六场危事（2016）

嗨 你是谁
Hi. Who are you?
我是凯的朋友 你呢
I'm a friend of Kay's. Who... who are you?
我是艾伦·布罗克曼 见到你真高兴
I'm Allen Brockman. It's so nice to meet you.
我... 看到你我很吃惊 因为我以为
I... You took me by surprise' cause I didn't think
他们今天没客人
they were having a guest today.
没错 我是不请自来的
Yeah, I dropped in unexpectedly.
那挺好的 你是...
Well, that's nice. And you are...
天哪
Oh, my God.
天哪 等等 你是...
Oh, my God, wait a minute, you're...
我认识你
I know you.
我认识你... 你是那个...
I know you... You're from...
你是那个女孩
Who are... You're that girl.
你是报纸上的那个女孩
You're the girl from the papers, from the papers.
我之前在报纸上见过你
I've seen you before, from the papers.
他们在找你
They're chasing you.
- 你被通缉了 - 听着 小声点
- You're wanted. - Look, keep it down.
大家就相安无事 好吗
Nobody's gonna get hurt, okay?
听着 我得说... 天哪 你真人比较漂亮
Look, I got to say... Jesus, you're even prettier in person.
太棒了 你的照片
It's amazing. Your photographs,
和你真人一点都不像
they don't even come close to doing you justice.
你真漂亮
You're beautiful.
天哪 你是伦尼·戴尔
Wow, God, it's Lenny Dale.
你不是说现在她就已经走了吗
You said she'd be out of here by now.
没有
Well, she's not,
警♥察♥已经查到纽约去了
and the police have traced her to New York,
她现在可出名了
and she's hot as a pistol.
等度过危险了她才能走
She can't leave until the coast is clear.
凯 我们要去坐牢了
Kay, we're gonna wind up in prison.
我一看就是要被鸡♥奸♥的样子
You know, and I'm the type that gets sodomized.
我会被直接扒光了 赤身裸体
I'm fair skinned and, you know, rather shapely.
没错 但我们现在很安全
Yes, you are, but we're safe now, we are.
如果警♥察♥来了 会查到我有前科
If the cops come, I got a rap sheet.
什么前科
You got a what?
记得我们在比弗利山庄吗
Remember when we were in Beverly Hills?
因为横穿马路 我被捕了
I was arrested for jay walking.
他们把我按在车上 搜我的身
They... they threw me up against the car, they frisked me.
我只能认罪了
I only got out on a plea deal.
听着 我不能把她赶出去
Listen, I can't turn her out.
我不能把她赶出去
I just can't turn her out.
你知道这女人一餐吃多少吗
Have you seen how much this woman eats?
所有的革命份子都吃这么多吗
I mean, do all revolutionaries eat so much?
列♥宁♥也吃这么多吗
Did Lenin eat so much?
她饿了很久了
She's been starving, starving.
她吃了... 首先...
She... she ate... First of all...
首先 她吃光了我的水果夹心饼
First of all, my Fig Newtons, she finished.
鸡也吃完了
The chicken is gone.
这到底是怎么回事
I mean, you know, what... what's going on here?
她吃个没停
She never stops.
你能忘了鸡和水果夹心饼吗
Will you forget about the chicken and the Fig Newtons?
你没有水果夹心饼也能活下去
You'll live without the Fig Newtons.
我们还有别的事要做[更大的鱼要煎]
We've got bigger fish to fry.
没错 她还吃了所有的鱼
Yeah, she also ate all the fish.
我还买♥♥了鲟鱼呢
You know, I bought sturgeon.
你就对她没有一点怜悯吗
Don't you have any pity at all for her?
没有
I have no pity.
你知道一条鲟鱼多少钱吗
Sturgeon is, you know how much sturgeon costs a pound?
你还在厨房♥呢
Oh, you're still in the kitchen.
没错
Yup.
我见到艾伦了
I met Allen.
是吗
Did you?
我给了他大♥麻♥
I gave him marijuana.
很好 太好了
Oh, great, that's great.
你敢相信他从来没抽过吗
Can you believe that he's never tried it?
真是手心里的小宝宝
What a sheltered life.
毒品 他要毒品干嘛
Drugs, what does he need drugs for?
不是毒品 是大♥麻♥ 而且别担心
Not drugs, grass, and don't worry,
他回他房♥间抽了
he's in his room trying it.
我让他别在这抽
I told him not to smoke it here
不然你会脑溢血的
or you'd have a cerebral hemorrhage.
