男孩们的冒险书（2018）

你没法跟别人感同身受
You have no empathy for other people's feelings.
太可悲了
It's really pretty sad.
顺便一提 我听说了你在学校
By the way, I heard you epically flamed out
和女生搭讪的光荣事迹了
at school trying to talk to a girl.
太高了
Smooth move.
你都知道了
You heard about that?
没人不知道
Dude, everyone has.
我都已经下载了两张关于你的动图了
I've already downloaded two GIFs of it.
听比你成熟的哥哥
Take a little advice from someone older
一句劝
and more sophisticated than you.
女孩关心的永远是这里有什么
All girls really care about is what's in here.
我的心
My heart?
不是 蠢蛋
No, you dork.
这是你穿着三千块的衬衫时
That's where you keep your slim-line wallet
放名牌钱包的地方
when you wear a $3,000 suit.
永远别忘了 事业才是第一位的
And never forget, career comes first.
你至少要赚够两百万
You have to make at least $2 million
这样你即使离婚了 也还是个百万富翁
so if you get divorced, you're still a millionaire.
明白了吗
Got it?
不怎么明白
Not...really.
退一万步说
Look, bottom line,
你和女人根本没法交流
it's impossible to communicate with women,
干嘛还要白费力气
so why bother trying?
潜水艇
莫尔斯电码
欢迎上舰 小伙伴
Welcome aboard, bubblehead.
潜水艇语叫欢迎你 水手
That's submarine-speak for "Howdy, sailor."
哪来的噪声
What's that noise?
听起来像特里叔叔在炫口♥技♥
It sounds like Uncle Terry when he tries to beatbox.
这是莫尔斯电码
That, son, would be Morse code.
是一种古老的传讯方式
It's kind of like old-fashioned texting,
-不过没有动画表情 -没有动画表情
- only without the emojis. - No emojis?
那你想发个笑脸怎么办
How are you supposed to send a smiley face?
点点点点横线点点横线...
Uh, dot-dot-dot, dot, dash, dot, dot, dash, d...
这实际上得花很长时间
well, yeah, that would really take a long time, actually.
我明白
I understand that
就像我和玛雅搭讪一样
about as well as I understand talking to Maya.
和女孩搭讪
Ah, talking with a girl.
最高贵的交流形式
The noblest form of communication.
除了不知道要说什么的时候
Not when you have no idea what to say.
交流本来就不是件容易的事情
Well, communication isn't always easy.
不过凡事总有方法
But there's always a way.
你看咱俩
Look at us.
我们处在150多米的海底
500 feet below the ocean's surface
仍然可以自♥由♥地交谈
and we can still talk to people.
的确挺酷
It is pretty cool.
有敌人靠近 坚守你的阵地 水手
The enemy's approaching! Man your station, sailor.
我们要行动了
We've gotta make our move.
向D7移♥动♥
D-seven.
攻击
Hit!
你把我的战舰击沉了
You sank my battleship.
太棒了
Yes! All right.
你知道
Incidentally, did you know
顶拳礼是在潜水艇上发明的吗
the fist bump was invented on submarines
因为天花板太低 不能举手击掌
'cause the ceilings are too low to high-five?
太棒了 可是老爸
That's great, Dad, but...
这对我和玛雅搭讪有什么帮助
how does that help me know how to talk to Maya?
没有 不过那本书能帮到你
It doesn't. But the book does.
你需要知道的一切都在那本书里
Everything you need to know is in that book.
好好看一看
Take a look.
是 船长
Aye, aye, Captain!
船长 我喜欢
"Captain." I like that.
你可以叫我船长
You can call me Captain.
或者叫阁下也行
Or "My liege."
随便你喜欢
Whichever comes more naturally.
怎么和女孩搭讪
什么 太阳
What? "Sun."
这就完了
That's it?
这怎么就是我需要知道的一切了
How is that everything I need to know?
前锋真的需要
Strikers really need...
注意了 我要进禁区了
Heads up, I'm going to the end zone!
是吗 想得美
Oh, yeah? That's what you think,
我会把你 等等
'cause I'm gonna... hang on, which...
哪个键是跑
which button is the "Run"?
是三角键吗
Is that the triangle?
等等 哪个是我的人来着
And which...hang on, which one is my guy again?
你是那个绕着拉拉队长
You're the guy over there running in circles
绕圈圈的家伙
next to the cheerleaders.
棒耶 电动特里回到游戏
Aw, yeah, Video Terry's got game.
抱歉 女士们 现在不是闲聊的时候
Uh, excuse me, ladies, I can't chat right now.
我要按X键 再按O键
I've gotta X, O...
得分
Touchdown!
完蛋
Boom!
太棒了 伙计
Dude, nice move!
而且第二名也不错
Hey, and...and second place, not so bad either.
在奥♥运♥会里已经是银牌了
That is a silver medal in the Olympics.
和你玩很开心 特里叔叔
Hanging with you is so fun, Uncle Terry.
要不我们再来一局
You know, what do you say we do a rematch?
我得分得的手指都麻了
Well, I can't feel my thumbs from scoring on you so much,
这局可能不会是一场屠♥杀♥了
so maybe this time won't be a total domination.
等等
Wait a minute...
这就对了
That'll help.
这身打扮挺好玩
Hey, that's an interesting outfit.
-你要去斗牛吗 -差不多
- You going to a bullfight? - Close.
我要去跳弗拉明戈舞
I'm going flamenco dancing tonight.
老话说得好
You know what they say,
当你在安大路西亚时
when in Andalusia...
没听说 没人说过这话
No, nobody says that.
你和怀亚特说话了吗
Um, hey, have you talked to Wyatt?
他一整天一句话都没和我说
He hasn't said a word to me all day.
别抱怨了 特里今天早上和我
Don't complain. Terry talked to me
聊了半个小时没停过
for half an hour straight this morning,
还是隔着浴室门说的
and that was through the bathroom door.
好吧 算了
Okay, never mind.
健身房♥的事怎么样了
Um, oh, what about the gym thing?
处理好了吗
Did you get that straightened out?
是的 我去了一趟搞定了所有事
Yep, went down there and took care of everything.
那没价值的会员已经是过去式了
That crappy membership is a thing of the past.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
我把咱们升级为高级会员了
I got us upgraded to the premium membership
拥有整个泳池使用权和桑拿特权
with full pool and sauna privileges.
要命
Oh, shoot.
我这不是占到便宜了吗
I got up-sold, didn't I? I...
我要辩解一下
In my defense,
前台的肖恩-克劳德
Jean-Claude at the front desk
是一个能说会道的帅哥
is one silver-tongued Adonis.
事情很简单 蒂芙妮
It was one simple thing, Tiffany,
是你主动提出要帮我的
that you volunteered to do for me.
我觉得我们都上了一课 不是吗
Well, I guess we both learned our lesson, didn't we?
怀亚特
Hey, Wyatt.
还好吗 小老虎
How's it going, tiger?
挺好的
Uh, uh...good.
很好 所有事都 很好
Great, uh... everything's...great.
蒂芙妮 能给我些建议吗
Tiffany...can I ask you for some advice?
如果你想要了不起的答案的话
Only if you want an awesome answer.
我想要
I do.
我们班有个女孩
There's this girl in my class
我非常喜欢 但...
that I really like, but...
我不知道该怎么办
I don't know what to do about it.
亲爱的
Oh, honey.
你既贴心又敏感而且还这么可爱
You're sweet and sensitive and cute as a button.
但我不会骗你