鬼作秀

Joe?
乔
Joe?
乔
Joe?
乔
Joe Joe?
乔乔
Honey, did you hear me? I was calling you.
亲爱的 你没听见吗 我一直在叫你
I'm sorry, I was just finishing up Gillman.
抱歉 我在给吉尔曼做收尾工作
Take your teeth out.
把你的假牙拿出来
You know I can't understand you with those things in.
你知道你戴着那玩意儿我听不清你说话的
I wanted to say I'm sorry, I was finishing up the Gillman.
我刚说抱歉 我在给吉尔曼做收尾工作
Well, the Gillman can wait, because guess what?
吉尔曼可以等 因为你猜怎么着
Aunt Barb is here.
巴勃阿姨来了
With Uncle Kevin? Yeah, with Uncle Kevin.
和凯文叔叔一起吗 是的 一起
They brought pepperoni pizza, though.
不过他们带了意大利香肠披萨来
Come on, before it gets cold.
快来 趁热吃
Your friends will still be here when you get back.
你的朋友们会在这等你吃完的
Come to dinner!
来吃晚饭
I hypnotize you to come to dinner!
我催眠你来吃晚饭
I really feel like you're doing a good job there.
我感觉你的催眠真的奏效了
Thank you very much.
非常感谢
Trick-or-treat's not 'til October, buddy.
十月份才是万圣节呢 小屁孩
Every day is trick-or-treat around here.
在这里每天都是万圣节
Really? More Tang?
是吗 还要喝果珍吗
No thanks. I never drink Tang.
不了 谢谢 我不喝果珍
Why not?
为什么
It's the official drink of astronauts.
这可是宇航员官方指定饮料
It was the first beverage on the moon, you know that?
是被带上月球的第一杯饮料 知道吗
Joe likes Tang. He's just, he's doing his Dracula.
乔伊爱喝果珍 他只是在学德古拉伯爵说话
Bela Lugosi, right? Played him in the first one.
是贝拉·卢戈西吧 第一位在电影里饰演德古拉的演员
Technically, Max Schreck played him in the first one,
其实 马科斯·夏瑞克才是
The silent version,
是部默片
"Nosferatu," 1922.
1922年的"吸血僵尸"
Bela Lugosi was a dope addict.
贝拉·卢戈西有毒瘾
I never heard that. It's a fact!
这我倒没听说过 是事实
Look it up in the encyclopedia.
查查百科全书吧
I'm not crazy about the new guy.
我对这位新人不感冒
What's his name?
他叫什么来着
You know, the limey with the red eyes?
就那个红眼睛的英国佬
Christopher Lee. No, that's the karate guy.
克里斯托弗·李 不是他 他是打空手道的
Yeah, look it up.
对 查查看
Joe Joe doesn't have to.
乔乔不用查
He knows everything there is to know
只要跟德古拉 木乃伊还有弗兰肯斯坦有关的
about Dracula and the Mummy and Frankenstein and...
该知道的他都知道...
Who am I missing here?
我说漏了什么
Uh, OJ Simpson.
OJ辛普森啊
When I was his age,
我在他这般大的时候
I knew everything there was to know about football.
橄榄球的东西啥都懂
Nowadays, it's all about this horror crap.
现在的小孩 怎么净喜欢这些吓人的玩意儿
Can I be excused? I don't know, can you?
我能先走吗 你觉得呢
May I be excused? Yeah, yeah, in just a minute.
我能失陪一下吗 当然 先等一下
Um, Aunt Barb and Uncle Kevin
巴勃阿姨和凯文叔叔
have something that they wanted to ask us.
有事想问我们
Joe, would it be cool
乔
if me and Uncle Kevin came to stay for a bit?
我和凯文叔叔来住一阵子你觉得怎么样
Your mom could use an extra hand right now
你妈现在挺需要帮助的
with, well, all that's going on.
介于现在的情况
If you'll have us.
如果你肯收留我们的话
Heya, count. You're blowing it.
你失误了啊
Vampires don't show up in mirrors.
吸血鬼可不会出现在镜子里
Let me help you.
我来帮你
What?
