心向快乐

are you a lesbian, Mae?
我不会给自己贴标签 你刚也听到了
I mean, I don't really label myself, as you heard.
我是个非常复杂的人
I'm very complex.
我跟杰克玩过三人行
Like, I had a threesome with Jack
我无家可归在外流浪的时候
and then when I was homeless,
有过一个叫弗拉德的男友
I had a boyfriend called Vlad.
-不是吧 -真的
- No! - Yeah.
吸血鬼同名的弗拉德吗
Vlad the Impaler?
是啊 没错
Yeah, yeah.
你摸过弗拉德的鸡♥巴♥吗
You touched Vlad's penis?
是的 我摸过
Yes, I did, yeah.
我先走了
I'm gonna go.
你想摸摸我的鸡♥巴♥吗
Do, do you wanna touch mine?
拜托 别一副这么震惊的样子
Come on, don't look so shocked.
我们会一起巡演
We're gonna be touring together
巡演会让我们变得非常亲密 所以...
and it gets very intimate, touring, so...
这二者是相关的吗
Are those things connected,
我是指 巡演和亲密接触你的鸡♥巴♥
the touring and becoming intimate with your dick?
当然 二者是携手并进的
Yeah, they go hand-in-hand.
我的意思是 "鸡♥巴♥在手"
By that, I mean dick in hand.
拜托 你的幽默感哪儿去了
Come on, where's your sense of humour?
-我不知道 -拜托 别扫兴啊
- I don't know. - Come on, come on,
我跟你保证 肯定比弗拉德的大
I promise you, it's bigger than Vlad's penis.
梅 恭喜啊 你表现得太棒了
Mae, congrats, you smashed it!
那家伙很恶劣 是个坏人
That guy is bad. That's a bad man.
他干什么了
What did he do?
我们刚刚在洗手间 然后他就...
We were in the toilet stall and he was, like...
皮特 皮特 过来 你意下如何
Pete, Pete, mate, come here. Er, what do you reckon?
想给我的巡演当开场嘉宾吗
Wanna open on tour for me?
什么 操 当然啦 太棒了
Oh, what? Fuck, yeah! Hoo-hoo!
那杰克怎么办
What, what about Jack?
-不 不要 -没事的 别担心 别担心
- No, no. - It's OK, no, don't worry about it, don't worry about it.
阿尼 你得离开了 马上
Arnie, you need to leave, now.
滚出我的酒吧
Get out my club.
拜托 老兄
Oh, come on, mate.
别荒唐了
Don't be fucking ridiculous.
你是没见过我荒唐起来的样子
Oh, you've never seen me ridiculous.
我马上就要变得非常荒唐了
And I'm about to get very fucking ridiculous.
好吧 随便吧
All right, yeah, whatever.
真♥他♥妈♥是长大了
Fucking grow up.
滚出去
Get out.
反正也是个破屎坑
Shithole anyway!
阿尼 等等
Arnie, wait up!
-白♥痴♥ -谢谢 其实你不必为我这样的
- Idiot! - Thank you. You didn't have to do that.
听着 梅 他就是个小丑
Look, Mae, he's a fucking clown, man!
-抱歉 我应该告诉你乔吉之前来过 -什么
- Sorry, um, I should tell you that George was here. - What?
-她没看到我的表演吧 -不 她看到了
- Well, she didn't see my set, did she? - Yeah, she did.
操
Oh, fuck.
那些只是段子 就笑话而已
Those were just jokes. That was just jokes.
梅 我需要问你一个问题
Mae, I need to ask you a question.
这些是什么 你是从哪儿搞到的
What are these and where did you get them?
我在医院的时候发现的 然后我就
I found them at the hospital and then I've, like,
我在焦虑的时候就会服用几片
taken a few of them to sleep when I've been anxious.
好吧 我需要问你点别的事
OK, um, I need to ask you something else.
我让你幸福快乐吗
Do I make you happy?
我爱着你
Well, I'm in love with you.
我问的不是这个问题
That's not what I asked you.
我让你幸福快乐吗
Do I make you happy?
在我身边 让你开心快乐吗
Does being around me make you feel good about yourself?
算不上吧
Like, not really.
但是谁在乎啊
But who cares?
恋爱的重点不是那个 那并不是...
That's not what being in love is. That's not...
不是那个是什么 难道是
Well, what, what is it then? Is it, um,
你抓心挠肝地想要 但却无法放弃
something that you crave but you can't give up,
哪怕它有负面后果吗
despite it having negative consequences?
-别这么做 这不公平 -梅
- Don't do that, that's not fair. - Mae...
你说的那些话是真的吗
Is it true, what you said?
