第三者

好了 厕所刷了
Right. I have bleached the loo,
我和妈讨论了奈斯特的登录信息
I've gone over the Nest login with Mum,
谷歌♥旗下智能家居硬件公♥司♥
浴室的垃圾倒过了 尿也尿了
I've emptied the bathroom bins, and I have done a pee.
-你得手洗那个杯子 -好的 知道了
- Oh, and you'll need to hand-wash that cup. - Yes, I will...
-太漂亮了 -请别再夸我了 马库斯
- Schwing! - Please don't schwing me, Marcus!
-这是物化女性 还让我觉得很老 -抱歉
- It's objectifying and it makes me feel old. - Sorry.
我夸你完全是
I was just schwinging you
出于对女性权利的尊重
entirely in the spirit of empowerment and respect.
-抱歉 我有点婚前焦虑 -没事
- I'm sorry. Pre-wedding nerves. - Right.
沃尔科特女士 你准备好
Ms. Walcott, are you ready
作为单身女士参加最后一场酒会了吗
for your last drinks partay as a single laday?
应该准备好了
Yeah. I guess.
-好吧 车钥匙在你那里吗 -在
- Right, have you got the car keys? - Yep.
给你
Here you go.
该死
Shit balls!
对不起
Sorry.
第三者
第一季 第五集
欢迎来到凯瑟琳和马库斯的婚前酒会
大使 这些
Ambassador, with these, um...
那是葡萄 酸辣酱加布里干酪面包片
They're grape, chutney and Brie crostini.
这些布里干酪 酸辣酱加葡萄
With these Brie, chutney and grape...
我明白的 道恩
I get it, Dawn.
-葡萄面包片 -你没必要念完
- Grape crostini... - Yes, you don't have to finish.
你真宠坏我们了 谢谢 太棒了
You are really spoiling us! Hats off! Big time!
-再来点卡瓦酒吗 -这是香槟
- Some more of this cava? - It's champagne.
得让大家都知道 你别都喝光了
Make sure people know that, and don't drink all of it!
我希望马库斯爸妈来时还能剩点
I want there to be some left when Marcus' parents arrive...
说曹操曹操就到
Oh, speak of the devil!
史睿 米什蒂 欢迎你们
Shray, Mishti! Welcome, welcome.
抱歉我们来晚了
I'm sorry we're late.
我得做个紧急泪囊鼻腔造口术 耽搁了挺久
I had to perform an emergency DRC, and it rather dragged on.
我不知道那是什么 但我非常喜欢它的发音
I don't know what that is but, boy, do I like the sound of it!
就是重塑泪管
It's re-plumbing a tear duct.
你好 我是道恩 是苔丝的姐姐
Hello, I'm Dawn. I'm Tess' sister.
很荣幸见到您 坦德尔医生
It is an honour to meet you, Dr. Tandell.
-请叫我先生 -您太谦虚了
- Please, call me Mr. - Oh, don't be so modest!
不 我是个外科医生
No, I'm a surgeon.
正确头衔是先生 这是个普遍性错误
The correct title is Mr. It's a common mistake.
-要喊先生 -我觉得该喝一杯
- It's Mr. - Well, I think I deserve a drink.
能帮我拿一杯吗 亲爱的
Get me a glass, would you, darling?
我等着听呢 史睿先生 手术结果怎么样
So, I'm waiting with bated breath, Mr. Shray! How did the op go?
这么说吧
Well, let's just say,
他醒来时 双眼涌出了喜悦的泪水
when he came around, he wept tears of joy from both eyes.
失陪一下
Excuse me.
你牙上有口红印
You've got lipstick on your teeth.
好了 你就在这里 你饿吗
Right. Let's get you set up. You hungry?
你想用我的手♥机♥看节目吗
Do you want to watch some telly on me phone?
不 我不能喝
Oh, no, I can't.
我是首席伴娘 我得干好我的活
I'm on maid of honour duty. I've got to be on it like a bonnet.
这是什么 奶酪面包片吗
What's this, cheese on toast?
-差不多吧 -我留着一会吃
- Kind of, yeah. - I'll save it for later.
它差不多十厘米长 五厘米宽
It's about sort of four inches across, two inches wide...
不了 谢谢 我正在减肥
Oh, no, thanks. Keto diet.
这些是给夫人兼新娘准备的
Oh, these are for milady and for the bride.
我正在问希彭先生...
I was just picking Mr. Shippen's brains about the...
如果你再叫我希彭先生
If you call me Mr. Shippen again,
我叫让你放学后留校
I'm going to put you in detention!
抱歉 我正在问老师怎么处理墙上划痕
Sorry! I was just picking Sir's brains about the wall scuff.
你为什么要在意墙上的划痕
What you stressing about a scuff on the wall for?
这是你的婚礼前夕
It's your wedding eve!
叫人很心烦 我试过腻胶 湿布 渍无踪
It's annoying! I've tried putty rubber, a damp cloth, Vanish.
