奇迹缔造者

独♥立♥石
Wow. Independence Rock.
很壮美 是吧
Glorious, isn't she?
我看着就像坨屎
Kinda looks like a turd to me.
还不是成型的屎
And not a solid turd, either.
就是松散的一滩
Just a sad loosey.
不是松散的一滩
It is not a sad loosey.
独♥立♥石标志着我们路程的一半
Independence Rock marks the halfway point of our journey.
如果我们能在独♥立♥日那天赶到那里
If we can make it there by the 4th of July
那我们就能顺利在入冬之前抵达俄勒冈
it means we're on track to get to Oregon before winter.
明天就是独♥立♥日 我们肯定到不了
That's tomorrow. We'll never make that.
我们也许不能安然无恙地赶到
We may not make it in one piece,
但我会让我们及时到达的
but I'll get us there in time.
系好安全带
Strap in.
要开始颠簸了
It's about to get bumpy.
可得抓紧了 神父
Y'all hang on tight, Rev.
你知道我们还是走得无比慢吧
You do realise we're still going incredibly slowly, right?
这些牛现在可卖♥♥力气呢
These oxen are really humming now.
我们这速度也就...
I mean, we can only be going, uh...
每小时四五英里吧 最多了
four, five miles an hour, tops.
待在我身边 宝贝
Stay with me, baby!
我还是下车走路吧
Yeah, I'm probably just gonna get out and walk.
独♥立♥石见吧
See you guys at Independence Rock, I guess.
奇迹制♥造♥者：俄勒冈之旅
第六集
很棒吧 勇敢的先驱们
Isn't it wonderful? All these brave pioneers
这旅途中小憩一番
taking a break from the trail
庆祝我们伟大的民族 来...
to celebrate our great nation by--
喝个烂醉
Gettin' drunk!
好了 来吧
All right, come on!
谁准备好来点啤酒味了
Who's ready for some ale pong?
我打算在早饭前就喝断片
I'm trying to get blackout by breakfast.
农民强恩 你先来
Farmer John, you're up first.
来吧 小婊♥子♥
Come on, bitch.
再来一份水牛滑 麦吉尔奶奶
Hit me with another buffalo slider, Granny McGill.
这会就吃红肉有点早了吧
A little early to be hitting the red meat, no?
我一般都是跟泽克一起过独♥立♥日的
I usually spend 4th of July with Zeke,
可他现在跟菲德拉在蜜月马车上
but he's in his honeymoon wagon with Phaedra,
留我独自消愁
leaving me to eat my feelings.
这么说的话 来两份
In that case, make it two.
怎么了 你有什么烦恼
Oh, yeah? What's your problem?
我只是很不爽
I'm just bummed that Trig
小骗再也不想见到我了
never wants to see me ever again.
某种程度上 感情的痛
You know, in some ways, the emotional hurt
比她打在我背上的子弹还痛
is worse than the bullets she put in my back.
也不是 还是子弹要疼得多
Well, no. The bullets were actually much worse.
有一颗现在还卡在我脊柱上 疼得要死
I still have one lodged in my spine that's sheer agony.
本尼叔叔
Hey, Uncle Benny!
你能带我们去游乐场吗
Will you take us around the fair?
小东西 我说了多少次了
Okay, squirt, I keep telling you--
我不是本尼叔叔 我是少年本尼
I'm not Uncle Benny. I'm Benny the Teen,
在世的最可怕的不法之徒
the most feared outlaw alive.
求你了
Please?
好吧 你们赢了
All right, you win.
但要是敢提起气球帽子 我会开枪的
But if I hear one word about balloon hats, I'll shoot you.
棒
Yes!
泽克
Oh, Zeke!
独♥立♥日快乐
Happy 4th.
你也快乐
Mm. Happy 4th to you, too.
可别把自己弄得太兴奋
Whoo. Don't get too excited.
抱歉 我累坏了
I'm sorry, I am just exhausted.
我和菲德拉进行了一晚上
Phaedra and I have been going at it all night.
别给我勾勒画面啊
Oh, don't paint the whole picture.
不 不是的 我们一直在祷告
No, no, it's not that. We were praying.
别误会
And don't get me wrong--
我跟下一个敬畏上帝的人一样喜欢祷告
I like praying as much as the next God-fearing man.
