谎言屋（2012）

- Great running into you, Doug. - Yeah.
拜 Tess
Bye, Tess.
- 好 很高兴认识你
- 也很高兴认识你
- All right, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you as well.
- 拜
- 拜
- Bye. - Bye.
她是一个好孩子 不过她成不了大玩家的
Yeah, she's a sweet kid, but, uh, she's never gonna be much of a player.
Doug 她是大人物 你听说过Green Point吗?
Doug, she's huge. Have you ever heard of Green Point?
农场直销 快速随性 过去五年开了18家门店
Farm-to-table, fast casual. 18 stores in the last five years.
即将进行一次大扩张
那...那就是Tess Symington的公♥司♥
Poised for a major expansion. That... that is Tess Symington's company.
- 什麽?
- 卧勒个大槽
- What?
- Holy shitballs.
猜猜谁要去你的龙与地下城游戏
Guess who's going to your Dungeons and Dragons game.
呃... 其实呢 Marty
我真的想要靠自己拿下这一单
Uh... actually, Marty, I would really like to close this one myself.
呃 我准备好提升自己的发挥了
我只需要你给我机会
Uh, I'm ready to step up that part of my game. I just need you to give me the opportunity.
- 行啊
- 好
- Yeah. - Okay.
- 我8:00到
- 操
- I'll be there at 8:00. - Fuck.
- Clyde 你能不能...
- 把我的蛋蛋放进你嘴裡?
- Clyde, will you...
- Put my balls in your mouth?
你干什麽呢 Jeannie? 不行
What are you doing, Jeannie? No.
把菜单递给我?
Pass me the menu?
你们听说了
So you heard.
昨天 我们的小Jeannie还是被性骚扰的人
Just yesterday, our little Jeannie. Was the one being harassed.
- 现在她是进行性骚扰的人了
- 是啊 你都长大了
- Now she's the one doing the harassing. - Yeah. You're all grown up.
- 是啊 噢...
- 噢 我好为你骄傲
- Yeah, aw... - Oh, I'm so proud of you.
我都不知道他在想什麽
I don't even know what he was thinking.
且不说做那种事太操蛋
I mean, putting aside the fact that it's an entirely fucked up thing to do,
这又不会发展成什麽事
it's not gonna amount to anything.
因为Teddy知道这是鬼扯 只是太让人讨厌而已
(pain in the ass)
'Cause Teddy knows it's bullshit, and it's just a gigantic pain in the ass.
噢 不
Oh no.
- 发生什麽了?
- 她说"屁♥股♥"时 我感受到威胁了
- What happened? - When she says "ass," I feel threatened.
- 是啊
- 我听到了"屁♥股♥裡"
- Yeah. - I heard "in the ass."
我也听到了
I heard that, too.
Clyde 如果你真的性骚扰你
那就是你人生中最美妙的一天
Clyde, if I ever sexually harassed you, that would be the best day of your life.
- 呃噢 你还好吗?
- 我不知道
- Uh-oh, you all right? - I don't know.
嘘 你很安全 冷静就好
Shh, you're in a safe place. Just calm down.
好 好 好
Okay, okay, okay.
听著 这是你第一次提交角色表
Look, it's your first time filling out a character sheet.
- 我不想要你太苛责自己
- 嘿 Doug
- I don't want you to beat yourself up.
- Hey, Doug.
你不如告诉我这是搞什麽...
How about you just tell me what...
我要你回答我一个问题 Marty 你是谁?
I want you to answer a question for me, Marty. Who are you?
好
Okay.
我是Gadric Kedirith 呃 术士
I am Gadric Kedirith. Uh, warlock.
- 呃 我的阵营是混乱中立
- 不不不不
- Uh, my alignment is chaotic-neutral.
- No, no, no, no.
我的...
My...
不 不 不
No, no, no.
别浪费我的时间了
Stop wasting my time.
我没问你是什麽 我问你是谁
I didn't ask you what you are. I asked you who you are.
呃 你看到自己干什麽了吗?
Uh, d-do you see what you've done?
你创造了一个你以为
自己应该创造的角色 但是 Marty
You've created a character you think you're supposed to create, but, Marty,
真的 最好的龙与地下城角色是切合真人的
really, the best D&D characters are personal.
它们是我们自己的延展
是我们的身份 我们想要成为的
They're extensions of ourselves, of who we are, who we want to be.
我们的希望和幻想 所以 来吧 Marty
Our hopes and fantasies. So come on, Marty.
深挖
Dig deep.
你梦想什麽?
What do you dream about?
好 现在 我梦想著成为那个
Okay. Um, right now, I am dreaming about being the guy
正在打你的脸的傢伙
who is punching you right in the face.
好极了 好啊
That's great. All right.
所以角色特点 我们写下"好战" 呃 "暴脾气"
So for character traits, let's write down "combative," uh, "short-tempered."
嘿 Doug 给我消停了
否则我他妈直接打你脸了
Hey, Doug, dial it back a thousand, or I'm gonna punch you right in your fucking face.
噢 这看起来很好玩
Oh, this looks like fun.
