女大当自强

打扰下 这个神秘袋子里是什么
Excuse me, sir. What's in this mystery pack?
兔肉干 很难吃
Rabbit jerky. It tastes like ass.
真会销♥售♥
Quite the salesman.
这顶帽子多少钱
How much for this hat?
-10块 -什么
- $10. - What?
我愿意付1000
I would have paid $1,000.
你在干什么 你半小时前去撒尿
Hey, what's happening? You went pee 30 minutes ago.
我都睡着了 快走
I fell asleep out there. Let's go.
等下 你觉得这帽子怎么样
Wait. What do you think of this hat?
很好看
I mean, gorgeous.
是吧 只要10块
I know. And it's only $10.
什么
What?
等等
Wait a minute.
你不能让我分心 我们得走了
D--you can't distract me, okay? We need to go.
我们跟你父母说我们20分钟前就该到酒店了
We told your parents we'd be at the hotel 20 minutes ago.
我们会到的
We'll get there when we get there.
你知道我有多喜欢迷你集市
You know how much I love mini-marts.
但这是你表姐的婚礼
Yeah, but it's your cousin's wedding,
你全家人从各地飞过来
and your whole family just flew in from all over the place, right?
我们得赶紧走 别拖了
So we need to go. Stop stalling.
这是20 你要买♥♥两顶帽子
Here's $20. You need to get two hats.
真专横
So bossy.
听上去某人需要喝酒和吃饭
Sounds like someone needs a little wining and dining,
如果你懂我意思的话
if you know what I mean.
喝酒 吃饭 互口
Wining, dining, 69-ing.
女大当自强
第二季 第五集
拜托
Okay, come on.
这周末真的会那么糟吗
Is it really gonna be that bad this weekend?
一开始会很棒
I mean, it'll be amazing at first.
然后第二天 稍微差一点
And the next day, a little less great.
到了最后一天
And by the last day,
我会为了逃离而咬断自己的手臂
I'll be chewing my own arm off to escape.
永远都是这样
That's the way it always goes.
但这次也许会不一样
Okay, but it might be different this time, you know?
我会去 我们可以让它变得好玩
I'll be there. We can make it fun.
不 你不是去玩乐的
No, you're not there to have fun.
你是去做我的情感支持用动物
You're there to be my emotional support animal, okay?
别让人爱抚你
Do not let people pet you.
但你还会有拉马尔
Okay, but you'll also have Lamar.
是吗 我有拉马尔
Oh, really? I will have Lamar?
夫人 不是那样的 好吗
Ma'am, it's actually not like that, okay?
我现在名花有主了
I'm a happily taken woman.
这将是超过100个爱指手画脚的尼日利亚人
This is gonna be 36 consecutive hours
连续36小时聚集在一个地方
of over 100 judgmental Nigerians in one place.
不会很轻松
It's not gonna be easy.
但这是艾比的婚礼
Okay, but it's Abby's wedding.
根本没人会注意到我们在那
Like, no one's gonna even notice that we're there.
那样只会更糟
That makes it worse.
他们总是拿我和艾比比
They always compare me and Abby.
那这周末对艾比来说不好过了
Wow. Well, tough weekend for Abby then, okay?
她该颤抖了
She should be shakin' in her boots,
因为你是认证的完美天使
because you are a certified perfect angel.
看 情感支持用动物就该这样
See, that is what an emotional support animal does.
谢谢
Thank you.
好 汪汪 我的母狗
Okay. Bow wow, my bitch.
这是不是说你要给我吃好吃的
Does that mean you're gonna give me little treats?
-嗯 -很好
- Yeah. - Okay, good.
-我会喂你残羹剩饭 -是吗
- I'll feed you scraps. - Yeah?
看看你
Look at you!
看 是我们的弗朗西丝
Look! It's our Frances!
姨妈好
Hi, Auntie.
她还带来了她的白人♥妻♥子
And she brought her white wife.
不不 这是我的闺蜜 安妮
Oh, no, no. This is my best friend, Annie.
