心向快乐

心向快乐
第一季 第五集
我真不敢相信 你竟然不知道阿尼·里弗斯
I can't believe you don't know who Arnie Rivers is.
他是个标杆式人物 你看两眼他的表演就知道了
He's an icon. You'll get it in like two seconds.
我女友和她的朋友在一起的时候 奇怪的是
When my girlfriend's with her friends, weirdly,
她会讲另一种语言
she speaks in another language.
就是喝醉的野猫的语言
It's the language of drunk feral cats.
-我感同身受 -我感同身受
- I went there! - I went there!
那是他的口头禅 你有口头禅吗
That's his catchphrase. Do you have a catchphrase?
有
Erm, yeah.
是"兄弟 有人提到加拿大了吗"
It's, eh, "Oh, brother, did somebody say Canada?"
-当真吗 -不是
- Really? - No!
你看 他还拍动作片
OK, look, and then he did action movies.
他演得可好了 他好高
Oh, and he is such a good actor. He's so tall.
你看 他想上这个女孩
Look, he's just going to bang this girl.
这家工厂是我爸的 你是我的
My father owned this factory. Now I am owning you.
所以你特别喜欢他
So you were like, pretty into him?
是啊 他排在利奥之前 瑞恩·高斯林之后
Oh, yeah, before Leo and after Ryan Gosling.
我现在自♥慰♥的时候还会想着他
When I wank I still think about him.
行 行 没问题 没问题
Oh, cool. Oh, no, that's cool. Yeah, cool.
-行吧 -你是吃醋了吗
- Cool! - Are you jealous?
我就是不明白 如果他那么有名
I just don't get why, if he's so famous,
他为何还要来「笑料箱酒吧」帮尼克做周末场的表演
he's coming to do a weekend of shows for Nick at the Gag Bin.
因为他经历了这些
Because this happened.
他彻头彻尾崩溃过 毒品 妓院
He had like a full-on break down. Drugs, brothels...
他都10年没上过台了
He hasn't worked in like 10 years.
那我跟他见面的时候 你想让我跟他说什么
All right, well, what you want me to tell him when I meet him?
你能不能告诉他 我的整个青春期
OK, can you tell him that I wanted to marry him
外加二十岁出头的时候
all the way through my adolescence
都想嫁给他 怎么了
and most of my early '20s. What?
我...
I just...
你不是不相信婚姻吗
I thought you didn't believe in marriage?
没错 现在显然是不信了
Yes, obviously not now.
但是每个人小时候都会相信
But like, everyone does when they're a kid.
-好吧 有件事我得告诉你 -好
- Yeah. Eh, I need to tell you something. - OK.
-你能不能专心一点 -好
- Can you pay attention? - Yes.
这家工厂是我爸的 你是我的
My father owned this factory and now I'm owning you!
-你喜欢吗 -我太爱了
- Do you like that? - I love that.
我爸爸是个严苛的人
My father was a hard man.
好了 大家请就坐
OK guys, if everyone would like to take their seats.
欢迎来到我们的首次亲友见面会
Welcome to our first friends and family meeting.
好了 我们从这里开始 请问你是...
Right, let's start over here. And you are?
-我是乔吉 我和梅一起的 -欢迎你 乔吉
- I'm George and I'm with Mae. - Welcome George.
我们听了好多关于你的事 这位是...
We've heard a lot about you. And over here we have?
这是我女儿 拉瓦
This is my daughter, Lava.
这是我的会计 克里斯
This is my accountant, Chris.
抱歉 我不太清楚我为什么要来
Sorry, I don't really know why I'm actually here.
克里斯了解我的一切
Chris knows everything about me.
我去哪里吃饭 我的贷款
Where I go to eat. My mortgage.
-我的国民保险号♥码 -太好了
- My National Insurance number. - Erm, lovely.
我们这个小组主要针对吸毒
So, this group focuses on drug use.
但在我们讨论的过程中
But through our discussions
梅拓宽了我们对成瘾的定义
Mae particularly has broadened our definition of addiction
现在它包括上瘾者渴望的 能获得快♥感♥的各种事
to include any behaviour which an addict craves, finds relief in,
尽管这些事对他们的日常生活有负面后果
but cannot give up despite the negative consequences
但他们却难以舍弃
it's causing in their day-to-day life.
我要怎么才能帮到我妻子
How can I help my wife?
-抱歉 -没关系的 乔瑟夫
- Sorry. - That's OK, Joseph.
布伦达 你丈夫是怎么帮你的
Brenda, how does your husband help you?
我想 大概就是他一直都守在我身边 一直
It's just, I suppose, that he's there. Always.
不管我对他有多差 他绝对是我的天使
It doesn't matter how badly I treat him, he's my absolute angel.
-真有爱 -抱歉 这可不叫有爱
- That's lovely. - Sorry, hello? It's not lovely.