- 你们介意我加入吗?
- 我介意
- Do you mind if I join in? - I do.
我的角色是一个矮人 长著浓密的白鬍子
My character is a dwarf with a mangy white beard,
一直在打喷嚏 而且我在工作时总是吹口哨
who's constantly sneezing, and I always whistle while I work.
- 我知道这傢伙
- 好 你啥也不懂 好吧?
- I know this guy.
- Okay, you know nothing, all right?
因为矮人其实是非常强大的战士
而且非常擅长偏转魔法
Because dwarves are actually very strong fighters and incredibly adept at deflecting magic.
不像那些跟白雪公主玩的傻♥逼♥
Not like those shitheads who hang out with Snow White.
傻坐在那儿...垃圾 我他妈宰了他们
Just sittin' there... piece of shit. I'll fucking kill 'em.
所以我再深挖了一下Davis/Dexter的预算拨款
So I dug a little deeper into Davis/Dexter's budget allocations,
你们知道他们从研发到推广的可靠率吗?
and you know their defendable ratio of R&D to marketing?
- 不太可靠?
- 噢 不不不不 那些数据完全是捏造的
- Not so defendable? - Oh, no, no, no, no. Those books are so cooked.
每一个部门都抽了研发部的油水 我能不能?
Every department has their hands in R&D's pockets. May I?
- 请讲
- IT部给自己建了一个服务器群
- Do tell.
- I.T. built itself a server farm.
推广部帮自己弄了一些非常酷的电视广♥告♥
Marketing helped itself to some very cool TV spots.
而整个销♥售♥团队和一些非常有职业道德的医生
购置了一件夏威夷手工品
And there was a Hawaiian boondoggle for the whole sales team and some very ethical doctors.
如果这件事被公众得知
Davis/Dexter的公♥关♥将受到重大打击
Davis/Dexter would take a serious PR hit if this were to become public knowledge,
但作为公民 我们有责任保护公民权利
but, as citizens, we do have a duty to protect the civic interest.
噢 不好意思 Doug 你刚听到"责任"然后笑了?
Oh, I'm so sorry. Doug, did you just smile at the word "duty"?
没
No.
- 没?
- 没
- No? - No.
先生们 我认为我们已经找到了
能使咱无可争议的最后一块拼图
Gentlemen, I believe we have found the final piece that makes us undeniable.
- Clyde先生
- 嗯
- Sir Clyde. - Yeah.
- 你在日报那边还有朋友吗?
- 是的 先生
- Do you still have a friend at the Journal?
- Yes, sir.
- 马上打给他
- 我会的...你打给Klare 我就打
- Call him right away.
- I will... just as soon as you call Klare,
#等待 #沉默非金 #保护你的心
#waiting, #silence-is-not-golden, #protect-your-heart.
然后大概30个#有福的人们
And then about 30 #blesseds.
我打给我朋友吧
So I should call my guy.
Doug 明天早上我需要一份大致模板 你个死呆子
Doug, I'm-a need a rough deck by tomorrow morning, you fucking nerd.
- 呃 这裡挺忙的 Clyde
- 忙著玩龙吗?
- Uh, kind of have my hands full here, Clyde.
- With a dragon?
知道吗 如果你去做模板 那可能是
You know what, it might be a better allocation of resources
更好的资源分配哦
你觉得呢 Marty?
if you did the decks. What do you think, Marty?
嗯 是一个好主意 去处理吧 Clyde
Yeah, that's a good idea. Go handle it, Clyde.
我买♥♥了票要跟Kelsey去看Tame Impala乐队的表演
I have tickets to see Tame Impala with Kelsey.
噢 Tame Impala 天啊 他们懂回归模型吗?
Oh, Tame Impala, geez. Do they know anything about regression models?
- 说不定他们可以帮你呢
- 嗯
- Maybe they could hook you up. - Yeah.
Tess代表了很大一部分的生意呢 Clyde
Tess represents a pretty big piece of business, Clyde.
- 你之前都他妈不知道她是谁
- 我觉得自己无意间是知道的
- You didn't even know who the fuck she was.
- You know, I think unconsciously I did.
- 那他妈是什麽意思?
- 嗯 我知道
- What the fuck does that mean? - Yeah, I did.
- 无意间知道?
- 所以你可能想...
- Unconsciously you did?
- So you might want to, uh...
赶紧的
Ticktock.
得了吧 Marty
Come on, Marty.
- 赶紧的
- Marty 拜託 别这样
- Ticktock.
- Marty, please, come on.
- 他妈的赶紧的
- 来真的?
- Tick-the-fuck-tock. - For real?
看来你读过日报的文章了
Guessing you saw the Journal article.
乍看上去可能不是 但其实是好消息 还是大好事呢
It might not seem so at first glance, but this is a good thing. It's actually a great thing.
滥用问题发生在你就任之前
所以你能扮演白衣骑士
The abuse predates you, which allows you to play the white knight,
而且...这会给我们更大空间去做我们该做的事
and... it'll give us more room to do what we really should be doing anyway: