六场危事（2016）

我要在法庭上为自己求情
I'm gonna throw my self on the mercy of the court.
我会说她是半夜来的
I'll say she came in the middle of the night.
带着枪 吃了我的鸡
She had a gun. She ate my chicken.
开门 警♥察♥
Open up. It's the police.
天哪 来了
Oh, my God! Coming!
别出声啊 我们...
Don't say anything. We...
我刚刚应了 我说了"来了"
I just said something. I said, "Coming."
来了
Coming!
如果是警♥察♥舞会的事
If this is about the Policeman's Ball,
我们已经有票了
we have tickets already.
没错
Yeah.
一切都正常吗
Is everything all right?
一切都正常啊
Yes, everything is fine.
我不知道你什么意思
I don't understand your implication.
又什么隐藏含义吗
What are you implying?
可能是我车前灯坏了 对吧
It's probably the headlight on my car, it's broken, right?
我知道了 所以你们不用现在出现
I know this, so you don't have to come out now.
对 现在可是凌晨四点半
No, not at 4:30 in the morning.
他们非常尽责啊
They're very dedicated.
没错 但你们怎么觉得有人在我们这呢
Yeah, but what makes you think someone is here?
我是说 如果你们觉得这里有什么人
I mean, if, in fact, you think someone is here.
我们不是有意绕晕你们的 好吗
We don't mean to disorient you, all right?
放轻松 我只是接到了
Just calm down. I mean, we just got a call
安全公♥司♥的电♥话♥ 你们家的警铃响了
from the security company your alarm went off.
可能是那时候我在重置警铃
It was probably when I reset the alarm.
我按错了按钮
I pressed the wrong button. I...
他笨手笨脚的 连保险丝都换不了
He's so mechanically inept, he can't change a fuse.
没错 我换不了保险丝
I can't change a fuse. She's right.
我...
I...
今晚我睡不着
I couldn't sleep tonight.
我一直都昏头昏脑的
I've been sixes and sevens, so...
其实我能换保险丝
I can change a fuse, actually.
我之前在楼上睡着了
I was upstairs asleep.
我今天剪头剪得太累了
I had a very strenuous haircut today,
所以很困
so I'm exhausted.
我们总是设警铃
We always set the alarm
这样我们就不会被割喉了
because we do not want our throats cut.
好吧 但今晚你们没有吧
Okay, but tonight, you didn't.
没有 我很快就睡着了...
No, no, no, I was fast asleep when you...
你好像说你睡不着啊
I thought you said you couldn't sleep.
不 我一开始睡不着
No, I couldn't sleep at first,
但过了一会儿 睡神降临
but then after a while, magical Morpheus descended
给我唱了首催眠曲
sprinkling sand on my eyes,
我就像个婴儿一样睡着了
and I just went out like a babe.
好吧 我们可是飞快地赶过来的
Okay, well, we came as soon as we could.
你们真好啊
Well, so nice of you. Would you like
想进来喝杯咖啡吗
to come in and have a cup of coffee?
那可是今晚最棒的邀请了
That's the best offer we've had all night.
算了吧 违反规定了
Nah, come on, it's against the rules.
你们不想违反部门规定吧
You don't want to break department rules.
他们会丢了养老金的
You know, they're gonna lose their pensions.
我们可以通融一下的
Oh, we can bend the rules.
这片区域从来没发生过什么事
Nothing ever happens in this area.
没错 他说得对
No, I mean, he's right.
这个街区很安全
It is a pretty safe neighborhood.
可是你们最不想的就是...
And yet, when you least expect it...
如果你们不介意 不麻烦的话
You know what? We will come in for a cup of coffee
我们想来一杯咖啡
if you don't mind, huh, if it's no trouble.
- 谢谢你们 - 他们进来了
- Thank you. - They're coming in.
非常感谢 谢谢
Thank you very much. Thank you.
- 干得好啊 - 好的
- Good work. - Okay.
干得好 干得好
Good work. Good work.
你在干嘛 你是傻吗
What are you doing? Are you nuts?
我一直在表现得若无其事
I was trying to appear nonchalant.
我不想让他们怀疑
I didn't want them to be suspicious.
他们本来就没有怀疑
Suspi... They weren't suspicious.
他们没有怀疑 你开玩笑吧
They weren't suspicious? Are you kidding me?
你话都说成那样了 要说冰箱里有具死尸
The way you were carrying on, you would have thought
都有人会信的好吗
there was a dead body in the freezer.
说真的 你简直是在说胡话
I mean, really, you were babbling.
请进 请进
Just come in. Come in.
快请进 要不要...
Come in. Have...
要不要进来喝杯咖啡
Won't you come in for coffee?
他们本来都要走了
You know, they were about to leave.
我是在替你掩饰啊
I was covering for you.
我不需要你替我掩饰
I don't need you to cover for me, you know.
你又不是什么智囊军师
You're not a mastermind.
你难道不明白刚才差点发生什么吗
Don't you understand what would have happened?
他们可能回到车上
They would have gone to the car.
在车里坐个一会
They would have sat in the car for a minute or two.
意识到你听起来有多么可疑
They would have realized how guilty you sounded.
他们会回来搜查整栋房♥子
They would've come back and searched the house.
很好 那么...
Oh, great, so...
多亏了你 他们现在就坐在餐厅里
thanks to you, they're in the dining room.
咖啡好了
Here you go.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
我们意识到应该是假警报
Yeah, we figured it was a false alarm,
但还是要查看一下
but you have to check it out.
我们...
Well, we're...
我们自己住在这
We live here alone,
而且在这住了二十六年了
and we've lived here for 26 years,
从来没出过什么事
and we've never had a problem.
只是我们俩独个生活
Just alone, just the two of us.
这附近犯罪率很低
It's a very low crime neighborhood,
或者我该说是零犯罪率
or maybe I should say no crime neighborhood.
去年有一次 一个女人
I mean, once last year, a woman
被人用剁肉刀砍掉了头
had her head cut off with a meat ax.
你们不可能逮住每一个罪犯的
Ah, you can't win 'em all.
他们找到了那个头
Well, and they found the head.
我读到过这事 那是...
So I read about that. That was...
接着有几桩这个嗜血疯子
And then there was a few break-ins
入室行凶 杀人
where this, uh, homicidal maniac was murdering people
并且肢解尸体
and dismembering their bodies.
没错
Yeah.
松树街往南一点 有两个在逃犯
And down by Pine Street, those two escaped convicts
屠♥杀♥了一家四口
butchered a family of four.
用的是链条锯
With a chainsaw.
我希望他们用的是奥林匹亚链条锯
Oh, I hope it was an Olympia chainsaw,
那链条锯切起任何东西来
the chainsaw that cuts through any substance
都像切融化的黄油似的
like it was melted butter.
我丈夫给那个锯子写过广♥告♥文案
My husband did the commercial for that chainsaw.
还有那个到处趁人睡觉时
And then there was that crazy who was going around
到别人家放火
lighting people's houses on fire while they slept
把人在睡梦中烧死的疯子
so they burned to death.
但除了这些 这一带没别的犯罪了
But no other crimes around here.
至少没有乱穿马路的
At least there's no jaywalking, you know.
这咖啡真不错
Mmm, this is good coffee.
谢谢
Thank you.
那是什么动静
What's that noise.
这是谁
Who's this?
我不知...
Oh, I don't...
我不知道 她显然是迷路了
I don't know. She's obviously lost.
这是我们女儿 这是我们女儿 亲爱的
It's our daughter. It's our daughter, honey.
你真是睡着了
You really were asleep.
- 这是我们女儿吗 - 是的
- This is our daughter? - Yes.
- 什么时候的事 - 伊丽莎白
- Since when? - Elizabeth.
这是我们小女儿普里西拉
Oh, this is our little girl Priscilla.
所以你们不是自己住
So you're not alone.
我们女儿不算 她是剖腹产生的
Our daughter doesn't count. She was a cesarean.
她看起来很面熟
She looks so familiar.