珍的不一样（2023）

来的路上顺利吗
How was your journey?
糟透了
It was terrible.
我很穷 所以坐的巴士
有股潮热的生鸡肉味道
I got the bus because I'm poor.
And it smelt like warm, raw chicken.
我超级紧张
And I'm really nervous,
一路都很想上厕所，但我憋住了
so I thought I was gonna shit myself the whole way in, but I didn't.
我现在坐立难安 因为我的卫生棉条快掉出来了
And if I'm sitting weirdly, it's because I think my tampon's come out.
我刚才在楼下没来得及去厕所 因为我早上睡过头了
I didn't have time to go to the bathroom downstairs 'cause I slept in.
因为我昨晚花了太长时间自♥慰♥
Because I spent so long last night trying to make myself come,
但一直没高♥潮♥ 因为我服了抗抑郁药
but I couldn't, 'cause of my antidepressants.
我不知道为什么跟你说这些
I don't know why I just told you that.
这就是我的能力
It's my thing.
别担心
Don't worry.
如果你是合适的人选 事实只会有利于你
If you're the right candidate, the truth can only work in your favour.
-那可不妙 -太可怕了
-Oh, I hate that. -Yeah, that's awful for me.
我知道这么问很老套 但你为何想来这里工作呢
So it's a cliché, I know, but why do you want to work here?
我不想 但我得挣钱生存
I don't, but I need money to live.
你拿到了英国文学2.1学位
You've got a two-one in English literature.
没有 我辍学了 但我不好意思告诉别人
No, I dropped out. But I'm-- I was too embarrassed to tell anyone.
所以我假装每天去上学 坚持了一年
So I pretended to go every day for a year.
但我其实只是在城里的快销品牌店里闲逛
But, really, I just wandered around the big Primark in town.
你觉得自己最大的弱点是什么
What would you say your greatest weakness is?
严重缺乏安全感 自私 有点懒 没什么追求
Crippling insecurity. I'm selfish, kinda lazy. I lack ambition.
固执 好争论 还善妒
I'm stubborn, argumentative, jealous.
我上完厕所只在有旁人时才洗手
I only wash my hands if there's someone else in the bathroom.
我好像没有能力爱别人 我还担心自己可能有点种族歧视
Don't think I'm capable of love. I am worried I'm a little bit racist.
接下来这个问题我有点紧张 但你有什么问题问我吗
I'm a bit afraid to ask this, but do you have any questions for me?
你的眼罩下有一个恶心的眼洞吗
Do you have a gross eye hole under there?
真抱歉
I'm so sorry.
你的简历上好像没有注明自己的超能力
I see you haven't got your power down on here.
因为我目前还没有超能力
That's because I don't have one yet.
我们会面试许多求职者 你觉得自己有何过人之处
We interview a lot of candidates. What makes you special?
不知道
I don't know.
瑞秋还好吗
Yeah. How's Rachel?
-我现在正要去接她
I'm fetching her right now.
-是吗 -你好吗
-Oh, yeah? -How are you?
-我很好
-Yeah, good. I'm great.
重大改变
探索诊所
《珍的不一样》
刚才真不错 伙计
Nice one, mate.
周六是我妹妹18岁生日 你想来吗
It's my sister's 18th on Saturday if you wanna come.
可能挺无聊的 但你懂的 有免费蛋糕
It's probably gonna be shit-ish, but, you know, free cake.
而且我妈总会买♥♥很多酒
And my mum always buys too much wine.
你还有妹妹
You've got a sister?
对 她叫安迪 我应该提过她几次
Yeah, Andy. I've mentioned her, I think. A few times.
不可思议
That's mad.
你忙的话就算了 完全不用担心
If you're busy, it's totally fine. No worries at all.
选择权在你 反正非常欢迎你
Option's there. You're more than welcome.
你如果能来应该会很棒
It'd be cool if you came, I suppose.
每次都这样
Every time.
基茨·艾伦♥公♥♥司♥ 大律师事务所
大律师事务所
我嫁给那男人 浪费了25年光阴 而她只陪了他25分钟
Twenty-five years I wasted with that man. She's been with him 25 minutes.
而那是他一生中最棒的25分钟 蠢婊♥子♥
And they were the best 25 minutes of his life, you dumb bitch.
听着 我们今天就能解决
Look, we can settle this today.
只要我们能跟格林汉姆先生直接对话
If we can talk to Mr Greenham directly,
我相信他会站在我的客户这边
then I'm certain he'll side with our client.
杰克逊女士
Ms Jackson.
二位好
Hi. Hello.
请二位节哀顺变
I'm so sorry for your loss.
好的 抱歉
Yes. Sorry.
滚开 就不能让我清静一会吗
Oh, fuck off. Can I not get a moment of peace?
-格雷汉姆先生 -我记得你 之前打离婚官司的
-Mr Greenham-- -I remember you from the divorce.
