维亚童话故事

莴苣男孩
别担心 亲爱的
Don't worry, darling.
我们会一直努力尝试下去
We'll keep trying and trying
直到最后 我们会有一个完整的家
until, eventually, we'll have a family.
你明知道我不孕不育
You know I'm barren.
滚出去
Get the hell out of here.
肯尼斯 进来
Kenneth, get in here.
怎么了 亲爱的
Yes, my dear?
那是什么
What is that over there?
一个无家可归的人在用乌龟擦屁♥股♥
A homeless man wiping his ass with a turtle?
不 旁边那个
No, next to that.
一个单腿的欧亚人在跳绳
A one-legged Eurasian jumping rope.
不 旁边那个
No! Next to that.
-看着像莴苣园 -没错
- It looks like a rampion garden. - Yes.
我想尝尝那些美味的莴苣
I want some of that delicious rampion.
给我弄来点
Get me some.
莴苣
Rampion.
你在对我的莴苣打什么主意呢
What are you doing with my rampion?
我只想借一点
I just wanted to borrow a couple.
-你看 -我可以按一元一颗的价钱卖♥♥给你
- You see -- - I'll sell them to you for a dollar a piece.
可是我没有钱
I don't have any money, see.
这样如何 我们做笔交易
Well, how about this? We make a deal.
你想采多少莴苣都行 作为交换
You can have as much rampion as you'd like in exchange for,
这样吧 把你的第一个孩子给我
I don't know, maybe, like, your firstborn kid?
反正我老婆也生不了孩子
My wife ain't having no kid.
她的下面和火星的卫星表面一样贫瘠
She's as barren as the moons of Mars.
成交
It's a deal.
亲爱的 我给你准备了一个惊喜
Darling, I've got a surprise for you.
是莴苣吗
Is that rampion?
你感觉好点了吗
u202dIs it making you feel better?
好的不能再好了
I feel better than better.
把裤子脱了 你这个性感的莴苣贼
Take off those pantaloons, you sexy rampion thief.
是个男孩
It's a boy!
我们成功了
We did it.
有了孩子后 任何不幸都不会再降临到我们头上了
Nothing bad will ever happen to us now that we have a baby.
我们会幸福快乐地生活下去
We're going to live happily ever after.
谁啊 让他们滚远点
Who's that? Tell them to go away.
你好 还记得我吗
Hi. Remember me?
我们之前说好了 你想采多少莴苣都行
We agreed that you could have as much rampion as you pleased
代价就是你的第一个孩子
in exchange for your firstborn child.
肯尼斯 她在说什么
Kenneth, what is she talking about?
别担心 我能解决
Don't worry. I'm handling it.
孩子我带走了
I'm taking that baby.
除非我死了
Over my dead body.
我要叫你莴苣男孩
I'm going to call you Boypunzel.
想看点有意思的事吗 莴苣男孩
Do you want to see u202dsomething funny, Boypunzel?
♪我叫莴苣男孩♪
♪ My name is Boypunzel ♪
♪我有长长的头发♪
♪ I have such long hair ♪
♪多年以来 我独居在这座塔里♪
♪ Alone in this tower for so many years ♪
♪我的头发就是我妈妈的梯子♪
♪ My hair is a ladder for my mother to climb ♪
♪没有人的头发比我更长♪
♪ No one has hair as long as mine ♪
莴苣男孩 莴苣男孩 垂下你的金发
Boypunzel, Boypunzel, let down your golden hair.
是 妈妈
Yes, Mama.
你今天过得怎么样
How was your day?
还行
It was fine.
可能有点孤独吧
Just a little lonesome, I guess.
今天有别人爬上塔陪过你吗
Has anyone been up here in the tower with you today?
没有 你为什么总是问我这个问题
No. Why do you always ask me that?
随便聊聊而已
It's just small talk.
天哪 你总是这样
Jesus Christ, you always get like this.
抱歉 妈妈
I'm sorry, mother.
可能是整天都被关在塔里的原因
I guess being cooped up in this tower all day
让我有些身心俱疲
has me all frizzle-frazzled.
没关系
It's okay.
过来帮我把黑头挤了
Now come over here and pop my blackheads.
好吧
All right.
你饿了 对吗
You're hungry, aren't you?
