心向快乐

拉瓦哭着给我打电♥话♥
Lava rang me in floods of tears.
拉瓦会哭
Lava can cry?
她也许有点迟钝 古怪 甚至奇葩
Well, she may be blunt, odd, even... well, really strange,
但那姑娘是个天使
but that girl is an absolute angel,
她这辈子都在被她喜欢的
and she's spent her whole life being abandoned
瘾君子抛弃
by addicts who she cared for,
我就不该让你接近她
and I shouldn't have let you near her,
因为你利用了她 梅
because you used her, Mae.
或许你也利用了我
Oh, maybe you used me.
因为你只是用我打发时间 直到她回到你身边
'Cause you were filling your time until you got her back.
她说再也不想见到我们两个
She says she doesn't want to see either of us again,
我又要从头开始
and I'm going to have to rebuild
和她建立母女关系了
my entire relationship with her from scratch again!
好吧
Okay, well...
那我要住哪里
where am I going to stay?
我不知道
I don't know.
抱歉这么说 但我一点不在乎
And I'm sorry to say, but I don't fucking care!
另外还有件事
And another thing.
我不再是你的担♥保♥人了
I am not your sponsor anymore.
我只是个你曾经认识的愤怒的老妇人
I'm just a really angry older woman who you used to know!
给我滚开 这破屎坑
Fucking out of my way. Fucking shithole!
你好啊
Hey.
天呐 好啊
Oh my God, hi.
-我得走了 我感觉糟透了 -听我说
- Look, I have to go. I feel fucking awful. - Hear me now.
你是詹姆斯·邦德 玛姬是摄魂怪
You're James Bond, and Maggie is a Dementor,
她的任务就是吸走你的快乐
who's determined to suck your joy away.
凯文
Kev.
今晚非常愉快
One huge night.
慢着 猛虎 现在不行
Whoa tiger, not now.
我就是只猛虎
I am a tiger.
你的卡还要吗
You want your card back?
我们确定吗
Are we sure about this?
凯文 我们是匿名戒毒会里最优秀的成员
Kevin, we're the best members of the NA group.
瞧好了
Watch this.
你感觉如何
How do you feel?
什么也别说 拜托
Don't say anything, please.
凯文
Kevin.
这才是真正的我们 对吧
This is us, right?
有人看见我的背包了吗
Has anyone seen my rucksack?
梅
Mae.
-他人真好 -闭嘴
- He's so nice. - Shut up.
抱歉 兄弟 抱歉
Sorry, mate. Sorry.
-抱歉了 -梅 梅 回来
- Sorry, man. - Mae, Mae. Come back.
梅 梅
Mae, Mae.
我喜欢 老子感觉精神抖擞
I like it. Papa feels feisty.
知道吗 我以前订过婚 梅
You know, I was engaged once, Mae.
我觉得我以后不会表演单口喜剧了
I don't think I'll do comedy anymore.
我就想当个流浪诗人
I think I just wanna be a vagabond poet.
她就像个海妖 让我寻死觅活
She was a siren calling me to my death.
我在她身边时
When I was around her,
-手都不自觉颤抖 -爵士
- my hand would shake. - Jazz?
杰克·凯鲁亚克 里弗·菲尼克斯
Jack Kerouac, River Phoenix.
毒蛇休息室
The Viper Lounge.
你要怎么写出一肚子的沮丧
How do you spell swamp of despondency?
我已经好多年没想起她了
I haven't thought about her in years.
就算是现在 我提到了她
Right now, even though I'm talking about her,
其实我也没想她
I'm not actually thinking about her.
那你现在在想什么
What are you thinking about right now?
上好的意大利皮革
Fine Italian leather.
我们还有可♥卡♥因♥吗
Do we have any more coke?
没了
No.
吸光了 就这些
We're out. That's it.
好吧 没事
Yeah... fine. Okay.
那你想做♥爱♥吗
Okay, do you wanna have sex?
好啊
Okay.
好啊
Okay.
好吧 不 你...
Okay. No, you...
好吧 行 来吧
Right, yeah sure, okay.