怎么了
Your eye.
你的眼睛
Who did that to you?
谁干的
Billy Niles again?
又是比利·奈尔斯吗
Come here, kid.
过来 宝贝
Will you do me a favour
能帮我一个忙吗
and lay off the monster talk at school, hmm?
别再学校学怪物说话了 好吗
You're running short on friends, kiddo.
你都快没朋友了
I have all the friends I need.
我需要的朋友都在这
You got a lot of 'em.
那你倒是有很多
Why do they have to move in with us?
他们为什么非要搬来和我们住
You know, it's not a forever thing.
只是暂住一阵子
Just 'til I finish my next round of chemo.
直到我完成下一轮化疗
And, it'll...
而且...
It'll help your Uncle Kevin get back on his feet.
这也有助于你的凯文叔叔重新振作起来
He's such a loser.
他就是个彻头彻尾的败家子
Hey, he's not so bad.
他没那么坏
Did you know actually that he used to box in the Army?
你知道他以前在部队里打过拳吗
Maybe he could show you a few pointers
也许他能教你几招
on how to deal with ol' Billy Niles?
来对付比利·奈尔斯
Yeah?
是吗
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
明天再说
Okeydoke? Okeydoke.
好吗 好
What's playing on the old time machine tonight?
老时光机今晚要放什么
I haven't decided.
还没决定好
"Abbott and Costello Meets" somebody.
就放"两傻大战科学怪人"吧
Well, set it up. I'll make the Jiffy Pop.
放吧 我去准备爆米花
I love you, Mom.
爱你 妈妈
I love you.
我也爱你
Mom?
妈妈
Why do you always call it a time machine?
为什么你总叫它时光机
Because that's what projectors are.
因为放映机就是如此啊
Movies, they transport us.
电影能带我们穿越回旧时光
Think about it. I bet you remember
想想看 你肯定清楚地记得
exactly where you were
第一次听到弗兰肯斯坦
and who you were with the very first time
大喊"它还活着"的时候
you heard Dr. Frankenstein yell, "It's alive!"
你在哪 以及和谁在一起
I was with you.
我当时和你在一起
That's right.
没错
And with one flip of a switch, you always will be.
只需轻轻一拨 你就能回到和我在一起的时光
Together forever, Joe-Joe.
我们永远不分离 乔乔
Just like in the movies.
就像电影里一样
Mom?
妈妈
Mom?
妈妈
Good morning.
早安
Where's the kid at?
那小屁孩呢
I let him sleep in.
我由他睡了
On a Saturday?
在周六
It's chore day.
今天是大扫除日
He's probably up there watching goddamn movies again.
他估计又在屋里看那些破电影了
Kevin, be nice.
凯文 对他好点
He'll grow out of it. Some kids do Little League.
他长大了就好了 有些孩子打棒球
Joe-Joe and his mom did monsters.
乔和他妈妈喜欢怪兽
He's turning into a freak and you're promoting it.
他都快变成怪胎了 你还推波助澜
What are you doing in here, sniffing glue?
你在里头干嘛呢 闻胶水吗
Repairing the Reaper's arm.
修复死神的手臂
"Repairing the Reaper's arm."
还"修复死神的手臂"
Where they at, huh?
藏哪儿了
I know you got some girlies under here somewhere, huh?
我知道你在床下藏了些黄色杂♥志♥
Well, I'll be dipped in shit. You do like girls, don't you?
真是操了 你总归是喜欢女孩的吧
It's a collector's item.
那是珍藏版
But you don't like me much, do you?
但你不太喜欢我 对吧
That's okay.
不要紧
You know what, your cousin Gary,
你那表哥加里
he didn't like me much either.
他也不太喜欢我
We didn't watch monster movies and the Late Late Show.
我们既没看怪兽电影也没看"深夜秀"
My job was to make a man out of him.
我的任务就是把他训练成一名男子汉
That's exactly what I'm gonna do for you.
我也准备这么训练你
Thanks?
那 谢谢
You're welcome. First things first,
不客气 首先
we gotta get rid of all this horror crap.
我们得扔掉这些恐怖破玩意儿