阳光岛怪探（2015）

and his natural habitat is... up in the air.
要请它上台来吗
Shall we get him up there?
要
Yes!
让它飞吧 杰夫
To the skies, Jeff.
飞吧 文斯·沃恩 飞吧
Fly, Vince Vaughn, fly.
就是这样 文斯 来个俯冲
That's it, Vince, swoop.
翅膀扇起来
Flap about.
不要停
Keep flapping.
好样的 文斯
Good boy, Vince.
是的 别回来了
Aye, don't come back.
文斯去找活老鼠吃了
Vince is off to find some live mice so that he can partially
它能消化老鼠的内脏
digest their entrails and
再反刍给它的幼崽
then suck them back up again for his kids.
好极了 表演也是挺容易的嘛
Great. This is a doddle.
好的 杰夫 下一只是什么
Right, Jeff, who's next?
是只大家伙
Oh, he's a big laddie.
一只秃鹫
That is a vulture
它的名字叫约翰·泰瑞
and his name is John Terry.
英格兰足球运动员
约翰的体重相当于三台割草机
John is the weight of three lawnmowers
而且四十英里外就能闻到仓鼠的味道
and can smell a hamster from 40 miles.
想看看约翰的本事吗
Want to see John do his stuff?
想
Yes!
嗨 约翰 我要用这个
Hey, John, I'm going to use this.
准备好了吗
Are you ready?
约翰...
John...
不要
don't.
不 约翰 杰夫
No, John. Jeff!
不
No.
不 约翰 别动
No, John. Stay.
约翰! 杰夫 不
John! Jeff! No.
别动 约翰
Stay, John.
杰夫
Jeff!
孩子没事
The baby's fine.
孩子没事
The baby's fine.
孩子这么小不会记得的
They don't remember anything at this age!
女士们先生们 你们是了不起的观众
Ladies and gentlemen, you have been a wonderful audience.
我是约翰·J·詹森 晚安
My name is John J Johnson, good night.
显而易见 芭芭拉虽然痴迷鹦鹉
One thing was obvious. Barbara may have been parrot crazy
但她给我的印象不像是个绑鸟者
but she didn't strike me as a bird-napper,
因此 对于谁偷走了这只会说话的鹦鹉
which led me to only one conclusion
我得出了唯一的结论
about who had taken the talking parrot.
喂 是我 快过来
Hello? It's me. Come quickly.
我想我知道是谁偷了这只鹦鹉
I think I know who's got the parrot.
还有什么事你不明白的 你个蠢货
What part of this are you not getting, you stupid man?
我没有打电♥话♥给你
I did not phone you.
还不到一小时前打的
It was less than an hour ago.
你确定没给他打电♥话♥吗 亲爱的
Are you sure you didn't call him, sweetheart?
应该由我来称呼他亲爱的
If anyone's going to call him sweetheart, it's going to be me.
你好 亲爱的 你被捕了
Hello, sweetheart. You're busted.
可... 是你
But... You?
是的 是我 帕奇里欧先生
Oui, it is me, Monsieur Pachoulithingy.
还是...
Or is it me...?
我想我知道是谁偷走了鹦鹉
I think I know who's got the parrot.
- 一点也不像我 - 一点也不像我
- Nothing like me. - It's nothing like me.
太神奇了...
That is pretty amazing...
一点也不像我亲爱的老公 好大的胆子啊
Nothing like my dear husband. How dare you?
嘘 你们会吵醒沃利的 他累垮了
Sh. You'll wake Wally, he's crashed out.
但是你心知肚明 欧伊特先生
But you know why, don't you... Mr Oowitt?
不知道你在胡扯什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
这鸟之所以精疲力尽 是因为你这两天来一直在
The bird's exhausted because you spent the last two days
给他灌药 就是放在床头的药吧
pumping it with pills, the ones by your bed?
那是我的安♥眠♥药♥
My sleeping pills.
吡拉西坦可不是安♥眠♥药♥ 那是一种健脑药
Piracetam isn't a sleeping pill, it's a memory enhancement drug.
你想让这鸟开口说话
You were trying to get the bird to talk.
你认为他知道唐把钱藏哪儿了
You thought he knew where Don stashed his cash.
什么 才没有钱 他在胡扯
What? There is no cash, he's talking rubbish.
你的兽医认为你坑走了他的养老金
Your vet thinks you weaselled away his pension money.
