六场危事（2016）

也是吧
I guess.
我很喜欢你在这些想法中挣扎的样子
I do love that you struggle with those thoughts.
挣扎就对了
Struggle's right.
真是够把人逼疯的了
It's enough to drive you crazy.
我爱你
I love you.
我们的孩子以后得叫西德尼
We have to name one of our kids after Sidney,
或者S. J. 蒙茨辛格吧
or S. J. Muntzinger,
他平常都煞有介事地这么写
as he pretentiously writes under.
他给我们做的介绍
He did introduce us.
好吧 或许吧
Yes, uh, maybe.
他是个好孩子
He's a great kid, you know?
他的父母就该为了我撮合了他俩
And his parents should give me a medal
给我一块勋章
for bringing the two of them together,
因为那个姑娘
because the girl is exactly
正是他们心目中的完美儿媳
what they always wanted for him.
她既聪明 又可爱
She's bright. She's lovely.
还受过教育
She's educated.
也很有教养
She's cultivated, you know.
她也不是那种疯狂又吸毒的嬉皮士
She's not one of those crazy, dope-smoking hippies.
年轻的爱情啊 真浪漫
Young love, it's so romantic.
我知道 我知道 看到他们感觉真甜蜜
I know. I know. It's sweet to see them.
你还记得你那时候
Do you remember when you were trying
想从亨利·古德温手上抢走我吗
to get me away from Henry Goodwin?
你简直卯足了劲...
You killed yourself trying to get...
那个暗恋你的
The fat, the fat, stuttering guy
胖结巴 是吗
that had the crush on you, right?
是啊 他向我求婚了呢 他求婚了
Yeah, he proposed to me. He proposed to me.
后来他怎么样了 天啊
But what happened to him? My God.
他赢了诺贝尔化学奖
He won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry
靠发明出来的药挣了数不尽的财富
and then made a billion dollars over some drug he invented.
你很幸运最后不是跟他在一起
Oh, well, you're lucky you didn't wind up with him then,
因为 你有我了啊 所以...
because, you know, you got me instead, so...
是啊 我的确有你 我很开心
No, I do have you, and I'm very, very happy
嫁给了一个 给商业广♥告♥
to have the man, the man who wrote commercials
写文案的男人
for the ad agency.
是啊 虽然不是诺贝尔奖
That's right. It may not be a Nobel Prize,
但我的确从萨塞克斯伯爵冷冻鱼缸的
but I did win something for my commercial
商业广♥告♥里挣了一笔
for the Earl of Sussex Frozen Fishbowls.
- 是啊 - 不要说这个了
- Yeah. - Let's now forget that.
我一直觉得 如果鱼缸再小点
You know, I always thought that it would have been
就好多了
much better if they were smaller fishbowls,
因为那样 就不会有那么多人
because then that way, not so many people
头套鱼缸窒息而死了
would have choked on them.
是啊 那个时候公♥司♥
Yes, that was a little problem
的确是经历了一段困难时期
for the company for a while that we did.
我只知道 我最终还是遇上了
Uh, all I know is that I wound up finally
对的女人 好的妻子
with the right woman, the right wife.
不能更幸福了
Could not be happier.
我们真是很幸运的人啊
We, we are very, very lucky people.
现在我该说祈祷词了吗
Shall I say my prayers in the event
这么多年我说没有上帝这件事
that there's a God and
难道一直都是错的吗
I've been wrong all these years?
你觉得我们该不该...
Do you think we should've...
你觉得我们该不该去华盛顿
Do you think we should've gone to Washington
游♥行♥
to demonstrate?
好了 睡觉吧
Right, get some sleep.
愿上帝保佑蒙茨辛格一家
God bless the Muntzinger household.
嗯 如果上帝你老人家有在听
Yes, if you're listening,
我也是这么想的
that goes double for me.
还有 如果你碰巧想到了什么我的会计
And if you happen to think of any new tax loopholes
没注意到的税收漏洞
my accountant hasn't thought of,
今晚托梦给我吧
just slip it into my dream tonight.
晚安 亲爱的 好梦
Good night, honey. Sweet dreams.
晚安 晚安
Ah, good night, good night.
你知道那个谁
Hey, you know, you know who came up,
我今天...
whose name today when I was...
我好累
Ugh, so tired.
你知道我的理发师
You know who my barber mentioned today
今天说我像谁吗
in conjunction with me?
乔布 你敢相信吗
Job. Can you believe that?
好了 晚安 亲爱的
Well, good night, honey.
晚安 晚安
Oh, good night, good night.
我的天哪
Jesus, oh, my God.
什么 怎么了
What? What happened?
我忘记开警报了
I forgot to turn the alarm on.
你怎么会忘记开警报啊
How could you forget to turn the alarm on?
我们搬进这里二十六年来
You've turned it on every night
你每晚都会开警报的
since we moved in here 26 years ago.
我知道 但是 小心驶得万年船嘛
I know, but, you know, better safe than sorry.
别那么偏执了
Oh, don't, don't be paranoid.
- 真的 放松点 - 天哪 我...
- Really, just relax. - God, I'm...
我不是偏执 我只是太累了
I'm not paranoid, but I'm so tired,
我可不相信会有...
I don't believe any...
亲爱的 亲爱的 别絮絮叨叨的了
Honey, honey, don't be an old lady.
重新躺好吧
Lie back down again.
一晚不开防盗警报没事的
You're gonna survive one night without a burglar alarm.
天啊
Oh, geez.
我真希望我没读过"冷血"
I wish I hadn't read "In Cold Blood".
他们可是割了克拉特先生的喉啊
You know, they cut Mr. Clutter's throat.
好了 好了
Okay. All right.
下楼去开警报吧
Go downstairs and turn the burglar alarm on,
你不开是睡不着了
because we're not gonna get any sleep until you do.
- 我不去了 - 去吧
- I'm not gonna do it. - Go ahead.
不 我的心理医生觉得我已经偏执了
No, my shrink thinks I'm paranoid,
所以我...
so I'm just...
我太累了
I'm too tired.
没事的
That's fine.
你听到了吗
Did you hear that?
你听到了吗
Did you hear that?
什么
What?
你把我叫醒干什么
Why are you waking me?
我好像听到了动静
I thought I heard something.
没有 什么都没有
No, it's nothing.
没事 放过我吧
It's nothing. Leave me alone.
睡吧
Go to sleep.
相信我 没事的
Believe me, there's nothin' doin'.