女大当自强

and I hit my head on the counter, going down.
-我以为他中风了 -爸
- I thought he had a seizure. - Dad!
再过几分钟他们会给我做检测
Ah, they're taking me in for tests in a few minutes
为了确保
just to make sure.
确保什么
Wait, but make sure what?
不是因为别的原因
That it isn't anything more.
-没事 没事 -好
- It's fine. It's fine. - Okay.
我们玩得很开心 我好哥们罗恩在这儿
We're havin' fun, right? I got my buddy Ron here.
我还需要什么
What else could I want?
你记得我第一任妻子吧
You remember my first wife, right?
我在医院认识她的
Yeah, I met her in a hospital.
我记得我在担架上
And I remember I was on this gurney,
我因为药物而神志不清
and I was so out of my mind on the drugs and everything,
我看着她 我以为她是女巫
and I looked at her, and I thought she was a witch,
不过是漂亮的那种
but, like, the good-looking kind.
我的天
Oh, my God.
等等
Wait.
-杀了我吧 -我爸出生在医院
- Kill me now. - You know, my dad was born in a hospital.
很多人都是
Yeah, a lot of people are.
靠 转去语♥音♥信箱了 操
Damn, she sent it to voicemail. Fuck.
你知道 这算是你的错
You know, it's kinda your fault.
你跟大家说
I mean, you were telling everybody around
我们在办公室里做了爱
that, like, we had sex in the office.
这 这不是我的错
Hey! This--this-Man, that's not my fault.
我 我没法保密
It's the--I can't-- I can't hold secrets in.
我再跟你说件事
And I'll tell you another thing, all right?
是你让波被开除的
Dude, you are the one that got Beau fired.
你才是卧底
So you're--you're the fuckin' narc, dude.
我只是替代了他 天
I just replaced him. God.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
终于来了
Fucking finally.
过来 过来 对 对 停
Hup, hup, hup, yep, yep, hup, hup, stop!
靠 凯文
Fuck, Kevin.
我只希望安妮能跟我说话
I just wish Annie would talk to me.
我总是搞砸我关心的事物
I'm always fuckin' shit up that I care about,
我很爱她
and I love her, like, so much.
瑞恩
Hey, Ryan.
这段话说得很好
That's a truly gorgeous statement.
谢谢
Thanks.
我是真心的 我受够了做一个废物
I mean it. I'm just tired of being a fuckup.
我想振作起来
I wanna get my shit together.
怎么了
What?
我很高兴你给我打了电♥话♥
I'm just so glad you called me,
因为我讨厌你们瞒着我事情
'cause I hate when you guys don't tell me stuff.
我知道 你说得对
I know. You're right.
我需要在这陪你♥爸♥ 但是
I need to be here for Dad, but...
我也需要你
I needed you.
安妮 我得跟你说件事
Annie, I have to tell you something.
我去温哥华
When I went to Vancouver,
我不是想逃避你♥爸♥或者你
I wasn't trying to get away from Dad or from you.
好吧
Okay.
我在你这么大的时候
You know, I lived in Vancouver for about a year
在温哥华生活了大约一年
when I was about your age, actually.
然后
And, um,
我在一家印度餐厅里打工 我是服务员
I worked in this Indian restaurant, and I was a waitress,
我当时跟那里很多的服务员
and I think I was dating many of the waiters there
-交往 -好吧
- at the time. - Oh. Okay.
实际上 我还跟其中一个订婚了
Um, in fact, one I was engaged to.
-什么 -是的
- What? - Yeah.
我不知道你订婚过
I didn't know you were engaged.
大概就三周
For about three weeks.
-他叫什么 -巴德
- What was his name? - Bud.
-巴德 -巴德
- Bud? - Bud.
总之 巴德和我分手了 然后
Anyway, Bud and I broke it off, and then...
我进入了波特兰的护理学院
I got into nursing school here in Portland.
然后我认识了你♥爸♥ 很快就有了你
And then I met your dad and before I knew it, I had you.
然后 我的天 我好老
And then, oh, my God, I'm fucking old.