不 那歌♥不行 关掉
No, not that. Turn it off.
-为什么 -关掉 梅 关掉
- Why? - Turn it off, Mae. Turn it off.
搞什么 老兄
What the fuck, man?
难道你以前对你未婚妻唱过这首歌♥吗
You used to sing that song to your fiancée or something?
闭嘴
Shut up.
-我觉得我们该多叫点可♥卡♥因♥ -对 没错
- I think you should order more coke. - Yes, definitely.
我马上回来
I'm gonna be right back.
凯文 卖♥♥货的来了
Kevin, your guy's here.
布伦达
Brenda?
布伦达是你的可♥卡♥因♥毒贩
Brenda's your coke dealer?
让开 我找凯文
Out of my way, please. I need to see Kevin.
-布伦达是我的担♥保♥人 -你打给了你的担♥保♥人
- Brenda's my sponsor. - You called your sponsor?
凯文 我以为我们刚才玩得正嗨呢
Kevin, I thought we were having a good, fun time.
不 我们玩得一点也不嗨
No, we aren't having a good, fun time.
-我难受的要命 抱歉 -没事 凯文
- I'm in hell. I'm sorry. - It's all right, Kevin.
布伦达怎么会是你的担♥保♥人
How is Brenda your sponsor?
我从没见过你们在互助会上讲过话
I've never even seen you speak in the meetings.
因为我觉得丢人 布伦达一点不酷
'Cause I'm embarrassed. Brenda's lame.
抱歉 布伦达
I'm sorry, Brenda.
先告诉我 这屋里还有毒品吗
First of all, are there any drugs in this house?
-没了 -很好
- No. - Good.
其次 我希望你仔细听我说
Second of all, I want you to listen to me.
这不是你的错
It's not your fault.
拜托
Come on.
凯文 是有人爱你的
Kevin, you are loved.
我不知道 这不重要
I don't know. It doesn't matter.
是有人爱你的
You are loved.
跟我一起说
Say it with me.
是有人爱你的
You are loved.
我不想说
I don't want to.
我就是个人♥渣♥
I'm human garbage.
说出来 是有人爱你的
Say it. You are loved.
是有人爱我的
I am loved.
是有人爱我的
I'm loved.
社区中心
梅 嗨 你提早来了啊
Mae, hi. You're early.
不 不用了 再见
No, that's fine. Bye.
我打给玛姬了
I rang Maggie.
她说她以后要参加别的互助会
She says she'll be attending another group moving forward.
凯伦发短♥信♥说
Karen sent a message saying
她要回军队继续当中尉了
she's going back to her job as a lieutenant in the army.
我不确定布伦达和凯文在哪儿 所以...
I'm not sure where Brenda and Kevin are, so...
看来今天只有我们两个了
it looks like it's just us.
我还以为你不怎么喜欢我呢
I thought you didn't like me very much.
我是不喜欢你
I don't like you.
我真的真的很不喜欢你
I really, really don't like you.
我觉得你自以为是
I find you entitled,
我觉得你会危及其他人的戒毒成果
and I think you endanger the sobriety of others.
但我不必非得喜欢你才能帮你
But I don't have to like you to help you.
我也真的很不喜欢你
I don't really like you either.
好吧 继续吧
Okay, moving on.
看来今天也没必要读东西了
I don't suppose there's any point in doing the readings today.
梅
Mae?
抱歉 我刚刚没意识到今天是你的戒毒纪念日
Sorry, I didn't realize we'd had a sobriety birthday today.
恭喜 你之前好像说过你戒毒两年了
Congratulations, I think you said it'd been two years.
戒毒1天
我明白了
Ah, I see.
对不起 我也不知道为什么
I'm sorry. I don't know why.
当眼下的状况令人无法忍♥受的时候 梅
When the present moment is intolerable, Mae,
我们就会蜷缩起来 逃避现实
we contort ourselves into pretzels to get away from it.
但我希望你问自己的问题不是
But the question I would encourage you to ask is not,
"我为什么会吸毒"
"Why did I use?"
我们都清楚我们吸毒的原因 为了消除痛苦
We all know why we use. Pain relief.