珍的不一样（2023）

要是说有什么时尚潮流 那我非占一位不可
If there's an edge out there, I'm on it.
没比它前沿 可是正正好好哦
Not over it, but right up there.
你之前穿搭也不错呀
Well, you looked fine before.
大家就非得搞砸事情吗
Why can't people just stop messing with things?
听着 我明白你对未来感觉很没把握
Look, I know you're feeling uncertain about the future.
所以 我起草了一份很随意的清单
So, I have drawn up a super- casual list of stuff we should do
上面列了我们分手后应该和不该做的事情 你懂的
and shouldn't do post- breakup or, you know, whenever.
你说像合同一样 -可不是合同
A contract? - Not a contract.
只是个小小的情绪评估 一个正式的有法律效益的情绪评估
A vibe check. A formal, legally binding vibe check.
所以 我们都同意对吧 在28号♥那天
So, we're in agreement that the social media announcement
在社交媒体上用快拍宣布我们分手了
shall take place on the 28th in the form of a story.
不发什么表情 只发文字
No use of emojis. Just plain text,
提议 如果加一个心碎表情呢
Sidebar. What about one broken heart?
什么颜色的 -黑色
What colour? - Black.
这一招经典啊 可以
That is classy. I will allow it.
事情真的没那么糟糕
♪`Things just really aren't that bad ♪
我只是在房♥间里呆得太久
♪I just stay in my room too long ♪
但我终于有了女朋友 她真是太棒了
♪ But I finally got a girlfriend And she's the bomb ♪
你好 你好
♪ Hi, hello ♪
好了 我得跟你说件事
Right, there's something I have to tell you,
我就直说了
and I'm just going to come right out with it.
我已经憋了很久了
I've stalled long enough.
昨天 我在商店里的时候
So, yesterday, I'm in the shop...
就是有四堵墙的那种建筑 你懂的 还有个屋顶的
which is a building with four walls and, of course as we know, a roof.
呃 那天是阴天 大概12或13度吧
Eh, it- it was a grey day. Maybe 12, 13 degrees Celsius.
我走近一位顾客的时候
And as I approached a customer,
我一步一步迈着走 就像流行的那样
putting one foot in front of the other as is the fashion,
左脚 然后右脚 再左脚 然后呃
left, then right, then left and, uh,
你也能想到 接下来还是右脚
as you might imagine, followed by right again.
珍 我想好了
Jen, I know who I am.
我 我想成为你的男朋友
I'm, uh, your boyfriend.
我只想做你的男朋友
And that's all I want to be.
嘿 看 情侣都是这么吃的
Oh, hey, look. That's how couples eat.
我们也应该
We should
我们 吃吧
Let's- - Yeah.
噢 这条也太离谱了
Oh, now this is egregious.
双方不得在分手六周后与另一位或多位伴侣
Both parties may enter into a sexual act with another partner or partners
发生性行为
no sooner than six weeks post- separation.
性行为包括但不限口♥交♥ 阴蒂舔 插入
Sexual acts include but are not limited to fellatio, cunnilingus, penetration,
性行为包括但不限口♥交♥ 阴蒂舔 插入
Sexual acts include but are not limited to fellatio, cunnilingus, penetration,
口♥活♥ 拳♥交♥ 六九姿势 乳♥头♥刺♥激♥
handjobs, fisting, 69ing, nipple stimulation,
带有刺♥激♥意图的触摸
touching with the intent of stimulation
以及持续时间超过30秒的张嘴亲吻
and open- mouthed kissing lasting more than 30 seconds.
好吧我改
Okay, okay.
分手四周后允许进行性接触
Sexual interaction will be permitted four weeks post- separation.
分手四周后允许进行性接触
Sexual interaction will be permitted four weeks post- separation.
分手四周后允许进行性接触
Sexual interaction will be permitted four weeks post- separation.
这可表明了忠心 -手活总可以吧
Which is a good faith concession. - With the exception of hand stuff.
隔着裤子 -不行 不能隔着
Over the jeans. - No, it's got to be under.
不能全脱
Not to completion.
好吧也行
I can work wjth that.
好了 第二条款 搬家
’Kay. Clause two. Moving out.
我提议给予你宽裕点找房♥子的时间 八周
I've suggested a very generous eight- week search time,
毕竟在伦敦找房♥子可是很难的 而且
because flat hunting in London is horrendous and,
你可算不好价格什么的
you're very bad with numbers.
等下 你要我搬出去 为什么我是搬出去的那个
Wait, you want me to move out? Why am I the one moving out?
呃 我是说 呃
Well, I mean Well-
呃 我是说 呃
Well, I mean Well- -
就因为我是男方 是这样吗 -才不是
It's'cause I have the penis, isn't it? - No, no.
就因为我是男方 是这样吗 -才不是
It's'cause I have the penis, isn't it? - No, no.