不过我很乐意在我的白人余生里
But I'm happy to be the white wife
都做白人♥妻♥子
for the rest of my white life.
我可爱的弗朗西丝
Oh, my sweet Frances!
妈
Oh, hi, mum.
-我好想你 -我也想你
- I've missed you! - I've missed you too.
你真美
You look so beautiful.
-看看你 安妮 -到爸爸这来
- And look at you, Annie! - Come get your father.
你们俩都太美了
Both of you, so gorgeous!
你们自己把这么多行李提过来的吗
Hey, you girls carried all this heavy luggage yourselves?
你们这是炫耀啊
Now you're just showing off.
我的天
Oh, my God.
喝酒 吃饭 互口
"Wine 'em, dine 'em, 69 'em."
我不懂那是什么意思
I don't know what this means.
-终于来了 -嗨
- Finally. - Hi!
怎么样啊 姐姐
What's happening, sis?
-嗨 -好啊
- Hi. - Hello.
你们让我担心死了
You girls had me worried.
你们晚到了三小时
You are three hours late.
妈 拜托 我们只晚到了45分钟
Mum, please. We're only 45 minutes late.
-路上很堵 -是吗
- There was a lot of traffic. - Oh, really?
我们从伦敦过来 我们都准时到达
We came from London, but we're on time.
你总是迟到
You're always late.
你出生的时候都迟到
You were late for your own birth.
我分娩了53个小时 有史以来最热的夏天
I was in labor for 53 hours. The hottest summer on record.
你总是提起这事
You always bring this up.
你八个月没见到我
I mean, you haven't seen me in eight months,
这就是你想聊的
and this is what you want to talk about.
如果你准时的话我们会有更多时间
Well, we would have more time if you were on time.
妈 路上堵车
Mum, please. There was traffic.
看 婴儿
Oh, look, a baby.
看看那婴儿
Aw, look at that baby!
这招总是奏效
Ah, always works.
我去把这些放到房♥间里
Let me get these to our room.
如此快气氛就变得这么紧张 你还好吗
That got so real, so quick. Are you okay?
那不算什么
What? That was nothing.
-我们只是在打招呼 -是吗
- We were just saying hello. - Really?
因为我感觉那样多的事实
'Cause I felt like that amount of honesty
会在20年里慢慢
would have slowly seeped out of my mom
从我妈体内渗出
over the course of 20 years,
而你们只用两分钟就说完了
and you guys covered it in two minutes.
让我叹为观止
I'm honestly impressed.
弗朗西丝和拉马尔小的时候
And every time I took Frances and Lamar out shopping
每次我带他们去购物 弗兰就会跑掉
when they were very little, Fran would run off.
消失
Just disappear.
有次 我发现她站在马桶里
Once, I found her standing in a toilet.
什么
What?
弗兰 你真是个坏宝宝
Fran, you were a very bad baby.
天 我那是在探索
Oh my God, I was exploring.
安妮 你会借此机会
So, Annie, will you be taking this opportunity
再次和我儿子交欢吗
to fornicate again with my son?
什么
What?
-爸 -我的天
- Dad. - My God.
我 所以人人都知道一切
I'm--so, everyone just knows everything.
是的
Yes.
跟他们讲你的事会容易点
It was just easier to tell them about your stuff,
这样他们就不会过问我
'cause that way they don't ask about me.
谢谢
Wow, thank you.
吃啊
Eat!
如果不把盘子里的菜吃干净 那就是对我的侮辱
If you don't clean your plates, it's a slap in my face.
安妮 这是我们姐姐 布米
Annie, this is our sister, Bunmi.
美丽新娘的妈妈
The mother of the beautiful bride.
我爱婚礼
I love weddings.
这是一切的起点
It's the beginning of everything.
然后生活 然后就死了
Then you live, and then you are dead.
伊雅瓦
Iyawa.
她最烦了
She's the worst.
祝贺你们的婚礼 姨妈
Congratulations on the wedding, Auntie.