维亚童话故事

白雪公主
你好 猎人先生
Hello, Mr. Huntsman.
晚上好 白雪公主
Good evening, Snow White.
要尝尝我的松饼吗
Would you like to try one of my Congo bars?
装得正常点
明天开始减肥应该也行
Well, I guess I can start my diet tomorrow.
天哪
Oh, my god!
这是我吃过最好吃的东西了
This is the best thing I've ever eaten in my life!
味道就像你的容貌一样
It tastes almost as good as you look --
太美味了
amazing.
猎人啊
Oh, Huntsman.
那个小贱♥人♥
That little tramp!
我的女儿白雪公主
There's no way my daughter, Snow White,
做出的松饼绝对不能比我做的美味
makes better Congo bars than me, the queen!
魔镜 赶紧给我醒来
Mirror Max, wake your dimwitted ass up!
你好 皇后
Oh, hi, Queenie.
最近怎么样
How's it going?
想玩优诺牌吗
You want to play UNO?
先尿裤子的才算赢
First one to piss their pantaloons wins.
不 我不想玩优诺牌
No, I don't want to play UNO.
我需要你...
I need you to...
好吧 好吧
Okay. Okay.
就玩一把
I'll play one quick round of UNO.
太好了
Yippee!
真棒
Yay!
好了 你赢了 现在听我说
Yay, you win. Now listen!
谁做的松饼最好吃
Who's the best Congo bar maker of them all?
是我吗
Is it me?
不 让我想想
Nyeh, nyeh, let me think!
是你女儿 白雪公主
It is your daughter, Snow White,
全维拉迪亚就属她的松饼最好吃
who makes the best Congo bars in Villardia.
而且她还比你漂亮
And she's also hotter than you.
我不能忍♥
I can't stand for this!
我知道了
I know.
如果我灭了她 我的松饼就是全维拉迪亚最好吃的了
If I eliminate her, then I'll be the best Congo bar maker in Villardia!
我知道韩国城有一家巴西莓碗餐厅
So, yeah, I know a little acai bowl place in Koreatown.
-猎人 -我不确定
- Oh, Huntsman. - I don't know.
也许我们可以乘豪车过去
Maybe we could ride a little Lime over,
-然后去吃一顿 -猎人
- grab a bite. - Huntsman!
抱歉 我的皇后
S-So sorry, my queen.
我刚刚正在和您那位
Uh, I was just talking to your generous and --
慷慨又可爱的女儿白雪公主说话
and lovely daughter, Snow White.
你尝过她的松饼吗
Have you tried her Congo bars?
太好吃了
They are delicious.
跟我来
Follow me.
巴西莓碗 乘豪车 七点半 到时见
Acai. Lime. 7:30. See you then.
快点
Now!
我有个任务交给你
I have a little job for you.
应该很容易
Should be easy.
应该很快就能完成
Should be quick!
我就是为任务而来的
That's what I'm here for.
我要你带我女儿去森林里散步
I want you to take my daughter for a walk in the woods.
乐意效劳
My pleasure.
她很聪明 也很风趣
She's smart. She's funny.
她做的松饼还很好吃
She makes great Congo bars.
你知道那种大型伐木机器吧
And then, you know those lumberjack machines?
知道
Yeah.
你是指碎木机吗
You mean wood chippers?
没错 就是它
Yes. That's it!
我要你把她扔进碎木机里
I want you to put her in one of those.
给她锯个粉粉碎
Just chop her up real good.
什么
What?!
快去
Now, do it!
否则就把你扔进去
Or, it'll be you in that lumberjack machine.
为皇后在所不辞
Uh, anything for my queen.
很好 记得要带给我
Good. Oh, and, uh, bring me back
装满她尸体碎块的袋子
a Ziploc bag full of her chunks,
证明你完成了任务 好吗
just to prove that you did it, okay?
是 我的皇后
Yes, my queen.
来森林散步可真是个好主意 猎人先生
Going for a walk in the woods was such a good idea, Mr. Huntsman.
我说过 叫我麦克就好
I told you, c-call me Mike.
你听见了吗
Hey, do you hear that?
听起来像是猫叫
Sounds like a kitten meowing.
我们去看看吧
Uh, let's, uh, check it out.
一台碎木机
A lumberjack machine?
有只可怜的动物被困在里面了
Some poor animal is stuck inside.
按下按钮
我办不到
I can't do it!
这只是一台录有猫叫的录音机
It's just a tape recorder making that sound.
你敢相信吗 麦克
Can you believe that, Mike?
-我真的办不到 -麦克
- I just can't do it! - Mike?
我爱你 白雪公主
I love you, Snow White!
麦克
Mike?
听我说
I -- Uh, listen! Yo!
你妈妈很嫉妒你做的松饼 她想要你的命
Your mom's insanely jealous of your Congo bars, and wants you dead!
-你得藏起来 -什么
- You have to hide! - What?
你妈妈想要你的命
Your moms wants you dead.
你必须离开这里
You got to get out of here...
永远不要回来
and never come back.
只有一个地方可以藏身
There's only one place to hide --
小矮人抵抗组织
the dwarf resistance!
-什么 -小矮人抵抗组织
- What? - The dwarf resistance!
赶紧走
Get the fuck out of here!
如果皇后发现我放走了白雪公主
If the queen finds out I let Snow White go,
她会把我关进地牢 折磨我好多年
she'll put me in a dungeon, and torture me for years!
她永远都不能折磨我了
And she'll never torture me,
因为我不会让她有这个机会
'cause I won't give her the pleasure!
永别了 白雪公主
Goodbye, Snow White!
♪二四六八♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight ♪
♪杀死皇后真是太好了♪
♪ Killing the queen will be really great ♪
♪十六二一♪
♪ Ten, six, two, one ♪
♪杀死皇后真是有趣至极♪
♪ Killing the queen will be lots of fun ♪
♪二四六♪
♪ Two, four, six ♪
卧♥槽♥
Holy shit!
是白雪公主
It's Snow White!
处决她
Execute her!
不 求求你们
No! Please!
我刚刚从邪恶的皇后手上逃出来
I just escaped from the evil queen.
她想要我的命
She was trying to have me killed!
怎么才能让我们相信
How do we know that?
她很嫉妒我做的松饼
She was jealous of my Congo bars.
尝尝
Try one.
这是我吃过最美味的松饼
This is the best Congo bar I've ever had.
能把松饼做得这么好吃的人
Nobody who makes Congo bars this good
绝对不会是骗子
could be a liar.
她是个妒忌的皇后
She's a jealous queen.
如果洛奇相信她 我也相信她
Well, if Roach believes her, I believe her.
好了 白雪公主
Okay, Snow White.
我们相信你
We believe you.
你们这些女小矮人在峡谷里做什么呢
What are you tiny women doing down in this canyon?
我们是一个民兵组织
We're a militia.
没错 我们是反皇组织
Yeah. We're part of D-U-M, DUM --
反对皇后统治的小矮人组织
Dwarves Usurping the Monarchy.
我们会手刃邪恶皇后
And we're gonna take down the evil queen,
解放人♥民♥
and set the people free!
我也恨我的母亲
I hate my mother, too.
让我加入你们的矮人组织怎么样
What do you say I join your little group?
无意冒犯
No offense.
你能为我们做些什么
What can you do for us?
你会开枪吗 或者是掷斧
Can you fire a gun, or throw an ax?
不 但我能为你们做营养丰富的松饼
No. But I can make you nutritious Congo bars
让你们充满力气