鬼作秀

难道我应该相信
that no one has come across this animal until now?
在此之前 竟没有一个人发现过这种生物吗
It's incredibly rare, for starters.
首先 这是种很罕见的生物
We searched for months. They found 10.
我们寻找了好几个月 也才找到十条
Still,
十条而已 不过10!
I braved uncharted territory.
我踏足了未知地带
I'll reap the rewards.
收获还是巨大的
But trust me, we all win here.
但是 相信我 这是共赢的
I'm sorry.
抱歉
It's too freaky for me.
太诡异了 我接受不了
I really can't do this.
我真的做不到
And, uh, good luck.
那就 祝你好运了
两周后
Alright, here we go. That will be $10.37.
一共10.37美元
We'll take the next in line. Sir?
下一位 先生
What can I get for you?
您要来点什么
Wow, have you been working out. You look great.
你健身了吧 身材看起来真棒
And you're up.
您的餐好了
Just finished working out.
刚健完身
Hey, look.
看啊
Would you like a drink with that?
要配饮料吗
So this is where you disappeared to.
原来你躲到这里来了
Kelly?
凯丽
Is that you?
真是你吗
It works.
真的有效
It has only been two weeks.
这才两周
And Sloan hired me to be his spokesmodel.
而且斯隆还雇我做他的代言模特
Can you believe that?
难以置信吧
You look... fantastic.
你的身材看起来棒极了
You really did it?
你真的做了吗
With the worm and the suck it?
用虫子 在身上吸
Totally painless. Just like Sloan said.
完全无痛的 完全如斯隆所说
A sip here, a sip there.
这里吸一下 那里吸一下
It's a miracle.
简直是奇迹
Ohh, and he asked me to help introduce him on AM America tomorrow.
他还叫我在明天的《晨间美国直播秀》上介绍这疗法
You're gonna be, you're gonna be on the show?
你要上节目吗
Yeah.
是啊
I can get you a couple of tickets.
我可以给你弄几张票
Well... Just one ticket, right?
确切地说 只能给你一张
There is no plus one for a plus three.
你这身材 本身就要占几个座位了
Order up!
餐好了
Why don't you come be our volunteer?
不如你来当志愿者吧
Oh, come on, Henry.
去吧 亨利
Opportunity knocks twice.
机会会第二次降临哦
Henry.
亨利
Everybody's doing it.
大家都在做了
Order number 14.
14号♥单
That's me.
是我的
Ta ta.
再见
Is there anything I can get you?
有什么需要的吗
Water? Some donuts?
水 甜甜圈
No, I had a box.
不用 我刚吃了一盒
We are really happy you're here, Henry.
我们真的很高兴你能来 亨利
Dr. Sloan is so excited to see your transformation.
斯隆医生很期待看到你的转变
Are you excited?
你激动吗
A little terrified.
其实是恐慌
So was I when I did it.
我当时要做之前也这样
But it was nothing, really.
但其实没什么的 真的
See that man right there? Yeah.
看到那个人了吗 嗯
He owns the station.
他是电视台老板
He did it, loved it,
他做了 超爱
half the crewmen too.
一半的员工也都做了
All these people. That is incredible.
这么多人都做了 太惊人了
Quiet on set, we're going live in 3, 2...
安静 我们要直播了 倒数3 2...
Good morning. It's time for...
早上好 现在是
《晨间美国直播》
兰迪·怀顿 苏西·斯普莱
AM America Live.
《晨间美国直播秀》
Today, we have a big show.
今天的节目内容很劲爆
After months of secrecy and speculation,
长达几个月的保密 外界对此猜测纷纷
Dr. Herbert Sloan is here to
赫伯特·斯隆医生马上将在此
unveil his top secret body sculpting technique.
为我们揭开最高机密的纤体塑形技术的面纱
Due to be made available to the public in just four days.
四天后就将面向市场全面开放
Maybe I should try it on my love handles.
或许我也该用来减一下我腰间的赘肉
But first, the celestial event on everyone's mind,
但首先 大家都在期待的天文现象
the big solar eclipse,
一场大型日全食
今日日全食
happening this morning.
今天上午即将开始
It's being called the next great American Eclipse.
它被称为「惊天美国日食」
It's so exciting.
太激动人心了
And we got our own roving science expert, Jim Scott,
本台已经请了科学专家吉姆·斯科特
standing by at the Horlicks Observatory
等候在天文台旁
to tell us all about it.
为我们全程报道
Hey Jim!
你好 吉姆
Morning Randy and Suzy.
早上好 兰迪 苏西
Hope you're not afraid of the dark,
希望你们不怕黑
because this may be the most spectacular eclipse of our lifetime.
因为这也许是我们此生能见到的最大的日全食
吉姆·斯科特好立克天文台现场报道
It estimated to last no longer than 160 seconds.
预计日食时长不会超过160秒
But during that time,
但在此期间
I'm told, this would be seen across the entire United States,
据说美国全境都能看到
something that hasn't happened for almost a century.
这是将近一个世纪都未见的奇观了
Now, that sounds spooky. Anything to worry about?
听起来好吓人 有什么危险性吗
Not so much.
并没有
But if you have pets, you might want to keep an eye on them.
但如果你有宠物 也许要看紧点
Sometimes, our furred and feathered friends
有时候 动物朋友们
get a little jumpy during an eclipse.
在日食期间会有些暴躁
Now, why is that?
为什么
Well, there's been speculation
有理论推测
that abnormal animal behavior results in
动物出现异常行为是因为
increase magnetic field flows during a solar eclipse of this magnitude.
这种大型日食会引起的磁场起伏
I don't know what that means!
完全听不懂啊
Me neither.
我也是
Thanks Jim. Let us know when it starts to get dark.
非常感谢 吉姆 日食开始再连线
Well, and keeping with our science theme,
既然说到了科学
we would like to welcome Dr. Sloan, with Skin Deep, by Sloan.
让我们热烈欢迎斯隆浅肤纤体中心的斯隆医生
赫伯特·斯隆医生
Thank you. It's great to be here.
谢谢 很高兴能来做节目
Now, I understand
我了解到
you're going to be
你将在我们的演播室
performing this miracle procedure. right here in this studio,
直播这一惊人的手术过程
in a matter of minutes.
几分钟就能成功
Randy, I think it's safe to say that
兰迪 我觉得可以负责任地说
you will be amazed.
你一定会被震撼到的
Well, we will see right after this message.
广♥告♥之后 马上见分晓
Clear! Back in 90, folks.
停 90秒后继续直播 各位
Thank you.
谢谢
We'll be right over.
马上就好
I guess this is it.
大概这次真的要改变了
You nervous?
你紧张吗
You know, all my life,
说实话 我这一辈子
I've struggle with negative body image.
都因为负面的身体形象备受困扰
Diet pills, fat burners, I've tried everything.
减肥药 燃脂剂等各种疗法 我全都尝试过
And now...
现在
with one big slurp...
只要被吸食一口
all my problems are gonna be gone.
我的问题全都会消失
And I can have a dating life.
我说不定还能找到对象呢
Trust me. I've been swatting them away like flies.
相信我 追我的男人多得跟苍蝇一样 赶都赶不完
Hey, you think when this is all...
话说 你觉得等这结束后...
Excuse me.
失陪一下
Where is my soon to be body beautiful?
很快就要拥有健美身材的帅哥在哪儿
Dr. Sloan.
斯隆医生
I never should have doubted you.
我不该质疑你的
Water under the bridge, my friend.