我是说 有这个原因 但是
Well, I mean- - Yeah, but- -
可是你提的分手啊 我才是受害者
No, but you broke up with me. I'm the victim here.
这不只是搬出去的问题 而是该向前看了
It's not just moving out. It's moving on.
你抓着过去不放 -我才没有呢
You're clinging to the past. - No, I'm not.
真的吗 那你扔掉一件东西证明一下
Really? Then throw away just one thing.
扔掉内♥裤♥ -我不要
Just the pants. - No.
不要 你不许扔我的东西 我不签了
No, I forbid you to throw anything out. And I'm not signing.
老天 我饿死了
Jesus, I'm starving.
吃点剩菜呗
Have the leftovers.
这可是一条好吃的意大利面条
It's a lovely spaghetto.
等我一下
One sec.
你好
Hello.
嘿 来点这个 好
Hey. Ooh, some of these. Yes.
还有什么
What else have we got?
罗伯特·克劳顿
31岁 身高172cm 棕眼黑发
悬赏价值20镑的奥利弗·巴纳斯家礼品卡请致电
罗伯特·克劳顿
31岁 身高172cm 棕眼黑发
悬赏价值20镑的奥利弗·巴纳斯家礼品卡请致电
谢谢
Thank you.
走吧
Ready?
罗伯特·克劳顿
31岁 身高172cm 棕眼黑发
悬赏价值20镑的奥利弗·巴纳斯家礼品卡请致电
没有中间地带
♪ No in- between ♪
他们想让我看起来漂亮他们想让我看起来干净
♪` They want me to look pretty And they want me to look clean ♪
完全拒绝 完全接受 没有中间地带
♪Big no, big yes No in- between ♪
他们想让我快乐
♪They want me to be happy ♪
去哪里了 我内♥裤♥呢
Where are they? Where's my pants?
噢 嘉莉把它们放进一个大袋子然后走了
Oh, uh, Carrie put them in one of her big bags and left.
她要带上我的东西去空洞
She's taking my stuff to the void.
她要把这些都扔到空洞里去 我的东西要永远没了
She's gonna throw it all into the void, and then it'll be gone forever.
不要仅为了潮流而改变 它太容易结束
♪Don't change just for the trend It's too quick to end ♪
继续努力成长 在你的心里有你可以播种的种子
♪Keep on tryin' to grow In your mind there are seeds you can sow ♪
不要等待世界终结
♪Don't wait for the world to end ♪
在你伸出援手之前
♪Before you give a hand ♪
继续努力成长 在你的心里有你可以播种的种子
♪Keep on tryin' to grow In your mind there are seeds you can sow ♪
不要仅为了潮流而改变 它太容易结束
♪Don't change just for the trend It's too quick to end ♪
你要丢什么东西进去
What's going in?
死掉的嘉莉
The old Carrie.
你不能在这里抛尸 这是最基本的规矩
You can't throw bodies in. That's, like, rule number one.
不不 这只是个比喻
No, no. It's metaphorical.
是这样的 我和我男朋友 -我不关心
See, me and my boyfriend- - - I don't care.
五镑
Five quid.
我真觉得我会很适合这发型的 每个脸型都有适合它的刘海样子
I really think I'd suit it. There's a fringe for every face shape.
超 爱 它 我爱它
♪L- O- V- EI- T, I love it ♪
我是掌管信♥用♥卡♥的老板 拿出来吧
♪ I'm a boss with a card out So run it ♪
现在就是时候了
♪Right now ♪
超 爱 它 我爱它
♪L- O- V- EI- TI love it♪
把价格标签剪掉并装袋吧
♪Cut the price tag off now and bag it ♪
现在就是时候了
♪Right now ♪
这感觉太棒啦
Ah, that felt good.
是啊 这多健康
Yeah, this is healthy! I think.
拜拜 过去式的嘉莉
Bye- bye, girlfriend Carriel
感觉太自♥由♥啦
I feel so free!
我们要怎么玩 我们要怎么玩
♪How we gonna have fun? How we gonna have fun? ♪
珍 我要剪了 -嘉莉 不要
Jen, I'm gonna do it. - Carrie, no.
我要剪了 -住手啊
I'm gonna do it. - Don't do it!
我要剪了
It's happening.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我看起来怎么样
How does it look?
我
I- -
那是
Is that- -
我就去看一眼那里
I- I'm just going to go check something over there.
我该放手了
You need to go.
我性感的小玻璃瓶
My sexy little carafe.
我真为你骄傲啊
I'm so proud of you!
嘿
Hey!
这些是我的内♥裤♥
Those are my pants!
卡什
Kash.
英国法律规定下 这些是我的个人财产
Now, under UK law, they are my property,
我会毫不犹豫对你扔掉它们提出诉讼的
and I will not hesitate to sue for damages.
卡什 -它们附带了很多情感价值还有
Kash. - They have immense sentimental value and- -
我都明白