心向快乐

Is that true what you said onstage?
你没法高♥潮♥
You can't come?
是啊
Yeah.
我觉得我有问题 我该去看医生 但...
I think I have some problem. I should go to the doctor, but...
-你为什么觉得是自己的问题 -什么意思
- What makes you think it's your problem? - What do you mean?
如果你是我女朋友 我一分钟就能让你高♥潮♥
If you were my girlfriend, I'd make you come in under a minute.
乔吉 我们得谈一谈... 天啊
George, I think we need to talk about-- Oh, my God!
这是什么情况
What is happening?
我也想谈 梅 但是你被逮捕了
I'd love to talk, Mae, but I'm afraid you're under arrest.
-不是吧 真的吗 -真的
- No. Really? - Actually. Oh, yeah.
-罪名是 -战争罪
- What for? - For war crimes.
不 是因为你太性感火♥辣♥了
No. For being actually too fit.
过于性感 上街易引发♥骚♥乱
Too fit for the streets.
-好 -你是个危险人物
- Cool. - You're a danger.
我能找下我的律师吗
Can I speak to my lawyer?
不 不行
No, you can't, actually.
不 因为他今天放假
No, because he's actually got a day off,
谢谢你 因为私人原因
thank you, for personal reasons.
什么私人原因
Oh, what personal reasons?
因为他的孩子患了渐冻症
'Cause his kid's got ALS.
-不 -不
- No! - No.
乔吉 我们得谈一谈
George, we need to talk, I think.
不 抱歉 我不叫乔吉 梅
No, sorry, my name isn't George, Mae.
-你叫什么 -我是帕克斯警探
- What is your name? - My name is Detective Parks.
-罗莎·帕克斯警探 -不是吧
- Detective Rosa Parks. - No.
天啊 梅 这身制♥服♥花了我三百镑
Oh, my God, Mae. I spent ￡300 on this uniform.
你看
And look.
我觉得...
I mean...
-这太大了 -但是...
- It's too big. - But...
我真的需要你...
Look, I just think I really need you to, like,
好好做我女朋友
just be my girlfriend.
我就是你女朋友啊
I am your girlfriend.
是啊 我们单独在家的时候 你是
Yeah, you are when we're alone in this apartment,
但我不想只存在于这间公♥寓♥
but I don't want to just exist in this apartment
我感觉你想把我像长发公主一样关在这里
and it feels like you want to keep me here, like Rapunzel.
-太好了 -一点都不好 我不想当长发公主
- Fit. - Not fit. I don't want to be Rapunzel.
我想认识你的朋友们
I want to meet your friends.
我现在就需要认识你的朋友们
I think I need to meet your friends, like now.
我知道 我...
I know, I just...
好吓人啊 我很害怕
It's just scary. I'm scared.
我知道 但这应该就是我没法高♥潮♥的原因
I know, but I think it's why I can't come.
因为我没有安全感 再加上这个
'Cause I don't feel safe, and now this.
-说实话 这可没什么用 -我知道 很野蛮
- This is not helping, to be honest. - I know, it's barbaric.
好吧 宾琪今晚要办派对 我本来不打算去
Okay, Binky's having a party tonight and I wasn't gonna go,
但也许我们应该去
but, like, maybe we should just go.
-太好了 -当真吗
- Yes! - Yeah?
-真的吗 -是的
- Really? - Yeah.
-天啊 谢谢 -那好
- Oh, man! Thank you. - Yeah. Okay.
-去吗 太棒了 -好 太棒了
- Yeah? Oh, great! - Yeah. Great.
好了
Okay.
太好了 太好了
Great. Great.
好吧 操
Yeah. Fuck.
乔吉 你怎么这么紧张
George, why are you so nervous?
他们看到你恋爱 会为你高兴的
They're gonna be so happy for you when they see you're in love.
你不了解那帮人 梅 他们觉得情绪很恶心
You don't know these people, Mae. They find emotions disgusting.
他们只想享受派对 开开玩笑
They just want to have a good time and make jokes.
这么说他们是英国人
Oh, so they're British?
那你为什么还要和这帮人相处呢
Like, why do you even bother with these people?
所以我现在才不怎么见他们了
This is exactly why I barely ever see them anymore,
但他们像我最熟悉的老友一样
but they're like my oldest friends.
宾琪就像是我的家人
I mean, Binky's basically family.
你笑什么
Why are you laughing?
因为我不敢相信你认识一个叫宾琪的人
Because I can't believe you know somebody called Binky.
等等 我得告诉你件事 你别生气
Wait. I need to tell you something and just don't be angry.
好
Okay.
他们以为我有个叫乔纳森·克伦肖的男友
They think I have a boyfriend called Jonathan Crenshaw.
你不是几周前就告诉他们我的存在了吗
I thought you told them about me weeks ago.
不是我的错
Okay, it's not my fault.
