阳光岛怪探（2015）

In Sicily, we have a saying.
"除非你赢得尊重
"You earn the respect
否则就钻进骨灰瓮里...
Or you learn you earn a turn...
...赶紧投胎"
.. in the urn."
用意大利语说出来会更好听
It sounds better in Italian.
这个任务对我至关重要 基诺 别搞砸了
This job's important to me, Gino. Don't muck it up.
包在俺身上
You can rely on me.
就像俺曾祖父所说
As-a my great-a grandfather once said,
"一勺还是两勺" [冰淇淋品牌]
"One scoop or two?"
他实际上不是凡提亚人
He's not really Vantia,
印度境内拉其普特部落的宗族
但也是个聪明人
but he was a wise-a man.
佐罗 我要的血腥玛丽呢
Zorro, where's my Bloody Mary?
还要找点香芹粉
Just looking for some celery.
我的香肠呢 洛伦佐
And where are my sausages? Lorenza?
这
Si!
哎呦 你从哪冒出来的
Blimey, how do you do that?
洛伦佐 我要的香肠你弄好了吗
Lorenza, have you cook-ed my sausages?
她说再等五分钟
She says they'll be ready in five minutes.
"月度最佳店员"又难分伯仲了
Another close call for Employee Of The Month
但谁会胜出 我心里有底了
But I think we have a winner.
好了个喝
Yum, yum.
你好 小贝 还是照旧吗
All right, Bev? Usual?
是的 布鲁图
Yes, please, Brutus.
布鲁图
Brutus.
布鲁图
Brutus!
我不是 布鲁图死了
No, no, Brutus is dead.
我是他的... 别人家的老表
I'm his cousin... of someone else.
你个禽兽
You monster!
贝芙丽 冷静 我来解释
Beverly, calm down, let me explain!
让我说明一下
Let me explain.
这位是我的前妻 贝芙丽
This is my ex-wife, Beverly.
长话短说 我为了离婚 伪造了自己的死亡
Long story short, we got divorced, I faked my own death,
卷了她的钱逃到这儿开始新的生活
ran off with her dough and started a new life out here.
我很想再多说点
I'd tell you more,
但现在有个顾客让我实在忙不过来
but I'm a bit busy with a customer right now.
你这阴险小人
You little snake!
我就知道你是个抬不起的阿斗
I knew you were too vain to top yourself.
老娘要阉了你
I'm going to kill you.
- 我能解释 - 好啊
- I can explain. - OK.
- 什么 - 说啊
- What? - Go on, then!
我以为你不会让我说 我就没编借口来解释了
Ah, weren't expecting you to let me. I can't really explain.
幸亏老娘从未爱过你
No, I'm just lucky that I never loved you.
所以从你这里
It's going to make it all the
夺回一切 简直大快我心
sweeter when I take you for everything you've got.
听着 贝芙丽 无论我们过去如何
Listen, Beverly, whatever we were or whatever we weren't,
我们的的确确相爱过
we were definitely in love.
而且那是强烈的爱
Yes, it was intense.
灼热的爱恋
Yes, it was torrid.
充满争吵的爱 是你爱斗嘴
It was argumentative. You were argumentative.
你才是
You were argumentative.
你爱斗嘴 那是灼热的爱情
You were argumentative. It was torrid.
那词你已经说过了
You said that already.
是 因为那不是一般的灼热
Yes, cos it weren't half torrid,
直到现在我的左膝还无法伸展
I still can't straighten me left knee.
谁叫你那时候不先做好热身运动
Well, that was your fault for not warming up properly.
我又没怨谁
It's no-one's fault,
我们之间无论对错 无论发生过什么
whatever went wrong or whatever happened between us.
都是一场爱
It was love.
说完了没
You finished?
这酒吧还是归我所有
I'm still having the bar.
我以为我忠贞的爱情观
I was hoping you'd forgot about
会感化你 让你忘了这茬事
that when I was doing my bit about the love.
我要给我律师打电♥话♥
I'm going to call my lawyer,
然后 我就来拿钥匙
Then I am coming back for the keys.
贝芙丽酒吧
Bar Beverly!
不 我要...
No, I've got it...
把这酒吧
Bar...
给卖♥♥了
For sale!