我不觉得你老
I don't think you're old.
当你结婚或者有了孩子后
You know, when you get married, or have a baby,
你就会全身心投入
you commit yourself to caring
去关心一个人 超过你自己
for someone more than yourself.
我想在那一刻 我...
And I guess, in that moment, I just...
想稍微花点时间关心自己
wanted to care about myself for a minute.
我懂
Yeah, I get that.
我只是不明白你为什么不能告诉我
I just--I don't understand why you couldn't just tell me that.
我想是因为我觉得很丢人
I think it's because I was embarrassed.
我开始开车 我开到了温哥华
I started driving, I drove to Vancouver,
我去了那家餐厅
I went to the restaurant.
现在已经不是餐厅了
It's not even a restaurant anymore.
总之
Anyway,
我该告诉你的 我真的该告诉你的
I should've told you. I really should've told you,
但我没有 我很后悔
and I didn't, and I regret that.
好吧
Well,
我也有事要告诉你
I--I also have something to tell you.
我去堕胎了
I, uh, I had an abortion.
-亲爱的 -不过挺好的
- Oh, honey. - But it's good, actually.
那是正确的事
Like, it was the right thing, you know?
我感觉挺好的
And I--I really-I feel good about it.
我很为你骄傲 天呐
I'm so proud of you. Oh, my God.
你可以跟我说的
You know, you could've talked to me about it.
我会理解的
I really would've understood.
我知道 我想我只是
No, I do know that. I think I just...
需要自己去做
needed to do it myself.
-但我知道 -亲爱的
- But I know that. - Aw, honey.
亲爱的
Oh, honey. Oh.
看样子你♥爸♥爸回到病房♥了
Well, looks like your dad's back in the room.
我今晚会在医院里陪你♥爸♥
I'm gonna spend the night with him in the hospital tonight.
好 我也要留下来
Okay, um, well, I'll stay here tonight, too,
因为我想看到他拿到检测结果
because I wanna be here when he gets his results.
不 你不用的
Oh, no. I don't think you should.
要是有问题的话我会给你发短♥信♥
I mean, I'll text you if there's something wrong.
你在这里没什么可做的
But there's really nothing you can do, and--
你该回家
You should just go home.
-真的吗 -真的 真的
- Really? - Yeah, really, really.
-我会给你发短♥信♥ -好
- I'll text you. - Okay.
-回头见 -好
- I'll see you later. - Okay.
天 这地方就是个迷宫
Oh, God. This place is a maze.
终于来了
Finally!
她穿上了她的派对衣服来参加派对了
She puts on her party dress and joins the party.
首席女傧相来了 那我们开始吧
The maid of honor is here, let's get this thing going.
我得说 我以为派对的规模会更大
I have to say, I was imagining a much bigger party.
不 我只邀请了最亲近的朋友
Nope, just my nearest and dearest
以及75块钱的烟花
and $75 worth of fireworks.
烟花
Fireworks?
我在冰淇淋里放了酒精
I put alcohol in the ice cream.
-耶 -我在大♥麻♥里放了大♥麻♥
- Yay! - I put weed in the weed!
我们去找座位吧
Let's find some seats.
-叮叮叮 -开始了
- Ding, ding, ding. - Here we go!
各位 我把你们叫过来 我最好的朋友
Guys, I've gathered you here, best friends
最重要的是 都是我没发生过关系的
and most importantly, no one I've ever fucked.
你那次在我旁边自♥慰♥呢
What about that time you masturbated next to me?
-那不算 -算
- That doesn't count. - That counts!
-不算 -算
- It doesn't count. - That counts.
好了 这是弗兰节 所以不算
Okay. This is Fran Fest, uh, it doesn't count.
总之
Um, anyway, uh--
我最近在经历一些事
I have been going through some shit,
关于我的生活我思考了很多
and I've been thinking a lot about my life
以及为什么约会很垃圾
and why dating is such trash.
英式英语应该说"乐色"
The British term is bin rubbish.
谁邀请你来的 你认识这里的谁
Who invited you, actually? Who do you know here?
我意识到我是个很特别的生物