心向快乐

心向快乐
第一季 第二集
你这个伤疤怎么来的
Where'd you get that scar?
我从牛津郡14岁以下女子
I fell off the second-place podium
羽毛球锦标赛的亚军领奖台摔了下来
at the Oxfordshire All-Girls-Under-14 Badminton Tournament,
手臂撞到了一盘黄瓜三明治
and I hit my arm on a plate of cucumber sandwiches.
-很遗憾你遭遇了这种事 -谢谢
- I'm sorry that happened to you. - Thanks.
我不敢相信我只得了亚军
I just can't believe I got second place.
好吧
Yeah.
你这纹身是怎么来的
Where'd you get this?
监狱里
In jail.
你还觉得自己是瘾君子吗
Do you still feel like an addict?
不
Nope.
你能不能进来一起洗
Can you just get in?
不 梅 天呐
No! Mae! Oh my God!
不要啦
Oh no!
我表姐迪娜跟那个男人才认识三年
My cousin Dina's only known this guy for three years.
你不觉得他们这么快就结婚太疯狂了吗
Don't you think it's mad they're getting married?
-天呐 -梅
- Oh, God. - Mae.
梅 你得放松 我只是离开36小时而已
Mae, you need to relax. I'm only gonna be gone for 36 hours.
那就让我作为你的女伴出席 拜托了
So, just let me come as your plus-one. Please.
因为我好喜欢婚礼啊
'Cause I love weddings.
我会特地买♥♥双亮红色的鞋子
I'll buy some shiny red shoes for the occasion.
我不能携伴出席 大家都不能
I'm not allowed a plus-one. Nobody is.
那是场小型婚礼
It's a tiny wedding.
教堂像顶针一样小 神父就是只小蚂蚁
The church is a thimble. The priest is an ant.
万一你在婚礼上哭了 却没人给你拥抱呢
What if you cry at the wedding and nobody hugs you?
你开什么玩笑 我从不在婚礼上哭
Are you kidding? I never cry at weddings.
我觉得婚礼本身就很怪
I think the whole thing's bizarre.
非常过时 我讨厌戒指
It's so archaic. I hate the rings!
你对戒指有意见吗
The rings piss you off?
以及夫妻合二为一的象征
And the symbolism of becoming one person
好像你本来只是半个人一样 实在...
like you were half a person to begin with, it's --
实在太荒谬了
It's just ridiculous.
如果你说的荒谬是指那种超绝体验
If by ridiculous, you mean the transcendent experience
就是把别人的需求置于自己之上
of putting somebody else's needs above your own,
因而摧毁你的自我
therefore destroying your own ego
跟你自身的世界...
and connecting to your sense of universal --
-你想进试衣间指奸我吗 -想
- Wanna finger me in the changing rooms? - Yes.
到底会有哪些人参加这场婚礼啊
So, who's even gonna be at this wedding, even?
就是些路人甲
Just some random people.
我什么时候能跟这些路人甲见面
When am I gonna meet these random people?
你非见他们不可吗
Do you have to meet them?
他们只是些以前跟我一同上学的烂人
I mean, they're just shit people I went to school with.
我爱烂人 我跟烂人最合拍了
I love shit people. Those are my people.
听着 我都还没机会
Look, I haven't even had a chance
告诉他们我有对象了
to tell them that I'm seeing anyone.
我真的从来不跟他们见面 好吗
I literally never see them. Okay?
我这周末会告诉他们的
I'll tell them this weekend.
操 我迟到太久了 好了 我得走了
Oh, fuck. I'm so late. Okay, I have to go.
我们周日见
I'll see you on Sunday.
我有机会独自思考也挺好的
It will be nice to be alone with my thoughts.
我不在时你能帮忙照看一下梅吗
Can you keep an eye on Mae while I'm gone?
我担心她一个人会胡思乱想
I just...I'm worried about leaving her alone with her brain.
抱歉了 我今天开始新工作
Sorry, dude. I'm starting my new job today.
好吧
Okay.
-谢谢 -你穿着什么衣服
- Thank you. - What are you wearing?
我出门时你看见我穿的是什么了
Uh, well, you saw what I was wearing when I left.
不过好吧 我穿着...
But, Okay, I'm wearing a...
那件迷人的羽绒外套
that enchanting puffer jacket
肘部衬有美丽的菜肉馅饼碎渣
with a wonderful bit of Cornish pasty on the elbow.
你羽绒服底下穿着什么
What are you wearing under that?
你在手♥淫♥吗
Are you wanking right now?
-你没在手♥淫♥吗 -我...
- Are you not wanking right now? - Well, I --
乔吉
George!