说你不再穿彩色的衣服了
That you, that you don't wear colours any more?
那 那简直是
I mean, that's, that's, like,
我这辈子听过的最可悲的话了
the saddest thing I've ever heard in my, in my fucking life.
我该怎么做
What am I meant to do?
你 你的戒毒 你的性别认同
Your, your sobriety, your gender identity,
有什么不是我的责任吗
is there, is there anything that isn't my responsibility?
全球变暖 也是我的错吗
Global warming, is that my fault?
-我不知道 你在跟冰盖交往吗 -梅
- I don't know, are you dating the ice caps? - Mae.
好吧 是不是无论我多么优秀
OK, um, is it true that no matter how good I am,
都永远不够
it won't be enough?
不够什么 我...我们同居了啊
Enough for what? I... We live together.
我都告诉我的朋友们了 我改变了我的生活
I've told my friends, I, I've changed my life!
够长久坚持下去
Enough for the long haul.
就是 无论我们现在有多幸福 都是有时限的
Like, no matter how good this is, there's a time limit on it.
梅 我根本都没去这么想过 好吗
Mae, I haven't even had, like, a minute to think about that, OK?
我 没错 我成长过程中一直都想要这些东西
I, yeah, I grew up wanting all of these things,
比如孩子 梅
like kids, Mae,
-孩子 婚姻 以及... -我也想要这些东西
- kids and, and marriage and... - I want those things too.
我知道 我知道你想要 你也值得拥有这些
I know, I know you do, and, and you deserve it all.
你值得幸福快乐 自信
You deserve to be so happy and, and, like, confident.
没事的 我没事 我们谈点别的吧
It's fine, I'm fine. Let's just talk about something else.
才不是没事 你在服用安♥眠♥药♥
It's not fine. You're taking sleeping pills
因为你很焦虑 你不是杰森·斯坦森
because you're so anxious that you're not Jason Statham.
接下来要怎样
I mean, like, what's, what's next?
你会开始狂嗑药
Do you just start shooting up
因为我没有在网上上传足够多的照片吗
because I'm not posting enough pictures on Instagram?
你为什么没在网上上传过我们的照片
Why haven't you posted any pictures of us on Instagram?
你甚至都没转发过我发的推文
You've never even retweeted one of my tweets.
我做不到 我坚持不下去了
I can't... I can't do this.
天
Oh, man.
你 你是要跟我分手吗
Are you... Are you breaking up with me?
我不...我不知道 是的
I don't... I don't know. Yeah.
是的 我觉得没错
Yeah, I think so.
真的很抱歉 我不知道还能怎么办
I'm really, I'm so sorry, I don't know what else to do.
-天呐 -对不起 梅
- Oh, man. - I'm sorry, Mae.
是你先说爱我的啊 是你先说的
But you told me you loved me first. You said it first.
那是我这辈子最美妙的时刻
That was the best moment of my life.
你叫我搬来跟你同居
You told me to move in with you.
-我知道 我知道 -天呐
- I know. I know. - Oh, my God.
我真的太尴尬了
I'm so embarrassed.
尴尬 为什么
Embarrassed? Why?
梅 该尴尬的是我才对啊
Mae, I should be embarrassed.
我尴尬的是 我竟然让自己相信 像你这样的人
I'm embarrassed I let myself think that someone like you
竟然会愿意跟我这样的人在一起
could be with someone like me.
我不是个男孩 我甚至都不是女孩
I'm not a boy. I'm not even a girl.
我无论做男孩女孩都是失败品
I'm like a failed version of both.
就像是个怪胎
Like some freak.
梅 我让你有这种感觉
Mae, I make you feel like that
但这不是真的 不是真的
but it's not true. It's not true.
你比我要好一千倍
You're just, you're 1,000 times better than me.
或许你会用我的名字给你的一个孩子取名
Maybe you'll name one of your kids after me.
抱歉 梅 我没办法给你聊这个
OK, I'm sorry, Mae, I can't do this.
你希望我走人吗
Do you want me to go?
我不知道 不 我走吧
I don't know. No, I'll go.
-天呐 我觉得我要吐了 -行吧 我走
- Oh, my God, I think I'm going to be sick. - Yeah, I'll go.
你要去哪儿 你要去尼克家住吗
Well, OK, well, where will you go? Will you go to Nick's?
我也不知道
I don't know.
梅 你不会有事的吧
Mae, will you be OK?
梅 拜托 你能过来一下吗
Mae, please, can you just come here?
你能过来下吗
Can you come here?
梅 拜托 拜托 梅
Mae, please, please! Mae.
不要啊
Oh, no!
天呐
God.
不要啊