐
You're my sister,
我肯定得给你买♥♥点什么
of course I'm going to get you something.
对 所以这只是一扇窗户的价钱 是吧
Yeah, and then that's just for the single window, right?
对
Yeah.
你猜怎么着
You know what,
不如你把想花在我身上的钱
why don't you put the money that you would have
存进自己的个人储蓄账户吧
spent on me into your ISA?
好 那 这是游艇的钥匙
Right, so, the yacht key.
这样就不会把它弄丢了
Here, so we don't lose it.
所以...
So...
有关派对 有什么计划吗
What's the plan, party-wise?
我有个朋友 朋友的朋友的朋友
You know, I've got a mate mate's mate's mate,
他去过一场靡靡之声彻夜狂欢船上派对
who went on one of those Ministry of Sound boat party things.
听说 一个男人死了
And apparently, a guy died.
不过是好死
But, like, in a good way.
爸爸也给你买♥♥了一只吗
Dad got you one of these, too?
它还好用吗
Does it still work?
它还好用吗
Does it still work?
要是我没把我的扔掉就好了
I wish I hadn't thrown mine away.
不 我永远一只都不会扔掉的
Oh, no, I could never chuck any of these,
它们太珍贵了
they're far too precious.
它们对我而言也很珍贵
I mean, they're precious to me, too.
但你有爸爸陪你
I guess you had Dad.
我只有这些泰迪熊
I just had these teddies.
我只有这些泰迪熊
I just had these teddies.
来了
Coming!
那是狗叫 是吧
That was a dog. Was it?
真的吗 不可能
Really? No!
反正我已经站起来了 所以...
Anyway, I'm up now, so...
我们这次唱得比以前都要好
It's the best we've ever done it!
我真讨厌这部新手♥机♥
Oh, I hate this fancy phone.
你能帮我下载些软件吗
Can you do the downloading thing for me?
手♥机♥给我 苔崽
Hand it over, T-bone.
好...
Right...
-好 你说吧 -好
- Go on, hit me. - OK.
愿者上钩 探探
Plenty of fish. Tinder.
-上钩... -单身骚友
- Fish... - My Single Friend.
-探探... -铰链约会
- Tinder... - Hinge...
姻缘网
OK Cupid...
龙凤配
Elite singles...
同城抱抱
Huggle...
叭哚交友
Badoo...
精阴联盟 大黄蜂约会
The League, Bumble....
基♥督♥徒在线约会服务 还有...
Christian Mingle, and...
陌陌 是叫摸摸吗
Thrinder. Threinder?
是叫陌陌
Thrinder.
好了
Ok.
什么 全 全都要
What, all...all of them?
我当年因为住在吉尔福德
I missed the first sexual revolution
错过了第一次性解放
because I was living in Guildford.
这次我可不能再错过了
I'm not missing this one, too.
我得走了 马库斯和妈妈还在等着呢
Can't stay long cos Marcus and Mum are waiting.
茶或金汤力
Tea, G&T?
-茶和咖啡 -不了 我得走了 抱歉
- Tea and coffee? - No, I've got to skedaddle, alas.
你让我想起了爸爸 他总急着走
You remind me of Dad, always buggering off somewhere.
她也总急着走 对吧妈
Ain't she always buggering off somewhere, Mum?
我很愿意多待一会 但是我在分割爸爸的房♥产
I would like to stay, it's just I'm up to my eyeballs
忙得四脚朝天
unpicking Dad's estate.
一份房♥产 有护城河的那种吗
An estate, what, like, with a moat?
妈 我们有半条护城河啦
Mum, we've got half a moat!
其实更像是遗嘱认证
Well, it's more like a probate,
因为他没留下任何书面文件
just cos he didn't leave any paperwork.
我其实前几天还和马库斯说
I was actually saying to Marcus the other day,
可搞笑了
this is funny,
我和他说 "如果我的人生是一场电影
I said, "If my life was a film,
取自电影《Good Will Hunting心灵捕手》
并在此处一语双关Will遗嘱一词
"这部电影就叫《菜鸟遗嘱捕手》"
"It would be called Bad Will Hunting."
没错
Exactly.
我去开门
I'll get it.
帮我问问能不能用洗手间
Ask if I can use the lavatory.
你自己来问我就行 亲爱的
You can ask me yourself, love.
30年来我们共用一个男人
We shared a man for 30 years,
我觉得我们也可以蹲同一个马桶
I think our bums can share a loo seat.
进厨房♥左转 宝贝
In the kitchen, turn left, babe.
听起来像水炮似的
Sounds like a friggin' water cannon.
她为什么穿得和在猫舍上班似的
Why is she dressed like she works in a cattery?
她在越野行走
Oh, Nordic Walking.
人们常常用这种方式忘记悲伤
It's a classic grief distraction.
我明白
Ah, I get it.
但我永远都不会忘记你♥爸♥爸
I will never get over your dad.
他是我的性能力鼎盛时期
He was my sexual zenith.
还尿呢
Still going.
那你今年生日想怎么庆祝
Are you doing anything nice for your birthday, then?
她尿完了
Has she finished?
对 表演结束
Yep. Show's over.
不庆祝了 爸爸今年不在还庆祝感觉怪怪的
Oh, no, it's going to be too weird without Dad this year.
我不想弄得太热闹了
Don't want a fuss.
那你呢 凯特 你想好怎么过生日了吗
What about you, Cat, have you got any birthday plans?
老妈给我们买♥♥了几张
Yeah, Mum's got us some tickets
这周末太阳马戏团的票
to Cirque du Soleil this weekend.
你知道科林超喜欢太阳马戏团
You know how Colin loved Cirque du Soleil.
是吗
Did he?
我们走 凯茜
Come on, Cathy.
我还是不敢相信你们的生日只相差五天
I still can't believe you were born five days apart.
你们有可能是双胞胎
You could be identical twins!
大家走吧
OK, guys, come on,
手杖撑地 推动身体前行
let's plant those poles and push that gait.
你是沃尔科特太太吧
It's Mrs. Walcott, isn't it?
我是克里斯托弗
Christopher.
克里斯托弗·希彭
Christopher Shippen?