是你男朋友吗 让我打声招呼
Is that your boyfriend? Let me say hi.
是你的朋友们吗 替我打声招呼
Is that your friends? Tell 'em I say hi.
不是的 我不想买♥♥支付保护保险 谢谢
No, it's not. I don't want PPI insurance, thank you.
我八百年没见过你了
I haven't seen you in ages!
劳森 你是躲到哪块大石头底下去了
Lawson, what rock have you been hiding under?
那石头有根巨♥屌♥♥吗
Does the rock have a massive dick?
我都不知道你要来
I didn't know you were coming,
不然我就带上「贱男驱除剂」了
I would've brought my prick repellent.
怼得漂亮 你宝刀未老啊
Classic. You still got it.
不 我是宾琪的男伴 很明显
No, I'm Binky's plus-one, obviously.
-老天 -我为什么瞎了眼迷恋你啊
- Oh, my God. - Why am I so obsessed with you?
你的男伴呢
Where's your plus-one?
我以为你会带...
I thought you'd be bringing...
他叫什么来着 乔纳森·克伦肖
What's his name? Jonathan Crenshaw.
不 他要忙工作
Oh, no. He was busy working.
他是做什么工作的来着
What's he do again?
天呐 那是我们以前的同学丽萨
Oh, my God, it's Lisa from school!
那是她男友吗 我以前一直以为她是死拉拉
That's her boyfriend? I always thought she was a massive dyke.
宾琪 你不能说这个词
Binky, you can't say that.
-什么 怎么了嘛 -那个...
- What? What? - Well...
以前上游泳课时她常盯着我奶♥子♥看啊
She used to stare at my tits in swimming.
你妈妈来了
There's your mum!
如果她提起离婚 就说点别的事
Okay, if she mentions the divorce, just distract her.
说有明星死了什么的
Just say a celebrity died or something.
你好啊 亲爱的
Hi, darling.
你好吗
How are you?
你♥爸♥联♥系♥你了吗
Have you... have you heard from your father?
没有 抱歉 妈妈
No. No, I haven't. Sorry, Mum.
你打扮得真美
You look lovely.
如果他联♥系♥你了
Well, if you do hear from him,
你就这么告诉他 说妈妈美极了
you can tell him that. Mum looked lovely.
-好 -不 还是别提我了
- Yeah. - No. Don't mention me actually.
如果提到了 别说是我让你提起的
Or if you do, don't say that I said to mention me,
你懂的 如果刚好说到了
just you know, if it comes up.
嗯 好 没问题
Yeah, Okay. Yeah. Sure.
迪娜怎么样了
How's Dina coping?
她伤心极了
Oh, she's not.
她在吃甜点的时候哭了三回 真可笑
She's cried three times over the vol-au-vents. It's ridiculous.
他们怎么不直接在登记处办
Why didn't they just do it in a registry office?
进去出来 然后就能去喝个烂醉
In and out, then you get drunk.
第一次婚礼大家总要搞得盛大些 不是吗
Well, people always go big the first time, don't they?
是啊
Yeah.
抱歉 我得去换衣服然后...接一下
Oh, sorry. I'm gonna have to get changed and... yeah.
谢谢 亲爱的
Thank you, darling.
你看着美极了
Oh, don't you look lovely!
我猜乔吉跟你说了我和她父亲的事吧
I suppose George told you about me and her father?
我听说有个明星死了
I heard a celebrity died.
不会吧 谁
No. Who?
蒂姆·艾伦
Tim Allen.
不会吧
No!
我不敢相信你说我是推销支付保护保险的人
I can't believe you said I was PPI.
梅 你给我发了28条短♥信♥
Mae, I've had 28 texts from you.
这不健康 28条啊
It's not healthy. Twenty-eight!
我现在没空聊电♥话♥ 好吗
I can't actually be on the phone right now, Okay?
你这样失控 真的很可怕
It's really scary when you lose control like this.
是啊 我确实感觉好奇怪
Yeah, I do feel fucking weird, actually.
我们这样吧
Okay, let's just do this.
我回来前别再给我发信息
Just no more texts until I get back.
-就30个小时而已 -什么
- It's just only 30 hours. - What?
如果有紧急情况怎么办
I mean, what if there's an emergency?
拜托 我们都成熟点好不好
Please, let's just be mature about this, Okay?
我不知道 去参加个互助会或找你的担♥保♥人
Just, I don't know, go to a meeting or see your sponsor, Okay?
反正别发信息给我就是了
Just don't text me, please.
-嗨 抱歉 -来吧
- Hi. Sorry. - Come on.
社区中心
你还不能发信息给她了 真荒唐
You're not supposed to text her? That's ridiculous.
真是让我生气 这事不对啊