他在纵容她 他是纵容者
He's enabling her. He's an enabler.
抱歉 拉瓦有点...
Sorry. Lava's had a...
有过不快的经历
..rough go of it.
比如
Well, OK, for instance,
我有次去学校接她 接错了孩子
at her school I once picked up the wrong child.
我接了另一个孩子回家
I took another child home.
我真的以为那是拉瓦
I genuinely thought it was Lava.
我带他回了家 给他炸了薯条
I took him home and I cooked him chips.
我吸毒吸坏了脑子
I was fucked.
那是个韩国小男孩
He was a little Korean boy.
拉瓦16岁时就跟我断绝关系了
Lava cut me off when she was 16
但我在慢慢赢回她的信任 是吧 宝贝
but I'm gradually earning back her trust, aren't I, darling?
是的
Yeah.
我决意长久地坚持下去
I'm in it for the long haul now.
乔吉
George?
-什么 -你也决意长久地坚持下去吗
- Sorry? - Are you in it for the long haul?
没错 乔吉 你是怎么支持你家瘾君子的
Yes, George. How do you support your addict?
"你是否决意长久地坚持下去"
"Are you in it for the long haul?"
谁会这样问一个陌生人
Who asks a stranger that?
她就不能别那么馋你的身子吗
Can she just get off your dick for one second?
"你是怎么支持你家瘾君子的"
"And how do you support your addict?"
我应该怎么回答 这问题好奇怪
I mean, what was I meant to say? What a weird question.
我不知道 或许你不该说
I don't know, maybe you shouldn't have said,
"我买♥♥了穿戴式假鸡♥巴♥
"I bought a strap-on
大部分打车钱都是我付"
and I pay for most of our Ubers."
我到底是有什么毛病
I mean, what is wrong with me?!
非常感谢你今天能来
Thank you very, very much for coming.
没事 我应该做的
Yeah, well, it's my job.
爱你
Love you.
长久坚持 那是什么 那话是什么意思
I mean, long haul. What does that..? What does that even mean?
一天一天过日子就得了
You just...you just...you just take it day by day.
没人知道未来会怎么样 我们还年轻
Nobody knows the future. We're young!
我们真有那么年轻吗
I mean, are we that young?
我们比大多数服务生都老了
Like, we're older than most waiters.
你刚才说我们比大多数服务生都老吗
Did you just say we're older than most waiters?
-真好笑 -谢谢
- That's very funny. - Thanks.
-看吧 你应该当个喜剧演员 -好的
- You see, you should be a comedian. - OK.
-真的吗 -嗯
- Really? - Yeah.
对了 我得打给宾琪
Oh, no, I have to call Binky.
她正为迎婴派对的事抓狂呢
She's freaking out about her baby shower.
宾琪的迎婴派对
Binky's baby shower,
真不敢相信我会说出这些词
I can't believe I'm actually saying those words.
太操蛋了
That's so fucked.
好了 我要走了
All right, well, I'm going to go.
我要去看你老公 阿尼·里弗斯
I'm going to go see your husband, Arnie Rivers.
天啊
Oh, my...
别动
Be still!
好了 再见
OK, goodbye!
-看见这个了吗 -他有一整个巡演要宣传呢
- Have you seen this? - He's got a tour to promote.
天啊 那才是他来这里的目的
Oh, my God. That's why he's here.
喜剧之王
他想找人做开场嘉宾
He's looking for an opener.
梅 我发誓 你要是在我前面上台
Mae, I swear to God, if you go on before me
用你关于"焦虑"的烂段子 把场子搞冷了
and bum everyone out talking about your "anxiety,"
我发誓我饶不了你
I swear to God...
-聊得真开心 皮特 演出顺利 -我会的
- Good chat, Pete, have a good show - I will!
-好啊 -那好
- All right. - Good.
就在这 各位
It's right here. Guys!
这位是阿尼
This is Arnie.
阿尼 这是皮特 杰克 梅
Arnie, that's Pete, Jack, Mae.
兄弟会小子
Oh, a frat boy!
又一个兄弟会小子
Oh, another frat boy.
还有个雌雄同体的木偶
And some sort of androgynous Muppet?
你今晚绝对把所有包袱抖到位了 尼克
Wow, you've really pulled out all the stops tonight, Nick!
笑料箱
Gag bin!
阿尼 我是你的忠实粉丝
Arnie! I'm a big... I'm a big fan, man.
希望有机会让你看我的表演 关于射♥精♥的段子
Hopefully get a chance to see my set, bit of jizz-based material.
好 作为正在恢复的性瘾者
Yes, as a recovering sex addict
我肯定会爱你所有关于射♥精♥的段子
I'm sure I will love all of your jokes about jizz.
我猜你肯定讲大♥麻♥合法化的段子