你留胡子了 是吧 没想到你还能比以前更像恋童癖
Grown a moustache, have you? Didn't think you could look more like a nonce.
我在遗嘱里说得很清楚了
I made it very clear in my will.
由坦妮娅继承全部遗产
Tanya gets everything.
那个骑士桥街的丑鬼什么都得不到
The Knightsbridge scarecrow gets nothing.
还有一件事 你们去死吧
And one more thing, go fuck yourselves.
再次表示我最深切的哀悼
Once again, my deepest condolences.
你是谁
-Who are you?
居然捡到猫了
-Free cat?
时间侠
我的天
Oh, my God.
-出去
-衣服上印的是时“日”侠吗
-Get out.
-Does that say "Super Cock"?
不 是“时间侠” 时间
No, it says, "Super Clock." Clock.
“门”字框掉了
The "L" just fell down.
你的生殖器轮廓一览无余
I can see every square inch of your genitals.
就像超♥市♥里真空包装的肉
It's like when they vacuum pack meat at the supermarket.
这是万圣节派对的行头 是故意玩的讽刺
It's for a Halloween party. It's ironic.
太精彩了 让我掏出手♥机♥
No way. Let me get my phone.
不行
No!
该死
快啊
Come on.
别进来 我在自♥慰♥
Don't come in. I'm… masturbating.
好吧 卡丽说她会晚点回来
Okay. Carrie said she'd be home late.
好 我快好了
Okay. I'm just finishing.
要来杯茶吗
Do you want a cup of tea?
好 去吧
Yeah. Go on.
它显然被虐待了 都瘦成皮包骨了
He's obviously been mistreated. He's skin and bone.
它是流浪猫 反正房♥东不会同意你养在公♥寓♥里
He's a dump truck. The landlord won't let you keep it in the flat anyway.
-因为房♥东都不是好人 没错 -房♥东都不是好人
-'Cause all landlords are evil. -All landlords are evil.
没错
-Yes.
-我回来了 -工作顺利吗
-Hello. -How was work?
一旦事情变得难看 所有人都生我的气
Everyone always gets angry with me when it goes badly.
我只是个传话的 又不是我自己的话
I'm just the messenger. It's not me saying it.
没错 你只是个容器 就像个性感的饮料瓶
Yeah, you're just a vessel. Like a sexy little carafe.
谢谢 宝贝
-Thank you, babe.
-你怎么不辞职 -对 辞职吧
-Well, why don't you just quit? -Yeah, quit.
我不能就那么辞职
I can't just quit.
也对 还有人得靠你养活
Right. You have dependants.
-我在找工作了 -没错
-I'm looking for a job. -Yeah.
他整天都待在房♥间里申请工作 是吧 宝贝
He spends all day in his room applying for jobs. Don't you, babe?
对
Yes.
这份工作薪水不错
It pays well.
而且他们不只是利用我的能力 他们还让我端茶倒水
And they don't just use me for my power. They also ask me to make teas and coffees.
天 我基本就是台家用电器
Oh, no. I'm basically an appliance.
听着 总有可能更糟
Look, it could always be worse.
别这么贬低你自己 珍
Don't put yourself down like that, Jen.
还是说你指的是普遍情况 你是指普遍情况 对吧
Or do you mean in general? Oh, you meant in general, didn't you?
对
Yeah.
你真是个勇敢的斗士
You are such a brave little soldier.
卡丽 我只是还没获得能力 又不是要死了
Carrie, I haven't got a power yet. I'm not, like, terminal.
也许你真正的能力就是做自己
Hey. Maybe the real power is just being yourself.
这是我这辈子听过最蠢的话
That is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.
绝对不是真的
Absolutely not true. No.
我知道怎么能让你高兴
I know what will cheer you up.
我又不伤心
I'm not sad.
天 怎么又是你
Oh, God. Not you again.
希♥特♥勒♥ 你猜怎么着 现在没人反对异族通婚了
Hey, Hitler. Yeah, suck a dick. Everyone's cool with interracial marriage now.
没错 你现在就在我的白人女朋友体内 我们每月至少上♥床♥两次
Yeah, you're inside my white girlfriend, and we fuck at least twice a month.
“我是谁
Ooh! Who am I?
咱们冬天再进攻俄♥国♥吧 -“因为我是个愚蠢的贱♥人♥”
Let's invade Russia in the winter because I'm a big dumb bitch.
-“因为我是个愚蠢的贱♥人♥”
-呵呵
Okay.
很好笑
Very funny.
对了 犹太人总体上过得挺好
Oh, the Jews are broadly doing okay.
没错
-Yeah. -La, la, la, la!
我不听
I'm not listening.
太幼稚了
-This is really childish.
好了 我要去跟陌生人上♥床♥了
Right. Well, I'm off to go get railed by a stranger.
火花网 戈登 28岁
抱歉 我得戴上手套
Sorry, I just need to put my glove on.