是啊 但这个味道不怎么样
Yeah, but these don't taste very good.
行吧 继续吃就是了
Yeah, yeah, just keep eating.
妈妈 外面的世界是怎么样的
Mother, what's it like outside?
外面很危险
It's terrible out there.
充斥着混♥蛋♥ 肮脏的人们和下♥贱♥的商人
It's nothing but scumbags and dirtballs and filth merchants.
行了 你吃够了
Okay, you've had enough.
在这座快乐之塔里 你会安全得多
You're much safer up here in the tower of happiness.
好吧 我想你说得没错 妈妈
Yeah, I guess you're right, Ma.
我爱你
I love you.
我明天再回来
I'll be back tomorrow,
别忘了唯一的规矩
and remember the one rule.
不要让任何人进塔
Don't let anyone inside this tower.
再见
Good-bye.
♪我何时才能快乐♪
♪ When will I be happy ♪
♪并找到自己的真爱♪
♪ And find a love that's true ♪
♪什么时候才能不用吃黑头♪
♪ When will I stop eating blackheads ♪
♪也不必再吞下粘液♪
♪ And not have to swallow their goo ♪
♪如果我能拥有魔力♪
♪ If only I had the power ♪
♪来逃离这座孤独的塔♪
♪ To leave this lonely tower ♪
♪也不必再用黑头的粘液冲澡♪
♪ And not have to take a shower in this blackhead spew ♪
我只是一个孤独的莴苣男孩
I'm just a lonely Boypunzel, foo.
有人吗
Excuse me?
你好 你不知道吗
Hello. u202dDon't you know it's illegal
不在这座塔上安装障碍坡道是违法行为
not to have a handicap ramp on this tower?
真的吗 我不知道
Really? I didn't know that.
你最好赶紧想办法把我送上去
You better find a way to get me up there fast,
否则你就去坐牢吧
or you're going to jail.
我妈妈说过 我不能让任何人进塔
My mommy says I'm not allowed to let anyone up here.
这是明显的种族歧视
That's racism plain and simple.
好吧好吧 我会垂下我的头发
All right. All right. I'll let down my hair.
这话是什么意思
What is that supposed to mean?
看着吧
Behold!
爬上来
Climb up.
我的胳膊好疼
Ouch, my arms.
我爬不上来的 帮帮我
I'm not going to make it. Help me.
抓紧了
Hold on.
你自己一个人住在这上面吗
Do you live up here all by yourself?
我妈妈说 我得一直待在塔里
My mom says I need to stay up in this tower
因为外面的世界太危险了
because it's too dangerous out there.
你每天都做些什么
What do you do all day?
我唱歌♥ 用鸟屎做朋友
I sing songs. u202dI make friends out of bird poop.
-真恶心 -有时候我妈妈会上来
- Ew! - u202dAnd sometimes my mom comes up here,
我会帮她挤出黑头 然后当成樱桃吃掉
and I pop her blackheads and eat them like cherries.
你得多出去走走了
You got to get out more.
但我很害怕
But I'm scared.
和我在一起 没什么好害怕的
There's no reason to be scared when you're with me.
来吧 莴苣男孩
Come on, Boypunzel.
我来带你看看这个世界
I'm going to show you the world.
♪四处看看这世界♪
♪ This and that and those and these ♪
♪外面的一切如此美好♪
♪ Everything here is to please ♪
♪外面的世界很棒 你看到了吗♪
♪ The world is great, now don't you see ♪
♪住在塔里太无聊♪
♪ Living in the tower is so crappy ♪
♪你很可爱 又有长长的头发♪
♪ You are cute and so hairy ♪
♪四处看看这世界♪
♪ This and that and those and these ♪
♪外面的一切如此美好♪
♪ Everything here is to please ♪
♪这世界并不可怕 而且很有趣♪
♪ The world is fun and not scary ♪
今天是我玩得最高兴的一天
That was the greatest time I've ever had in my life!
我也是
Me, too!
我们一起逃离这里
What do you say we run away together,
你也可以永远离开这座塔 怎么样
and you leave this tower behind forever?
我不确定
I don't know about that.
再说 我妈妈需要我帮她挤黑头
Plus, my mom needs me to pop her blackheads.
不用担心她
Don't worry about her.
是时候让你掌握自己的生活了