布鲁诺驾到！

欢迎回家 布鲁诺
我想感谢今晚大家都来捧场
I want to thank everybody for coming out tonight
庆祝布鲁诺回归我的生活
and celebrating this joyous return of Bruno into my life
和你们的生活
and into yours as well.
我度过了痛苦时期
I went through a very dark time,
没有可以寄托的人
a time I would wish on no one,
即使是我最大的敌人
not even my worst enemies.
但是现在生活闪耀
But the light is shining now,
因为这个小家伙更加光彩异常
and it's shining even brighter on this little guy.
让我们向布鲁诺举杯
So let's raise our cups to Bruno.
-说得好 -我爱他
- Hear. - I love him.
让我们开始狂欢吧
And let's get this motherfucking party started!
兄弟
Man.
昨晚玩得很疯啊
Shit got crazy last night.
没错
Hell, yeah, it did.
我他妈的昏过去了
Passed the fuck out.
我靠 你把什么东西丢我身上了 兄弟
Come on, man. What the hell did y'all throw on me, man?
我们什么都没丢啊
We didn't throw nothing on you, man.
天哪
Oh, my God.
不会吧 马乔 我靠
No, Macho. Come on, Macho.
网飞出品
布鲁诺驾到
兄弟 那不是狗
Hey, man, that's not a dog!
你说什么
What's that, boss?
他说那不是狗
He said that's not a dog.
猫和人一样 也要锻炼
Yo, cats are people, too. They need exercise.
不可理喻 走吧 跳跳
Unreal. Come on, Skippy.
好吧 兄弟 待会见
All right, man. See you later.
好的
All right, yo.
先生 你的狗的狂犬病疫苗需要更新了
Sir, your dog's rabies vaccines need to be updated.
什么
Uh, excuse me?
你叫马尔科姆·巴特罗还是宝贝
Are you, uh, Malcolm Bartello or Baby?
我是马尔科姆 你怎么知道我的名字
I'm Malcolm. How do you know my name?
扫描你的狗的芯片
Scanned your dog's microchip.
保留他主人的数据库
Keeps a database of all his owners.
-那谁是宝贝 -不知道 可能是另一个主人
- Then who's Baby? - Don't know. Probably another owner.
我是唯一的主人
I'm the only owner.
没有姓 就一个名字
Well, there's no last name, just Baby,
可能打错了吧
so could be a typo.
不管怎样 这些标签都过期了
Anyway, those tags are expired.
你要去重新注射疫苗了
You're gonna have to get his vaccination updated.
你可以网上付款
Now, you can pay this...
或者寄支票过来
online, or you can mail a check.
我不会拿那张票的 那就是个狗屁
I'm not taking that ticket. That's a bullshit ticket.
你就是个狗屁警♥察♥
You're a bullshit cop.
我是公园管♥理♥员♥
I'm a park ranger.
你怎么不拿些树枝
Why don't you take some branches,
捆在一起 当个手铐
hold them together, and handcuff those?
解决浣熊袭击人逃跑之类的破事
Or go solve a raccoon hit-and-run or some shit like that.
这些不是公园管♥理♥员♥的职责
Those are not the duties of a park ranger.
-就这还是公园吗 -对
- Is this even a park? - Yes.
说真的吗 一棵树是公园
Seriously? This tree is a park?
大森林公园 建于1939年
没错
Yes, it is.
那哈维呢 你怎么不去扫描他的狗
Look. What about Harvey? How come you don't scan his dog?
那是狗粮广♥告♥里的那只狗吗
Hey! Is that that dog from the dog-food commercials?
怎么了 没错
Why, yes, it is.
她本人更漂亮 先生
She's even more beautiful in person, sir.
祝你今天过的愉快
You have a great day.
谢谢你 女士 祝你今天过得愉快
Aw, thank you, ma'am. You have a blessed day.
感谢您的辛勤工作和服务
And thank you for all your hard work and service.
你不扫描狗的微芯片吗
You're not gonna scan that dog's microchip?
那条狗是名人
That dog is a celebrity.
我确信她的疫苗是最新的
I'm sure her vaccinations are up-to-date.
这到底是怎么回事
What's this even about, anyway?
这里从来没有公园管♥理♥员♥
There's never been a park ranger here.