嘿 那个...
Hey, um, uh...
你是不是要吃掉 最后一块水果夹心饼啊
Are you gonna eat that last piece of sturgeon?
怎么了 你想吃吗
Why, do you want it?
是啊 我有个小传统 每周五要来一块
Yeah, I... I have a little tradition here, Friday mornings.
当然 都给你
Sure. It's all yours.
没了高端奢侈品 你们这些有钱人就没了魂
You plutocrats are lost without your high end luxuries.
别再说我是有钱人了 好吗
Hey, don't give me the plutocrats routine, okay?
我来自布鲁克林的一个穷♥人♥家
I came from a poor family in Brooklyn.
我父亲是个面包师
My father was a baker.
我经常... 我们身无分文 知道吗
I used to... we had no money at all, you know?
他下班后 我就溜进他的店里
I would... I would sneak into his shop after hours
偷偷地吸果酱甜甜圈里的果酱
and suck the jelly out of the jelly donuts.
那曾是我的甜点
That was my dessert.
你说话和尼克松一样
You sound like Nixon.
是啊 但我曾是那个不得不
Yeah, well, I... I'm the guy that had to earn the money
赚钱养家的人
for the family.
起初 我特想变成像契科夫和塞林杰那样的人
I originally I wanted to be Chekhov or Salinger
尤其是塞林杰
is who I really wanted to be, Salinger.
但我得养家啊 所以我在麦德逊大道
But I had to support everybody so I got a job
找了份广♥告♥设计工作
on Madison Avenue writing commercials.
那你就能写一些虚假宣传的话
Oh, yeah, so you could sell people products
卖♥♥一些别人根本不需要的产品了
that they don't really want or need with false claims.
不 我从来不写虚假的
No, never false.
从不 从来不写那种
Never, never false claims, you know?
虽然为了让别人去买♥♥一个音乐马桶座圈
Although I did have to use some ingenuity to persuade people
我确实耍了些小聪明
to buy a musical toilet seat.
这样赚钱真可耻
It's a disgraceful way to make money.
又不像你一样去抢银行
Well, you know, it's not robbing a bank like you do.
我... 我之前有一篇小说
You know, I... I... I had a... a... a novel,
我第一部上了畅销排行榜的小说
my first novel was on the best seller list.
什么杂♥志♥的榜 家禽经销商杂♥志♥吗
In what paper, the poultry man's journal?
嘿 别这么说
Hey, don't give me that.
当然 你肯定没读过
I'm sure you've never read it, of course.
题目叫《要有光》
It was called "Let There Be Light".
故事讲的是一名直肠病学家
It was about a proctologist who finds God
在陌生的地方发现了上帝
in the strangest places.
这都吹过多少遍了
Hack claptrap.
我还拿到了很多稿酬呢
Yeah, well, I still get plenty of royalties from it.
当然啊 这样你就能买♥♥到 由资本主义社会
Of course, so you can buy all the stupid products
被迫提供给那些愚蠢的消费者的
that a capitalistic society has to offer
那些蠢东西了
its moron customers.
金钱啊 土地啊 地位啊
Possessions, possessions, status,
都是一些能让你
you know just anything to create an illusion
产生幸福幻觉的东西
of happiness in life.
你到底在说什么
What the hell are you talking about?
你夸夸其谈 胡言乱语
You know, you rant and you... you babble.
你到底想指的是什么
What... what... what... what are you discussing here?
比如那个
Like that.
什么... 这是我的华夫饼烘烤模
What... This is my waffle iron.
你居然在政♥治♥上反对我的烘烤模
You're politically against my waffle iron?
- 还有这个 - 那是个搅拌机
- And this? - That's a blender.
没错 我有很多家用电器
Yes, I have appliances.
还有这是什么
And what the hell is this?
那是个热巧克力机
It's a hot fudge machine.
你知道还有人在挨饿吗
Do you understand that... that people are starving?
- 因为热巧克力吗 - 不 你个蠢货
- For hot fudge? - No, you boob.
有些家庭连最基本的食物都给不了孩子
Families can't feed their children the essentials of life.
在美国 你知道营养失调的比率吗
Here in America, do you know the malnutrition rate?
当孩子们在挨饿时
And while kids are starving,
你就抱着华夫饼和热巧克力
you stand here and dick around
- 袖手旁观 - 没错 而你造了炸♥弹♥
- with waffles and hot fudge. - Yeah, and you make bombs.