一天两次 如果中途有零食的话
Twice a day, maybe three times
一天三次也行
if I have a snack in the middle.
但我希望我跟她
But I just wish there was something else
能有其他的连结 你懂吗
we could connect on, you know?
不如把那些都忘了吧
Well, hey, why don't you just forget about all that?
这是我们最爱的节日
Okay, this is our favourite holiday!
咱们去找点经典的普鲁泽克的乐子吧
Let's go get into some classic Prudence/Zeke hijinks.
-好主意 -没错
- Hey, that's a great idea. - Yeah.
我把菲德拉也叫上
And I'll bring Phaedra.
这就是我们可以产生连结的点
This is what we can connect on.
毕竟 谁能拒绝有魔力的独♥立♥日呢
I mean, who can resist the magic of July the 4th?
我的意思其实是 就我俩
You know, I kinda just meant, like, a you and me thing.
我现在就去告诉她
I'm gonna go tell her right now.
这简直太棒了 普鲁 太谢谢你了
This is awesome. Pru, thank you so much.
奶奶 来两份
Granny, make it a double.
该死
Damn it!
这破游戏被动了手脚
This stupid game is rigged!
祝下次好运
Better luck next time.
把熊给我
Give me the bear.
快点
Do it.
给你们
Here you go.
谢谢 本尼叔叔
Thanks, Uncle Benny!
不客气
Ah, you're welcome.
别耍花招
No sudden moves.
因为有人要收到一个拥抱了
'Cause someone's getting a hug! Ooh!
我想死你了
I missed you.
你就是这么杀人的吗
Is this how you kill people?
不 我今天不当赏金猎人
Oh, no. I'm not bounty hunting today.
今天是全国假日 工会搞的事
It's a national holiday. Some union thing.
他是谁啊 本尼叔叔
Who's that, Uncle Benny?
小家伙
Hey, little guy.
我是你本尼叔叔的敌人
I'm an enemy of your Uncle Benny's.
我的工作就是追杀他
It's my job to hunt him down and kill him
因为他是国内悬赏最高的人
because he's the most wanted man in the country
他应该烂在地狱里
and he deserves to rot in hell!
虽然现在大家都对抓小骗比较有热情
Even if everyone here is going gaga for Trig.
等等 小骗在这里
Wait, Trig is here?
是啊 她在搞一票大的盗窃行动
Oh, yeah. She's doing some big heist.
算是她犯罪狂欢的
It's part of this crazy crime spree she's on.
太傻了
It's so stupid.
真傻
Stupid.
不过我可能还是该去看看 是吧
Well, maybe I should just check it out, though, right?
看看这么咋咋唬唬的到底在干什么
Just see what all the fuss is about.
孩子们 想去看看新鲜热乎的犯罪现场吗
Hey, kids. You want to check out an active crime scene?
能做的也太多了
Ah, so much to do!
我们可以把名字刻在独♥立♥石上
We could carve our names into Independence Rock.
快看 那有个见面会
Ooh, look! There's a meet-and-greet
跟山姆大叔在他的白宫仙境里
with Uncle Sam in his White House Wonderland.
-你想选哪个 -我都想
- What sounds good to you? - Uh, all of it.
你呢 菲德拉
What do you think, Phaedra?
抱歉 你问什么来着
Oh, um, sorry. What was the question?
我没明白这三明治得怎么吃
I'm just so confused by this sandwich.
你可能得竖着往嘴里放 亲爱的
Right, yes. No, you want a more perpendicular entry, dear.
-这样吗 -不是
- This? - Ah, no.
就是 按轴线转一下
Like, turn it on its axis.
另一条轴 转一圈 就...
The other axis. Rotate it, like...
抱歉 我搞不懂
I'm sorry, I just-- I don't get this.
这一切我都不明白 我们到底是在庆祝什么
Or any of this. I mean, what exactly are we celebrating here?
追求幸福吗
The pursuit of happiness?
幸福是一种放纵
Happiness is an indulgence
是我们应该远离的
that should be run away from.
不是的 你只是角度没对
Oh, no, you're just not seeing it the right way.
我小时候在孤儿院时
When I was at the orphanage growing up,
曾用一个又脏又旧的枕套做过一面美国国旗
I used to make an American flag out of a dirty old pillowcase.
拿在手里挥舞着
And I'd wave it around
假装我在自♥由♥的土地上
and pretend I was in the Land of the Free.