这个地区发生了很多次偷狗事件
Well, there's been a lot of dog theft in the area,
所以市政♥府♥把我派到这里
so the city sent me down here
去做一点 破窗 的治安工作
to do a little broken-windows policing.
破窗
Broken windows?
这是犯罪学理论
It's a theory in criminology
如果你对小的违法行为采取严厉措施
that if you come down hard on small infractions,
就能减少大规模的违法行为
it'll reduce the larger ones.
所以你的意思是 如果你给我一张票
So let me get this straight-- if you give me a ticket,
这能防止我的狗被偷走吗
that's gonna prevent my dog from getting stolen?
对
Yes.
这是我听过的最愚蠢的事
That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard.
-你的票 -我不会拿的
- Your ticket. - I'm not taking that ticket.
好吧 没事 这张票会找到你的
Okay. That's all right. The ticket will find you.
什么
What the--
好吧 我不会付钱的
Well, I'm not paying it.
你可以上法庭
You can take it to court.
-好吧 那就法庭 -只是想让你知道
- Well, then court it is. - Well, just so you know...
我从不错过开庭日
I never miss a court date.
我也不会
Neither do I.
你可以在这里插入卡
You can insert your card here.
布鲁诺
Oh, Bruno!
是布鲁诺
It's Bruno!
我要去和布鲁诺一起玩了
I'm gonna get some Bruno time,
布鲁诺 布鲁诺
Bruno time,Bruno time
小狗狗
Oh, puppy!
-布鲁诺 -好了
- Oh, Bruno! - All right. All right.
-布鲁诺 过来 -我的狗呢
- Bruno, come here. - And, uh, what about my dog?
你现在应该关心的是特里克茜
You need to be loving on Trixie right now.
我刚付了你400美元
I just paid you $400.
-她很有活力 对吧 -嗯
- She's a feisty one, huh? - Hmm.
所以 我来看兽医
So, uh, here to see the vet,
给布鲁诺注射最新的狂犬病疫苗
get Bruno's rabies vaccination up-to-date.
当然 马尔科姆 她马上就来
Sure thing, Malcolm. She'll be with you in a minute.
谢谢你
Thank you.
马尔科姆
Hey, Malcolm.
你下星期三还来接休伊 对吗
You still picking up Huey next Wednesday, right?
没问题
I got you.
不听话 小石子 不
Bad Pebbles. Oh, no.
不要介意小石子 他只是在玩
Don't mind little Pebbles. He's just playing.
他通常不会这样叫
He doesn't usually bark like this.
你想买♥♥下他吗
Do you want to buy him off me?
他是一只很棒的狗 我只是经常旅行
He's a great dog. I just travel a lot.
不用了 谢谢
I'm good. Thank you.
我没在玩 我是认真的
I'm not playing! I'm dead serious!
我要搞砸你 你听见了吗
I will fuck you up! You hear me!?
我要把你的小猎犬撕成碎片
I will tear your little puggle ass to pieces!
小石子 停下 安静
Pebbles, I said no! Quiet!
你真走运有她在这护着你
Oh you're so lucky she's here!
你最好祈祷她能一直拉住我不放
You better pray she keeps holding me back!
该祈祷的是你 狗♥杂♥种♥
You better pray motherfucker!
布鲁诺
Bruno?
小家伙怎么样 他还好吗
How's the little guy doing? How's he doing?
还行 小心你的手
All right. Watch the hands.
等一下 这是什么
Oh, wait a second. What is this?
怎么了 什么东西
What is it? What?
谢天谢地 不要紧
Oh, thank God. Never mind.
我还以为在他耳后摸到了肿块
Thought I felt a bump behind his ear.
如果真是那样就很可能肿瘤
Could've been a tumor.
它们是这些品种的狗狗的常见病
They're very common in these breeds.
我们必须给他做一下全身X光检查
We should definitely do a full-body X-ray.
我来这里只是为了接种狂犬病疫苗
Oh, you know, I just came here for a rabies vaccine.
没错 所以你是想遗留
Right. So you wanna leave
以后可能会患健康问题的风险
any future physical problems up to chance
不做X光检查吗
and not do the X-ray?
行吧 可以 当然 还是做X光检查吧
Okay. Yeah, sure. Let's do the X-ray.
明智之举
Smart choice.