现在启示录

Now Apocalypse S01E02

Part 1 May 22, 2020, 9:08 a.m.

现世末日
第一季第二集
《现世末日》前情提要
Previously, on Now, Apocalypse:
抱歉老兄
Sorry, dude.
我第一次见杰思罗时
You know, when I first met Jethro--
-教教我宝贝 -你能不能稍稍慢点
- Teach me, baby! - Can you slow down a litle bit, please?
巴纳巴斯发一个你的剧本给我看看吧
Barnabas, you should send me one of your scripts.
真的吗
For real?
给我跪下
Get on your knees!
如果你想尝试一下"开放式关系"
If you want to give the "Open relationship" thing a... try?
似乎有奇怪的事在发生
Something... strange seems to be going on here.
这感觉有点像是
This sort of feels like:
-命运 -命运
- Fate! - Fate.
卡莉你就没经历过奇怪的预兆吗
Carly, don't you ever get bizarre premonitions?
冷静冷静
Breathe! Breathe!
稍等一下
Oh, hold on a second.
不好意思
Whoo. Sorry, okay.
怎么样
Ha! What's up?
你还好吗你看起来有点心不在焉
You alright? You seem kind of out of it.
我还行
I'm fine.
我刚从自行车上摔下来了
Uh, I just took a spill on my bike.
-但我没大碍 -你确定
- But I'm fine though. - You sure?
你跟刚见了鬼一样
You, you look like you just saw the Boogeyman.
我没事
I'm good.
希芙琳人呢
What- so uh, where, where's Severine?
她...
Uh, she...
回家了
went home.
你俩没吵架吧
Everything uh, good with you guys?
这个嘛
Well...
我爱你
Oh, I love you.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你也要♥射♥了♥吗
Are you going to finish too?
如果是的话能快点吗
If so, can you please hurry.
我得赶紧回去工作
I need to go so I can get back to work.
什么你不留下来过夜吗
What, you're not staying over?
今晚不行
I can't tonight.
但我会补偿你的我保证
But I'll make it up to you, I promise.
所以你想射在里面吗
So would you like to ejaculate in my vagina?
我发现比起帮你口♥交♥这样你高♥潮♥得更快
I found that's normally faster than when I pleasure you orally.
我想说我懂
I mean, I get it.
她的工作非常重要
She's doing like really important
绝密政♥府♥事务什么的
top secret government work and shit.
但也不能这样啊
Yeah, but still.
-我明白 -抱歉兄弟
- I know... - Sorry dude.
其他什么都还好吗
Everything else okay?
我要去睡了
Uh, you know what, I'm, I'm gonna uh, to crash.
因为我过了漫长的一夜
Cause I've had a really long night.
行
Oh, cool.
尤利
Uh, Uly?
没事祝你好梦
Nothing. Uh, sweet dreams.
好晚安
Kay, night.
爬虫类外星人
爬虫类外星人外星人种类
起源与神话
爬虫类外星人族群
外星灰种人
外星人阴谋大揭秘
外星人秘密的真♥相♥
我了个去
Holy fucking...
欢迎收看你终于找到我了
Welcome, you found me at last.
外星人阴谋大揭秘米切尔·肯特
我是米切尔·肯特
My name is Mitchell Kent.
美国独♥立♥战争时期爱国者
在列克星敦和康科德战役前夜警告殖民地民兵英军即将来袭
我是当代的保罗·里维尔
And I'm speaking to you now
现在向大家发出警告
as a modern day Paul Revere to warn you
外星人的阴谋深远无孔不入
about an alien conspiracy so vast, so pervasive,
足以震慑人心
it boggles the mind.
如果你高声呼喊
And if you raise your voice
让人们警惕这一情况
to alert others to this plight
你就会遭到嘲笑和讽刺
you will be ridiculed and scorned.
那是因为他们想要你闭嘴
That's because they need to silence you.
但是我告诉你
But I'm telling you.
此时此刻
Right here and now.
别让他们得逞
Do not let them.
卡莉我跟你说
Carly, I'm telling you.
这些都是真的
This shit is totally real.
因为你在网上看到了
Because you read it on the internet?