此刻我真希望当初能做出懦弱的决定
It's times like these I wish I'd taken the coward's way out...
继续和你维持婚姻
.. and stayed married to ya.
她是我前妻
It's my ex-wife.
置身于♥大♥海♥之上
Out on the open sea.
此时此刻 我仿佛领悟到
It's days like these I
我正在做着世界上最好的差事
realise I've got the best job in the world.
世界上还有什么差事
There really is no better place on the planet
会比递送骨灰盒更好呢
to be an urn delivery man.
但总会有傻瓜来捣乱
There's always one idiot who spoils it.
不过老实说 那个人通常是我
To be fair, it's usually me.
喂
Hey!
警♥察♥在干嘛
What do the police want?
他们接到线报说船上有人
They said they have information that someone on the boat
- 走私毒品 - 噢 这样啊
- is smuggling drugs. - Oh, right.
抱歉打扰了 先生
Disculpe, senor.
感谢上帝你们来了 警官们 他们逃那边去了
Oh, thank goodness you're here, officers. They went that way.
- 谁 - 你们懂的 那些人
- Who did? - You know, the men.
什么人
Men?
坏人啊 他们还想把毒品塞给我的孩子
The nasty men. They tried to give drugs to my baby.
- 他们往哪儿去了 - 往那儿
- Which way did they go? - They went that way.
不 等等 是那边
No wait, that way.
就在船的另一头 我的孩子啊
Right to the other end of the boat. My baby!
屏住气 孩子
Hold your breath, Junior.
事办的怎么样了
So how'd it go?
很好
Fine.
直到我跳下轮船的那一刻 接着就被
Right up until the point I had to jump off the ferry
在巨型香蕉上聚会的女士们救了上来
to be rescued by a hen party on a giant banana.
- 听上去不错啊 - 是啊 很不错
- Sounds pretty good. - Yeah, it was pretty good.
看上去你要来一杯耶格蒂尼 下来吧
You look like you could do with a Jaeger-tini. Dive in.
给 孩子
Here you go, my son.
润一下你那口大白牙
Get your laughing gear around that.
早上不喝酒 谢谢
Not for breakfast, thanks.
真不识货 你的损失 说说出了什么事
Oh, well. Your loss. So what happened?
那位"无价之宝"女士想让我把这玩意
Mrs Priceless Antique sent me out to sea
送出海
with this.
哇 这可是好货
Wow! This is good stuff.
不像别的西班牙水货
None of that Spanish rubbish.
你干什么
What are you doing?
这是爽身粉啊
It's talcum powder.
虽不是亚德利男士牌 但也凑合能用
No Yardley Gentleman, but it does the job.
等一下 到底是怎么回事
Hang on, what's going on?
每过十分钟我总要对自己问这问题
I ask myself that every ten minutes.
她肯定是想拿我来试验贩毒路线
She must've been using me to test a possible drug route.
- 真聪明 - 确实啊
- Clever. - Pretty, too.
- 我其实是在说你 伍迪 - 我也是说我自己
- I actually meant you, Woody. - So did I.
来吧 小布 咱们得查查她的底细
Come on, B, we need to track her down.
抱歉 孩子 我不能这么做
Sorry, son. No can do.
那纯粹是给自己找麻烦
Got me own trouble and strife to deal with.
我前妻刚找到我
My ex-missus has just found me.
我都不知道你结婚又离婚了
I didn't know you got married or divorced.
恭喜再恭喜啊
Congratulations and congratulations.
我离开报社之后遇到她的
Met her after I left the paper.
我们离婚之后 她想夺走我的全部资产
When we got divorced, she tried to take me for everything I got.
所以你找了个好律师
So you got a good lawyer.
- 所以我就伪造了我的死亡 - 我刚想这么猜
- So I faked my own death. - That was my next guess.
我留了遗书 然后就跑到这儿躲清净
I left a suicide note, done a bunk over here.
对啊 逃到这儿还能出什么岔
Of course, what could possibly go wrong?
她几个小时之前
She walked into the bar
- 到了我的店里 - 除此之外呢
- a couple of hours ago. - Apart from that.
她想夺走我的全部资产
She's going to take me for everything I have got.
放松
Relax!
- 接下来该怎么做不是明摆着吗 - 什么啊
- It's obvious what you need to do. - What?