我告诉他们我在跟人交往 他们就想当然了
I told them I was seeing someone and they just assumed.
他们就想当然以为他叫乔纳森·克伦肖吗
They just assumed his name is Jonathan Crenshaw?
我们来做个交易
Look, let's make a deal, okay?
要是你保证今晚乖乖的
If you promise to just keep it together tonight,
那我就告诉别人我们在上♥床♥
then I will tell someone that we're fucking.
真是个好交易呢
Cool deal.
-乔吉 -嗨 好久不见
- George! - Oh, hi. It's been ages.
乔纳森·克伦肖在哪 这位是谁
Where's Jonathan Crenshaw? Who's this?
他来不了了 他被蚂蚁蛰了 红蚂蚁
He couldn't make it. He got stung by ants, by red ants.
但这位是我朋友梅
But this is my friend Mae.
我们曾一起看过她的喜剧表演
We saw her do comedy once?
天啊 你好 梅 我是宾琪
Oh, my God. Hi, Mae. I'm Binky, or Binks, whichever.
你的头发好好玩
Your hair is so funny.
谢谢 你的头发也很好笑
Oh, thank you. Your hair is also hilarious.
天啊 我表妹辛西娅来了 她是拉拉
Oh, my God. My cousin Cynthia's here. She's a lesbian.
你会喜欢她的
You'd love her.
-你有交往对象吗 -我在跟一个人交往
- Are you dating anyone? - I am seeing someone,
但她是个混♥蛋♥ 所以我觉得我们长不了
but she's kind of an asshole, so I don't think it's gonna last.
好可爱 她叫什么
Oh, so cute. What is she called?
豪吉[肥猪] 豪吉·邓禄普
Hoggy. Hoggy Dunlop.
-什么 -没错
- What? - Yes.
她就叫豪吉[肥猪]·邓禄普这个怪名字
Hoggy Dunlop weirdly is her name.
说起来有趣 我就是通过乔纳森·克伦肖认识她的
It's funny, actually I met her through Jonathan Crenshaw.
那也太令人难以置信了 他们怎么认识的
Well, that's mad. How do they know each other?
-他们... -他们是母子
- They- - They're mother and son.
什么
What?
没错
Yes.
我在跟乔治男朋友的妈交往
I'm dating George's boyfriend's mother.
他其实也不算我的男朋友
Well, he's not really my boyfriend.
就是啊 他都没来 乔吉
Well, exactly, he's not even here, George.
我们去找杰拉德聊几句吧
Now come talk to Jared.
辛西娅 快来跟梅说说话
Oh, Cynthia, come talk to Mae.
你们可以聊聊 亮色运动衫
Um, you two can talk about... blazers.
-我觉得梅喜欢我 -当真吗
- I think Mae fancies me. - Really?
-好吧 再见 -回头见
- Okay, bye. - See ya.
你怎么样 我是梅
Hey, how's it going? I'm Mae.
你好 我是休 我倒是想跟你握手
Hey, I'm Hugh. I would shake your hand,
但我忙着给我老爸做个鸡♥巴♥三明治
but I'm chock- a- block making me old man a dick sandwich,
并且我刚从鸡♥巴♥里被喷出来
and I'm fresh out of dick.
好吧 我来自加拿大 所以我不懂这笑话
Okay. I'm from Canada, so I don't understand.
甘道夫
Gandalf.
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
我刚正跟休说呢
I was just saying to Hugh,
我可不想把玉米片留在厨房♥给那些贱民吃
I'd rather not leave my Doritos in the kitchen with all the riffraff.
梅:我们能走了吗
你为什么无视我
这派对烂透了
梅:这一点都不好玩
我们能走了吗
你为什么无视我
这派对烂透了
我宁愿带在身上
You know, I'd rather keep them with me here,
藏在我的裤子里比较安全
safe in my chino trousers.
-宾琪 -在
- Binks. - Yeah.
我觉得我打算跟克伦肖结束了
Okay, I think I'm gonna end things with Crenshaw.
不要啊 宝贝 为什么
Oh, no, babe. Why?
我觉得我该跟他分手了 这没什么大不了的
I think I'm gonna break up with him and it's not like a big deal,
但我应该告诉你...
but I should tell you- -
我之前就一直很想告诉你
I've really wanted to tell you.
天呐 你那个朋友怎么一直盯着你
Oh, my God. Why is your friend staring at you?
她好像迷恋你一样
She's like obsessed with you.
宾琪 小心被大屌♥操屁♥股♥ 杰拉德
Binks! Watch me bum, Jared.
-你告诉他们了吗 -我在按我的方式去说
- Did you tell them yet? - Yes, I'm doing it my way,
但你的眼睛就跟激光一样
but your eyes are like lasers.
我的脖子后面都好像有灼烧感
Like, the back of my neck is actually hot,
好像你在用激光烧我
like you're burning me with lasers.