有人让我往墙上喷醋
Someone told me to spit on it with vinegar.
你有试过婴儿湿巾吗
Have you tried a baby wipe?
我不用婴儿湿巾 因为有地沟油
I don't use baby wipes cos of the fatbergs.
你认识哪个人
Do you know anyone
真的亲眼见过地沟油吗
who's actually seen a fatberg with their own eyes,
还是你只在《卫报》上读到过
or did you just read about it in The Guardian?
两国相争 不斩来使
Don't shoot the messenger.
奈吉
Nige!
真不可思议
Unbelievable!
一位地理老师怎么能不承认地沟油
How can he be a geography teacher and a fatberg denier?
我还以为他是好人 我打赌他投了脱欧
I thought he was one of the good guys. Bet he voted Leave!
脱啥
Leave what?
-抱歉 但这里面有乳制品 -该死
- So sorry, but do these have dairy in them? - Oh, bollocks!
-加满吗 -谢谢 天啊 这里太可怕了
- Do you need a top-up? - Oh, thanks. God, this is hellish!
你人真好 给这些可怕的人服务
You're a saint, you know, waiting on these awful people.
我不是服务员 我是客人
I don't work here. I'm a guest.
-天啊 太抱歉了 -没事
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry! - No, not at all.
我也不想来
I don't want to be here either.
你为什么来
Who made you come?
我是新郎的母亲
I'm the mother of the groom.
你呢
You?
我和凯茜的父亲有三十年光辉的做♥爱♥史
I made love to Cathy's father for three glorious decades.
所以永远别相信你的全科医生
And that is why you should never trust your GP.
抱歉 女士们
Sorry, ladies.
我能和新郎私聊一下吗
Would I be able to steal the groom for a second, please?
谢谢 这么说可能有点怪
Thank you. Bit of an odd one,
但墙上有划痕真的让我很烦恼
but that scuff on the wall is really bothering me,
我就在想
and I was just wondering
你能送我去一趟手工商店吗
whether you could nip me to the DIY store,
这样我们蜜月前我就不会再想这个了
and then I could just get it out of my mind before we go away?
天啊 凯茜 我
God, Cathy! I...
你们好 很高兴见到你们
Hi! Hi, lovely to see you!
-这样我就不会担心了 -听着
- It would just really put my mind at rest. - Um, look.
-这是我第三杯酒了 -求你了 马库斯
- I'm on my third glass of fizz... - Please, Marcus!
我不明白 不过是道划痕
I don't get it. It's just a stupid scuff.
我们就好好享受这一刻 好吗
Let's just enjoy ourselves, hm?
-好吧 你是对的 -好吗
- Yeah. You're completely right. - OK?
好的 当然
Yeah, of course.
-接吻就留到新婚之夜吧 -闭嘴 鲁伯特
- Hey! Save it for the wedding night! - Shut up, Rupert!
快过来
Oh, come here!
这么拿
Like that.
你知道这里闲人免进吗
You know it's staff only back here?
我是伴娘 哪里都能进
Maid of honour - access all areas.
-是吗 哪里都能吗 -对
- Yeah? All areas? - All areas.
干得好 伙计们
Great job, guys.
只想告诉你们 小奶酪面包片
Just to let you know that the mini cheeses on toast
非常难吃
were absolutely disgusting!
但其他的都很棒
But, otherwise, you're nailing it.
你 凯特
You, Cat!
看到那边那个女孩了吗 大提琴手旁边那个
Do you see that girl over there, by the cellist, yeah?
她叫维瑞蒂·朗沃思 是名飞行员
That is Verity Longworth, and she's a pilot.
要不是你凭空出现
Verity was due to be maid of honour
维瑞蒂本该是伴娘
until you tipped up on the scene.
我是凯西的妹妹
I mean, I am Cathy's sister.
不 同父异母的妹妹 只有一半血缘
No! Half-sister. You are only a half.
还是比那个飞行员多一半
That's still 50% more than the pilot.
如果出任何差错 哪怕一点 我都拿你是问
If anything goes wrong - anything - I will blame you.
随你 满嘴卡瓦酒的味
All right, cava breath!
是香槟
It's champagne!
作为地理老师告诉你 如果你了解历史
And if you know your history, said the geography teacher,
你就会意识到一切都是循环
you'd realise that all of this is just cyclical
有无可辩驳的科学证据可以证明
and there's irrefutable scientific evidence to support it,
你可以跟别人说是我说的
and you can quote me on that.
没在发老二照片吧你
Better not be sending dick pics.
-我逗你呢 兄弟 -是吧
- I'm messing, mate. - Oh, yeah!
当然没有
No, no, no.
我只是在英航上为明天婚礼之后的
I'm just checking in on the BA app for our flights tomorrow
-航♥班♥做值机 -好吧
- after the wedding. - OK, cool.
我有任务在身所以也不能到处乱晃
Well, I can't piss about cos I'm on duty,