我知道 这是疯了
I know. Crazy
当你的养老金方案泡汤时 哈默 我就失去了一切
When your pension scheme collapsed, Hammer, I lost everything.
你毁了我的皇家休伊特号♥之梦
You sank my dream of HMS Hewitt.
我本想在甲板上举办晚会的
I was going to have deck parties.
你毁了我的生活
You ruined my life.
我还没开始呢 蠢货
Oh, I haven't even started yet, idiot
你在这个岛上已经完蛋了 休伊特
You're finished on this island, Hewitt.
我绝对会让你这辈子
I will see to it that you
连只豚鼠的肠子
never examine another guinea pig's rectum
- 也检查不了 - 你走着瞧
- for as long as you live! - You see if I don't.
你早该知道是你的兽医干的
You should've known it was the vet.
这些家伙的手脚总不太干净
Those guys have always got sticky fingers.
因此我总能干净利落的搞定 该给我钱了吧
Which leads me quite neatly on to, can I have my money, please?
跟我来 带上沃利
Follow me. Bring Wally.
跟我来 带上沃利
Follow me. Bring Wally.
- 垃圾 - 刚开始学嘛
- Rubbish. - Early days.
我要让你知道 准确地说这不是酬金
Just so you know, technically this isn't a payment,
而是慈善捐助
this is a charitable donation.
很好
Fine.
我也要让你知道
And just so you know,
准确地说鸟笼里没有鸟
technically this isn't a bird in the bird cage,
就一只鸟笼
it's just a bird cage.
什么 沃利在哪儿
What? Where's Wally?
- 在一个安全的地方 - 这里就是安全的地方
- He's in a safe place. - This is a safe place.
他在一个对他而言没有危险的安全之处
He's in a safe place where there's no danger of him
不会被装进枕套扔到海里
being put in a pillowcase and thrown over the side of a boat.
把我的鸟还给我
I want my bird back.
你要我找到沃利 然后再让他闭上嘴
You wanted me to find Wally so you could shut him up for good.
在你眼里 这只鹦鹉就是只老鼠
You looked at that parrot and all you saw was a rat
而你要让这只老鼠长眠海底
and you wanted to send that rat to sleep with the fishes.
很抱歉让你听到了 海格力斯
I'm sorry you had to hear this, Hercules.
你要知道我们这事没完
You know this isn't over between us.
很高兴你这么说
I'm so glad you said that.
经过这一切后 让我们重头再来
After all we've been through, let's give it another try.
为了我们的孩子 必须的
We owe it to the kids.
哦 等等 我忘了 并没有孩子
Oh, wait, I forgot, there aren't any.
那就再见了
Bye then.
喂
Oi!
- 要啤酒吗 - 干杯 伍迪
- Beer? - Cheers, Woody.
那我的钱呢
Now, where's my money?
我还以为你不会问呢
I thought you'd never ask.
哈哈 给我 孩子 我们之前怎么说的
Ha-ha! Come on, son. Now, what did we say?
四八分 对吧
80/40, right?
我分得八成
So that is 80 for me
另外四成... 也归我
and 40 for me.
是啊 似乎很公平
Yeah. That seems fair.
那么 现在说说 沃利怎么样了
So, come on, then, what happened with Wally?
沃利在鹦鹉天堂
Wally's in parrot heaven.
到头来你杀了他
You offed it? After all that?
他被收养在芭芭拉的保护区里
Birdie Barbara's got it at the sanctuary.
他现在过得比我好
He lives a better life than I do.
说到这儿 我想我惹上了麻烦
Speaking of which, I think the flush has gone on my kettle.
这不是我的问题 孩子
Not my problem, old son.
顺便说句也不是你的
Or yours, by the way,
因为这个周末我就要让你拍拍屁♥股♥走人了
cos I want you gone by the end of the week.
你说得对 小布
Yeah. You're right, B.
还是这样好得多 和一个名叫米基的十七岁武装劫匪一起
I'll be much better off back in London sharing a cold, grey cell
一天二十三小时呆在伦敦的冰冷灰暗的囚室里
for 23 hours a day with a 17st armed robber named Mickey.
一开始我和米基处得很好
Me and Mickey get on well at first,
后来有一天周四 我错拿了米基的毛巾
then one Thursday I pick up Mickey's towel by mistake.
米基很不高兴 真的很不高兴
Mickey doesn't like that. Mickey really doesn't like that.
"不 米基 求你 米基 别这样 米基"
"No, Mickey. Please, Mickey. Not like that, Mickey!"
行了 行了
All right. All right.