你能不能就看一眼
Would you just take a look at this?
-这是什么 -先看一下
- What is this? - Just watch it.
尽管听起来不可思议
As incredible as it may sound
外星人解剖图
爬虫类外星人一直在渗透着我们的媒体
reptilian aliens have been infiltrating media,
政♥府♥ 以及社会的各层各面
the government, every level of our society
-长达数代之久 -伙计真的假的
- for generations. - Dude, really?
油管上的狗屁内容就成了
Some jackhole on YouTube is your idea
你的实验证据了
of empirical evidence.
这可是米切尔·肯特
This is Mitchell Kent.
他是美国境内
He's one of the leading experts
研究外星生命的带头专家之一
of extraterrestrial lifeforms in the country.
他的频道有超过两百万次的浏览记录
His channel has over two million views.
我还见过有两十亿次浏览量的猫打喷嚏视频呢
I've seen sneezing cat videos with two billion views.
那好你看看这个
Okay, here. Look, check this out.
读出来
Just read it.
奥巴马是个爬虫类外星人
Obama is a reptile.
还有普♥京♥ 希♥特♥勒♥ 伊丽莎白女王
And Putin, and Hitler, Queen Elizabeth,
比尔·盖茨还有碧昂丝
Bill Gates, and Beyoncé.
他们变换外形
They shape shift...
通过思维控制投射
via mind control projection.
我感觉你没把我说的当回事
I feel like you're not taking me seriously.
你感觉对了
Your feeling is correct.
不好意思我有点不懂
I'm sorry, I'm, I'm confused.
你看到了整件事的发生然后你又没看见吗
You- you saw this whole thing happen and then you didn't?
是有点模糊
Well, it's a little foggy,
但它和我经常做的一个怪梦一模一样
but it's exactly like this weird nightmare that I've been having.
救救我
Help me.
但之后我一定是昏了过去或者怎样
But then, I must have passed out or something
因为我记得的下一件事
because the next thing that I remember.
等等你醒来的地方
Wait. You woke up
和你骑车摔跤的地方一致吗
in the same spot where you crashed your bike?
是啊
Yeah.
你是怎么到那的
How did you get there?
难道是外星人
Did the alien finish like,
强♥奸♥完那个男的然后把你拎起来
raping the guy and then pick you up
像抱新娘一样把你抱过门槛吗
and carry you like a bride over the threshold?
-我不知道 -好吧尤利
- I don't know. - Okay, Uly.
你知道我爱你就像爱自家姐妹一样
You know that I heart you like a homely sister.
但你♥他♥妈♥的到底嗑了多少药
But how fucking high were you?
-就一点点 -正是
- A little bit high? - Exactly.
所以拜托我们能放下这个事了吗
So please, can we just move on?
多给我讲讲你和性感男孩加布里埃尔的基情
Give me all the dirt on sexy angstboy... Gabriel.
我们真是一见如故
Yeah, uh, we kinda really hit it off.
等等如果有人看到我们怎么办
Wait, wait, what if someone sees us?
这不是很危险吗
Isn't this kind of dangerous?
这才是有趣之处不是吗
That's what makes it fun right?
就在那个脏乱的小胡同里吗
Right there in the gross alley?
刺♥激♥
That's hot.
但当我们到达高♥潮♥的时候
But then when we came,
就变得有些疯狂了
well it got like sort of crazy.
高♥潮♥不就是这样的吗
Isn't it like the definition of coming.
不不是诡异魔幻那种疯狂
No, no, we're talking like bizarre, shroomy, crazy.
就像宇宙里的什么东西开始占据我们
Like something cosmic was starting to take over our--
好了我要打断你了
Okay, hey, hey. I'm gonna stop you right there.
你总是倾向于和这种男生约会
You have the tendency to meet these guys--
不不是那样的
No, it was-- it wasn't like that.
我只是说别在短时间内
I'm just saying, don't make too big a deal
把一切小题大做